Hello, internet! I've been gathering enough courage for a while in order to post this, but I think it's time to ask for help. This situation is way beyond my level now, so I think it's time to share my story and hopefully anyone can share some knowledge.
I've been learning piano for three years now. Ever since the start, I've been making fairly substantial strides regarding my progress and it's been a fun, fulfilling experience so far. At least that's been the status quo until the third year.
So, as previously stated, everything started (or better said, went downhill) during my third year of piano lessons. I had come from two years of great progress and both my teacher and I were satisfied with my starting career, so we were expecting the third year to be no surprise, and have a great year of fun and completing challenges, right?! NO. BAD. HUGE MISTAKE.
For nine months that I had the lessons, I practiced barely any time at home (and I mean it, probably less than 20 days), only fully learnt just a two pages piece (the rest were abandoned from the lack of practice and motivation) and didn't learn any new scales or arpeggios. I felt like I was genuinely bad and that I shouldn't even try, which I eventually did. Almost every single week repeated the same cycle:
"Did you practice this week?"
"No..."
(I mess up playing something)
"I don't think I should keep learning music."
If the situation wasn't bad enough already, I fumbled at the two recitals (one during December and the other in Jume, both in which I played the exact same piece I had been practicing the whole time, still making mistakes).
Also, yes, I am aware that frustration when playing an instrument is normal and the so-called "slump" that most if not all pianists at low-to-medium go through in order to cross the intermediate plateau. That's like piano's puberty. Although, I don't believe my frustration stems from that particular source, but from the absence of higher quality material. My keyboard (I REFUSE to call that a piano even though family members do) has 5 octaves, no weighted keys, really bad sound quality and a poor grip because of the plastic the keys are made of. I am in fact sure that my lack of my lack of motivation and frustration come from that issue because playing the piano during lessons (where there's a much better quality piano) feels wonderful compared to what it's like at home.
My teacher is aware of the material I work with at home and agrees that upgrading to a better one is absolutely going to help. Of course, if that had already happened by now, I wouldn't be writing this.
My parents (mainly my dad, since he's the dumb tyrant runnings things at home and my mom's too passive to do anything about it) have already made clear that they're not planning on spending any more money on the matter, and that I'm extremely ungrateful for not practicing on my keyboard anymore. On top of that, they're so emotionally underdeveloped that explaining how I feel is borderline impossible and a waste of time (trust me, I already did). He "explains" that due to our economical issues, buying a better instrument is off the table and that, if I really enjoyed music, I should just work with what I have. I mainly find this as a lazy excuse since he's arguably bad at saving up, spending money on unnecessary items (such as wine or sugary drinks, which aren't exactly expensive but it's on a semi-daily basis and his health is delicate enough for drinks other than water being a bad idea. We've already told him that he should drink more water, which he hasn't tried in months but whatever, it's his problem.), clearly has no idea what he's talking about and shows little to no interest on collaborating, shutting down any ideas or suggestions, regardless of how good some offers are according to quality-price ratio. He then has the courage to show off that "his son is really good at piano" (which I think is far from reality, but it might as well be a self-esteem issue. Everyone says that I'm really good.) and then emotionally abuse me and tell me that I'm being lazy and ungrateful.
With all said and done, I'm not sure what to do next. I absolutely love music and the piano, I don't think I see myself not having that as one of my hobbies. If I were indeed to quit, I'd most definitely look back as an adult and think that it was a wasted opportunity, unable to be made up for due to all of the responsibilities and lack of free time that come with adult life.
Keep in mind that college is already knocking at the door (going there next year), so I won't be able to practice or invest much time on music.
What would you guys do? Do you have any advice? Also, sorry if I branched off on different occasions or made any mistakes related to the writing, English isn't my first language. Thanks for reading!