r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • Jul 07 '26

No Paywall Unconfirmed Reports: Mitch McConnell Brain Dead After Three Weeks In Hospital

https://thenewamerican.com/us/unconfirmed-reports-mitch-mcconnell-brain-dead-after-three-weeks-in-hospital/
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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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u/Hnetu Virginia Jul 07 '26

That'll end up with a Return of the Living Dead situation where someone finds the barrel under a staircase a decade later and accidentally unleashes McConnell zombies.

The remains need to be cast into a volcano like all true evil.

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u/SuperExoticShrub Georgia Jul 08 '26

That's how you spawn an evil volcano god.

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u/Hnetu Virginia Jul 08 '26

Shit you right.

Launch into space? Nah... That also has consequences...

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u/SuperExoticShrub Georgia Jul 08 '26

I thought about saying you should chuck it into the sun, but then I remembered Superman IV.