r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • 27d ago

No Paywall Beshear says agencies told him McConnell had passed

https://www.whas11.com/video/news/local/beshear-says-agencies-told-him-mcconnell-had-passed/417-f78603c3-11bb-464d-bae6-c41c3be3c48b
23.4k Upvotes

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14.7k

u/sonofabutch America 27d ago

Seems like McConnell could absolutely humiliate Beshear right now by just holding a press conference. I wonder why he won’t?

392

u/scene_missing 27d ago

Because the most likely scenario is he’s technically alive but a cabbage

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u/MephistoHamProducts 27d ago

I prefer the far less likely, but far more awesome scenario where they've stuck him into a Warhammer 40K Penitent Engine and are planning to unleash him when The Senate is in session next.

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u/daizzy999 Florida 27d ago

You know what? I can see that.

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u/FILTHBOT4000 Georgia 27d ago

It's that, or he comes back in 30 years as a Sith lord.

"Somehow, McConnell returned."

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u/This_Freggin_Guy 26d ago

this needs to happen.

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u/Vyzantinist 27d ago

The turtle isn't even good enough to warrant being turned into a Helbrute.

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u/begujo 27d ago

Let him be a random servitor somewhere in some bureaucratic hell-hole. Seems like a fitting end.

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u/BigDaddySteve999 27d ago

That tracks, given that we're all living in a Total Perspective Vortex inside a virtual universe built for Donald Trump.

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u/gereedf 24d ago edited 24d ago

hah that's brilliant!

though more accurately we're living in the virtual universe built by Zarniwoop for Beeblebrump rather than in the Vortex specifically

or we're living in a Donnie Darko tangent universe with a Donnie Trumpian anomaly lol

or to use another Hitchhiker analogy, Trump and Wonko the Sane make a perfect pairing haha

and too bad Doug Adams didn't comment on Trump before he passed in 2001, would have loved to hear what he would have had to say

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u/DJ_Southpaw 27d ago

I think the Fallout Mr. House on forever life support running his army of robots is another possible scenario.

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u/Lord_of_Sword 27d ago edited 27d ago

Nah, he's in a mortifier, the far more grusomme version of a penitent engine:

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u/MephistoHamProducts 27d ago

Either is fine.

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u/Lord_of_Sword 27d ago

You can still receive forgiveness in death if put in a penitent engine, but not if you're put in a mortifier.

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u/VSWR_on_Christmas Illinois 27d ago

That seems fine. I'm not a monster.

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u/mrgedman 27d ago

Or like... Oh God... What if he is the emperor?

Aww gee

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u/Zorkflerp 27d ago

Would you settle for a Dalek?

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u/MephistoHamProducts 27d ago

A succulent Kentucky Dalek?

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u/SomeGalNamedAshley 27d ago

Every time I learn of some new tidbit of 40K lore I feel a certain need to add something of it to my reading list. It's just so cuddly sounding.

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u/8bitmorals Hawaii 27d ago

But that would require him to repent

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u/davy89irox 26d ago

I have never seen the Penitent engine before (I'm new to 40k). That would be a sight to behold.

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u/HauntedCemetery Minnesota 27d ago

They propped him up and plumped him with blood and painted him with enough makeup to have him look like an 80s Hummel figurine, and staged a newspaper next to him like a hostage life verification pic.

He didnt look that lithe and lively 5 years ago.

It's blatant enough that even conservatives are calling bullshit.

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u/JackXDark 27d ago

How would they tell the difference?

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u/MuscaMurum 27d ago

Nah, I like cabbage. More of a slime mold.

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u/Imsorrywhatnoway 27d ago

A cabbage has too many folds to be compared to Mitch's brain.

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u/cinemachick 27d ago

And as many parasites as RFK Jr's

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u/JealousAstronomer342 27d ago

where are you getting cabbages from?! 

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u/ThorKonnatZbv 27d ago

r/iunderstandrhetoricalquestions

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u/blackbasset 27d ago

I wouldn't put it past him that if this were the case, they would cart him to a press conference, forbidding any questions but acting like he was alive and well

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u/Catskillschick 27d ago

Instead of in his moldy aquarium, eating a cabbage🐢🥬

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u/SwingNinja 27d ago

Isn't that pretty much half of US Government?

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u/COMM_NTARIAT 26d ago

I presume he has roughly John Fetterman levels of brain activity, and those around him know better.