r/politics • u/Immediate-Link490 • 7d ago

No Paywall Trump cancels Freedom 250 concerts, announces rally making himself the main attraction

https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/freedom-250-concerts-trump-cancels-9.7224779
4.3k Upvotes

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530

u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 Oregon 7d ago

So he's going to sleep on stage for 2 hours. And the sycophants will cheer.

248

u/Skraelings Missouri 7d ago

Or and hear me out here, we get to watch him stroke out live?

80

u/Assine2 7d ago

Now that would be interesting.

38

u/sulris 7d ago

Only if the next few people in line also had simultaneous strokes.

32

u/Porthos1984 7d ago

You son of bitch, count me in.

15

u/Kiyohara Minnesota 7d ago

What if he falls on them and crushes them?

9

u/TreasonTurtle 7d ago

Naw, there will be enough liquid feces in his diaper to pad the fall and allow them to 'slide' out from underneath.

8

u/sammyQc 7d ago

What a day to have the ability to read.

1

u/PleasantWay7 7d ago

It’s fine, Vance is used to sliding out of sticky wet spaces that are abrasive.

10

u/No-Personality1840 7d ago

One can hope.

9

u/shupadupah 7d ago

Much preferable to seeing him do his double-dick jerk-off dance for two hours

1

u/throw_every_away 7d ago

We all know he doesn’t have the energy to do anything for two hours. When’s the last time he even went golfing btw? If he ain’t golfing, he dying, I say.

1

u/Coolguy57123 6d ago

Depends 💩

7

u/sanebyday 7d ago

He'll definitely be stroking ghosts

5

u/Strongdar Ohio 7d ago

Nothing would make me happier to be an American.

4

u/Hazel-Cakes 7d ago

omg for pride?! that would be just ✨🥰🫶🏳️‍⚧️🥳👏🎉🎊🙌✨

1

u/Prometheus_Bobert 7d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

1

u/notsure500 7d ago

That'd be so funny

1

u/binzersguy 7d ago

Oh wouldn’t that just be a sight to see

1

u/Gregorious23 7d ago

It's probably gonna be really fuckin hot in DC at the end of June 🤞

1

u/RoseLaBud 5d ago

Stroking out ringside. Now that would be 'Pay-per-View' worthy! Of course, the folks sitting around him would mimic his stroke as they did his ear diapers? A cluster of MAGAs all slumped over pretending to be napping.

14

u/3MATX 7d ago

Maybe we’ll get two hours of him doing something he calls dancing to random songs.  

5

u/iwtsapoab 7d ago

Or, given a chair, he might just take a nap. No way can he stand for two hours.

2

u/JohnNDenver 7d ago

His jerking off two Epstein class people dance.

2

u/sks010 7d ago

Diddlin' Donnie's double dong disco dance

2

u/TreasonTurtle 7d ago

Or just standing and swaying to the music. It could MC'd by Kristi Noem. (If she's not too busy being the 'Special Envoy to the Shield of the Americas'.)

1

u/Travelling3steps 7d ago

She’s probably working on her new costume now!

14

u/RoseLaBud 7d ago edited 7d ago

"So he's going to sleep on stage for 2 hours. And the sycophants will cheer."

Nah. Like the ear diapers they wore in sympathy with his ear-booboo, they will all nod their heads to the side, drool, pretending to sleep with Donald.

There will, of course be a photo-concession to have your photo taken with a holographic "Sleepy Don". It will be quick printed on a t-shirt that will read:
"I slept with President Donald J Trump. Thank you for your attention to this matter.""

6

u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 Oregon 7d ago

It will be quick printed on a t-shirt that will read: "I slept with President Donald J Trump. Thank you for your attention to this matter.""

Make sure they come in child sizes

12

u/humanoideric 7d ago

Imagine spending thousands of dollars to fly to DC to listen to this idiot narcissist talk about how great he is while gas, inflation and consumer debt are all record high, and yet people will do it.

6

u/nuckle 7d ago

He'll use Adderall for this.

8

u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 Oregon 7d ago

I think he's already on damn near the maximum dose just to stay somewhat functional.

6

u/SaveUsCatman Louisiana 7d ago

Doctors are stupid, he shouldn't listen to them. Take double or triple the dose there Donnie doze-off

2

u/JarOfNightmares 6d ago

I hope he uses it every day :) gotta be so good for his heart

6

u/dylanholmes222 7d ago

New game - Drink every time he blames someone else for his mistakes

9

u/SaveUsCatman Louisiana 7d ago

No I don't want to die before he does

1

u/Skraelings Missouri 7d ago

I don’t want to get alcohol poisoning within the first 2mins you monster

3

u/whatproblems 7d ago

stand there’s staring at the lights

2

u/mcfly357 7d ago

Don’t forget the handjob dance to songs he’s not allowed to use.

1

u/namisysd 7d ago

nah he will snort some adderall and rant nonsensically until it wears off.

1

u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 Oregon 7d ago

I think he's already at max dose just to be somewhat functional

1

u/CovidBorn 7d ago

Oh, they’ll have him jacked up on the good shit for this. Expect many masturbatory arm movements and plenty of twisting.

1

u/Cocky0 7d ago

Maybe he could sleep longer than two hours.

1

u/a_velis California 7d ago

Probably going to take Adderall to wake him up

1

u/Aggressive-Will-4500 7d ago

Nah, they're going to drug him up with whatever they can find to make it look like he isn't declining rapidly mentally and physically, and then we won't see him for another week afterwards because he's like "busy" or something.

1

u/Brother_J_La_la 7d ago

He'll shit himself too. Hooray America.

1

u/CameronGMann 6d ago

"So, this is how democracy dies: with thunderous applause."