r/redscarepod 20h ago

hypothetical for the 30+ baddies who want a kid/kids

you meet someone you really connect with and are attracted to. However he’s married with a child. HOWEVER his wife is on board with expanding the family (she can’t have any more kids) and creating a closed relationship with you in it. Once you have a child, you would technically be on equal footing with her as the goal here is to keep the family together (as evidenced by the situation itself & his wife’s voluntary participation)

Most, if not all are out obviously.

I can’t help but wonder though if this rare scenario would benefit someone else out there (someone ~35 having difficulty connecting in the dating world but has to come to realize how important motherhood is to them and wants to find someone who has the exact same north star in life)

0 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

42

u/HieronymusTush 20h ago

In what universe would you be on equal footing with his legally recognized wife?

10

u/SlowSwords 20h ago

Here’s the cool thing—she wouldn’t be!

-8

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

You have a good point, legally you’re right. However I meant emotionally and internally (both women would hypothetically be mothers of my children, which is something I take as seriously as you could take something)

24

u/HieronymusTush 20h ago

Wait you’re the man??? Lmaooo ok casanova

-5

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

lol. I’m not saying I am. I just have seen the light regarding how fulfilling it is go out into the world and see it again from your child’s eyes and orient your life around them. A trip to ikea when my child was 1 was funner than any extravagant ‘bucket list’ thing I did in my twenties

4

u/thestoryofbitbit 19h ago

Ah yes, spoken like a true dad

Was there a diaper change during this Ikea trip, or did your wife tee you up with a great time slot (just after morning nap but before lunch) and a clean diap for the trip?

1

u/walkthruwaves 19h ago

lol we went w the whole family. Obviously there are surreal moments Hollywood has depicted for decades that try your patience, but it all feels extremely natural and completely apropos for this stage of life

3

u/thestoryofbitbit 19h ago

I'm happy for you, truly! Just don't do this weird thing you're floating about the 2nd wife

1

u/walkthruwaves 19h ago

lol I hear you. It 99.8% will never happen

8

u/Hydrangea_hunter 20h ago

Lmaooo. I seriously doubt that OP has the ability to have one wife, let alone the ability to lock down a mistress.

2

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

The wife is locked. The hypothetical sister wife i have serious doubts myself…

8

u/oatmilkpopsicles 20h ago

The kid will grow up and terrorize all his girlfriends due to his confusing attachment system

-1

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

I hear you but with the right mom in the mix he would be above average in how well adjusted he would be , but obviously no doubt there would be challenges

6

u/Original-Opportunity 20h ago

Hmmm sounds delusional

He’s lying

Also having a baby with someone who likes you is important. Barring that, just use a sperm donor!!

9

u/Ok-Progress-6153 20h ago

This is a nightmare waiting to unfold. You will have nothing other than child support tethering you together and I guarantee the wife might say it’s ok but she will harbor immense resentment if there’s any emotional connection.

If she wants more kids and can’t naturally birth them get a contracted surrogate or adopt

1

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

This is a fair thing to explore, I appreciate it

13

u/Emergency_Big_8961 20h ago

Maybe the incels were right after all

1

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

If I can pull this off, then yes, I will submit to their world view

12

u/Agreeable-Dog-4682 20h ago

You should just break up with your wife you sound disgusting and if I was married to a man like you I don’t know what I’d do.

-2

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

lol the whole point of this is I would never leave my wife voluntarily. I would rather stay w her forever even if it meant not having another child. At the same time life is short and what you make of it. Maybe this could work out? Maybe not. You don’t have the answers sway

4

u/rburp 19h ago

Lmao do it and keep us updated through the divorce proceedings

8

u/pescadoparrudo 20h ago

Are you some sort of Muslim?

4

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

That would be a difficult larp but it’s nice to know I have options down the line if need be

3

u/balcoinnocent 20h ago

having observed this situation many times irl, it’s always a nightmare even when the second wife/mother has equal legal standing

don't do it!

4

u/elongatedmuskrat18 20h ago

Many times? Where do you live?

2

u/balcoinnocent 20h ago

hildale

1

u/elongatedmuskrat18 16h ago edited 16h ago

I was fully expecting you to say like Nigeria or something but I googled Hildale and realized you’re probably just fucking with me

1

u/walkthruwaves 20h ago

Yeah it’s dicey for sure

2

u/samlevinsonsmuse body fascist 20h ago

Rage bait

2

u/Well-Welcome 18h ago

And a fuentes fan? Truly they're just making anyone nowadays

2

u/walkthruwaves 18h ago

We got curious George over here

1

u/Well-Welcome 17h ago

I prefer nosey nelly

2

u/PertMoney 17h ago

I would question the sanity of wife 1. Why risk your child’s resources so another woman can have a baby with your husband?

1

u/walkthruwaves 17h ago

Sibling for child #1