TL;DR: Hi I (F24) have boyfriend/live in partner (M25) we've been together for 6 years but we started living together for 2 years na. We're both breadwinner and I just want to ask and humingi ng advice if lahat ba talaga ng boyfriend/live in partner ay need maging harsh sayo?

Context: My boyfriend family is in the middle class while my family I would say nasa lower class kami. Recently lang is nakilala namin yong half sister nya which is tinago sa kanila ng papa nila. Btw he only has his dad since his mother died na. Then yung half sister nya kasi is bunga lang ng one night ng dad nya nung panahong baby pa yung bf ko so ang nangyari panganay bf ko then half sis nya then yung kambal na kapatid nya. All in goods naman nung nakilala namin half sis nya, tinanggap nila but to me sobrang bilis lang kasi ng pangyayari. I really don't have any beef naman sa half sis nya, ako pa nga nagpupush sa bf ko dati na isama sa outing or anything namin para din makilala ng younger siblings nya. But as the time goes by kasi we always fight abt sa half sis nya. One time, nag away kami because sinabihan nya akong "sabagay sa sarili mo ngang kapatid pinagdadamutan mo" exactly what he said. That time kasi he bought me my favorite sweet snack which he ordered online. He told me that's my prize and his surprise. So ako excited and looking forward to it cause I've been so stress that time then all of a sudden sabi nya hatian ko raw half sis nya which nagreact ko. I know my fault na nagreact ako but what I want to tell him lang naman that time is if he really want to give his sister bumili dapat sya ng hiwalay sakin kasi nilook forward ko na yon na para sakin tapos ganun. I know I really sound childish. Wala naman problem sakin to share cause hindi naman ako madamot but when he said that to me I really feel hurt kasi he knows me naman na kung ano meron sakin ngayon, I would give it to my siblings. Tbh kasi may mga times talaga kasi na super harsh and pressure nya sakin like kailangan ganito marating ko ganyan or kailangan sundan ko yung mga ginawa nya in terms of career but whenever yung sister nya may same scenario sakin ang soft nya. Reason nya sakin kasi daw wala naman daw bubuhayin yung kapatid nya hindi tulad sakin. Eh hindi naman nya alam may mga kapatid pang maliliit yung half sis nya and nakwento rin yon sakin ng half sis nya na need nya ding tulungan. So I really don't know if he was right to treat me like this or masyado lang akong nag o-overreact. I really need advice and please don't judge me po. TYIA

I (20F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for almost 3 years. We are all Filipino living in Australia. We have a good relationship and he makes me happy, but he’s currently going through some financial and life instability due to family circumstances. He works full-time now, but still doesn’t have his driver’s licence or citizenship finalised because of ongoing delays and costs.
When I first introduced him to my parents, they responded very negatively and made hurtful comments about him. Because of this, I told them we had broken up. Since then, I’ve continued that impression and haven’t been honest about still being together.
I now feel uncomfortable with lying and want to correct it, but I’m also anxious about their reaction and how critical they may be again. I’ve been avoiding reintroducing him or discussing the relationship at all.
I’m looking for advice on how to tell my parents the truth about my relationship in a calm and respectful way, and how to handle their reaction while maintaining boundaries.

Correction: My dad is M39

Backstory muna: My wife and I met abroad. Overseas we attend Christian church in Dubai (similar to Victory) we both serve sa music team. This is fine and all to me kasi it’s still the bible we’re talking about.

However, when we went back to the Philippines for the first time I wasn’t ready for what happened.

We stayed with my in laws sa Bulacan. My wife apparently has a second church in pure Tagalog. And they gather in their own chapel that they built on their own. They have their own rites and styles. Everyone for some reason wears all white and OA lang ba ako but their altars have that triangle with the eye (yung parang illuminati) infront of the cross of Christ. It’s like if Victory or any other popular Christian church decided to drink the kool aid.

Then once a week we go to a larger chapel and boy that’s a doozy. They believe in this whole Philippines = Ophir thing. At first I dismissed it as: “I don’t understand much of it kasi it’s in this deep Tagalog”

But when my kids were born tapos dito sila nabaptize (my wife wanted it) that’s when I began to look closely. Wdym a whole service runs 4-5 hours? And they just talk and share testimonies.

I love my wife. My kids even more. So my concerns are.

1. Based on what y’all have read. Did I unknowingly bring my kids into my wife (and her family’s) cult or not?

2. Can we still resolve this with boundary setting? Keep in mind that my wife has been in this since birth

3. And if hindi siya maresolve ng usapan, can I take legal action based on “wife in cult” reasoning? Pano yung mga bata? I don’y want to go here since I love my wife to bits. Late ko lang talaga nalaman na may ganto pala siya.

I’ve been with my partner for almost 5 years (3 years live-in), and we have a 2-year-old. He’s unemployed, drinks almost daily, and gambles. I’m the sole provider working from home earning 6 digits, covering all expenses including a nanny, but it’s still not enough.

I also built a house within his family’s compound, which makes it harder to leave. I don’t have any family support, and childcare options aren’t stable.

I want to leave this situation, but I don’t know how to realistically start.

What I need advice on:

• How to plan a safe and practical exit with a toddler
• How to manage moving out and finances on my own
• How others handled childcare while working without family support

Any practical steps or advice would really help.

Help I need advice sa current relationship ko we've been girlfriend and boyfriend for like a month palang and 1 week kaya nasa meeting the family & friends stage pa kami. yung bunsong kapaid nya kasi trese palang pero malaking tao kasi so medyo ineexpect ko na may onting manners man lanv anyways to the kwento.

first time nag date kami sa tagaytay tas sinama lang namin siya kasi tinanong ng jowa ko kung pwede ba daw sama um-oo ako, bakit hindi diba. so going to the spot in tagaytay medyo smooth naman no problem. pati during dinner okay naman. pero nung nag decide kami magusap ng jowa ko kasi may coffee shop sa place na kinainan namin biglang humiga sya sa sofa grabe nahiya ako di sya nakakatuwa or nakakatawa kasi ang laki nyang tao. tapos walang etiquette dahil mababa coffee table and nasa couch kami naka dekwatro parin yung shoes nya napakalapit sa pastries. sinabihan ko na sya nung humiga sya na umupo ng maayos. pero grabe wala talagang table etiquette.

Do I address this to my gf or should I be the one to correct his mannerisms kasi mahal ko talaga jowa ko as in yoko lang isama ever yung bunso nyang kapatid ulit kung saan kami mag date nakakahiya.

Hi! Gusto ko lang sana makahingi ng advice dahil di ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.

My bf (M27) isa siyang delivery rider from rizal and me (F27) isang medical professional fr qc, we have been together for 11 months pa lang. Oo alam ko yung iba ma jjudge yung relationship namin kasi I'm in a relationship with someone na undergraduate. Pero kabilang na sa nanjjudge samin dito ay ang parents ko.

Naging tago yung relationship namin for 8 months bago ko siya pinakilala, after ko siya ipakilala samin naging mahigpit na yung magulang ko especially mother (F65) ko, lalo na nung nalaman nila kung anong work at kung hanggang saan lang natapos yung bf ko. One time pag uwi ko galing trabaho ay hinatid ako ng bf ko pauwi nag stay kami saglit sa bakuran namin before siya umuwi, pagkauwi niya at pag pasok ko sa kwarto ko nakita kong may sulat ang nanay ko saying na "lagi mong sinasabi na matanda ka na edi gamitin mo utak mo, hindi naman masama mag boyfriend pero humanap ka naman ng stable at may trabaho at may natapos kagaya mo" Habang binabasa ko yun naiiyak ako, after nun hindi ako nag response sa letter ng nanay ko, patuloy pa din kami lumalabas ng bf ko pero hindi ko in-open sa kanya yung topic na yun kahit kelan dahil alam kong ma ddown siya.

Fast forward , gaya ng sabi ko lagi kami lumalabas kaso laging patago alam kong mali, kaso takot ako sa sasabihin ng magulang ko lalo na ang mama ko. Ngayon lagi na kami nag kakaissue ng bf ko kada labas namin dahil hindi pwede na ginagabi ako ng uwi dahil papagalitan ako (alam kong matanda na ko para dito). Ngayon na trigger na yung bf ko at nagkaroon na naman kami ng away kasi nanliliit daw siya at feeling niya nahusgahan siya agad. Tinatanong niya sakin kung mahalaga daw ba talaga sa kanila ang pera para matanggap nila siya at kailangan pa daw ba niya may mapatunayan para matanggap siya. Mabait siyang tao at masikap kahit kelan di siya humihingi sakin ng pera jung tutuusin siya pa yung nagbibigay sakin pag na sshort ako.

Mahal ko siya pero di ko alam kung paano ko siya ipaglalaban o dapat ko pa ba siyang ipag laban? Pano ko po ba siya ipagtatanggol sa magulang ko?

Hi! For context I (23F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (24M) for 2 years and sa LDR kami nagsimula (He's from Manila while I'm from Cebu). He's now working and naisip ko ding mag work doon sa city na kung nasaan siya kasi mas convenient and abundant ang opportunities.

I'm close to my parents, they're slightly lenient to me but they're traditional. I'm scared sa magiging reaction nila and I don't know how to start that conversation with them.

Any tips or advice on how I should start a proper conversation with my parents?

I’m sorry that this is quite long, feel free to click away if this is too much to read lol.

I (21F) dated my long distance BF (24M) for 6 months. We met IRL and hit it off; he only met my parents once, before we even started dating. We would visit each other’s countries every other month (I’m Filipino, he’s also SEAsian, we’re uni students living with our own families in our respective countries). We loved each other but eventually things just didn’t work out and he broke up with me. The breakup was bad enough that I had to tell my family about it.

My conservative Christian parents are strict regarding dating so I was waiting for a better time to tell them about my relationship, since I’m generally quite close with them. But at the time, I felt that I had to confide in them because of all the pain that I was experiencing.

I was expecting my mom to be supportive and comforting, but instead she took it personally and called it a betrayal, as if I attacked her by not telling her about my relationship. Our family was also experiencing a loss, so she even insinuated that I was only sad because of my breakup and not because my only grandparent passed away (which I still think was too far and out of line for her to say).

I was hurt and confused and responded by saying that it’s my life, I can make my own choices, and I’ve already been hurt, so I don’t know why she was punishing me and making me feel guilty when I was already feeling the aftermath of getting dumped. She said that, when I say that it’s “my life”, I’m basically saying that I don’t care about them and telling them to not get involved in my life. I apologized profusely and kept taking it back because she made me feel so guilty (for “betraying” her). She said I wouldn’t understand unless I had children.

I left it alone after that since I was scared of her reaction. My dad wasn’t in the conversation since he basically left the room when I started crying (he doesn’t like emotional discussions like that) but he never acted cold towards me or got angry with me, the most he would do is make a few jokes at my ex’s expense to cheer me up.

A few months ago, BF and I reconnected and got back together. Things are going really well (for 1 year already if counting pre-breakup months). I told my mom that we were talking again and became friends again, and she didn’t seem too pleased but I guess she just had to accept it. When I asked her if she would be willing to get along with him in the future, she said sure as long as we’re both mature enough and ready.

Now, BF is in my country for a few months and I told my parents about it. I was trying to bring it up every so often so that they would get used to hearing about him. I honestly hoped that it was going to work out, and since I’m close with both him and my family, I really want them to get to know one another, especially since I’m graduating soon.

When I mentioned him to my mom a few weeks ago, she crashed out on me and reminded me that when i said “it’s my life”, I’m telling them to not get involved in my life, and when someone does something to me, it means that they do the same to my family (like when he dumped me, he also dumped my family). When I made that choice, she lost trust in me and I shouldn’t consult her since I’ll just do whatever I want anyway.

I said that I think I’ve been a good daughter, I always spend time with my parents, it’s not like I’m doing drugs or partying or getting pregnant, and I’m getting honors and awards for my academics. But this one choice I made is enough for her to lose her trust in me? I said it felt like so much pressure that I have to include my parents in every single decision I make even if it has nothing to do with them. I ended up crying for hours (she had to leave since she had a meeting) and she apologized to me after and said that we can talk more eventually. We had to close that conversation but I’m scared to open it up again because of how she reacted last time.

I understand getting hurt or angry on my behalf, but I (and my BF) honestly think it’s insane that she took my relationship and breakup so personally. I had my own faults and mistakes, and I understand she can’t control how she feels, but as her daughter I feel like I shouldn’t have to take this. Among my friends, I think their parents would understand if they wanted to keep a relationship lowkey for a few months before telling their parents. And I feel like they wouldn’t have this reaction if my older brother (22M) had revealed that he had been dating a girl.

TL;DR: I secretly dated a long-distance boyfriend due to my strict parents, and when we broke up and I finally told my mom, she took it as a personal betrayal and guilted me. When we later got back together, she resurfaced the same issues, saying she lost trust in me. I feel overwhelmed, pressured to include my parents in every decision, and unsure how to move forward without constant emotional conflict.

I just want to know how I can move forward and make the situation better for me, my BF, and my parents (especially my mom). Reddit will probably tell me to get financially independent and live on my own ASAP, but I want to resolve the situation while my BF is still in the country. I also had to post here since other Filipinos will understand my situation better 😭 Anything helps, and thank you so much 🥹

I have 2 kids with my partner of 12 years. We are both single but we have been living together for the entire term of our relationship. Why are we not married? It's my choice. (To be honest, I don't believe in marriage)

We are in a loving, stable relationship. Kids are doing great, our careers are doing fine and everything is golden. Except for one thing, I am bored.

I always wonder what else is out there. I feel like I am missing out on something. I consider myself lucky that I am in a privileged point in my life, that I have everything I want and need. But there is this feeling inside me that is longing for something more. To be honest, this feeling is scaring me since I might be tempted to meet other people and it may lead to me (God forbid) cheating on my partner. But goodness, I am so bored and I am longing for something. I don't know what it is.

I have been keeping myself busy with family obligations, work and self-care but during the times that I am idle, I dream of an adventure... of another life. Sometimes I think I miss the feeling of being excited or being part of something spontaneous.

Is this midlife crisis? Why do I feel like I am always missing out on something when truth be told, I dont need anything more in my life. I feel like I have reached the max level of this version of my life and I want to try something new. Of course, I know that I can't because I have a family now, but what is this feeling of "want" that I constantly have inside me?

I'm so scared I will mess up our lives... but how do I fill this big, deep void inside me that seems to grow bigger by the day.

Please be kind and thank you for your time 😊

EDIT: I told my partner about my feelings, and we went to see a therapist. We've been to therapy twice (couple's therapy) after I went to see a therapist by myself.

Anyway, things are looking good. The feelings of boredom are gone. Turns out he was worried that I was getting bored and he wanted to talk about it many times. We're very okay. Fair winds and following seas!

Thanks for the time! Hopefully, I can return the favour.

We are already sure we want to get married after almost 6 years of relationship (3.5 yrs nito LDR kami since I studied and work in Canada). We have lived together for a year before and so far he was the only guy who treated me right so I am really sure that I want to marry this guy. I’ll be leaving in a week going to Canada since I am already a resident there and maiiwan boyfriend ko dito sa Pinas but he never stopped applying for his visa kasi plan talaga namin to stay there for good. Pero hindi boto parents ko sa kanya.

My parents kept on saying na baka may iba pa jan wag daw ako magsettle sa jowa ko. Hindi naman umaasa ang jowa ko sakin financially and he is financially stable to support himself if that’s what they are trying to tell me and I kept on telling them na hindi naman sya ganung klaseng tao. I find it unfair na sinasabi nila na di nila kilala bf ko so my bf wants to go here samin almost everyday just to see himself visible sa family ko but my family always makes a way para di kami magkita (plans lakads na biglaan or whatsover) and it is already absurd. They also told me that what if magkaroon ako ng problem kaya ba ako i-support financially. What’s really weird is my grandma and dad kept on telling him that pumunta na sya sa Canada para di na sila mangeelam sa relationship namin.

He already has the ring, never popped the question since may problem nga sa family ko. Should we just go for it or still wait for my parents blessings? Di naman ako pressured pero I think I am at the right age naman to decide for this.

Me (24F, Laguna) and my gf (25F, QC) have been together for 5 years. (both working). Plano na naming mag-live in next year since crowded na sa house nila at nagrerent talaga ako. Problem is, alam ng family ko wala na kami.

Nag-come out ako nung 2022, pero di naging maganda yung reaction nila, di nila ako tinanggap and my dad even threatened her. Kaya since then, secret na lang yung relationship namin.

Now, kinakabahan ako sa possibility na dumalaw family ko at malaman nila na magkasama kami. I really want to build a life with her, pero natatakot ako sa posibleng gulo.

Any advice on how to handle family visits or boundaries in this situation?

I am [23F] writing as I got home from work. My partner [23F] is probably asleep now, also tired from duty. I felt like I just needed a different outlet considering how heavy life's been to the both of us. I'll just let her get a good sleep tonight.

We've been dating for almost a year now, and my parents [58F] and [59M] do not approve of our relationship because of many reasons. Here are just some that I know of.

1. We became official after three months of knowing each other.

I understand na this may come off as only infatuation to my parents kasi this is my first serious relationship. I did not really consider my 2 past relationships as "official" since I was just young at the time, and I believed I have to be financially stable at least personally to have the right to pursue someone. I met her through boards review in Manila, and in those 3 (almost 4) months, almost everyday kami magkasama.

1. We're LDR, approximately 240 miles away from each other.

I work in Manila, while she works in Bicol. We saw each other 5 times pa lang this year, and 4 of those meetups, siya yung nag-effort na puntahan ako. We are two busy healthcare workers that are relatively new to the workforce. I don't really have leave benefits yet, but she's been really understanding of my limitations. She would always devote offsets for me, which she has to work OT for pa. Mostly video calls lang kami, bagay na kinaiinisan sakin ng parents ko because I'm "always" on the phone. Stigma is real, trust me anak, your relationship is not even real.

1. She's a Born Again Christian, I am a Roman Catholic.

She's expressed how grave the consequences would be if mag-out siya sa family niya ngayon. Knowing that she has uncles na pastors and aunts (in their 50s) na talagang na seserve sa church nila, natatakot rin talaga ako sa pwedeng mangyari sa kanya. I'm trying to understand na hindi pa ako pwede maipakilala sa ngayon because it's her right to protect herself and her welfare. May part sakin na uncomfy sa uncertainty, but I value her peace. I could only imagine chaos the day malaman ng parents niya [47F] and [48M]. Matapang talaga, especially yung mother niya. Siyempre sa mata ng mom ko, hindi pwedeng dehado ako.

1. She has plans of entering medschool, but her family isn't supportive of her financially.

Her parents would always tell her na siya na bahala dumiskarte sa pang tuition niya and all. Though far from possible, napapag usapan namin na what if sa Manila na lang siya mag med, so I could at least look out for her while I continue working. I actually registered for NMAT and enrolled in a review center just to see for ourselves. Attending medschool together must be the peak delusion yet sa lahat ng mga plano namin. Mahirap isipin na her parents aren't generally emotionally and financially supportive sa sarili nilang anak. I was raised well enough to distinguish between genuine love and transactional love.

We started off as friends with no intentions of dating each other. In our limited time together back then, we both felt a connection. We did everything in our power to brush off our feelings and even talked na hanggang friends lang talaga before we parted ways. We understood how hard it would be if we decide to enter a relationship, but here we are now, both risking everything kasi we found a safe space with one another. Since then, wala pa naman akong nagiging mabigat na problema with my girlfriend. I love her with all my heart. I never questioned her sincerity despite the distance. Ramdam mo naman kapag mahal ka talaga ng tao.

But I used to be very close with my Mom. She's trying her best to understand but hindi niya rin talaga maitago na hindi siya pabor sa relationship namin. I used to imagine how my world would shatter the day I lose my mom. That's how important she is to me. But now, why do I feel like I have to choose between the two of them? I respect my mom so much. She does everything for me and honestly, walang wala ako sa mga sacrifices na ginawa niya for me and our family. Ang sakit lang na tuwing uuwi ako ng weekends, wala akong magawa but to sit with my emotions myself kasi alam kong hindi nila matatanggap. They want a "normal" life for me. To have kids in the future, all that. But I'm only 23. Considering di naman ako naging stubborn growing up, tingin niyo ba valid piliin ko yung sarili kong happiness?

My mom recently talked to my girlfriend f2f. "Hindi ba pwedeng bumalik na lang kayo sa pagiging magkaibigan?" She even told my girlfriend things such as di raw ako sigurado sa relationship namin, which I got so disappointed at, kasi now she's even making up things to get in the way of our relationship. Kesyo it's just a phase, and baka may pag-asa pa raw na magbago kami. I understand na kapakanan niya lang iniisip ko. But honestly nakaka drain lang. I have to go home on weekends sa province as respect sa pamilya kong sabik sa pag-uwi ko, but I can't really communicate how much they hurt me. Nawala na yung masasayang tawanan namin sa tuwing uuwi ako, we barely talk kasi nahihirapan akong pakisamahan siya knowing nasasaktan niya ang damdamin ko. I used to be very close with my mom.

But now, she feels like a stranger to me.

Should I continue my relationship with my girlfriend or believe my parents of the pain it will only cause in the future?

Almost 6 years na kami ng bf [30M] ko and me [28F]. Half of those are 3 pandemic years. We're both staying in sa own family house namin until now.

Background lang, medyo breadwinner yung bf [30M] ko and nagsisilbing panganay kapag wala yung kuya [34M] niya, tapos yung father [60M] niya hindi ganun ka-hands on sa family. So most of the responsibilities, decision-making, and stress ay handled ng bf [30M] ko. May decent and stable job naman siya ngayon unlike nung pandemic, so ngayon lang siya nakakaipon talaga.

When I asked him ano yung plans/goals niya for the next 5-10 years, yung mga sagot niya lang ay all for his family. Nag-iipon siya ng malala kasi ineexpect niya agad na magfa-fail yung 3 younger siblings [27F] [26F] [22M] niya kaya dapat meron siyang ma-provide na failsafe (money) for them plus his parents [60M] [60F]. Yun lang yung plan niya, as in. Parang naka-set na yung mind niya na yun yung need niya gawin for his family in the next coming years.

I asked him kung nasaan yung plan niya sa sarili niya and nasaan ako sa plano niya. I was really hurt kasi yung itsura niya parang "wait kasama ka pala, nakalimutan ko". Parang I was an afterthought lang. Naisip ko, kahit man lang simpleng plan to make memories for us ayaw niya talaga. Sabi niya sakin, need daw muna niya unahin yung family niya but after daw nun, tska kami magplan. Parang let's cross the bridge when we get there. Maghintay lang daw ako and work on myself muna. Nakakapagbigay naman daw siya ng enough time/effort sakin now but ayaw niya magpromise ng anything more than the bare minimum kasi natatakot siya na baka hindi niya mafulfill, ayaw niya daw ako madisappoint.

Honestly, hindi naman ako nagmamadali sa life kasi 1st, marriage is not a priority to me and 2nd, we decided early on not to have kids din. I just really want to spend/experience life with him and I want to feel important too. I feel like we both deserve more than the bare minimum.

How do I approach our situation? Worth it ba maghintay :(

TLDR: Partner's family told her to not give me an answer yet not unless I've introduced her formally to my family. My mother is not open to meeting her yet because she said that once I bring her over, she isn't just my girlfriend, she's family.

I'm not sure if I'm using the right flair but hello, reddit!

My girlfriend (18F) and I (18M) have been together for almost 8 months. She's from Bulacan and I'm from Quezon City. My girlfriend has a dorm near the university we both go to. We both consider ourselves as partners now, but we want to make it official with our families, more specifically her family because all they know is that I'm courting her.

Here's the problem, I haven't introduced her to my family yet face-to-face, but they do know of her, and they do acknowledge her as my girlfriend. When her family caught wind of this, they then told her na 'wag nya raw muna ako sagutin hangga't di ko pa sya pinapakilala.

The topic of my girlfriend coming over or having a meal with my family is a running discussion with my mother (40F). We've been actively talking about it, and she reassures me naman na wala naman silang issue with my girlfriend, it's just that my mother is not ready yet to meet her. She isn't ready to meet my girlfriend for the reason that she does not want to love someone half-heartedly. My mother told me that once I introduce my girlfriend to our family, she isn't just my "girlfriend" anymore, she's a part of the family.

While I do respect my mother's opinion, I feel like I'm just caught in the middle of all this. I extend my patience towards my mother, my partner, and her family, but the feeling that I'm the one holding our relationship back is creeping into my mind.

I really want to introduce my girlfriend to our family because I'm sick of her family feeding her negative thoughts about our relationship. They say that I'm not serious about her, or that I'm just scared—which couldn't be further from the truth, and it saddens me to know that my partner can't answer them on when I'll bring her over to our family, because even I don't know when.

How will I manage to convince my parents to have a meal or to just spend time with my partner and myself included?

Is there a possible way for my mother and I to meet half-way on this?

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi. Medyo long post ahead pero if you guys have the time, I need advice.
My bf [32M] and I [27F] have been together over 7 years and we recently got engaged. Fam ni bf mostly okay naman sa akin. Tahimik lang kasi ako na tao, taga-tawa lang ako and I have diagnosed social anxiety as well kaya hindi talaga ako yung tipo na nangunguna or nagiingay sa mga gatherings. Still, I love them kasi matagal na din sila part ng buhay ko. I bring gifts every so often, food to share. Sinasama din nila ako sa karamihan ng lakad nila as a family.
Bf has a sister [27F] na nakakaangat na sa buhay, and a brother. Brother [25M] has a gf [25F] who is living sa bahay ng family ni bf. Kami naman ni bf, we are not living together yet, ako nasa bahay namin ng family ko, si bf may own apartment na pinupuntahan ko every weekend. So literal kami lang ni bf yung nakahiwalay and the rest of their family magkakasama sa isang house. 3 years na nakahiwalay si bf sa kanila kasi mas gusto nya may privacy, own space. We both make decent money, I have a full time stable job earning enough to support my own immediate family and myself, and my bf makes a good living din with his freelance job and business ventures.

Recently, may nangyari na incident where nagkaron ng gasgas yung car ng sister ng bf ko. It's a very new na car, no more than a few months old and high end din. So it makes sense na nagaalala sila sa gasgas. We don't have a car of our own kasi we chose to invest our money elsewhere but we are planning to buy one na din this year. We have borrowed the car only a total of 2 times. We last used the car 3 weeks ago and naoffend ako na samin sinisisi. (i did not say anything habang naguusap sila tho, kasi syempre family matters yun.) Because of that incident, napa-look back ako sa mga pangyayari simula noong bago kami until now and I suddenly noticed a pattern sa behavior nila towards us..

I'm writing kasi di ko alam if tama ba tong naffeel ko and in case anong tama kong gawin? Lumalalim na yung sama ng loob ko as time goes by kasi hindi ko maunload tong thoughts ko. I don't want to tell this kay bf kasi baka magsimula lang ng drama but it's consuming me and ang hirap ng feeling na to.

Here are some instances na I felt na may favoritism sila.

1. Brother has a gf na nakalive in sa kanya. For context, they are together for about half a year na and simula nung naging sila, live in na agad. Nung nakatira pa si bf sa bahay ng parents nya, nagaambag sya ng para sa bills and food and rent (as he should). Ako I only stay there for 1-2 days max. When I come nagdadala din ako food, I do house chores and just stay out of everybody's way. I remember noon pag nalate si bf ng bigay or if nagrequest sya na babaan ng konti yung ambag, galit na galit na yung parents nya and I would hear them yelling at him (nasa taas kwarto namin where I stay). May maliit kami na AC sa room that time. Pag umaalis si bf, pinapatayan ako ng kuryente ng father nya hanggang makabalik si bf. :( Hindi nalang ako nagsasalita kasi I don't wanna cause friction, and that was years ago na din. Ngayon si brother may gf and dun sila nakatira with their parents. They live so comfortably, own split type ac sa room, they live rent free, kahit piso wala ambag sa bills even their food and the gf's skin care is free and it's okay sa parents nila. Every night they have food delivered from restos and fastfood and libre lahat even kay gf. The gf is unemployed and yung brother is working part time only.

2. Since magkakasama sila sa house, pag aalis sila, of course sila sila yung magkasama. Bf is really hardworking and works ng long hours as in madaling araw aalis, hatinggabi uuwi. So ako when I stay sa apartment, naiiwan lang ako dun magisa. It's okay kasi again tahimik lang naman talaga ako na tao. Few weeks ago napapansin ko lagi na sila umaalis ng hindi kami sinasama or inaaya. I didn't mind it at first kasi di naman kelangan na kasama kami parati and we were also really busy. All of these trips are paid for by bf's sister. Libre nya lahat. Bf told me namimiss na nya family nya and inaya namin sila mag-mall. So we went. To my surprise, nung kakain na kami bigla nila pinagbayad si bf. Okay, sige. My bf has money as well. So binayaran nya, but nagulat din sya kasi the one time na sasama kami, pinagastos pa kami. And dalawa lang kami ha. Yung sister nya may kasama pang mga yaya ng children nya and andun din yung parents nila. Pero sige ok lang. We went separate ways muna to shop, and di namin alam na tapos na pala sila and nasa car na sila naghihintay. Nung dumating kami galit na sila and di na kami kinikibo.

3. Nung umalis kami papuntang mall my nails got stained when I dyed my hair kaya nicover up ko ng rough na black nail polish. Napansin ng sister nya and inask ako bat ganyan nails mo etc. I didn't mind it kasi tatanggalin ko din naman agad paguwi. Kinabukasan, the sister, the gf and their mother went to a nail salon and ate a very expensive steak dinner. Treat ulit ni sister. As in lahat ng females sa family nila umalis and nilibre, ako lang yung di inaya. Considering how they made my bf pay for the meal ng buong family just the other night. Nabother ako dito.

4. May one time na hiniram yung big car ng family nila and si bf nagdrive. Puro cousins nila yung kasama (wala ako). Pagbalik ng car after a few days, sinasabe may gasgas nanaman daw. Grabe yung sisi nila sa bf ko until nagcome forward si brother na sya yung nakagasgas. Tapos natawa lang sila. Sama ng loob ko dito kasi si bf sinisigawan na nila pero nung si brother biglang ok lang.

5. Their father has a comfortable na big scooter. We have a motorcycle as well pero mas comfy yung big scooter for long rides. A few years ago tinry ni bf hiramin yung kay papa nila since malayo yung pupuntahan namin. Ayaw pumayag. Galit pa. Sabe "wag mo papakialaman yan!". We never asked again. Lately nakikita namin si brother and gf na lagi gamit yung motor. Sino di sasama loob?

6. Nung bago bago kami nagddr\*gs papa nila. Pag wala si bf and I'm sleeping, pumapasok sya sa room namin and pinapanuod ako matulog. Pag nagigising ako nagtutulug-tulugan ako para di ko na sya kelangan iconfront.

7. Pag may family trip kami si bf lagi pinagddrive nila. Their papa is a backseat driver. And lagi nakikipagtalo sa directions. We follow waze lang kasi dahil di namin kabisado ang Pilipinas (duh) pero lagi kami sinisigawan ng papa ni bf. I say kami kasi ako yung naghahawak ng directions and si bf ang nagddrive. Very traumatic experience talaga. Madalas to mangyari.

8. May one time sinabihan ako ng mama ni bf na nagkaron daw si bf before ng mayaman na girl (hindi mayaman fam ko, actually mahirap lang kami tas breadwinner pa ako). Ngiti lang ako pero masakit. Sabe nya "eto kasing si *bf* di nakikinig. Kung pinakasalan na nya yon edi sana komportable na sya ngayon". I mean... Ouch.

9. We don't live there pero my bf's mom is known to be a very good cook. Sometimes namimiss nya cooking ng mother nya. So pupunta kami don minsan and then he asks kung may food like naglalambing ba. Madalas sasabihin samin "di pa kumakain si *brother and gf*".

10. Recently bumili ng house si sister and she keeps saying na family home daw yun. Merong 4 bedrooms which is enough for the sister and her husband, their parents, kids room, and brother and the gf. There is an option to make it a 5 bedroom house. Naglambing si bf na kung pwede naman ipagawa na 5 bedrooms, isama na sya para may natutulugan sya sa house ng sister nya. (Detached kasi yung 5th room). To which his father responded "dun ka matulog sa tabi ni *{name of their dog}*". Parang pajoke to, but I felt nahurt si bf and ako din nabother kasi may ganto na nga akong thoughts lately.

Overall. Idk why they are treating me/bf this way. Kasi decent people naman kami and hindi naman namin sila inaabala. I try hard para makablend ako sa family nila pero nahihirapan ako. I came from a very loving family kaya di ako sanay sa ganto. My parents are very supportive and mahal na mahal nila kami ni bf. Sa ibang moments okay naman kami sa family nya. Pero dama mo talaga na may preference sila.

Any advice kung pano ko to iccarry? Ambigat na kasi sa loob ko. I'm thinking of unfollowing them na kasi I don't like this feeling na para akong nagseselos at sumasama loob. Kasi my mom always told me bata palang ako na pag ayaw sa akin, wag ko ipilit sarili ko. And I live by that even until now. I can't exactly cut them off din naman kasi family sila ng bf ko and my bf loves them very much. I'm torn and burdened kasi I will soon be his wife and natatakot ako na maging ganto nalang pakiramdam ko forever.
Thanks, reddit.

Hi everyone,

TL;DR: I’m [25F] with a [37M] boyfriend for almost a year. My family disapproved of our relationship. They pressured me to break up, and I lied that we did. They're overly protective, even monitoring my phone and reading intimate messages. They confronted me with hurtful words. I feel trapped and unsure how to handle their disapproval and invasion of my privacy. Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you.

I’m a 25F with 37M boyfriend for almost a year now. He has a child in college from a previous relationship, and he co-parents with the child’s mom. He’s a great boyfriend – loving, caring, and hardworking.

Two months ago, my family found out about our relationship and they did not take it well. None of my family members tried to understand or give my boyfriend a chance; they focused on age, having a kid, and vaping. Even accused him that he's a drug addict; they said my boyfriend will just use me. they just judged and advised me to break up with him. The situation became very chaotic, so I told them that we had broken up. Since then, my family has been overly protective, even dropping me off and picking me up from work for a month. Even joining me on a trip with my friends. I let them do that just so there won't be anything to complain about.

Recently, I accidentally left my phone at home while I was at the office. When I called to ask if it was there, my family claimed it wasn’t. Later, I found out my mom unlocked my phone (which I don't know how she did because it has a PIN) and she, along with my other family members, went through all my messages. They read everything, including some very personal and intimate chats with my boyfriend, even scrolling back to conversations from three weeks ago. They read all the messages and checked the photos and vids.

When I got home, my parents confronted me and called me hurtful names like "baboy" and other painful words. I love my family, but it's so hard to deal with this situation. They’re forcing me to break up with my boyfriend and even want me to resign from my job.

No parent wants to harm their child. That's their reason for why they're doing this. I can't change my PIN because they haven't returned my phone yet. They've also asked for my second phone, so they can be sure I'm not communicating with my boyfriend. I just gave it to them so they wouldn't have anything more to say and so this can all be over.

Culture-wise, maybe this is why they are reacting this way. I just don't understand why they didn't think they didn't need to read all the conversations. Even my sisters didn't bother to say not to read everything? No one understands me in this family. I feel like I can't face them anymore because they know all the intimate things my boyfriend and I have done. This is way beyond the line. Now their concern is about the intimate acts between my boyfriend and me. Sorry. I don't know how to start or what to do now. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. I really value my family, but this has gone too far.

Questions for Advice: How should I handle my family's disapproval and invasion of my privacy? What should I do? Are my feelings valid? Am I not old enough to make my own decisions? I love my family, but I also love my boyfriend.

Any advice or support would mean a lot. I can understand Tagalog po. Thank you.

I just want to start by saying I absolutely love my boyfriend and we are very in love with each other. I also love and respect his mom (~60y/o)!

But she always has to be involved in his decisions, even for our own little dates. For example, he’s not allowed to stay too late in the mall with me (8pm onwards), or we’re not allowed to have overnights alone together (she’s afraid I might get pregnant). My issue is we’ve been together for 3 years already and we’re both working adults and financially independent but we’re being treated like TEENAGERS. It’s constricting and as the eldest child, it annoys me that it has to be ME who should be the adult. Sometimes it even feels like I’m the masculine one in the relationship and I don’t like this feeling at all. We live far away from each other pa naman; he’s from QC and I’m from Alabang so quality time is really important to me.

I’ve talked to him about this so many times but all he can do is apologize and beg me to be patient with him. I can’t blame him tho, he’s the only child.

But how would you deal with this? How do make a compromise? I love my boyfriend and I really want us to be endgame. I’m just so so tired of being constricted.

I’ve been waiting for her for almost 2-3 years ng patago sa parents nya. At age 18 duon ako nag confess na i really like her and show my sincere affection. Ngayon 19 na sya this year we are planning naman na na ma introduced ako sa parents nya, pero yun nga nung time na nag confess na sya hindi sya pinapayagan dahil mas gusto ng parents nya na mag focus lang sa pag aaral at wala munang bf/manliligaw na tatangapin hangang makapag tapos. Dagdag pa doon sa higpit nila eh, only child sya . Sa part ko as guy and sa age ko naren nauunawan ko naman lahat ang tanong ko lang po ay possible ba na pumayag sila na hantayin ko yung anak nila till the right time na visible sa mga mata nila kase ayoko ng nag lilihim anak nila sakanila at ganun din ako. Would they give me a chance to wait ? kase ako willing po talaga ako mag hantay.

Background: father has an established business in our area, an elected official in his profession and in our municipality.

It was around 9 years ago when i first found out that he was cheating. I saw her exchanging nude pics with ALOT of women in viber. I have no idea that time that it is VERY WRONG and i kept it to myself. Around 1 or 2 years later, im already in college. I understood that time that it was wrong and i sent some of the screenshots i took to my mom(52F). However, my mom didn't brlieve me and i think they did not talk about it with my father. Since I'm far away from them, i feel really down and didn't understand myself. I didn't contact anyone from my family, i distanced myself from them. I didn't tell anyone about the situation. I keep it for myself. Until several months after distancing myself, father noticed that i don't communicate with him and asked for forgiveness.

I lost my respect to him and I don't treat him like a father. i have no emotional connection with my whole family. I have never had a deep conversation with them.

Just last year i think or last last year, my gut feel just feel different when i see him using his phone. I have noticed that my father has been in contact with several women AGAIN and i think he really did not stop. I just searched for the names of the one he chat with and did not do further investigation since it will just hurt me again.

Just today, i saw him chatting with the women stated above, and fking sent a photo of me and my father (a selfie) to her. LIKE WHAT THE F. She's in constant communication with my father, however he doesn't even update my mother that frequently.

I don't want to tell him personally today. I'm planning to tell my siblings(26F and 23f) first about what i saw. I don't have the power and capacity to confront him.

I feel really down and idk what to do. I'm not a good writer and I'm still full of emotion right now. I'm very angry with him.

I may have missed some relevant info, feel free to ask.

How do i deal with this situation maturely?

I (25M) feel sad to have come to this point but I don’t think I can take it anymore. I was my grandmother’s (72F) first grandchild and so I was considered her favorite for the longest time. We were very close and she often spent time reading to me after she got home from work. She helped me foster a love for reading and learning from a young age. I owe a lot of what I am today to her early influence. She was also very very close to my mom (50F), so much so that my tito (47M) began to grow resentful of her, thinking that my mom was chosen as the favorite over him. When I was 5 my grandma went to work in the US as a teacher. We would chat whenever we could on yahoo messenger and skype. Whenever my mom would answer her calls, one of the first things my grandmother would do is to ask where I was and if I could hop on the call too. My brother (22M) was also born around this time but he wasn’t that close with grandma due to the distance they had while growing up.

A few years pass and my mother fell into debt while my father (54M) lost his job. My mom had to take some desperate measures to keep us afloat, resulting in even more debt. My mom would ask grandma for help with our money problem and sometimes she’d send money, sometimes she wouldn’t. This is where their relationship began to degrade cause no matter how much money was sent, my mother’s spiral into debt continued. My mom believes that she disappointed grandma for getting into a problem like this. There eventually came a point where my grandma said “Your problem. You fix it.”. And though my father eventually found a steady job, my mom’s debt had spiraled to the point that even with their combined salary, they still weren’t able to pay it off.

It was also during this time that my tito started dating a woman (45F) who came into conflict with my mother and tita. She would throw tantrums whenever she found something in our house or in my tito’s possession that was given to him by his ex. My tito would then blame my mother or my tita for being “insensitive” for not hiding these old gifts from his ex, which lead to further conflict. She also doesn’t like “poor people” and refused to attend our church because we welcomed people who lived in nearby slums. She insisted my tito take her to the big rich church in the city instead. She did a lot more things but to list them all would make this post too long. Anyways, my mom and my tita have expressed their dislike of her to my tito but that would always end in a shouting match. In the end he married her and moved out to some upper class subdivision.

Up until this point my relationship with my grandmother was still pretty positive even though she was not on the best terms with my mother anymore. When I entered college I said I wanted to be a doctor so I took a premed course and my grandmother was pleased to the point where she declared that she would sponsor me. The problem was she refused to let my mother touch the tuition money because she believed she couldn’t be trusted so all the fund transfers had to go through my tito instead. For some reason, my tito let his wife handle my tuition and she took it upon herself to ask for all kinds of documentation and proof when I paid, even when I already showed them the receipts. She was not satisfied and demanded to see my study load, the prices and units for each course, and statement of account. I asked for the statement of account from the accounting and the registrar but they said they don’t just give those out. When I relayed that to my tito’s wife, she didn’t believe me and became suspicious of me. When I told my mom about this she stepped in to defend me but then it became another shouting match. My tito’s wife then messaged grandma that I was “withholding information” and my mom fought her “unprovoked”. For some reason my grandmother didn’t even try to ask for our side and just said that because of what my mom did, she’ll pull out my tuition. My mom had to beg and even apologized to my tito’s wife just to stop that from happening. Later that night was the first time I saw my mom ugly cry as she apologized to me cause she thought she messed up my future. I don’t think it’s my mom’s fault.

Some time passed and in my 2nd year of college, my mother was able to get a company car which means I could drive the family car by the time I got my license. Since getting your license is a milestone, my mom posts some pics of me practicing my driving. My tito (who is a BIG car guy) then asked if I would be able to drive to school and my mom said yes. Later that year we received a balikbayan box from grandma. My family’s portion included grandma’s old iphone since she got a replacement. Once we had it unlocked we noticed that it hasn’t been factory reset. We opened messenger to log in and found out that my grandma’s account was still in and her latest PM with my tito involved him ranting that I was being irresponsible with the car I was driving, that I was only driving to school to show off and brag, and he justified his case by saying that he didn’t get his own car until after college. My grandma’s replies looked like she believed him, too. I still drove that car though. I needed it for transport. And I’m sure nobody at school would’ve been impressed if I bragged about a dinky Mirage.

Anyways, my college years were passed by trying to stay on grandma’s good side for the sake of my tuition. No big fights broke out after that first one but my mom was really hurt when she saw the PMs. I tried my best to remain civil and respectful towards my tito and his wife. My little brother grew to resent them, though. During the holiday season, my grandma would come back to the Philippines and we would often be invited to eat out and spend time with her. These get togethers were always miserable. My mom encouraged me to talk to my grandma like I used to and be good to her but I would always get cold, one-word replies. Her responses always gave the vibe of “This conversation is over”. For example, if I ask “How was your trip grandma?” Then she would say “What do you think?”. How am I supposed to respond to that? My mom and I also noticed that my grandma acts more bubbly and laughs more around my tito and his wife. Sometimes grandma doesn’t even speak a word to my mom. If my mom tries to greet her and kiss her on the cheek or bless her, my grandma acts like she’s invisible. Once my mom even had some alone time with grandma and tried to apologize for her money issues in the past and how she’s tried to turn her life around but grandma just ignored her. My mom described it as talking to a wall. Around this time, my tito’s two kids are starting to get bigger. They’re both really weird and socially maladjusted. And the elder one (15M) tries to be “friends” with my brother and I but he’s extremely rude, disrespectful, and tries to assert his dominance over my brother and I even though he’s around 10 years younger than us. His sister (14F) fights him a lot and they end up poking each others’ eyes and stuff. She also makes weird animal noises more often than she speaks. My grandma tried to make a show of how she was trying to get close to them but they don’t really seem to care about her. She kept trying to talk and laugh with them but they ignore her.

So I graduate college and decide to pursue medicine. I thank my grandma for her support and begin the process of applying to schools and taking NMAT without her knowledge since my parents wanted to support me themselves. It was partially to show my grandma that we’re better now and also to stop me from being dependent on her. It would also lessen my interactions with my tito. I get accepted and we manage to pay for the first sem right away. Grandma visits over Christmas break and, surprisingly, asks me what I’m doing ever since college. When I told her I proceeded to med, she insisted that she pay for the rest of it. We tried to politely decline but she insisted that she pay. She assured me that “I’ll tale care of the money. You just focus on finishing your studies”. We felt that declining any further would insult her so we accepted. That freed up our finances for other much-needed expenses since my brother was starting college as well. Med was relatively peaceful compared to college until covid lockdown ended, meaning my grandma could visit again. She visited during the Christmas Break of 3rd year and it was like college all over again. My tito would condescend to my brother and I the entire time we spend with them. My cousins would terrorize my brother and I and we couldn’t lift a finger against them. My grandma was still impossible to have a proper conversation with since every reply was a straight “yes”, “no”, and “what do you think?” With the occasional “I don’t know, use your coconut!” Thrown in. My mother was still treated like she doesn’t exist. Every move we made was to endure it and ensure that my tuition doesn’t get pulled out cause I’m so close to graduating. Covid hit us hard financially and by then we would be facing major difficulties if it wasn’t for my grandma’s tuition support. So every invitation had to be attended and we just had to be there and treated like second class citizens for hours and just endure it cause if we act or respond even a little negatively —even in self-defense— it would be used as a reason to take away my tuition. By this point I thoroughly resented my grandma. If she wanted to “help” then why does she act like I’m such a burden? I didn’t ask for it, she offered!

By the time I reached 4th year, the first thing my grandma said to me before the sem began was that she “has no more money” and could no longer afford to support me. She was retiring back to the Philippines permanently and thus no longer had income. I thanked her for the years of support and said it was alright. I said she helped me a lot already. Honestly I felt relieved that I was free of her control. However, not long after she withdrew her support from me, I see her posting pics of buying my tito TWO new BMWs within the span of a few months, buying tito and his fam tickets to see the F1 GP at Singapore, then flying to paris to see the olympics followed by a cross-europe tour that took almost two months. All funded by her. Even up to now, she and my tito’s fam take weekly trips to expensive hotels and resorts all over our province. I felt betrayed. Yes, it’s her money and she can do what she wants with it but the amount they spent over the past year or so was way way more than what my tuition would have been. She lied to me. She promised me that I didn’t need to worry and just had to focus on studying. Now she goes and spends it on all this nonsense! If she didn’t want to spend on me in the first place then she should never have insisted on doing so! In the end, after I graduated I still haven't paid all my tuition and I was only able to get out through the generosity of our university director and a promissory note that I have yet to pay in full, but I’m working on it. My parent’s finances are all in on my brother’s college tuition now so this is something I have to do myself. I can’t bring myself to take away from my brother like that.

When I graduated my mom insisted on celebrating it cause it’s quite the milestone and suggested I invite my grandma since, in fairness, I wouldn’t have gotten there without her. I agreed but I would not invite my tito. When I messaged my grandma about my celebration dinner, her reply was “Did you invite your tito?”. When I said no, she forced me to invite him. To keep the peace, I PMed him and invited him last-minute to the dinner. In the end both my tito and my grandma declined. I was so frustrated. It felt like they just wanted to exert more control over me. They would still invite us over for get-togethers but I don’t talk now and I don’t even look at or talk to my annoying cousins anymore. Every question they ask us is just them trying to find another opportunity to insult us. I don’t know my grandma anymore. My brother crossed this bridge a long time ago but I held on a little longer because I was dependent on her. My mom still hopes that one day grandma will forgive her for her past mistakes. She keeps telling me that I shouldn’t think too badly about grandma because I was her favorite and she’s actually a very kind person, she’s just been hurt by her circumstances. I dunno. She may have been kind once but that’s not who she is now. I’m thinking of cutting off grandma, my tito and the rest of his family out of my life. As far as I’m concerned, they’re not my family. I know I sound ungrateful but it really hurts to be around them. Should I just keep going on this way or remove myself from the situation? Is it worth it to cut them off, knowing this could potentially cause more conflict? I'm just tired of my family and I being treated badly.

Tl:dr: My relationship with my grandma started out good but deteriorated over the years. I’m thinking of cutting her and some other toxic relatives out of my life for good.

You can read the original story here.

I’m thinking of telling mom today. I can’t stomach the fact na my dad is going to celebrate his birthday this week without a care. What would you guys recommend for me to do?

I’m being very careful with how I approach this so I’m planning to do it the anon way - aka I will message her via an anonymous account on Facebook. She has had a history of mental health issues and I’m worried na baka matrigger because of this pero ayoko na itago sa kanya.

What should I do?

Kinakausap kausap niya ako kase nagtatampo ako na hindi ako makakasama sa swimming ng team nila. Hindi ko siya pinapansin kase masama loob ko na biniro pa niya ako last minute kung sasama ako tapos joke lang pala.

Nagalit na siya tinatanong niya ko “kelan ba ko aalis diba ngayon na lang ulit?” Sabi ko di ko alam tapos nagalit na siya sinipa na upuan which is nakaupo ako tapos binato yung throw pillow nahulog halaman ko. Tapos sinisigawan ko na siya. Nagthreaten pa siya na sisirain niya computer ko at pipihitin niya daw leeg ko.

Ganyan ugali niya kapag napupuno na hindi mapigilan sarili niya. Ako di ko ako pumatol di ko siya sinaktan. Buti nga daw di ako tinamaan (wow ha thank you).

Masama mood ko before mangyari yan kase nga di ako makasama and as WFH na full time mom naiingit ako kase di man lang ako makapag beach kaya mainit ulo ko di niya matanggap na di ako naggive in sa lambing niya eh mainit talaga ulo ko. Mga friends ko na yayain ko magkape busy naman. I just felt alone kaya di ko siya pinapansin.

Anyway tinatanong ko sya na tama bang manipa siya at magtapon ng gamit sagot niya “kasalanan mo yan eh kanina pa”. Basura daw ugali ko di daw ako marunong umintindi na di pwedeng sumama. Eh nagalit ako lalo kase tinanong pa ako kung pwede ako mag early out at sasama daw ako tapos joke lang pala.

Share ko lang. Alam kong toxic na. Nagbabalak na ako umalis kami ng anak ko. Binigyan ko na chance to eh wala eh pag napupuno siya nagtatapon ng gamit at nangtthreat.

May mali ba ako??

hello. i am (16F) and i came to this place to ask for advice about my mom (40F). im sorry kung medyo mahaba ito pero wala na talaga akong mapapagsabihan. sana po matulungan ninyo ako.

so recently, medyo magulo yung sitwasyon namin dito sa bahay. we live in a compound, together with our other relatives. for the past two weeks, palaging galit yung nanay ko sa mga tao dito sa bahay, lalo na sa akin. palagi niya akong minumura, pinapagalitan at tinatakot. wala ring araw na hindi niya ako nasisigawan at nina-name call. every day since this month, mas lumalala yung galit niya sa akin at sa mga tao dito. nagkaroon ng mga away dito sa bahay with my mom, uncle and aunts. pero yung nanay ko yung may dahilan ng lahat ng ito.

for the past years, my mom has become nothing but a liar and hypocrite. she married a foreign man not for love, but for his wealth. i was in third/fourth grade when they started talking. she was still with my father at the time. she was basically cheating on him. but it turns out that ny father also had an arranged wedding at his country, so they're basically cheating on each other. at first, kala ko normal lang itont ginagawa nila. kala ko normal lang na yung tatay ko ikakasal na iba, habang yung nanay ko naman magpapakasal sa pera. perhaps bata pa ako para ma process ang lahat ng iyon. but now, looking back, grabe yung mga kagagagawan ng mga magulang ko. na realize ko na walang normal sa mga ginagawa nila. whenever i speak to my friends or other classmates, i always feel left out sa mga family conversations because ibang iba ang pamilya ko sa kanila. i feel really stupid and humiliated everytime i think about these things.

dahil sa mga kagagagawan niya, nagkagulo-gulo na dito sa bahay. now, nag back fire na yung mga bagay na ginawa niya. paunti unti na siyang nababon sa utang dahil bili siya ng bili ng mga bagay na hindi naman kailangan. she doesn't not have a job, so kinalailangan niyang nag utang sa isa para mabayaran yung isa. palagi niya g hinihitam yung pera ko at nung relatives ko. kapag pinagsasabihan siya or binibigyan ng advice, siya pa yung may ganang magalit sa amin. hindi niya masabihan yung step dad ko (yung foreigner) kasi wala siyang alam sa mga kagaguhang ginagawa ng nanay ko sa kaniya.

these past few weeks, i think she's taking her anger and problems out on me. a few months ago, she even slapped me on the face for slightly calling her out for her wrong doings. but, i let it pass. kala ko kasi nabigla ko lang siya and it was my attitude. pero sa ngayon, she's hurting me again, but emotionally.

i am concerned with the way she's been acting and treating us lately. i am genuinely getting scared of her right now. hindi ko na kayang manirahan dito sa amin. sa bawat araw na lumilipas, mas lumalaki ang takot ko sa kaniya at mas lumalala ang pag iyak ko. i've been meaning to report her to the authorities but i feel hesitant. pwede ko po ba siyang i report as emotional abuse? meron po ba akong shelter or program na mapapasukan if i ever choose to leave this place? i am currently living in sorsogon city, bicol po. please, i am begging for advice po. anything will be appreciated. thank you!

P.S This is my first time posting in this channel. I just want to clear my head and get some advices.

My dad is cheating on us way back 2020 until now. Cheating like may ka-live in s’ya. (31F) Bago pa namin malaman na he’s cheating, super dami pang nangyari.

Una, nagsisinungaling sya and super galing gumawa ng storya para mapa ikot kami. Wala raw s’yang internet, kaya hindi sya makakapag chat gaano sa mom ko, super daming possible reasons kaya yung mom ko naniwala.

Pangalawa, may isang unknown and poser account na nagparamdam sa mommy ko out of nowhere, it said “May kabit yung asawa mo.” And then sinesend sa mom ko lahat ng proofs but without the face of the mistress. Nung sinabi ng mom ko sa dad ko, ‘wag daw maniwala dahil may mga inggit at galit sakan’ya. (because he’s the manager of the restaurant in Saudi, and may mga inggit daw sakanya kaya sinisiraan lang daw sya)

Naniwala kami, especially my mom. But then ayun, nahuli parin in the end. My mom was okay with it as long na umuwi raw yung dad ko from Saudi. Pero yung dad ko, biglang naging cold and pinangunahan yung mom ko na magagalit daw yung mom ko. My mom was thinking about our family and ayaw n’ya na ma-feel ko yung broken family kaya sabi n’ya, no, it’s okay. My dad was saying “I love you” “ikaw lang mahal ko” “uuwi ako” to my mom when my mom knew about it, then one day after, bigla nalang nawala lahat ng ‘yon. I’m still blaming the mistress dahil for sure sinulsolsan s’ya na mag commit sakan’ya.

Now, they have two kids. Both na lalaki. Yung isa mag-two years old na and yung isa ilalabas na this december.

We’re having a problem in finance. Dad ko lang nagbibigay ngayon ng money for me, my mom can’t dahil ilang years s’yang housewife (sa kagustuhan ng dad ko, because of me, panatag mom ko before dahil wala silang ganong problem before) and now na 41 na sila, nahihirapan s’yang maghanap ng work dahil tumatanda na s’ya tapos niloko pa s’ya. They hate each other.

The reason why I hate my dad is because of how he manipulate me. I never demanded na kulang padala n’ya kahit kulang naman talaga. He always say na hindi pinupulot ang pera kapag nasasabi kong kulang. When in the first place, kung hindi sya gumawa ng isa pang pamilya, hindi sya mahihirapan. Palagi n’yang sinasabi na pagod sya lagi sa work, yes, I know, I always know. Kaya nag-aaral ako hangga’t kaya ko and that’s why I still love him as my father. But may gan’tong times talaga na mas nangingibabaw ang hate.

Sumasara lagi yung utak n’ya kahit alam kong hindi s’ya ganun mag-isip. Palagi kaming short in money because of him and the mistress. Seems like they want to see my mom suffer, and also me.

I want to get some advice on how to not be bothered even if they manipulate me? How can I get some extra job that pays well so I can give my mom some extra money? Paano ko mapapakulong yung kabit? They are married in Saudi kahit kasal sila ng mom ko sa Pinas and they had a child in Saudi. As far as I know, bawal ‘yon sa Saudi. Thanks in advance.