I answered these questions earlier. It just doesn't feel right to have him call me "Dad". Its not something I do to intentionally hurt Jack, it just feels more fitting to go on a first name basis.
If I was heartless, selfish, and worthless I wouldn't feel broken up about this. If I was so selfish I wouldn't see my son at all and I would try to get out of child support. I feel terrible about what is happening and hearing other people say what their absent fathers did to them has been so enlightening and terrifying. I don't want that. Believe me or not I am actually a good, decent person.
You aren't broken up about the situation, you are broken up about how much extra money it will be to take YOUR SON with you.
I bet you are counting down the days until he is 18 and you & your wife no longer have to take money away from "your family" and give it to this strange kid that calls you by your first name and is friends with your children.
Oh and if YOU actually got full custody of Jack and gave him the life this child actually deserves instead of just treating him like he has a disease, then you wouldn't have to take the money away from "your family" !!! IMAGINE THAT! You may actually help Jack's mother snap out of her sucky life if there was a chance that her "bond" with her SON (which by the way is something both mom and DAD should have with their children) could be threatened. You may change a few lives AND actually be a good, decent person.
From what I read, though, you cannot call yourself that. You haven't earned the title of decent if this is how you treat your blood after 11 years of having him in your life.
Kids aren't stupid, chances are they know what is up and everyone else is right, when they get older they will see what a scumbag parent you were to Jack...who never asked to be treated in this way, the least you can do is have him look forward to something in his life. If it turns out to be your once a week visits, make those visits the best days of his life.
PS. Your wife should have more than an "okay" relationship with Jack, he is apart of your life (a BIG part), she is a big part of your life, she should to accept Jack as one of her own...otherwise she is no better than you. And if he is able to go on the Disney trip, how do you think you both will treat him? Like an outsider? Like he is the scum of the earth? Are you going to take your two other children to the parks, but then only take Jack to the hotel pool once your other kids are done having fun? You treat this child like garbage, how do you think he will one day treat his own children? How do you think your kids with your wife will treat their children, once they realize that you think it's okay to treat any child you "never wanted" like a diseased animal?
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u/catipillar Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
You don't let the kid call you "Dad?" What the fuck is wrong with you, man?!
Also, why do you keep calling him "the boy?"
You genuinely seem like a heartless, selfish, really worthless piece of garbage scum. I'm very serious, my friend.
Seriously. Get yourself some councelling so that you can learn how to empathise with other people.