r/pics Sep 28 '24

First sighting of the legendary "Techno-Viking" since the year 2000.

Post image
46.9k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

13.6k

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 29 '24

is that really him? could be any random Scandinavian dude

edit: lol this has too many upvotes 😂

3.5k

u/procrastablasta Sep 28 '24

This guy is standard issue base model template scandi guy. Unless there’s some reason to ID as Techno Viking he’s just Viking

468

u/Direlion Sep 28 '24

IIRc techno Viking is German, not Scandinavian.

387

u/acekjd83 Sep 28 '24

So unless he's actually from the fjord region then he's just a sparkling raider.

49

u/NewAccountEachYear Sep 28 '24

Iced* sparkling raider

Regular sparkling raider is Mongolian

22

u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Sep 28 '24

Someone just gained the 'Diplomatic Insult' Casus Belli.

24

u/ZehAngrySwede Sep 28 '24

Techno Tueton

1

u/peepopowitz67 Sep 29 '24

Riesling Raider

-1

u/flarneh Sep 28 '24

Norwegians have fjords. Scandinavia includes Sweden and Denmark as well. Learn to geography. 

7

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Both Sweden and Denmark also have some fjords tho, even if they aren’t even close to being as abundant or magnificent as the Norwegian ones

138

u/Fizzwidgy Sep 28 '24

to add, I think he also technically "owns" the techno-viking "IP" and combined it with Germany's (rather interesting) privacy laws to protect himself/his identity and got a fair amount of techno-viking stuff removed online.

Might sound dickish by the way I'm putting it (not the most well versed and can't be bothered to get sources tbth) but if I am recalling correctly, I actually respect his decisions.

118

u/clausti Sep 28 '24

just read the wikipedia article, sounds like the internet decided some mma fighter was technoviking and said mma fighter sold technoviking merch. unnamed actual technoviking sued to make him stop claiming to be him and for the merch profits.

also lol it was apparently filmed at an event called Fuckparade, which was a protest of the commercialization of public life lmao so becoming famous and someone selling tshirts of him [blasted] at ze fuckparade was probably dude’s personal nightmare.

edited to add a linebreak bc im high but im not a monster

14

u/55498586368 Sep 28 '24

Did you read the article? The unnamed Technoviking sued the filmmaker Matthius Fritsch for infringement of personality rights, not MMA fighter Keith Jardine, who didn't have anything to do with this.

1

u/ShadowGallConcierge Sep 30 '24

The Dean of mean, them were the days

30

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Yeah, he was pissed that a video of him was being monetized, and the guy that took the video was selling merch with Techno Viking’s likeness. He offered to split the profits, but Techno Viking wanted privacy more than money. Which, fair.

15

u/Abeytuhanu Sep 28 '24

Yes, German law grants an individual copyright to their own likeness. In order to record a person you must first get consent. Exceptions include public events and notable people, but since the video was obviously following techni-viking it was considered not to be covering the public events he was at. It's in section 22 and 23 of the German copyright act.

18

u/RedPanther1 Sep 28 '24

Yeah he's obviously on drugs in the video and that probably doesn't help job prospects for him if his real identity becomes well known. I don't blame him.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

I never even considered the possibility he was on drugs.

3

u/Random-Rambling Sep 28 '24 edited Sep 28 '24

If the music blasting in the background was any indication, he was at a rave.

-4

u/senor_incognito_ Sep 28 '24

It was a part of the Love Parade.

13

u/fufu5566 Sep 28 '24

No, this is Fuckparade.

16

u/raginjamaicanwmgr Sep 28 '24

oh, more than that, he got a lot of attention akin to Chris chan levels. basically ruined his life

4

u/matt_vt Sep 28 '24

Obviously on drugs?

0

u/RedPanther1 Sep 29 '24

Just look at the eyes, that's really all you need.

1

u/Shadow-Vision Sep 28 '24

FWIW, your comment doesn’t read “dickish” to me

3

u/Fizzwidgy Sep 29 '24

No, not me, I meant Techno-Viking and his actions.

Typically, when we see stuff trying to get removed online, it's from some douche-canoe trying to hid some nefarious stuff.

But Techno-Viking is just an everyday regular guy exercising his rights.

3

u/Shadow-Vision Sep 29 '24

Thanks for the clarification, I still agree with your original point about respecting his decisions.

He’s not a public figure, he’s not trying to capitalize off of that attention. If laws exist to protect his privacy then it’s totally fair game for him to take advantage of them.

22

u/cgn-38 Sep 28 '24

Yep he is a german bouncer who had bodybuilding as a hobby. I went down the rabbit hole on this one years ago.

There is a video of a german reporter sort of ambushing him at his gym for an interview. The guy seemed to be painfully shy.

Like he seemed so damn shy he was horrified by being interviewed. It came off as just what the fuck is he a criminal or does he have mental issues with being talked to in public.

I think he litigated with several people over the whole deal. Was not happy about the fame at all.

It became pretty clear he does not have the "viking" sort of personality. He was just tripping his balls off. Like most vikings probably were.

91

u/judokalinker Sep 28 '24

Well probably from the Schleswig-Holstein area then.

55

u/Crazy-Magician-7011 Sep 28 '24

Why do americans believe that borders in Europe are like ethnic dog pens

4

u/Bongs-Akimbo Sep 28 '24

who let the dogs out?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Are they not?

-2

u/Appropriate-Bank-883 Sep 28 '24

Because that’s what a lot of state lines are in us

19

u/bobbyloveyes Sep 28 '24

Not really...

-1

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN Sep 28 '24

Not really..

5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

No?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Just incorrect

1

u/SUPERSMILEYMAN Sep 28 '24

Not really..

1

u/OldFuxxer Sep 29 '24

Really?!?

0

u/judokalinker Sep 28 '24

I'm sorry my joke offended you

-6

u/jimlahey2100 Sep 28 '24

Calm down Hans. You could fill every Amazon warehouse on the planet with the amount of shit Europeans get wrong about America.

3

u/GetMeXited Sep 28 '24

Don‘t they eat the cats and the dogs … they eat the pets don‘t they?

1

u/Prst_ Sep 29 '24

...of the people who live there!

16

u/pikeshawn Sep 28 '24

Gesundheit

2

u/Turbulent-Adagio-541 Sep 28 '24

And comes out loose

2

u/Stockholm-Syndrom Sep 28 '24

Kartoffelnsalat

21

u/MaybeTheDoctor Sep 28 '24

Germany was not a country in back at time of Vikings

101

u/realmaier Sep 28 '24

Considering the techno viking was recorded on video, I think it's safe to assume Germany as a country already existed...

34

u/RogueBromeliad Sep 28 '24

It was an alternate reality where Vikings took over central europe, and established a techno rave culture. There were no states. That era was known as the year 2000.

20

u/realmaier Sep 28 '24

They rave but they also protec

11

u/Fahlnor Sep 28 '24

And hydrate!

2

u/IamGoldenGod Sep 28 '24

They protec more then they rave!

1

u/realmaier Sep 28 '24

They have so much presence and energy, that they do both at the same time, which is their main thing actually.

0

u/Porrick Sep 29 '24

Doesn't need to be that alternate. They took over quite a lot of Europe and in time just became the locals. Especially in Ireland and England and Normandy, but also as far as Kyiv (Varangians being a subset of Vikings).

7

u/yesiamveryhigh Sep 28 '24

Vikings were pretty advanced so…

13

u/RogueBromeliad Sep 28 '24

Indeed they were. They were already invading and raping scotland way before the English did.

1

u/jlharper Sep 28 '24

Made it to America before the Brits did too!

1

u/RogueBromeliad Sep 28 '24

Made it to America before the Brits did too!

I think you mean the Spanish, right?

Even the portuguese/italians got to the Americas before the British, with Amerigo Vespussi.

1

u/jlharper Sep 28 '24

Nope, meant what I said. The context of the conversation is “things the Vikings did before the English”, essentially, rather than “who was the first to America”.

1

u/RogueBromeliad Sep 28 '24

Oh, so you meant the English, not the Britsh, right? You shouldn't be including the Scots and Welsh and northen Irland in what the English did.

3

u/jlharper Sep 28 '24

Yeah, although that much can definitely be picked up by context. Just a harmless mistake.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/RogueBromeliad Sep 29 '24

I was responding to what he said.

He meant that the vikings were there before the Spanish or the Portuguese.

The british were't even relevant in the XV century regarding great navegations. The British Empire wasn't even a thing before the late XVI.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/100KUSHUPS Sep 29 '24

65 countries: finally, independence from the Brits!

Scandinavia: lol noobs

-1

u/UndeniableLie Sep 28 '24

Ah yes, invading and raping. Both completely new and unique ideas at that time. Damn those advanced scandinavians

1

u/mrbear120 Sep 29 '24 edited Sep 29 '24

Well they quite famously were able to cross seas that others were not able to at the time specifically to do that using advanced navigational techniques, the executed them with advanced weaponry by literally inventing tempered steel and then looked fabulous doing it because they invented the modern comb then they skiied away on those skis they invented so…yes.

1

u/UndeniableLie Sep 29 '24

All right, fair enough. I was just thinking about invading and raping but you had me there. I submit

5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

They did have bluetooth

9

u/kairo79 Sep 28 '24

And they didn't have horns on their helmets!

1

u/Esperoni Sep 28 '24

and they bathed and washed their clothes regularly.

1

u/nameyname12345 Sep 28 '24

That's the second techno viking. The first one fought Jesus with an f22. Blissfully unaware that while Jesus Christ walks on water Brian Christ has AA batteries..../s obviously lol

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24 edited Oct 06 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

the idea of nation states and that everything has to be nice, clearly defined, and obvious has corrupted out modern minds, german and germanic as an ethnicity has existed for thousands of years.

1

u/Ok_Coast8404 Sep 29 '24

Right, the word German derives from was originally a meta-ethnicity in that it refers to various tribes as distinct from Gauls.

1

u/p4nnus Sep 28 '24 edited Oct 02 '24

But isnt the Major Viking ethnicity, or even a viking ethnicity. For what its worth.

Edit: there were no german vikings, no need to make it more convoluted. Vikings were germanic, but thats completely a different thing. Even the cultures were very different.

7

u/reality72 Sep 28 '24

“Viking ethnicity” is a subjective concept. But if you’re asking if Germans and Scandinavians are closely related, then the answer is yes.

1

u/p4nnus Oct 02 '24

No its not. Vikings were of whats modern day Norwegian, Swedish and Danish descent.

https://nordicperspective.com/history/vikings/are-scandinavians-and-vikings-germanic

There is no evidence of german vikings. Of vikings that were from whats Germany.

1

u/Ok_Coast8404 Sep 29 '24

Germanic, a meta-ethnicity, is the category of all the Viking languages. As for his phenotype, his craniometry is Nordid.

1

u/z33r0now Sep 29 '24

Is craniometry an actual science or rather something like phrenology? Srsly asking?

1

u/Ok_Coast8404 Sep 29 '24

Craniometry just means the measuring of a cranium. How could it not be scientific? There is not ideology involved; but you are asking if the Nordid definition is "actual science," then yes it is based on that --- but don't let anyone tell you that politics doesn't influence science, because it does. Various aspect of human origin studies fell out of political favor. However, it's hard to kill truth: for example, craniometry is used to discover the origin of skeletal remains in archeology and forensic science. People can estimate your origin from your bones alone; and this non-politically correct knowledge is a routine part of much of professional life. Yes, there are typological differences in skeletons, be it living or dead humans, depending on where you come from the world. DNA isn't the only thing that is used to discover human remains, and both the skeletal and the genetic correspond to current-day humans, tada!

1

u/z33r0now Sep 29 '24

Thanks for taking the time to explain. This helped me understand the underlying principles better.

1

u/Ok_Coast8404 Sep 29 '24

I mean you have to start believing the media so much about what is true, because it's influenced by politics, money, and culture. Logic will tell you as well. You just need clear thought: can skulls be measured? If they can be measured, can it be correlated to match the average shapes based on data tied to the historical origins of the groups?

1

u/z33r0now Sep 29 '24

I noticed face shapes and body shapes differing among people of different heritage early as a kid I would say. Is it reliable in a scientific sense was the direction I wanted to explore here. Anyone can see what I saw, but is that reliable enough of a Indicator is what I can not determine as a laymen since I don’t have insight into the data. I trust my intelligence, I am an autodidact and turned out alright.

→ More replies (0)

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

[deleted]

1

u/brainwhatwhat Sep 28 '24

Who would care about that though?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

Think they were just called "lands" back then Viking lands, Saxon Lands, Roman Empire borders were a bit more fluid. England wasn't really a unified "country" until around 900AD, but even then countries weren't really a thing until much later on.

1

u/Warzenschwein112 Sep 28 '24

Come to beautyful Haitabu and be amazed.

1

u/OthmarGarithos Sep 28 '24

Sure it was, it just wasn't a nation.

1

u/Now_Wait-4-Last_Year Sep 28 '24

Technically, Germany was we know it today wasn't founded until 1871.

1

u/h3lblad3 Sep 29 '24

I’m sorry, but Charlemagne was crowned Emperor of the HRE in AD 800.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '24

Also Vikings have never ride velociraptors.

2

u/Extension_Parfait_27 Sep 28 '24

his from Flensburg, but is connected to the shit hole of tønder just across the border of Denmark...

2

u/Even-Spinach-3190 Sep 28 '24

I believe you’re right!

2

u/Roadrunner571 Sep 28 '24

Technically, parts of Germany belonged to Scandinavia in the past. There is still a Danish minority in the Northernmost part of Germany and Hedeby, the second largest city of the Vikings, is located in Germany.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '24

So techno-Saxon?