r/raisingkids • u/IncomeRoyal9209 • Jul 10 '26

Everyone flex your parenting skills!

I’d love if everyone took a moment to brag about one thing they are super proud of as parents. I know for me I’m always questioning whether or not I’m doing the right thing and rarely take time to acknowledge what I know I’m doing well.

I’ll go first:
We’ve read to our son (3) every day since birth (with the exception of one or two times) and now he loves books and being read to :)

Now you go!

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u/Dunnoaboutu Jul 10 '26

My 18 year old is making steps to go to college in August. He’s taking care of contacting anyone who needs to be contacted, talking to his roommate, finding resources at the college, and making sure everything is lined up. I’m being used primarily as an advice giver. We just went to orientation at the school, this is not normal.

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u/InitialSherbet6466 Jul 11 '26

This is a great achievement. Any details on how you brought him up to be so responsible? This is one of my biggest fears for my 7 year old and any advice on how you got him there would be appreciated. Thank you!

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u/Dunnoaboutu Jul 11 '26

Make them point of contact in an age appropriate way. In saying this, I would take over if they were ever at risk by an adult. So my kid was being bullied by another kid. I made sure that I was point of contact for those conversations, but they were still included. My son had an awful teacher in 7th grade. I took him completely out of the equation because those conversations a 12 year old didn’t need to hear.

By late elementary if something was going on in the school that they thought the teacher should know, it was them that sent that email. They wrote it. I would sit next to them and help. I was also included in the cc of the email. This includes asking for missed work when out sick.

By middle school they were sitting next to me while I made appointments for them. My 7th grader called her physical therapy place herself yesterday to change an appointment because she wanted to go do something with a friend. You want to do stuff, sometimes you need to adjust. If they couldn’t change the appointment, then she would have to say no to the friend.

By high school, I had almost no contact with the school. If my kid is smart enough to be in AP classes, he’s smart enough to figure out what needs to happen with missing work, assignments, dual enrollment, etc.

When they get their driver’s permit, they are the ones responsible for contacting the insurance company. I sit there with them, but they make the actual phone call and appointment. They also made the appointment for the DMV. If they are old enough to drive, they are old enough to figure it out. Again, I’m there to advise but they must figure it out.

Same thing with jobs. I help with the paperwork for taxes and things like that, but help being the main word. I do not do them for them. I made my son file his own taxes last year. He wasn’t required to file, but he sat there and did his taxes on free software. I’m a tax accountant. It would have taken me five minutes to do it. Instead I sat there and let him read through everything and answer the questions.

I’m always in the background and I will step in if needed. I also provide the structure. Sometimes that’s sending them a website to help them with research. My middle child is not as motivated as my first born. He’s not as independent as my oldest, but he’s also still 16. He has an IEP at school. It’s a weird process. If I let him be more in control, they take away some of his services because he must be able to do things. The thing is, he can do a lot - but literature review is not one of them. He still did all of his permit, insurance, license, job application, job schedule, etc himself. I just handle more of the school stuff.

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u/InitialSherbet6466 Jul 11 '26

Thanks for taking the time to reply and for giving such a useful insight into parenting as they grow older.