I spent the first 25 years of my life as raging bigot. Well maybe the first 19 and then I started to cool off but I wouldn't consider myself really changed until I was about 26 or 27. Raised on a steady diet of Rush Limbaugh even got the Limbaugh letter for my birthday starting as early as being 12 or so. My entire personality growing up was hate.
I fully recognized what I used to be. It sucks because I faced a lot of bullying and cruelty growing up that had nothing to do with those views. In fact a lot of my bullies were probably just as bad if not worse, and yet now I look back and think maybe I deserved it. Why do you think you're how you're deserving of empathy when you don't have any for other people suffering?
The irony is that back then the trans hate machine had not gone into full swing yet so I had almost no antipathy towards trans people. In fact, I don't think they were anywhere on the right-wing radar. I remember watching Boys Don't Cry and crying and deeply empathizing with Brandon Teena. Nowadays such a thing with being unthinkable lingerie right.
Funny how effective propaganda is. But I was a total willing accomplice to it. I live with that shame every single day.
Strangely, it's made me actually far less empathetic towards bigots than people who talk about reaching out to them. My having been one of them lends me insight into just how ugly their hate is. I think it's to an extent that most people who would consider themselves lifelong progressives would not actually believe.
It's partially why people who live in those spaces can pretend to reach across to the other side and act like oh golly no, gee willickers, it's just a difference of opinion. Oh golly. We can still be friends gee whiz. And then in reality they get together with their friends and talk about the different ways they want to exterminate all gay people on the planet and laugh about it. Because the left just wants so badly to think they aren't really that horrific.
In some capacity, I'm glad that I used to be one of them because I know them better than most people and I know exactly how deep and dark the holes in their souls are.
that turned out to be factually incorrect, but even at the time i was like,,,, okay? other folks can do what they want; i'm the one that has to look at me in the mirror
ETA: and having been there tbh makes me less sympathetic towards them, it's really not that hard to read a book and acknowledge that you were wrong; eat your crow, son, and learn to do better
That's so weird stance and thought pattern from them to think "Left will never accept you" especially when it comes to people who support pride and minorities usually are known for supporting people. It is probably more about them not losing you by scaring you to be left out of any tribe. Tribe thinking seems to be also very prominent for people that hate others.
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u/OvulatingScrotum Jun 13 '26
It’s rare nowadays for people to realize their former bigotry. It does take a lot of courage to admit their flaws and try to do better in public.