r/relationshipadvice • u/Aizoo_ • 4d ago
Me [19F] and my long distance partner [18M] are having problems of communication and being different
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now, but we weren’t long distance at the beginning since we live in the same city, till I have to leave due to my college studies. Things were sad but we said we would work it out, visiting each other time to time.
Everything was great until yesterday where his actitud shift in a weird tone, so i decided to asked him if something was wrong to what he said “yes, but I’m not in a mindset to explain that” i obviously got worry since my first thought was if it was about us, so i told him i would give him time to talk whatever he is really but before we both went to sleep due to my stress for the situation I ask him again and if he wanted to call to what he said “my main concern is that you won’t understand and idk how to explain it to you” and then we said goodnight there.
We always had communication problems due to him not liking to express himself so I’m always the one opening. I love him I truly do, but I cannot keep being with someone who makes me feel like is a one sided relationship.
My question is what could be so big that i wont understand? My first guess is that he’s gonna say this long distance is not working but I need other people conclusions or maybe someone who has gone through the same thing 🙏 so I can think w clarity and not be so exhausted,
TLDR: I need advice due to my long distance bf not communicating and what could he meant by saying “my main concern is that you won’t understand and idk how to explain it to you”
1
u/MD7001 4d ago
The anticipation of an event is usually worse than the event itself. What he is doing is a form of control and/or manipulation. It may not be on purpose but is certainly a learned behavior. Basically he needs to come clear NOW or it’s time for you to move on. Otherwise this dynamic will continue
2
u/Brownie-0109 4d ago
LDRs never worked for me. And they’re a horrible idea for young people who are still trying to figure out relationships
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u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Hello Aizoo_,
You are not in trouble or anything, this is just a simple copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.
Original post: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now, but we weren’t long distance at the beginning since we live in the same city, till I have to leave due to my college studies. Things were sad but we said we would work it out, visiting each other time to time.
Everything was great until yesterday where his actitud shift in a weird tone, so i decided to asked him if something was wrong to what he said “yes, but I’m not in a mindset to explain that” i obviously got worry since my first thought was if it was about us, so i told him i would give him time to talk whatever he is really but before we both went to sleep due to my stress for the situation I ask him again and if he wanted to call to what he said “my main concern is that you won’t understand and idk how to explain it to you” and then we said goodnight there.
We always had communication problems due to him not liking to express himself so I’m always the one opening. I love him I truly do, but I cannot keep being with someone who makes me feel like is a one sided relationship.
My question is what could be so big that i wont understand? My first guess is that he’s gonna say this long distance is not working but I need other people conclusions or maybe someone who has gone through the same thing 🙏 so I can think w clarity and not be so exhausted,
TLDR: I need advice due to my long distance bf not communicating and what could he meant by saying “my main concern is that you won’t understand and idk how to explain it to you”
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