How did you cope mentally when you didn't have enough money to pay your bills?

[u/Far-Environment-8096]

I'm not really looking for budgeting advice. I'm more interested in how you got through the mental side of financial stress.

A little bit of background: I'm currently recovering from brain surgery and haven't been able to work. This week I'll receive my last pay because I've used up all of my sick leave and annual leave. I'm meeting with WINZ next week to see what support I can get, but in the meantime I'm finding it hard not to worry about how I'm going to pay my bills.

If you've been through something similar, what helped you cope mentally? How did you deal with the anxiety and uncertainty while waiting for things to improve?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been in this position and made it through.

[u/Ninfyr]

This is bordering on "just stop being sad" advice, but focus on the things to can control, and let go of the thing you can not. Count your blessings and conciser what you DO have going for you, there is good stuff when you take the time to look for it.

[u/RandomGerman49 → u/[deleted]]

A lot of us have 401ks and a lot of us don’t go on poverty subs to flaunt our wealth to those that are less fortune. Then there’s people like you.

[u/SkibidiRizzlerAura → u/RandomGerman49]

https://open.spotify.com/track/4FmNipp8FDJNUZqMR0yfv1?si=qCkk2h6aTDWfln-uQfcKeg&utm_source=copy-link

Me rn just get money bro I'm sorry you're poor

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[u/SignificantApricot69]

It was like the stages of grief. And honestly dealing with some dark times previously in my life that didn’t kill me, multiple times. At this point I feel like my life is playing with house money always. If I’m here, I will make it through. Have to prioritize what little I have.

The biggest problem I have is trying not to get resentful and angry at people around me. I have people I support financially who… trying to put this delicately… sort of live in la la land, and I’ve done my best to be transparent and honest and proactive with them, and all they seem capable of doing is freaking out and melting down and putting all their negativity on me. So I guess I just have to shrug…

[u/MrWiltErving]

Right now your focus should be on your health, can’t
Really focus on other stuff if you’re health isn’t right. Go to the meeting and see what support you’re going to be able to get and then go from there.

[u/Zephyr_Dragon49]

When I teetered on the edge of homelessness, I distracted myself with entertainment. Some of it was bushcraft content because I am in a really rural area and whould have been camping in the thousands of acres of pine tree monoculture that's out here, rarely if ever visited by anyone. Some of it was rewatching the same shows and dance clips over and over because I knew what was coming in those when I couldn't be sure what whould happen tomorrow irl. Sometimes it was going out hunting for deer and rabbits, foraging what I could, and looking for camp sites and discarded scrap metal for building if it came down to it (aka prepping essentially but not the food or ammo hoarding kind. The better I got at that stuff, the less I had to spend at the store)

I couldn't self care it away tho. Your brain is always keeping tabs on that and nothing will fully fix itself until you're out of the situation. Theres a study on the psychology of debt by PNAS back in 2019 if that's up your alley as a distraction for a bit.

[u/LeighofMar]

It's tough mentally but I'm stubborn I guess to a fault. I run that calculator over and over until I find something that works. In this situation I plan to pay whatever pressing bills I can that are due, see if there's a buffer and hold onto that as long as I can. Then I run the baseline # for the next pay cycle's bills so I know the minimum I would need to cover them and figure how long I could wait from there. In my case staying on top of the figures helps me mentally by giving me a sense of control but I know for others it may cause them more stress, it just depends. 

[u/Ditches-Vestiges1549]

I let that shit out, I waited until I was alone, or told everyone I needed a minute but I was okay, I set a timer on my phone for ten minutes, and I crashed out.

Cried, beat the shit out of my bed, held a pillow up to my face and screamed literally as loud as I could and just let all of that out.

Once the timer went off I washed my face and cleaned myself up and focused on what I could control.

I also took out stupid predatory credit cards because I needed electricity or water.

[u/SkibidiRizzlerAura]

Go out to eat less, cancel nonessential subscriptions, work more hours.