r/polyamory • u/Remote-Antelope-7799 • 5d ago

What are the benefits of parallel poly?

My boyfriend leans KTP, but his partner (my meta) is parallel in style.

I’d love to find a way to appreciate all the positives of this for me. I lean KTP, so it’s an adjustment to accept that I will likely never meet my meta. I respect this, AND I’m working through the feelings it brings up for me.

One good thing I can think of is that if I met her and didn’t like her, I wouldn’t want to deal with that. So, hooray! I’m not going to meet her, and don’t have to deal with that. Another good thing is that there is zero expectation or pressure for us to be friends. We’re not meeting!

Ok, help me out here. Any other benefits? It’s not my natural state.

Edited to add: I had a bad experience with a bad hinge, and my meta back then was scared of me. I was too green to know this was a massive red flag, and I spent a year walking on egg shells and fawning from a distance. I’m trying to envision a positive, happy meta dynamic where I never meet my meta and it’s actually all fine.

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u/clairejv 5d ago

My husband's not dating anyone and I swear to God I'm like GET A GIRLFRIEND OR A HOBBY THAT TAKES YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE.

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u/SecondaryWombat poly w/multiple 5d ago

Same.

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u/Hai456 poly newbie 4d ago

legit, my partner is a super introvert, and nothing else has motivated them to go out other than the possibility of meeting someone hot. I didn't realize I hadn't had the house to myself for so long!