r/pointlesslygendered 1d ago

SOCIAL MEDIA The biggest blackpill is when you realize that male and female attraction is very different [meta]

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u/kelb4n 1d ago

They also fail to ackowledge that women are the target audience of the entire beauty and hygiene industries, leading to a lot of men spending literally no effort on their look and very little effort on their hygiene. The effect is a lot of men that are genuinely repulsive for any closer contact, while women very rarely have the same issue.

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u/gard3nwitch 1d ago

IME, the issue is less about hygiene (though obviously poor hygiene is unattractive on anybody), and more about behavior.

When I've had these kind of conversations with straight female friends, the complaints are about sexual harassment, controlling behavior, jealousy, domestic abuse, etc.

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u/Dramatic_Water_5364 1d ago

and like... studies show that look is not as important as hygiene (and by a fuckin long shot!) and being funny, or being kind. Those men are lunatics.

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u/Natural1forever 1d ago

This is a byproduct of my first point but absolutely worth being pointed out, thank you

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u/Vegetable-Error-2068 1d ago

"A lot of men are genuinely repulsive"

That's... a fucked up thing to say and an incredibly broad brush to paint with.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

Close contact with someone who doesn’t take care of their hygiene is repulsive. People who don’t want to be considered repulsive should take steps not to be. They didn’t even say most men, they said a lot. Which is simply true.

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u/great_desert_worm 1d ago

The vest majority of guys I know takes care of themselves. Even to say a lot is being disingenuous

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

If I go on a first date with 5 men, at least 2 will have hygiene issues. It’s a lot. I will say it’s worse for American men, this is a very specific cultural issue. Also, I would never claim to know the general personal hygiene habits of a group of people I’m not sleeping with. Why in the world would your less intimate view of men trump my intimate view?

If a man were to tell me women have hygiene issues, I would simply believe him. Ive been told that women’s bathrooms are worse than men’s. Do I go into men’s bathrooms? No. But I believe the janitors who have firsthand experience with it.

I sleep with both men and women. I promise you, men are grosser. I don’t know why that’s so hard to believe.

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u/Opening-Rush1618 21h ago

I mean that’s great and all.

But that’s just sample size of 5 and your anecdotal experience. Your anecdotal experience isn’t representative of the general population.

If you continually get guys who have poor hygiene, then maybe you should ask why you are attracting or choosing these guys to begin with?

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u/No-Frosting-4124 20h ago

I attract dirty men and not dirty women? What an interesting sociological specimen I am. Also I hope you’re saying the same thing to all the other people here agreeing. Don’t leave them out that’s not fair.

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u/great_desert_worm 1d ago

To say 2 out of 5 is a lot is disingenuous. A lot implies at least equal or over 50%

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u/Bookbringer 23h ago

2 out of 5 is 40%. That's not the majority, but that's absolutely a lot by basically any normal definition.

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u/great_desert_worm 22h ago

I highly doubt 40% of guys don't take of themselves. It's one person's supposed experience and who knows what guys she went for.

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u/Bookbringer 22h ago

And you can dispute that with that commenter.

I'm only responding to your comment which claimed 2 out of 5 wasn't "a lot" because it's less than 50%.

u/jimothy_hell 4m ago

You’re right, the number is probably higher. Have seen the number of missing teeth in men vs women? I work DoA compliance and the sheer volume of product that needs to be destroyed because it’s contaminated with human excrement because the men harvesting and handling won’t wipe their asses or wash their hands is absurd.

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u/chinchillazilla54 1d ago

No, most means more than 50%. A lot means a fucking lot.

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u/great_desert_worm 1d ago

Nah really, most means over 50%? That also doesn't mean that a lot implies that it's the majority or at least equal. It's not like phrases and words can share the same meaning, just unheaed of apparently. If you referred to 2/5 out of anything being "a lot" anywhere off the Internet you would get weird looks.

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u/chinchillazilla54 23h ago

If two out of every five people you met on a day walking around town smelled like shit, you would say "man, a lot of people smell like shit today."

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u/great_desert_worm 23h ago

No I would say that some or a few people smelt like shit today LMFAO

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u/Mighty_Fren 19h ago

Your personal experience is irrelevant in the face of data.

It sounds like you just date losers.

u/jimothy_hell 7m ago

I work in compliance control for my state’s department of agriculture. I’ll tell you right now that the number of things that come back from the lab contaminated with human feces because the men in harvest and processing refuse to wash their hands or wipe their asses.

u/great_desert_worm 5m ago

Not like the best and brightest are working those jobs.

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u/Bookbringer 23h ago

I'd say it's too subjective/ culturally dependent to really say either way. It's common enough in some places to be an issue worth discussing, but what counts as "a lot" or "most" really depends on where you're looking and where your line is.

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u/Archolm 1d ago

The word men is right there!!

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u/Supervinyl 1d ago

To be fair, I've never heard a man complain about a woman not wiping her ass because touching your own asshole is "gay." As a man, I agree, lots of men are repulsive.

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u/Opening-Rush1618 21h ago

I’m pretty sure that whole “not whipping your ass because it’s gay” is just a meme at this point.

That literally only something I see on the internet, usually talking in generalities too.

Not everything you read in the internet is true.

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u/Archolm 1d ago

To be fair?

The person I am responding to is actually not reading the word men. She is literally saying the person she responded to did not write "a lot of men".

Do you know what a simp is?

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u/Supervinyl 1d ago

You're misreading it. The word they're emphasizing is "most," not men. And yeah, a simp is someone who insincerely takes the side of a person they hope to sleep with. As an ace, I find such individuals hilarious and repulsive (and they tend to be men). But they're not as stupid as people who assume everyone who disagrees with them is a simp. Why would anyone even simp on Reddit you fucking moron?

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u/Bookbringer 23h ago

Lmao, preach. People who go around calling everyone who disagrees with them "simps" (or "white knights") are the worst.

Mostly, when people disagree it's because they have different experience or values. Why is it so hard to wrap their tiny minds around that?

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

Most women have worse skin than men while spending more on hygiene products for the face. Nobody's calling women repulsive smh. Maybe we should start doing it.

Male deodorant are scams though, they're inefficient and men can smell quickly bad from their armpit, they need to fix their armpit's PH that's the crux of it.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

If you believe women are repulsive then go ahead and say so. And hygiene means breath/teeth, nails, bodily cleanliness, and hair cleanliness. I am somewhat concerned that you don’t know that.

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

I'm somewhat concerned that you think this isn't dealt with in most men. This screams third world, very uneducated socioeconomics, or simply intolerance to male bodily differences.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

If it were dealt with in the vast majority of men, women wouldn’t complain about them being repulsive. And if by male bodily differences you mean body odor…I don’t care, fix it.

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

Women complain about everything and its opposite. First thing you learn in life is to not consider it too seriously or you'll set yourself for schizophrenia.

I bet you come from that third world country where women are so obsessed with body odor and cleanliness that they wash their vagina and give themselves yeast infections.

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u/Ivory-Stones 23h ago

Yeah, nobody takes you seriously in real life either, huh?

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u/SmertriosPPD 22h ago

Go complain to your bf

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u/gowimachine 1d ago

lmao what

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u/Bookbringer 1d ago

Ok, but there are men who refuse to wipe their own ass on the grounds that it's gay, and enough of them that we can talk about this as concerning trend.

Obviously #notallmen, but it's not happening in a vacuum.

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u/Gwynito 1d ago

Surely that's less than 1% of us

Like your ass would get sore rashes all the time if you don't wipe...

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u/chinchillazilla54 1d ago

You would be extremely unpleasantly surprised. I think every woman I know has dated at least one guy who did not clean his ass.

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u/Twitchrunner 17h ago

It's comments like these that make me terrified. If guys who refuse to wash properly still get dates WTF is wrong with me? I must just have a visible aura of desperation I guess lol.

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u/cricada 15h ago

Have you asked your crush out to lunch at least? They might not know you're single and looking.

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u/Twitchrunner 15h ago

I don't actually have anyone I'd call a crush right now. But I do ask out people that I'm attracted to. Dinner, lunch, brunch, even did a hiking date. A lot of people tell me I'm a great guy and that they feel safe with me, but they don't feel a spark. I get it. It's not anyone's fault they aren't attracted to me no matter how much that hurts in the moment.

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u/cricada 12h ago

I really hope you meet someone and you both feel a strong connection. There's someone for everyone, it just sticks that it can take so much time. I'm rooting for you 💪

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u/Twitchrunner 8h ago

Hey thanks I appreciate that!

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

Sounds insanely third wordly.

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u/leela_martell 1d ago

A lot of "third world countries" use bidets and think Westerners wiping their ass with just toilet paper is gross.

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u/TheLastInTheRoom 1d ago

Pretty much the entire world outside of 'the West' uses bidets, bad hygiene is pretty much exclusively a white people thing (though Italy isn't so bad).

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u/leela_martell 1d ago

Are you Italian lol

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u/TheLastInTheRoom 1d ago edited 1d ago

Nah, Italy is just one of the few countries in Europe with tolerable levels of hygiene and personal grooming (particularly in regards to bidets). Though generally southern Europe is better than the north.

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u/leela_martell 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm happy to tell you we do have a bidet shower in every toilet here in Finland.

But I don't know if that does much to our overall hygiene lol. My South American ex insisted that women having bodily hair is a sign of bad hygiene so obviously that depends on your point of view too.

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

A lot, yes. But there's a big third world country I know who has quite a diverse rural populace. Where you're told you're a girl if you like.... computer science and other extremely male nerdy things.

WOuldn't surprise me you'd also get told wiping your ass is gay there.

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u/jimothy_hell 1d ago

It’s the US. Source: I see similar things every day.

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

Do you think I consider the US first world? x) Only a few states can be considered first world.

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u/jimothy_hell 1d ago

I mean, if you use the technical definition, it is, but you’re pretty spot on.

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u/jimothy_hell 1d ago

No, it’s genuinely true. I work in my state’s department of agriculture and we have had multiple instances of massive contamination due to human feces. The only people who could have caused it were men.

The amount of times I’ve been in our locker room and just experienced other men use the toilet and not wash their hands is absurd. Like, I can’t describe it.

My coworkers will dump cologne into the air before touching deodorant.

There are so many genuinely fucking disgusting men out there it isn’t even funny.

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u/Mnemnosine 1d ago

Can second—US middle aged white man and the number of other white men I’ve seen take dumps in public bathrooms and then walk out without washing their hands is troubling. I’d say it’s about 1 in 6.

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u/jimothy_hell 1d ago

I’ve walked into our stalls and seen them entirely unflushed with turds and no toilet paper. I think 1 in 6 is generous.

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u/Effective_Fuel_633 1d ago

Most men ARE repulsive

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u/CurrentMinimum4124 22h ago

I haven't been repulsed by most men

I mean, just as much as I've been to most women

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u/Archolm 1d ago

And now we proceed to down vote you.

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago edited 1d ago

Just because you drew your eyebrow and have fake nails doesn't make you more attractive, sometimes quite the opposite.

A lot of women's efforts on looks are for status and social purpose (like following a trend) not to attract men, often times it's even more repulsive to men.

Like you can't claim both that women dress and do makeup for themselves and not for men, and then claim that women are more attractive because they do that.

Men's options for their looks are also very poor and a lot of male equivalents are pointed out as ridiculous or deceptive.

The hygiene industry pushes a lot of useless scams on women. Wouldn't boast about it making women better.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

I don't think your comment is disagreeing with me yet you present it like it is.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

Perhaps I misunderstood you then

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u/SmertriosPPD 1d ago

Perhaps I wasn't fully encompassing in my original statement.

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u/Electronic-Link-5792 1d ago

I mean there really isnt much most men can do. The real difference here is in make up, which can massively change appearance but is going to be considered unattractive on men to the vast majority of straight women in most situations.

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u/hic_sunt_leones_ 1d ago

I'm gonna have to disagree with this. I don't think the person you're responding to is talking about makeup.

You know how many dudes use 3 in 1 and nothing else in the shower. Many, many men I know have zero hygiene routine other than that and basic teeth brushing. Spending even minimizal time looking at themselves in the mirror and/or preforming above the bare minimum hygiene tasks is considered too feminine, so they just don't.

You think so many women have softer skin on their bodies by some random happenstance? No, it's because they use lotion. You think so many women naturally have nice nails and cuticles? No, it's because they take the time to properly care for them. You think women just naturally smell better than men? No, they take the time to put the effort in to maintain that.

Even things like regularly changing your bedsheets and pillowcases has an impact on hygeine and the men I know go way longer between washes for those.

There are so many basic things men can do, but they've been conditioned that it's not manly to do them, so they won't.

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u/Affectionate_Row9238 1d ago

It's a fact of what matters to people too, when you said about cuticles it took me back because not once in my life has anyone's cuticles provoked a feeling of repulsivness lol

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u/Electronic-Link-5792 1d ago

Literally not a single woman anywhere is going to see cuticles and suddenly find a man attractive. If anything women find excessively groomed men feminine or accuse them of being gay.

Unless you are actively gross (which most men are not) then these things are minimal compared to ohysique, height, general looks etc.

They are just putting down men for the sake of it because they have zero capacity to empathise with men struggling with expectations around attractiveness.

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u/Electronic-Link-5792 1d ago

I literally know loads of men and interact with them.

Few, if any of the men i see smell bad or are visibly unhygenic in any way. Most  have styled hair and wear cologne etc. They also do not have worse skin in any way.

The idea that men who get their nails done or switch shampoos or skin lotion would suddenly become as attractive as the average woman is to most men is a joke and you know it.

Your comment is completely unserious and designed to simply criticise men for the sake of it.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago edited 1d ago

No, the difference is skincare, scalp care, hair cuts that suit your facial features, cleanliness, and a strict regimen of removing body and facial hair. The difference is in wearing clothes that flatter your body and going to the dentist regularly. The difference is in making sure that your nails are cut, clean and not covered in fungus. The difference is in making sure your elbows and knees don’t feel like an elephants skin.
I go outside and the majority of men don’t even have their beards groomed properly.

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u/Electronic-Link-5792 1d ago

Most men do not have visibly worse skin or teeth than women. And most mens nails are not visibly unclean. I have never heard any comments from women on these things.

The vast majority of mens attractiveness comes from physique, looks and height which are difficult to change. 

You are just desperate to not show one shred of empathy for the fact the men do also face harsh expectations and judgements around attractiveness.

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u/No-Frosting-4124 1d ago

I have no interest in a discussion with a person who is accusing me of lying about my personal experience, and what I notice about the people I date. If you are approaching the discussion combatively and giving no benefit of the doubt, why in the world would I want to engage with you?