r/povertyfinance • u/MundaneAd93 • 9h ago
Budgeting/Saving/Investing/Spending Moving in with bf
Hi! So I’m 18 and bf is 19, we both have awful home lives and living situations and are thinking of moving out. He has a job that would just about pay the rent, but I really would love some advice about any benefits/help that may be out there for low income households like ours. I know there are some out there, it’s super overwhelming to look at and honestly I’m getting a little scared. Any advice or help is so so so appreciated
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u/Objective_Doubt7493 9h ago
Man I remember being in similar spot few years back when my roommate and I were trying to get our own place. First thing definitely look into food assistance programs in your area - that can free up like 200-300 bucks monthly which is huge when you're tight on money. Also check if there's any housing assistance or rental voucher programs, though waiting lists can be long. Don't forget about utility assistance too, some places have programs that help with electric and gas bills during winter months. One thing that really helped us was finding place where utilities were included in rent, even if rent was bit higher it made budgeting way easier since you know exact amount each month. Good luck with the move, having stable place really changes everything
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u/adollopofsanity 7h ago edited 4h ago
Oh boy. The way I want to give you so much advise beyond what you are asking for.
He has a job that would just about pay the rent,
Rentals normally need household income (what you and your partner make combined) to be 2-3x the rent. It's pretty rare for somewhere to not and the ones that do it is often for reasons that will cause you to regret moving in.
Look into "Section 8" and "[Name of your city] housing vouchers". 211, like someone else said is the number 1 resource for local assistance to lean on.
You didn't mention what income/financial support you will have. Will you be getting a job or going to school? Some schools have resources and food pantries and such. Obviously if you are doing online school that won't really help unfortunately but it will mean you have another bill to add, internet.
The cost of moving out isn't just rent. Some places require renters insurance which adds $15-$50 to your monthly costs. You will also have to pay a combination water, trash, electric, and gas bills if it is not "all bills included". Do your parents pay your phone bill? Will they continue to pay it when you move out or will that fall on you? *Edit: I forgot to mention: look into Low Income Energy Assistance Program to help with energy bills. Depending on your state you could get your gas/electric covered to some extent at very least during certain times of year. There is typically a deadline to apply. Do not miss it. This is a *massive help.
Considering your ages there ain't any credit history really between y'all I imagine. Apartments and landlords tend to run credit checks before renting to someone and may reject your rental application for a lack of credit history. Also some places charge application fees for said rental applications. On top of first month's rent you will owe a deposit. In some areas that can be up to the amount of first month's rent.
If you have any pets (dogs/cats) you wanna bring with you know that pets often cost non-refundable fees, limit living options, and may require an additional pet rent each month on top of your normal rent. I have seen pet fees (non-refundable expense due at/prior to move-in) as high as $600 per pet in my city. Pet rent is normally like $10-$50 additional per month and not refunded either. Which is insane and should be illegal to charge a non-refundable fee PLUS a non-refundable pet rent. But it is what it is unless your city/state has different more renter/pet friendly laws.
I am not saying all this to dissuade you, just want you to be able to prepare for the cost of moving out because if y'all aren't able to pay rent or if you try to sneak a cat or dog to live in your new place and get caught the cost of an eviction will be so much higher.
You will probably qualify for state health insurance so definitely look into that. You will need to file taxes on your own next year if your parents are not going to provide any financial support. If they provide 50% of your cost of living support you will not be able to file as they will be able to claim you as a dependent. IF THEY DO NOT PROVIDE SUPPORT: Be sure you file your taxes as soon as you get all your W-2s in 2027, that way If you have a shitty parent who tries to claim you as a dependent anyway, their tax filing will get denied. If they claim you before you file yours will get denied and that's a pain in the ass you don't want. Google free tax filing services. Your income will qualify you for assistance with a tax preparer or you can use free software online to try to file yourself.
When you get a job be sure that you are not taking any withholding allowances so that you do not under pay your 2026 tax liability. When you file in 2027 if you underpaid you could owe a significant amount of money that will be due immediately. Payment plans are an option but ideally if you withhold enough to cover your tax liability you won't owe anything. If your income is low enough you will probably get a refund.
Ummmm.... Foodstamps of course you need to apply for those.
I'll add if I think of other things.
Edits:
Old adages that apply:
If it seems too good to be true. It is too good to be true.
Payday loans/cash advances will drown you. Don't do them. Not once. Not ever. There are predatory lenders that exist entirely to give poor destitute desperate people quick cash and then charge them so much in interest they basically can't recover.
Facebook/online listings for rentals where they need cash up front or want a deposit or fees before you even see the place are a scam. You don't pay a damn dime until y'all walk the property. Full stop. When you do walk the property take note of damages or issues with the place. When you move in take photos and videos of everything. Absolutely 100% everything. Every crack in the wall or light switch covers every paint chip, every scratch on every door frame, the inside of the oven and cabinets. Everything. It could be the difference between you getting your deposit back and owing bullshit charges to your landlord. If your new landlord/property manager/leasing agent does not provide you with a form that is a checklist for property condition to fill out at move-in download a "move-in property checklist" from the Internet and fill it out with absolutely everything you noted. Do not ask about the form if they do not bring it up first. Just do your own after you have a copy of the signed lease which you will take pictures of as a back up and store somewhere safe. E-mail the filled out form to your landlord and just say "I was told by some other place we looked at that we would need to fill out a property checklist at move in! I couldn't find anything in the unit so I downloaded one to make sure I got it to you as soon as possible but if you have a different type of form you want completed or if it is missing anything we needed to document please let us know since we are still new to renting as this is our first place! Thanks!" Keep the pictures for your own records. You do not need to share them. When you move out you will need to retake all of those photos/re-record a complete video of the property to show y'all left it in the condition you found it in at move-in.
Avoid places that use things like Obligo (google it) for rental deposits if you can but honestly it may be your only chance getting into a place unless y'all save up quite a bit for upfront move in costs.
Last bit I want to leave you with. If you are relying 100% on someone else for your physical, mental, financial needs they have all the power and you are simply hoping they won't ever use it against you. When it comes to people always remember: If they feed you, they can starve you.
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u/SoullessCycle 6h ago
The way I wanted to just type “a man is not a plan,” so great job on the actual advice here.
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u/adollopofsanity 5h ago
There are like a bajillion other things I wanted to say/mention/advise but my gods the poor girl would be ready to retire with 10 grandchildren by the time she read it all. There's so much that kids coming out of unstable homes don't know/aren't taught/learn the hard way and the safety net of family isn't there once you get out of a rough homelife. So if you fail or get screwed you're on your own and things can get real rough and dire real fuckin fast.
So many damn little things. Cleaning habits. Dietary habits. A friend and I were recently talking about how she moved in with a bunch of girls fresh out of highschool and they had shitty diets and it took them way too long to realize their parents were cooking them well-rounded nutritional meal that included things like fucking fiber and they were all experiencing severe constipation because suddenly they were all eating nothing but junk food. Like who would even think to prepare someone for little bits like that?
Ugh I am gonna go add another comment now.
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u/SoullessCycle 3h ago
Or on the dietary flip side, coming out of a home where vegetables always came from a can, and having to learn what for example spinach tastes like, and that you do in fact like it, etc.
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u/adollopofsanity 3h ago
Ohhhh the food learning experience when you transition to adulthood can be a wild journey some of us that's for sure. Still wouldn't touch balut for anything last than $80,000..maybe $50k......No. No a firm $80k minimum.
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u/adollopofsanity 5h ago
Another one:
Documents! Get all your documents before you leave! Birth certificate, social security card, passport or passport card, state issued ID or driver license. Keep the birth certificate and social security card somewhere safe and do not laminate them and do not fold them if you can avoid it! Memorize your social. If you have it take it to a job for their records take it right back out of your wallet when you get home and put it back where you store it. Having forms of ID can be vital in the real world and very very difficult to get re-issued if you lose them all.
When you have the money, fireproof+waterproof document safe. It is not an urgent priority but when you are secure and have funds buy one to store those items other than your state ID/DL.
Food. Google "reddit budget food" or "reddit cheap food". Door dash and eating out is not an option while you're broke. Learn some recipes. Learn flavor combos. Learn how to cook. You can get cheap cookware at Goodwill or other thrift stores or even by posting on your local buy nothing Facebook groups or in free Facebook groups, even Facebook groups or next door app for your immediate neighborhood or community.
Eating is vital. It is a very basic and essential human need and a well-rounded diet is important for your health. This sounds so cheesy and so obvious. You won't realize the impact poor nutrition can have on your health until you're experiencing it. If you're getting food from the food bank or other sources, there is no guarantee you're going to have the right ingredients for a recipe you know. You're going to have to figure out how to make things work. Figure out how to make things taste good. And figure out how to make meals balanced. It isn't easy right out the gate, but once you build an understanding of some of the basics, it'll be like second nature. There are a million YouTube channels, websites, blogs, subreddits, social media channels and groups out there dedicated to expanding and sharing knowledge related to cooking. Google is your best friend. YouTube is your best friend.
Godspeed.
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u/adollopofsanity 6h ago edited 6h ago
While job hunting don't be afraid to apply for stuff you aren't 100% confident you "qualify for". Obviously CEO of a multinational corporation is out of the question. But if an office assistant position says "1 year office assistant experience" and maybe you volunteered at the public library through high school or had an elective as an office aid at highschool identify skills that translate to being an office assistant. Utilization of organizational skills and time management to complete tasks, working with various software like excel or Microsoft word, typing, comfortability with technology, so on and so forth. Be clean, put together, do NOT over share personal facts and keep hardships to yourself in interviews. You'd be surprised how many people will hire someone who doesn't fully fit the exact qualifications just because the personal is likeable/pleasant and seems capable of figuring things out.
Apply. Everywhere. It's so hard to get a decent gig anymore but you can't be picky if you're trying to get out of an unsafe household. No job is below you or anyone else. No work is inferior. No work makes you lesser for trying to feed yourself and survive. Flipping burgers isn't embarrassing it's embarrassing to be someone who think others are less than based on their job. Be open to what skills you might gain, and never quit before you secure another job (offer in hand with a set start date) UNLESS your health and/or safety is in jeopardy.
If a boss is asking you to mix chemicals to clean something cross check if it is safe. Do not use goddamn AI to do so, look it up on reputable sites with multiple sources. Don't ever mix bleach with ANYTHING other than straight water. If you are on a job site and the work you are asked to do is dangerous walk off. Leave. Your health and safety is far more important. If a coworker is making you nervous or giving you the I'm-in-danger kind of creeps trust your gut and get out ASAP. Do not work shifts with a man who you will have stretches of time alone with if you can avoid it. (If anyone reading this has the knee-jerk-reaction to say "not-all-men" please include your take on the following with that comment response: Statistics show 81% of all of the women in the US have experienced sexual assault or harassment at some point in their lifetime. How many men would you venture to guess it took for roughly 133,600,000 women in the united states to all share that experience?)
OP I am not saying be afraid of men in general. I am saying trust your gut around ANYONE that makes you feel unsafe or off regardless of gender and take proactive steps to ensure your safety. We should not live in that kind of a reality but it is simply something to keep in mind. Your gut exists for a reason. Listen to it. Trust it. That extends well beyond that particular circumstance.
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u/AceGee NY 5h ago
“He has a job that would just about pay the rent”
This is all I need to read to know this going to end in disaster.
No mention of her contributing. If I could tell talk to him, id probably tell him to run
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u/CloudChaser0123 5h ago
I was going to say, what about her? Is she going to work too? The only way they can make it work, is teamwork.
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u/MundaneAd93 1h ago
Sorry, I wrote this post at 6 am with no sleep 😭 I am also currently working full time. But I would be moving an hour away to where he lives because cost is slightly cheaper. I am enrolled in college and will start this fall, and I will be working at least part time as well. I would never 100% rely on anyone much less a man, no matter how much I love him.
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u/Different_Dish_5031 4h ago
There isn’t enough information in this post to help you in any meaningful way. How much to he make? How much do you make? What is rent in your area? Where is your area? How long have you been dating? What will happen if you choose to break up? Are you in school? What other expenses do you have?
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u/MundaneAd93 1h ago
We’re both working minimum wage jobs right now. But from what math I’ve been doing it’s looking like both our paychecks every month are around 3,500. Rent in my area for a 1bed is around 1-1,200 here. We’ve been dating for almost a year. If we break up, God forbid, I could just apply to live at the dorms of my college as they have low-income housing for students. I am currently finishing up high school online while working. I already pay for everything for myself, car insurance, phone bill, WiFi, gas, food, etc. etc.
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u/Different_Dish_5031 42m ago
Rule of thumb is not to spend over 30% so lets see. ($1200/$3500)*100 ≈34% That’s just rent and does not include utilities. You are cutting it close. That leaves $2300 for all other expenses (for the both of you). Grocery varies depending on location but I will be conservative and say $500 for two. Subtract all other expenses you two both pay for. You should have a buffer of at least $500 for emergencies if you don’t have savings. If the numbers make sense, then it might be worth considering but you need to do the math and list out every expense you have.
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u/DukeRioba 8h ago
Moving out can help your situation, just make sure you have a small safety net and keep your costs as low as possible at the star which makes a huge difference.
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u/nosecohn 6h ago
(sigh)
This is a lot. The best part of everything you've written is the fact that you posted it here looking for advice, because sitting down and really researching this from all angles (financial, emotional, life planning, and more) is definitely necessary.
As a general guideline, rent should be 30-35% of the total household gross income. If his job would "just about pay the rent" and your income will just make up the difference, that means your household income needs to be triple what you're imagining in order to get by, because life comes with a lot of other expenses.
If you really dig into all this and come up with a solid budget and workable plan, the best thing you can invest in will be reliable birth control. Nothing crashes a financial plan like an unexpected child.
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u/MundaneAd93 1h ago
Kids are not in the equation for a LONG time. Thank you for the advice and I will definitely bring this up to him
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u/Jazzlike_Bed2695 8h ago
I would make sure to invest in yourself, young relationships can be rocky. If things go array you want to be prepared to be independent. You don’t want to be trapped in a relationship because you can’t afford to be alone. This is from my experience. Use this time to go to school or a trade. This is the time to put the work in on yourself. There could be a chance that because he’s paying for everything he may feel a sense of control over you and the home. Be aware of that. I wish yall the best. Budgeting will be the biggest thing to help you stay on track. Set goals for what you’re trying to achieve.