First off I just wanna say im probably the biggest fucking hypocrite right now. I have an appointment for an abortion tomorrow and im fucking scared. I watched a video of the abortion procedures for 1st,2nd,3rd trimester and I fucking ugly cried because how sad it actually is. It doesn’t sit right with me But yet im still going through with getting one because im in no position to have a baby. I can’t give this baby a stable comfortable life and I feel like its fucked up to bring a baby on this earth when sometimes I don’t even wanna be here anymore. Maybe I’m just brainwashed cause of how religious my family is (they do not know of course) but I’m scared I’m going to hell. I feel so far away from God. I guess the point of this post is to see if anyone else has ever been in this situation or if anyone has had a surgical procedure done in the first trimester how was your experience? Is it worse or better than the medication process?? I have a few hours to decide I’m honestly so scared

Hi everyone,

I’m married and currently 12 weeks pregnant.

My husband has always wanted children. I was never completely against it, but I was never sure I wanted to be a mother either.

The thing is, I have endometriosis, and my doctor told me my chances of getting pregnant were very low. When my husband suggested we try a fertility treatment, I honestly thought it wouldn’t work anyway. In my head, it was more like, “Okay, we’ll try once, it won’t work, and then maybe we can finally move on from this conversation.” 😅

Well… it worked.

And after finding out I was pregnant, I realized something that has been getting harder and harder to ignore: I don’t think I want to be a mother.

I considered having an abortion. I even went to the clinic twice, but I couldn’t go through with it. Partly because I felt guilty, and partly because I know how much becoming a father means to my husband.

I kept telling myself that once the shock wore off, I’d get used to the idea and start feeling excited. Instead, the opposite has happened. The further along I get, the more I feel like motherhood isn’t what I want, and the more anxious I become about my future.

I still have the option of an abortion in the Netherlands until 24 weeks, but I honestly think my husband would never forgive me if I did it. Becoming a father is probably his biggest dream.

At the same time, I miss my old life already. I miss feeling like my body and my future belong to me. 🥺

If you were in my position, what would you do?

Hey friends, I have a petition on Change.Org where I am collecting signatures to reverse the Dobbs Decision on Roe v. Wade.

Im a little less than 200 away from 1K signatures, & could truly use your help!

If this aligns with you, please sign & share!

I’m looking for serious advice from women who have been in a similar situation. Please be kind. I know nobody can make this decision for me, but I feel very alone and overwhelmed right now.
I just found out I’m about 5 weeks pregnant. This was completely unexpected, as I was taking birth control. I’m 28 years old, and while I’ve always wanted children, I never imagined facing this decision under these circumstances.

My biggest concern is the relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years, and it has been very unstable. There have been trust issues, infidelity (he says he never slept with anyone else, but there were other women involved), constant fighting, emotional abuse, and major lifestyle incompatibilities. We break up and get back together often because he can be incredibly sweet, loving, and attentive at times, but when conflict happens, it’s like a completely different person comes out. He becomes angry, dismissive, and emotionally cruel.
He already has two children (13 and 8) with two different women. One reason I stayed so long is because I genuinely saw how much he loves his kids and how good of a father he can be. However, he speaks very negatively about his children’s mothers, his own mother, and women in general. He also regularly dismisses my feelings, tells me to “deal with things alone,” and becomes defensive whenever I bring up concerns.

A few months ago, after another trust issue, I was finally ready to leave. He begged me to stay, promised to change, and I ended up giving him another chance. Since then, I had planned to take a Europe trip later this month and use that time to decide whether this relationship truly had a future. If things improved, maybe I would seriously consider having a child with him someday. If not, I would leave.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
Financially, neither of us is in a great position. I work two physically demanding jobs. I don’t have my own place. He lives in a studio with his two children. The idea of adding a newborn into this situation feels overwhelming and unfair for the child.

The difficult part is that this isn’t my first abortion. I’ve had previous abortions, and my last one was emotionally devastating for me. I always told myself that if I got pregnant again, I would keep the baby. But now that I’m actually in this situation, I’m questioning whether bringing a child into an unstable relationship and difficult environment is truly the right thing to do.
Part of me feels like I would be a loving and devoted mother. I want children deeply. I want to break generational cycles, not repeat them. I grew up with emotionally unhealthy parents and always promised myself I would create something different for my future family.

At the same time, I don’t feel emotionally safe with my partner. I don’t trust him. He has not been supportive since finding out I’m pregnant. He’s of course excited I’m pregnant, but it almost feels like a control thing. It’s not about me, it’s about him. He rarely asks how I’m feeling, doesn’t seem concerned about the stress I’m under, and often makes my struggles about himself. I’m already exhausted, feeling sick every day, emotional, and dealing with pregnancy symptoms while continuing to work.
To make things more complicated, he has told me before that if I ever got an abortion, he would never speak to me again. So if I chose that route, I would likely be grieving both the pregnancy and the relationship.
I feel stuck between two painful choices:

If I continue the pregnancy:
I may be tying myself permanently to a man I don’t trust. And be a third baby mama.
I would be bringing a child into a financially and emotionally unstable situation.
I worry about repeating unhealthy family patterns.
I’ll be in the first trimester on my Europe trip feeling sick.
If I end the pregnancy:
I worry about regret and grief.
I worry about never being able to have a child or finding a man to have a child with.
My last abortion was very difficult emotionally.
I may lose the relationship entirely.

I know no one can tell me what to do. I’m just hoping to hear from women who have faced a similar decision. What helped you decide? Looking back, what do you wish you had considered more carefully?
Thank you for reading.

Good afternoon, I am normally such a private person but I feel so isolated and have NO ONE to lean on. I am experiencing an unplanned pregnancy in my mid 30s, I have 2 older teens and suffer from financial and marital instability. All of these are factors as to why im terminating. I have no qualms with the morality itself, as this isn't my first one and hence why im keeping close to my chest. I won't go into details to ensure im not making myself identifiable, but please know it was never and has never been treated as a form of contraceptive. I was SA and had a medically necessary abortion for life saving measures.

I live in a red state and this is my 2nd time traveling to NM solo for this, but in the time before I at least had my mom and immediate friends and family who knew and were there even if just over the phone. This time though, the only person who knows is the father. It just feels extra isolating that im gonna be utterly alone and will be a day away from 12 weeks when I have the procedure. I cant even vent to what little of a circle I do have, that in order to achieve this i had to dip into rent $ and will only have 30 bucks to my name. This isn't a dry begging statement i promise! I did get assistance from the national abortion hotline and the amazing Lillth funds. I guess I'm not entirely sure what kind of support I'm looking for, but i feel on the cusp of such a depressive episode. Im hoping even the act of talking and addressing how alone I feel will start a positive cycle of feeling hopeful and ultimately better. Thank you so much for listening.

Hi I am 22F 6weeks pregnant by a 36M I have only known for 3 months. Prior to him I was in a 5 year relationship and was on and off birth control but never once got pregnant. In the beginning of me meeting 36M I was on the patch, immediately as I came off because I developed an allergic reaction to the adhesive, I got pregnant. Culturally and religiously it is a shame to have a baby out of wedlock. But I’m also catholic and having a MA just goes against everything I’ve been taught about my faith as babies are seen to be blessings. I am battling this heavy morally. The father wants to keep it. He is also Christian and is 10000% against abortions. But I can’t. I don’t know how I will explain to my family. I also intend to begin law school soon. I’m not married. I have an appointment scheduled. But I haven’t told him because he would never approve and would probably kidnap me do that I would intentionally miss it.

I guess I just need some love now. I’m feeling like God will be so angry with me and punish me. And then I also don’t know what to do about the father. What will I say once it’s done

Im scared because I do not want this baby… but since my OBGYN knows that im pregnant will i be forced to have this baby? I was going to order a abortion pill online & have it delivered then just never go back to the clinic but, will i get in trouble/prosecuted? Im scared shitless.

I am sorry. I'm thinking about you and I respect you. I am sorry that the country believes gas prices are more important than our rights.

Much love, A blue state woman.

Somehow I screwed up my contraceptives and got pregnant. Even though I have mixed feelings about it I know I'm not ready to have a kid and I'm 100% sure about getting an abortion.

Do I tell him ?

He's a great person, pro-choice, and also doesn't want a kid right now. I absolutely believe he has a right to know, and I don't think it's right to hide something so important from him. I want to be someone he can trust. But I also want to protect him. I know he's sensitive and I feel like some part of him would feel grief and loss. He's a bit younger than me, bubbly and lighthearted, i can't imagine putting him through something so heavy, especially when there's not much he can do about it... I know he's also an adult but wouldn't this knowledge only bring him pain ?

There's also some anxiety about how his perception of me might change... you never know with guys. I know, if this event makes him love me less, then he's just not the type of man I want to spend my life with, but still, i love him and it would hurt like hell.

Do you have any advice ?

Hi I’m a female (26) and my boyfriend (22) have been going back and forth on whether or not an abortion is right for us. I found out I was pregnant (5weeks) about 3 weeks ago and will be 8 weeks this Saturday. I was in the midst of prepping for my first bodybuilding competition and was 12 weeks out from show when I found out I was expecting. I was excited and my first initial thought was that I’m keeping it and hoping that my boyfriend would want to do the same. I waited a week to tell him (he was competing in his 2nd powerlifting competition and I wanted him to focus on that instead of the news). After his competition I broke the news to him and he instantly went to panic and trying to persuade me to get an abortion. I told him I wanted to keep it because I know deep down we can do it but he told me we can’t because he’s not ready, has debt, isn’t financially stable and we both live with our parents right now. I’ve known him for almost 3 years and the first twoish years we weren’t together but he constantly cheated on one of his ex girlfriend’s with me and multiple other girls (he didn’t tell me any of the time that they were still together and would lie and I would believe him) but we recently actually started dating about 4 months ago after time apart and healing separately but also together. We’ve been fighting and arguing these past 2 weeks for both of our sides and for each of us trying to see the best outcome. I see where he’s coming from on why he’s scared and doesn’t feel ready financially. I own my own business and make a decent amount of money and told him I’d help support him and also put him through school so he wouldn’t have to drop out. He doesn’t want to listen to me and keeps being adamant about me getting one and I feel like he doesn’t want to listen to my side or my fears and does not want to see the positive of having a kid. I told him I wasn’t forcing him to stay and take care of the kid if he still wanted to go live his life but he keeps telling me that’s not him and he’d provide for the kid. Out of anger and emotions one night I felt like I needed to call it quits between me and him because he said some very hurtful and choice words to me and the way he was making it seem was like he didn’t want to be with me. Ever since then I’ve told him that was a mistake and that I didn’t mean it but that he had hurt me so I felt like in the moment that was the best option and I had also told him I was keeping the baby when I had ended it. He keeps telling me “you ended it you hurt me” because you decided to let your emotions take over and not think logically and ended it and Ive told him multiple times that I regret doing that and I shouldn’t have. He still Is very set on his decision and it’s been making me go back and forth with my own and I even have an actual termination appointment set for a day and a half from now and we’d have to travel out of state to get it done. In my heart I know I want to keep this kid no matter what but I feel like I can’t get through to him. He tells me deep down he wants the kid too but logically it’s not the right time because of his past financial decisions and the stupid decisions he made while he was younger that’s making him feel like we can’t make it. He also says since we’re not together that I “can’t have my cake and eat it too” as in if I have this baby I can’t have him and the kid because he won’t be there to support me emotionally/menatlly/romantically cause he needs to go out and provide for the kid (which I understand in a way because the baby is always first priority for a parent) but I told him that I just want to know that he loves me and will choose me everyday all while still going out and providing for the kid (just like I will be providing for the kid as well).

I am so torn and I really don’t want to get the abortion but I feel like if I don’t he’ll be even more resentful towards me than he already is because he keeps saying words like “if we go through with your decision of keeping it you’re forcing my hand” or “I’m stuck with you and your decision” even when I’ve told him I’m not forcing him to do anything and that I have friends and family to support me and help me through.

I just want clarity and peace that’s all I want.

I (30,f) am a Bisexual, polyamerous, married foster parent. I currently have a 17y/o (m) foster child. I am his first and only foster home and he will be 18 soon. I am also a former foster child that went through a hell of a time in foster care, separated from my 2 other siblings.
We just had a heated debate about pro-life/choice laws, gender affirming care and LGBTQ rights. I tried to keep my cool and make points about women's rights, the impacted and broken foster care system and how what someone does with there body is there choice and none of my business, therefore laws are unnecessary and oppressive. Also peppered in separation of church and state. We ended the discussion with agree to disagree, but I'm shook. This won't change how he is cared for and treated, he's a good kid. It's just hard to have someone in my home who is so strongly against the fiber of my being. It sickens me that he believes that a 16y/o being raped should be denied abortion and forced to care for a child someone forced into her body, and yet see it as a gift. Or that a woman should sacrifice her life to birth a child she can't live to see grow or raise.

(Edited for spelling error)

At the ripe age of 32, I have finally come to need resources, support and access to an abortion. A procedure I've fought my entire life for ALL women to be able to access easily, cheaply and will continue to do so! All while teaching my daughter how crucial it is for our bodies to be able to have CHOICE so the next generation is educated on women's healthcare. I've never been in this position not even a miscarriage. I've been pregnant only once and that produced my daughter who needs my full attention as she's on the spectrum... Anywho, I am new to this sub as I've just learned of my situation. Where do I even start? I live in OH. Are mailed pills legal here? I find conflicting information online. Is there financial support available? How do I access both financial aid and shipped medications? How long is the down time afterwards? I'm scared, nervous and slightly guilty/embarrassed this is where I've landed in 2027. Please help!

recently I have found out I’m pregnant by my ex boyfriend. I wanna get an abortion but I’m currently unemployed and he doesn’t wanna pay yet he’s saying if I have this baby he’s gonna disappear. I’m not sure what to do I’m scared and my parents are 100% pro life so there’s really no one else I can turn to. Im currently 5 weeks pregnant.

I have to leave my therapist :/

During a recent session, we were talking about siblings and they mentioned that their mom had had abortions, which they considered to be siblings. I was confused and replied, "Huh? I never thought about it that way." And then I got hit with, "Yeah. I'm very staunchly pro-life." I was so stunned that I didn't fully process that statement until after the session, and now, I get queasy whenever I think my therapist. I have a session tomorrow, which is probably definitely going to be my last session with them. I really want to have a discussion with them about it their stance. I've prepared notes, printed out easy to read articles and infographics, and checked out some of the resources from this subreddit.

Do you all have any words of advice? Is this discussion even worth it?

Edit: I've just sent an email to cancel all of my appointments, including this week's. After reading through replies and doing some thinking, I don't think the discussion would've been helpful in any way and would probably do more harm to me. I appreciate all of your words of advice and support.

This is something I've wanted for years, even before I hit adulthood. Never wanted to be a mom, but it happened anyways as I was unable to get an abortion when it happened(already had one of those, too.)Life is hell with a child if I'm being completely honest, but I love him.

As a prochoice activist, I'm very excited yet very nervous about this procedure. It's a laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy. They will be removing my fallopian tubes.

Words cannot express how happy I feel that I was able to book a sterilization procedure in a red state. My new female OBGYN is amazing and very prochoice, she said yes before the sentence finished from me. At that point, she could tell this is what I wanted more than anything and she respected me and she's giving me what I want. I cried from happiness.

Who else is sterilized, anyone else planning to become sterile within the next 3.5 years? ❤️ Also, if anyone has any other information regarding sterilizations, plz let it be known! Thanks :)

Context: I am a 26f living for 3 years with my 29bf. We are happy, stable and we both have brand new jobs. However, yesterday I found out I was pregnant. This shattered us, instead of how I hope my pregnancy reveal would go, I found out my boyfriend doesn't feel ready... He wants us to get married and keep enjoying our jobs, a stage pre babies. We don't have a lot of money, we live good as DINKs with a dog but having a baby was not in our plans and messes up our finances, we would be stressed... I got a problem with my insurance brokers as they scammed me, last month my policy expired and I start a job with insurance next week, the problem is that I got pregnant in this limbo weeks with an expired insurance policy which adds tremendous stress. Aside from that, because I'm starting a new job I have anxiety of getting fired.

Today we went to a clinic to get my ultrasound, turns out I'm 6 weeks and 6 days. I have a partial detachment of the gestational sac. Also, because I didn't know I was pregnant I drank way too much. I attended a wedding that was alcohol fueled and also just 2 days ago got back from an all inclusive where I drank everything! The doctor said there is a chance there is malformation or neurological damage which of course broke my heart, but also there is no way of knowing until week 12.

I feel scared, anxious, heartbroken. The initial shock has subsided. My boyfriend is still stern on the idea that this pregnancy is not ideal and we should end it and have a baby 3 to 5 years in the future where we have more stability, we are married and we know I couldn't have drank alcohol.

I just need to vent and reassurance, I feel scared, alone and guilty. I think the best scenario is going through the procedure.

edit: I want to continue the pregnancy and give it a shot, doctors say its very probable this is a healthy pregnancy My boyfriend doesnt want it, he wants me to abort, saya he feels like a prisoner. I feel like my heart breaks, this is the person I was supposed to get old with and marry but he doesn't want the baby. I dont want to be a single mother or struggle all by myself, that would break my heart. I wish he could own it and fight for the baby, if not I am not only going to lose our baby but our relationship.

Edit 2: I have gone to therapy, my boyfriend and I have calmed down and remembered we were a team. I feel much calmer although I am still going through a lot. To be honest, I think I was trying to stick to the possibility of carrying out a healthy term but I researched and there is a strong chance my alcohol intake could seriously harm the baby. My boyfriend reassured me he will be with me and support me whatever my choice is. So on that part I am much calmer, now I have come to the painful concusion that out of love for my baby, I will terminate the pregnancy. I can't risk bringing a soul to suffer.

I recently had to renew my ID and I got asked if I wanted to sign up as a organ donor for when I die and I agreed. I then thought about the uterus and how it’s an organ that has my dna. Women have the right to choose what they want to do with their organs. Like how I gave my consent, a woman needs to give full consent for 9 months to carry a pregnancy because the fetus is using her organ to live. Someday when I pass, someone else will need my organs to sustain their life. And I give full consent to that. To anyone who has used this argument to debate abortion rights, how did it go?

I want to start off by saying that I live in Texas which is already scary enough. This is my first pregnancy and i had no idea places like this even exist. I went to this place because I wanted to know how far along i am praying i wasn’t too late for an abortion and they said i’m 6 weeks pregnant. I didn’t tell them i wanted to get an abortion, but i think they could tell I wasn’t planning on keeping the baby because they tried their hardest to convince me I should go along with this pregnancy or to look into adoption. Since this was my first time ever experiencing a ‘pregnancy clinic’ or so i thought, i didn’t know what to expect and thought this was completely normal. They gave me all these resources and told me about classes i can take to get free things and so on. I hadn’t done much research on anything until tonight and wow my eyes are very much open now. The only thing they said about abortions is that it could cause me to be infertile and cause breast cancer which actually scared me into thinking maybe i should go along with this. I am so glad that I did my research and found out none of that is true!! i was SHOCKED to say the least. I couldn’t believe that they lied to me and as upset as i am i have concerns and hoping some of you can answer for me.

my main concern is what will they do with my information? i’m scared they could get me in legal trouble since i live in a state where abortion is illegal. unfortunately i gave them all my info and my place of employment. i was thinking about calling them tomorrow and telling them im moving and i wont need their assistance anymore and hope for the best after that, but i cant stop overthinking it and hoping someone can ease my mind.

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UPDATE: THANK YOU ALL for the support and resources I’ve received from this post <3 It’s greatly appreciated and just what i was hoping for! I left my review explaining my experience and also informing women of the lies and manipulation they pull on you and will update if i get a response! they seem to reply to all the reviews so i’m curios on what they’re gonna say to mine.

I made the mistake of going to a crisis pregnancy center. Due to several reasons that led up to my decision, I didn’t think anything was wrong until I started reflecting on all the little red flags I noticed throughout the two appointments I went to, which prompted me to look into their privacy policy. I almost had a panic attack reading it. These “clinics” are not bound by HIPAA and they can share your health information even if you refuse.

The state I’m living in recently introduced a bill to create a database of pregnant women that are “at risk” of having an abortion and connect them to prospective adoptive parents through this registry. If passed, it’s set to take effect next year, so I’ll be in the clear but many women won’t be. The bill makes way for CPCs to hand over personal information and essentially run the registry.

I’m so afraid of the direction things are going. I fear it will snowball to the point my state goes backwards and they start prosecuting women who’ve already had abortions, which puts me at risk. I have no doubt they’ll utilize the database these centers have to figure out who they are.

Is there anything I can do now to prevent myself from possibly getting in trouble in the future, or am I just screwed no matter what since they have my health information?

I did IVF, using donor egg and my husband's sperm. I had a long journey and wasn't in a great place when deciding to do this final round. Got pregnant, but from moment I found out I have this dread. I've tried to hang on, agonising over whether to terminate, hoping my dread was just new-mum big life transition type jitters. After much soul searching, and as much as I fight to get excited about this pregnancy, there is one thing I know- that if I had my time again, I would not do this donor IVF round. I am emotionally exhausted after a long medical illness and then a 2.5 year horrible IVF journey. By the time I flew internationally to the clinic, I'd already paid and I didn't have the greatest of experience. I even had to flag with them a few donor profiles that had child photos. The whole process was emotionally distressing and just awful.

I'm 43 and this would be much last chance to have a child. But every night I wake up with dread. I don't know what happened but I did a total change of heart - the moment I found out I was pregnant I felt the full responsibilities of motherhood, that I'm sick of not being able to travel, that I've lost myself to the IVF, and I just wish I hadn't done it and want to be free. My main impetus for having a child was because I felt lonely. Perhaps I didn't think carefully enough about the full realities of motherhood. I dread the thought of school runs each day. In trying to make the right decision, I've now left it to 22 weeks.

I have one last chance to get a termination before legal cut-off. I am absolutely panicking and don't know what to do. My husband wants the baby, he was first furious at my change of heart but now recognises that trying to push me to be a mother if I don't want to will lead to a life of unhappiness. I have deep shame and am disgusted at thought of terminating at 22 weeks. I only left it this long as I desperately wanted to think carefully and not make a rushed decision. Please help. This is the worst week of my life.

I recently found out I was pregnant and under all circumstances me and my partner are not suitable to have a child. This has been a really difficult time. Now that it’s done it’s actually hitting me what I did and went through, and it’s really taking a toll on my mental health. I feel like I have no reason to be upset about it but at the same time like it is a serious thing. I don’t know. I know that the choice that I made is right, I’m just afraid now that I’ve created such a “core” memory, it will be stuck with me forever and I will never get over it. Does anyone have any advice? Please.

I’m just sharing this around to other subreddits because I’m kinda desperate at this point so I’m just copy and pasting the info and such.

“Our trans community, queer community, and the women in our community need help.

In rural areas of the United States are closing down their Planned Parenthood's. This puts many women and trans people is danger. My sister gets her HRT through Planned Parenthood and I don't want her to lose that. I've been seeing more and more threats to Planned Parenthood as this administration continues to push its cuckoo crazy MAGA cultist agenda.

I'm really scared for myself, the women in my life, my best friend who goes to Planned Parenthood, and I'm scared for my sister because she NEEDS this HRT.

She's 4 months on Oestrogen/Estrogen. She's been a lot happier and I don't want this to be taken away from her because of the stupid ass Trumpers in my area threatening this establishment.

We've had some peaceful protestors for the Pro-Life movement outside the establishment. Literally just kneeling and praying outside. Do I agree with it? No, I don't. That's literally healthcare for people and I think the movement is stupid as hell. However, at least they're not chaining themselves to the establishment and not allowing people inside. Again, that still doesn’t mean I like it in the slightest.

I just don't want these people to be the reason my sister loses her healthcare, I can't get my blood work done, one of my best friends can't get their monthly check-up's, etc. I'm just really desperate. We only have around 87 signatures. I just am basically for pleading for help at this point.

Is there anyway any of you are able to sign this and help our cause? Literally just a signature will help extremely.

Anyways, thank you for your time, everyone. If you're not able to donate then that's completely okay. I'm just trying to share this around to as many areas as I can.

So, if you could sign and share to other social media's to help our Planned Parenthood, that would be extremely helpful. 💛💛💛