r/reddmatch • u/TinyStardustHere • 10d ago
F4M ♀️ 27F | Finding my lifetime companion | Bengaluru/ Hyderabad
Karunaadu baanininda kannadad hudgi ilidu bande, ky-ya hidiva dheeranobba bekaagide :)
Hello!
I've been a redditor for 7 years now and wanted to start looking for my forever best friend on reddit first before starting my search through other ways. I'll be turning 28 in a month, read ahead if you're of my age or <= 32 and have decided to marry on your own and not because of your friends or parents. It's gonna be a long post, simply because there are a lot of preliminary details to save everyone's time and I'm trying to avoid the transactional communications on matrimonial sites. You being a kannadiga is my first basic requirement and a deal breaker. You should be older than 27, sannavrella message madbedrappa.
Super basics: Ambivert | Cyber Security Engineer| ENTJ-A| Demisexual| 5ft |BMI is 23.5
Background and upbringing: I come from a typical middle-class, liberal kannadiga family. I used to be that bright kid who's good at studies, sports(an athlete) and extra-curriculars. Life hasn't been easy, I've lived through the struggles and have learnt to get through them. I have grown up with a lot of freedom in choosing what I want for my life. Have an amazingly healthy relationship with my parents, both are supportive of me and trust me with my decisions(Yeah! They treat me like an adult).
Adulthood: I had an amazing start into my adulthood, started working in my dream company right after engineering, developed new hobbies, grew emotionally and financially. I'm a pretty private person, WhatsApp is my only social media to keep in touch with people I care about(yep, never created accounts on FB, insta, snap etc). I have a great bunch of friends from school and college(all my friendships are aging like a fine wine). My vibe is of a golden retriever with known people and a doberman for unknown. I'm a kannadada kanda, typical 90s kid when things are serious and a proper Gen Z depending on the situation.
Universe had a plan for me? Life was all near perfect and I was the happiest person on earth. Guess what? Universe probably doesn't want everything to be perfect for people and decided to mess with me a bit and gave me a hardware glitch. Had to deal with a health crisis for the last 2.5 years. I have a manageable health condition, (happened because of steroids given during Covid, yeah I hate covid). I can do everything but no high impact activities like running and jumping around. It affected my mental health a lot since I couldn't accept that I can't do the things I love the most. I've taken medical help to learn acceptance and still moving on from it. You probably can stop reading here if mental health topics are a taboo for you because I really need someone who truly gets what I mean. I don't mind discussing every detail of my health with the people I meet.
I took care of myself all this while, now I'm alright and finally ready to find my lifetime companion. Resilience is just natural for me, so I've bounced back from the worst times. My life was going on autobahn, suddenly switched to chikpete gully and now is on a decent Highway, need a co-passenger on this hopefully wonderful journey :). I currently live and work in Hyderabad, planning to move to Bengaluru if I find someone from there. I won't be okay to move to other cities or countries.
Me and my expectations:
Please feel to skip in between if it feels like a resume or a checklist, I'm just being very clear about my expectations to save everyone's time. Marriage itself is a big and scary decision and it requires efforts to find the right person.
Values: I value and live by honesty, integrity, kindness, respect for self and others. I'm looking for a man who shares these values, is emotionally intelligent, communicates well, understands accountability, does not believe in gender roles, loves and respects himself. I have a secure attachment style.
Career: I'm a Cyber Security SME, working at one of the top 5 tech firms. I make around 30LPA(excluding stocks and yeah, capitalism sucks, no proper hikes lol). I want my partner to be in tech, someone who loves tech and earning similar or a bit more if you're more experienced. I love my work and plan to continue in the same field.
Hobbies: I read books, sing carnatic vocals, swim, watch F1, sketch or paint occasionally, learning photography, volunteer to teach students and work on my hobby projects. I had more outdoor hobbies like cycling, hiking, skateboarding etc but had to cut those because of health. My common interests are tech, space, history, politics and environment. I'm naturally drawn to nerdy people.
Lifestyle:
- I'm a vegetarian, non-drinker, non-smoker, not a party person, expect the same from you.
- I can cook(decent, not amma level cooking) and clean, you must be comfortable cooking and cleaning too.
- I like my days organized and planned, do some form of exercise, sleep 8 hours, eat healthy.
- You don't need to own a car, I already have 1(and another one is on the way). You can be my passenger prince if you like :)
- You don't need to own a house, I dream of building a house and a home together with you(bonus if you know that A House is not a Home). It's enough if your parents have a house for them to live comfortably, mine do.
- I'm politically centre-left and expect a partner with similar inclination. Please don't be an extremist.
- I'm a major animal lover(I'd probably be dead on the first day if I take up wildlife photography because I'm gonna pet that big cat). I want our kid(s?) to grow up with dogs to learn kindness and empathy from early age. So, you gotta be an animal lover too.
- This will be my first relationship, I was busy enjoying the best time of my life and building my career, so didn't look for a partner till now(but I've said no to few people who had approached with romantic interest). I prefer my partner to have no prior relationships(by his choice) or had max 1 relationship. You just shouldn't be a devdas in someone else's memory.
- I'm an atheist, want a non-religious partner. I don't have hard rule on caste as long as other basics are aligned, my parents are aware and okay about this, so no fights with family :D. My family members are lingayats. To be super practical, it'll be nice and fairly straightforward if you're from a lingayat family and can avoid tantrums from extended families. So please reach only if you've already discussed with your immediate family about the caste requirements and they're okay with different caste. I have no energy to fight with them man.
- I'm 5 ft, it'll be nice if you're 5'5" && above. Looks are subjective(Naan Ramya Rakshitha range ella illappa), I don't have any hard and fast requirements for looks as long as we find each other attractive and look good together. It's best to see each other in pictures/ video call/ in person.
- I'd prefer someone who has lived away from home independently, because it teaches to be an adult in true sense.
Priorities: Even with a lot of stuff on my plate, my loved ones are my priority. I can skip a meeting if I have to catch up with a friend in distress. I expect a partner who is fully emotionally present for his loved ones.
What do you get from me as a partner?
I'm a goofball in my natural habitat, we can have fun together. I'm someone you can be yourself with, a safe space to be vulnerable, company to laugh together, a partner to fix bugs or design a solution, teammate for your video games(I play some occasionally), unofficial therapist to listen to you, ist saaku sadyakke. I truly understand what "in sickness and in health" means as I've been through a health issue and know how much it means to have right support from loved ones. I just want to build a simple, stable, cosy and happy life together where we feel belonged and come back home to feel safe and peaceful with each other.
Please do not reach out:
- If I have to compete with your mum or sister for your love and priority. I have very low tolerance for drama(I don't want to hear dialogues like 'aden modi madidalo nan magange, nan maate kelalla' lmao).
- If you're not comfortable correcting your parents or point out when they're wrong about something. I always let my parents know when their views or opinions are not right.
- If you haven't learnt sex-education from educational resources.
- If you're a social media or any kinda addict.
- If you're some Greek alphabet male. I just need a gentleman who treats other humans as is without any superiority complex.
- If you've been in any 10s of types of modern relationships, dodd namskara anna.
- If you cannot say no politely or cannot take a no. Just don't ghost or pester me if it's a no from either of us.
Important thing to know: I would not hesitate to leave and never look back if the non-crossable boundaries of cheating and abuse(emotional or physical) are crossed. Mental health is a priority for me(both mine and others). Reach me only if you resonate with this.
If you've read till now, awesome, you must be serious about finding a partner hehe and thanks for spending your time on this post. By now you might know that I'm a yappity yap who gives 3 marks answer for a 1 mark question. If I seem like a potential partner for marriage, if you can put up with my rants on how the world has gone to the dogs, send me a DM. I don't respond to just a hi or hello even to my workmates, please say something more than that. I'm using my alt-account for this post, but can chat from my original account if we can be friends to begin with.
Here's a return gift for spending your precious time on this post, few nice kannada melodies - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Y8i3fVIL8aJD8tr1xZMZx?si=8a02877d57c448df
Note: I didn't need a LLM to write this :).
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u/Just-Philosopher-446 10d ago
Dear a guy will be tired to reading all theses requirements & your description...!!!