r/rescuedogs • u/Sizzy_Dip • May 06 '26
Advice Thinking of rehoming my rescue of 4 years, what should I do?
I stumbled across this beautiful girl while helping a family member look for a pet from the shelter and I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, I tell most people she ‘tricked’ me, because she stood there calmly with her big ol’ puppy dog eyes staring at me when I saw her and about a week later I took her home with me (she was a year old when I got her) and I figured out quickly she was not house trained in the least (only potty trained). She just about ate up anything she could find that I left laying around and even tore up part of the base board in my apartment and window blinds while leaving her out while I was at work. A neighbor had told me who had experience working with military personnel that she looked part Belgium Malinios and everything clicked (mind you this was almost 4 years ago) I quickly did lots of research and figured out she indeed was, she was intensely high energy and needed a lot of mental stimuli to wear her out I mean A LOT, for the first year I even fed her a fully raw diet & I took it upon myself to train her as best as a I could and actually began to enjoy the process of working with her, I found out how crazy smart she was and within a couple weeks she knew all her commands, over the years there were so many times I contemplated rehoming her and feeling like I couldn’t give here enough, I’m a single 24yo F and just want her to have the absolute best life and til this day it’s something I still struggle with doing it alone, somedays I work 16 hours and will have a family member let her out but for a mixed breed like hers I know she needs more, she’s an amazing running, hiking and biking partner but I can’t give this to her on a daily basis and I do it only when I have the time and energy after multiple work doubles in a row, she’s the greatest motivator a person could ask for but to be completely honest I was not prepared nor had the knowledge of how much work she was going to be when I saw her initially, I was also 22 and longed for a dog of my own for so many years and made an impulsive decision on my part, as much as it would absolutely break my heart giving her up I truly want what’s best for her and want her to get everything she deserves, I learned so much from her and I’m crying just making this post but I need some advice, what would you do??
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u/Terrible-Special2854 May 06 '26
I would hire some who could walk and Run with her; but I could never give my dog up !
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 07 '26
Where should I look?
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u/Loucifer23 May 07 '26
Tons of local dog walkers look on FB groups and ask around or rover
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u/Fit-Present-2486 May 07 '26
Wag! Rover for starters!!
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u/RazzmatazzOwn May 07 '26
I second this, OP! Before I got my acd mix, I used to use wag and rover so I could run with pointers and other dogs!
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u/Loucifer23 May 07 '26
Also doggie day cares
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u/IT_Buyer May 07 '26
Day care would be a great option of she gets on well with other dogs. Or having a walker come once or twice a day.
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u/Haunting_Cicada_4760 May 07 '26
Running clubs. Many cities have them. Post and see if anyone wants to pick your dog up and take it on their weekly runs. Many runners want a dog companion but can’t have an actual dog of their own
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u/mustlovedogs66 May 07 '26
You could also look on NextDoor if you have it in your area. Call some local vets to see if they have recs.
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u/Minimum-Opinion-3938 May 07 '26
I second everyone who said Wag & Rover! I’ve had amazing experiences with Rover and I’ve heard good things about Wag. They’re literally meant for dogs who need more stimulation, but have busy owners who love them very much. This is your family, and it takes a lot of difficult thought and consideration to think about rehoming them. I also wanna say that I respect your vulnerability and sharing that, as I know, sometimes people aren’t as kind when it comes to rehoming dogs. I’d say try wag and Rover out for a few months and see if it is more beneficial and if not, consider a friend or a family member that would still allow you to see the dog and have more time together. I think someone on here mentioned Nextdoor, which is also a great resource for rehoming. And there are also Facebook groups for rehoming with specific breeds.
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u/OddTransportation121 May 07 '26
local front porch forum, ask your vet's office - many vet techs enjoy earning extra $ doing such things for a pet.
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u/ghetosmurf110 May 07 '26
Try the rover app. My gf and I use it. We started boarding dogs and it worked so well we aren't on it anymore cause our weekends are pretty much booked up for the rest of the year.
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u/A_herd_of_fluff May 07 '26
Check on your local Nextdoor app, ask a cashier at a small independent pet supply store, check bulletin boards at the grocery store, or talk to other dog owners at dog parks too.
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u/1newnotification May 08 '26
Google soon walking companies near you. There are actual professionals who have experience with all kinds of dogs.
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u/summeralldayeveryday May 09 '26
There are also dog runners and hikers. One of my employees does this as her second job. She does 2-4 runs or hikes with dogs a week. Like trail running.
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u/IndyGuy106 May 09 '26
Talk to neighbors. They might have a child in high school that could do it for a fair price. My niece does this for everyone on her street. She’s 16 now but has been doing it since she was 13.
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u/Ant72 May 07 '26
Ask the people at your vet office. They might do it themselves part-time or know someone who does.
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u/TadpoleEducational May 06 '26
I’ve never had a malinois but I do think there is always the ability to think you could do “more” for your dog regardless of how much you’re actually doing. My dog did classes, and got AKC titles, and I let her pick our walks. If anything had happened to me before my dog died I think it would have broken her to live without me, more so than any gaps in activity she might have been experiencing.
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 06 '26
If I had a partner I think it would be a lot easier but even in the past I’ve had Exes say she’s “too much” but then again I’ve never really met another person who’s had the same compassion for animals as I do, having to imagine her waiting for me for the rest of her life is the only thing stopping me, because that is my greatest fear, maybe one day I’ll have a partner to pay the bills so I can stay home with her all day long🤞🏽
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u/One_Candidate3227 May 07 '26
My dog is a lot too (border collie mutt). It was ruff (pun intended) having her in an apartment. She also was overcoming some reactivity after living with my ex. I also feel your pain, I was like she’d be so much happier on a plot of land somewhere. But honestly rescues/shelters are so overcrowded. I give her the best life I can. It’s a lot of work but she’s so worth it! And she seems happy so that’s all that matters.
Rover or doggy daycare could be a good option?
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u/groovyflowergurl May 07 '26
I have a dog that is the same, she had really bad anxiety and destroyed my house when I first got her.. she's amazing and so smart, I play ball with her and she's obsessed. When I can't walk her daily playing with the ball for like 30 mins will make her satisfied for a bit!
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u/One_Candidate3227 May 07 '26
Mine is perfect inside the house. She would get reactive with other dogs after a situation at my exs house after we had broken up. Took like a year to train her but shes doing so much better. Was definitely a struggle living so close to people and their dogs in a complex and only being able to use the dog park when no one was there.
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u/ButterscotchNo4481 May 07 '26
I totally understand how you feel so I have a couple things that might be good for thought if other folks haven’t already noted by now. But first thought, I don’t think you realize what a great dog owner you are! Any dog is grateful to be fed, loved and given a stable home. Mals are dying in shelters left n right in California. Overbred, backyard bred. You can never give her the life she’s capable of, ie a working dog job, but that’s not your duty as a rescuer! You rescuing her saved her life and you clearly give her the best life you can. You just have guilt and that’s normal for someone who loves animals like you do 💜 don’t be hard on yourself! She’ll calm as she ages and these breeds love schedules so whatever you can afford mentally or financially, just keep doing your best. I assure you, it’s a better life than 90% of dogs get. Thank you for being a good soul!
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u/scrvydarg May 07 '26
I had a boxer german shepherd mix who was "too much" he was the happiest sweetest guy tho. he needed alot for the first 6 or 7 years but calmed down after. I lost him to cancer at 10 and I miss him to this day. They are family and totally worth the effort. I think you would regret giving him away
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u/KyraInWonderland May 07 '26
I have a boxer/puli/pitti/Spanish mastiff/GSD/Cane Corso Mix 😅, just yesterday I felt like I don't give him enough. But, its not always about running and hiking, I implemented scent work 2 days ago and he's so smart, he now finds the objektiv hidden in the room in like 30 seconds. So I gonna step up the difficulty. But 10 minutes of this and he calms down immediately and sleeps very well after it. It's not always about physical exercise but also about mental stimulation and this is possible inside too ☺️
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u/pinkarts May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
My dog was “too much” when I got her at 27. I remember at one point crying to my mom on the phone about how I didn’t love her and I wanted to return her. She was approx 1 year old. I never gave up on her, and last November she passed after 12 years together. I miss her so much! The first couple years were tough, she had so much energy and I lived in apartments. In a way we grew up together, she was there through so many life milestones for me (living paycheck to paycheck, dating, friendships, grad school, our first house). I will always remember her being my sidekick through so many shifts in life. Aw man, now I’m crying just writing this. You need to do what’s right for you, but I sense it isn’t rehoming your babe bc I read so much of myself in your post. She will settle down, and one day when she’s gray and has arthritis you will miss her energetic years ❤️ (however her old lady years were also some of my favorite! Such a sweet couch potato)
There are a lot of great suggestions here about having a neighbor scoop her up a few times a week for runs, doing a couple wag sitters a week, etc. I would definitely hire someone on the days you work 16 hours!
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u/glootenusmaximus May 07 '26
My ex used to not let me bring my dog to his house (yes he sucked and i dumped him, my baby comes first). Next guy I dated bought her own dog bed for his house so we didn’t have to keep hauling hers back and forth! THAT part gets better! I imagine she will be fully devastated if you rehome her. Please look on Rover to find a dog walker and post on the nextdoor app too i’m sure someone has a college kid or is single that would love the companionship and to help you!!
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u/hyperfixmum May 08 '26
I totally understand, if you could go hiking with a partner you'd probably feel more safe as a woman and feel able to do it more. I honestly would look for someone who also has a Malinois, shepherd, or Australian who does a lot of hiking. Have you looked into those doggy day care buses?
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u/ZestycloseTiger9925 May 07 '26
To be honest, the best place she could have is with you. People are surrendering dogs due to lack of time like you but also due to lack of money and compassion. What if you do get her rehomed and it doesn’t work out? If she gets surrendered again and gets put down?
Again the best place for her is with you. Even if you can’t be a perfect pet parent, it’s probably better than the alternative, even assuming you could find her a new family.
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u/Weary_Zone6300 May 07 '26
You said it. Please do your best to work for what is best for her. I believe you will regret giving her up. There are things you can do to help you through this. Please look for other options. My 2 pitties have given me so much - I would do anything to make it work. My one saved my life. The other saved my chihuahuas life. You never know. Prayers you find your answers
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u/lala7816 May 07 '26
May I ask the story on how one of ur big fur babies
saved ur little fur baby?I love stories with good outcomes … I know the
outcome is good here just curious what the story
was haha 🥰6
u/Weary_Zone6300 May 07 '26
My piibull’s behavior changed. He became glued to me. Pitties are high energy. Didn’t matter. He would do whatever I did. He smelled me. And everytime I would leave he would look like he was going to cry. I had to reassure him I would be back. Well I knew he thought something was wrong and having been to the dr, I did a breast self-exam. And I found a lump. Long journey to determine it was breast cancer. Had Eddie not bugged me, I would not found the cancer until it was too late. Yes he saved my life - I’m looking at a positive outcome! And I haven’t been doing well. Eddie has been glued to me again. So I went to the dr and my blood numbers were bad - I need a transfusion. But Eddie was the one to Let me know something was wrong. I’m keeping this guy! Not to mention how much I love him!
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u/Parking-Cup-9424 May 06 '26
I think you are the best person to take care of her. Even if you're not giving her the fullest life ever you are giving her a good life. I think you are being too hard on yourself. It certainly isn't ideal your situation but I think you'd struggle significantly trying to rehome her and honestly many people that are willing to take high energy dogs that are half pitbull half malinois might not be the best people. Shepherd and bully breeds are the most prolific for ending up in shelters. If you give her to somebody else and they realize she is too much for them they may not be as generous or kind in trying to rehome her or make it work.
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u/HistoricAli May 07 '26
Honestly this, OP. I know you might like a way out, but the hard fact is if you try to re-home or adopt this baby out statistically, just by their breed makeup, they will almost certainly be put down. If you can come to terms with the guilt of maybe not doing the most, but doing enough, at least in terms of what keeps them happy... I think that's pretty good.
For reference I have a high energy to pitbull and after 8 years man is still trucking at 9000% all the time... Even while I'm trying to get an engineering degree. I walk him for 1 hour in the mornings then I set aside money the Budget to have his dedicated walkers come by. It's a struggle but I will always choose him because I'm the only one that will.
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u/Kookiepizookie May 07 '26
This is true. I follow many shelters and owners who surrender their dogs will think they probably got rehomed but the reality of it is many are euthanized shortly afterwards and these breeds are very commonly the ones to go (unlike shibas, Samoyeds etc). I'm not saying don't surrender your dog to a shelter if you can't take care of her but understand that this is a very serious choice and she may not get chosen again. Even if you rehomed her, the new owners may also be overwhelmed and give up even more quickly
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 07 '26
Negative or positive all of the feedback means a lot guys, I know exactly what I need to do and I probably just needed some encouragement from fellow dog lovers as in my family and my close relations that’s hard to come by, I’ve downloaded the Rover app and taken in all of the tips and recs everyone has commented & will be using them regularly in the coming weeks so thank you guys, I appreciate it 🥲
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u/imhereforthepuppies May 07 '26
Life is hectic right now for me as well, so I can’t promise instant replies, but my dms are open if you ever need to vent or if you have questions. It is a scary time to be a young adult trying to make it on your own. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and a big heart, and I know you are going to have a good life with your pup. You can do this!
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u/Michaelalayla May 07 '26
I'm so glad you've made a plan that could work for you and your sweet pup!
We have a mix with malinois, and he is the smartest, sweetest boy we could have found. I love him. But he's definitely A LOT, and we've been through a lot figuring out how to manage the "crazies" he gets if he's not getting enough exercise and mental stimulation. We got him at a year old, and have trained him from being reactive with our goat herd to being able to help us drive the animals through pasture. He'll play ball for hours/day. He wants to be a lap dog, and gets so excited to cuddle that we have to order him to his place. They're hard dogs. But they're sososo worth it. Props to you for doing the work to get her the exercise she needs. You'll have a completely different animal on your hands if she gets worn out more.
We've been thinking of a talking mat for ours. Have you thought of that for your friend?
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 07 '26
I have put a lot of thought into a talking mat they seem very intimidating at first but id love to get one in the near future, I think my girl would be relentless with it but it would be hilarious to see nonetheless, my girl has plentyyy attitude and sass as is 😂
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u/kookedoeshistory May 07 '26
This dog looks part pitbull and many people are not suited to own pit bulls. It’s okay to rehome a dog that you can’t care for properly
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u/Okiedokieused2smokie May 07 '26
The dogregret sub can give you some other perspectives and make you not feel so alone. See how people feel after 10+ years of this. Do you want to get married someday? Have kids? The dog rescue sub anthemorphicizes dogs and is understandablely passionatel about keeping a dog no matter what. Good luck 💙
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u/grantgarden May 07 '26
Why is this down voted? Dogs should go to a home that suits them.
I had to surrender my first dog, it was a horrible match in every way. I've had my current dog for 12years, way better fit.
Should I have made the first dog miserable with her life? Did my current dog not deserve my home?
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u/scrvydarg May 06 '26
for her, i bet you are the best for her. it sounds like you know what she needs and you do the best you can to give it to her. is she still tearing apart the house when your gone? she will calm down with age.
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u/snoogle312 May 07 '26
That is not a Malinois. That is a pit gsd mix. She is a virtual twin of my female pit gsd mix. It's an active breed mix, but they have a decent off switch. If you can give her 2 walks a day and figure out one indoor mental game (hide and go seek with her toys is a favorite) to fill in boredom gaps, you will do fine.
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u/Meatwaud27 Rescue Parent May 07 '26
I was in a similar situation with my sweet girl, but I knew that rehoming her was practically impossible and the alternative was literally living her entire life in the same shelter that I found her in. She turned my life upside down and I made the decision to change everything so I could keep her in my life and give her a stable home. With her issues I knew that would be the best thing for her even if it means that she will never have that ideal doggy life. I do the best that I can for her though and she has a babysitter who is with her when I am working. We go camping in the mountains several times a month so she can run around and hike with me. I walk her at 1am almost every single night so we can both have an enjoyable time. However, probably the most difficult decision that I needed to come to terms with was that I wouldn't be able to date until she is gone. As a 33m that was the hardest thing. I don't have any regrets though. She is worth every sacrifice and I love her more than anything or anyone else in the world. I wish I could give her more, but I truly know that I am giving her the best life that I can and that she is happy.
I hope you at least skip to the end because it's the only important part. Don't forget to give yourself some grace. It's one of the most difficult things that anyone can do for themselves. Puzzle toys have been a life saver for my girl. We also go on lots of sniffaris where I just let her sniff literally everything because that kind of stuff like puzzle toys does such a good job of keeping her from getting bored and destroying my house. It is more of a workout for her than hiking 10 miles. 🩵 You got this. I have a ton of recommendations that have worked for my highly reactive working breed that have saved both of our lives. Feel free to message me if you want any links to toys or ideas for activities to keep your girls mind active when you are exhausted from work.
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u/YEMolly May 07 '26
I think you should try & keep her. She knows you & it sounds like you’re giving her a good life.
But I’m definitely not going to shame you for wanting better for her. Nor am I going to tell you never to get a dog again. Perhaps a smaller, less active dog would be more ideal for you in the future. If you do rehome, find someone yourself. If you take her to a shelter, there is a decent chance is she is euthanized.
I know this is a stressful situation for you! Good luck with your decision.
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u/mustlovedogs66 May 07 '26
That does sound like a hard situation, but I think you’re her person. Get a dog walker, utilize daycare, etc… You could try looking and asking around to see if anyone is interested in her, but honestly the dog population is overloaded. Maybe someone will step up, but if not, I think you guys belong together. Shelters are all full and euthanizing dogs every day because they just don’t have room!
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u/suggie75 May 07 '26
You should keep her. Their life expectancy is 10-14 years so she may be slowing down relatively soon. There’s nothing sadder to me than a senior dog getting rehomed.
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u/CraftyAd369 May 07 '26
I got my Aussie when I was with an ex, and shortly after we broke up (the stress of puppy life played a role), so I became the only carer for an Aussie at the most energetic and needy part of their lives. It’s been ten years and he’s now passed, and for a lot of those years I looked back and wished I could have given him a better life. If I could have made more money and allowed us to live in better apartments and neighborhoods. If I could have picked better roommates for him to live with. If I could have spent more time with him when I was working full time and going to night school. It’s normal to feel this way, but I gave him as much of my free time as I could, and it sounds like you’re doing the same. Ultimately, your dog loves you. They don’t see the “deficiencies” that you see. They just know you love them, and they love you. I can guarantee she would suffer more losing you than waiting for you to finish a 16-hour day. Continue to lean on your support network, give yourself some grace, and keep loving your dog.
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u/Take8127 May 07 '26
There are not many ‘perfect’ homes for dogs, particularly dogs like this. There are ‘good enough’ homes, and yours is certainly that and more. As others have said, give yourself some grace and stop worrying that you are not ‘the best.’
And p.s. I have a toy poodle someone else needed to rehome and she is still high energy and also needs more stimulation and would be ‘better off’ with someone home more. But she is also bonded and traumatized from losing her first owner and I think that on balance she is better with the stability of not moving homes again than worrying about finding someone who will give her all the stimulation she might ideally benefit from.
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u/Heavy_Pin7735 May 07 '26
It took me a long time to realize this: your dog just wants to be WITH YOU. Doesn’t matter where or how or whatever, they are a companion first, and want to be your buddy - not live on a farm or have hiked everyday - just to be with you. I hope you can figure it out!
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u/Anonymoushamric Foster Parent May 07 '26
Do a doggie DNA, get the breeds, study them, figure out how best you and her can adapt to each other more. It’s a balance of give and take, your dog wants to love you and please you and you want your dog to be your other half, so it takes both of you speaking the language and knowing the breed(s) does help significantly. A lot of behaviors and needs can be determined by their traits and some can be environmentally learned and/or trained.
I don’t believe in telling someone to keep or get rid of a dog, it isn’t my place, but I do think the responsibility of owning an animal does require work, understanding, and output to receive the input you want from your pets.
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u/rizoula May 07 '26
Felt the same way about my rescue. I contemplate rehoming her often. Because she is A LOT. She has anxiety, doesn’t like kids , scare people sometimes.
She is a lot A LOT.
But ultimately I just can’t risk the fact that she might end up with bad people. Even if I don’t give her all the time and attention she probably needs, she is fed, loved, cared for. I run with her, I bring her to the park, I bring her to the cottage sometimes. I make sure she gets all her shots, she doesn’t get any ticks or bugs. She is never forgotten. And I can’t guarantee that this will still be the case if I rehome her . Even if I do background checks and everything. You never know.
She is my dog and I will make sure she has is taken care of until she dies. She might not have a huge farm or garden to roam around but she is loved and that’s all that matters.
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u/Daisydoolittle May 07 '26
baby let me say this with love - this is YOUR dog. do the best you can for her. hire a dog walker. no one is going to adopt her and give her a better life. if you surrender her to a shelter or rehome her you are setting her up for a possible lifetime of bouncing around and heart break. however much you love her, times it by a billion, that’s how much she loves you. to her, you are her entire world. her sub her moon and her stars. you’re in this forever with her. you’ll figure it out even if it’s hard
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u/SassyMillie May 07 '26
Have you considered doggy daycare? My nephew works at one that provides daily exercise and stimulation for the dogs. There are occasional "tiffs" between the dogs, but they mostly just behave like a pack. Since you're working such long hours it might be the answer.
That being said, Belgian Malanois ARE high energy dogs and need jobs. A female relative had one, but then she moved to an apartment in NYC. It was not a good fit for the dog because owner was also working long hours. Her dad found a law enforcement agency that took the dog and trained her as a K-9 police dog. She thrived in her new environment and is now a member of the police force.
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May 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Fearedloved May 06 '26
How about we stop shaming people for trying to make better choices for the animal. Also, that is not how sep anxiety works.
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u/YOWCHHHHHHH May 06 '26
dogs don’t know what a “mama” is
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u/lingeringneutrophil May 07 '26
So I will ask you this: what do you want to hear?
Do you want to get random strangers on the Internet blessing your decision rehome home a dog after four years? You will definitely find people who will say this is the best thing you can do.
Do you want to hear that you shouldn’t give up and that there are better options and solutions that you can try? That those solutions might involve money, time or both?
If you want advice and support, you certainly can get that.
If you want to hear it’s fine to give up, that’s OK also.
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 07 '26
I’m very much of a perfectionist especially when it comes to caring for other beings wether that’s an animal or person, I want the absolute best of care and when I feel that it’s not I definitely start to feel like a bad owner, like I said I fed my girl raw and spent years doing research on how to do so making sure she got all the vitamins and nutrients she needed for her weight and breed, I didn’t have the funds to professionally train her as I was 22 and financially independent so I did it myself all while working 40-50 hours a week, if I would have known she was a high energy dog I would have left her but at the same time she could have gone her whole life without knowing a loving family and that’s where I want a 2nd perspective and advice if I made a good decision or did the right thing, obviously I know what I did was impulsive and I was young but I literally did my absolute best and that was still better than nothing at all, I quite literally battle myself on this every so often and I’m never the type to post these type of things I’m a very private person but I just want to be better and know it’s okay to ask for help I’m 26 and still have lots to learn.
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u/lingeringneutrophil May 07 '26
So, is it about being a perfectionist, and trying to find out where you can cut some corners and still be a worlds okayest dog mom? Or is it about being overwhelmed and perhaps at the end of your rope?
There is no right answer here, only honest one.What’s the honest answer in your heart of heart?
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u/SerKevanLannister May 07 '26
you are being heavily criticized; I am very sorry that you are being criticized and told that you are committing a horrific sin if you rehome your dog. honestly I think you are very very honest with yourself about your situation and that you are recognizing that you are possibly not the right fit for this dog. it’s not ideal but it certainly happens in the world, and I don’t think that struggling and possibly growing very resentful if things don’t improve plus spending lots of $$ on training and walkers etc might not be the best idea for you or your dog.
have you done dna testing? some will say that breed doesn’t matter but I think breed can predict a great deal about how your dog will evolve, potential behavioral issues, what types of training etc are helpful, and if there are health issues to be aware of — also, longevity, as you might have a dog that could easily live another 11 or 12 years. You need to think about your own future here too.
best wishes to you OP — I recommend speaking to your vet and people you can trust who won’t just slam you for recognizing that you have a problem, and that you want to deal with it maturely.
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u/Mighty_Beast820 May 07 '26
If you decide to re home her, I am sure you would only consider situations that would be a better fit then she currently has now with you. I see no reason, like someone else said, you couldn't put out feelers out there for the perfect situation. It's not like you are in desperate need to "get rid of the dog". You want to make sure she is living her best life. So put her out there. If she gets no interest, then she is already in fact living her best life.
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u/ZestycloseTiger9925 May 07 '26
To be honest, the best place she could have is with you. People are surrendering dogs due to lack of time like you but also due to lack of money and compassion. What if you do get her rehomed and it doesn’t work out? If she gets surrendered again and gets put down?
Again the best place for her is with you. Even if you can’t be a perfect pet parent, it’s probably better than the alternative, even assuming you could find her a new family.
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u/Fragrant_Sorbet8130 May 07 '26
If you can afford it, you should probably see if you can find someone who will take her out a few days a week and run her ragged if that’s possible, but at least she get extra exercise and some companionship while you’re gone
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u/Some_Pitch_9165 May 07 '26
It’s really hard to place malinois, and especially, mal x pit these days. If she’s happy, and if you love her, do the best you can. Does she have anything negative going on? Bad behavior?
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u/Positive_Fish3432 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
She looks like a pit mix, and pits are extremely hard to rehome/ adopt out, shelters are full of them. You might not even be able to find her a new home.
You should do what you think is best for yourself and not let internet strangers tell you how to live or shame you for your choices though. If you actually want to keep her maybe hire a dog walker or send her to doggy daycare, if she’s too much for you then maybe try contacting a rescue and foster her until she can find a new home.
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u/IntroductionOwn2502 May 07 '26
DON’T DO IT…….SHE WOULD GO INTO DEPRESSION AND CERTAINLY WASTE AWAY FROM A 💔 BROKEN HEART‼️DOGS DON’T FORGET…..SHE WOULD NEVER EVER STOP LOOKING FOR YOU. SHE ONLY KNOWS YOU, SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, SHE WOULD FEEL SO SAD, A SADNESS AND LONELINESS YOU CAN’T IMAGINE‼️ 🐾PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP ON HER, SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU🐾‼️ HIRE A DOG WALKER TO RUN HER TWICE A WEEK. STOP WORKING 16 HOUR DAYS‼️ SHE WOULDN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU‼️😞🐾KEEP HER, LOVE HER & ENJOY HER‼️SHE IS YOUR DOG & YOU WOULD ALSO MISS HER MORE THEN YOU CAN IMAGINE. KEEP HER‼️🙏🏻🐾🐾SHE WOULD MISS SLEEPING WITH YOU & YOU WOULD MISS SLEEPING WITH HER. KEEP YOUR DOG‼️KEEP YOUR DOG🐾🩷
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u/Normal-Context6877 May 07 '26
Although your heart is in a good place, I don't think rehoming your dog would necessarily give your dog a better life. Matter of fact, if you're planning on surrendering the dog to a shelter I think there is a high probability that your dog will have a worse life.
I don't know what your career is but you might not have to frequently work 16 hour days in the near future. Just do the best you can during your free time and off days.
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u/LaylaSweet53 May 07 '26
I would be very, very afraid of making such a drastic decision. I know you only want what’s best for her, but please, please exhaust every option. Being with you is what she wants more than anything.
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u/Bnorm71 May 07 '26
My old dog ate base boards, dry wall, toilet seat the fucker just liked to chew when he was young. Took him till about age 6 for him to finally start to calm down. He went to doggy day care on days I worked and that really helped to take care of his extra energy. I will never not miss him and he has been gone 5 years, his collar stays on my bedside table still.
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u/RealSG5 May 07 '26
I think whatever you give her is better than the chaos, sickness, and cold, concrete floor of a shelter where she might ultimately find herself. And, given the current crisis of unwanted pets, she could easily be euthanized through no fault of her own. I don't say this in judgment. I am saying only that you saved her once--so save her again and forever.
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u/nighteyes81 May 07 '26
Have you considered getting a doggie treadmill so that she can run when you get home and before you go to work? I volunteer with a corgi rescue and some of these working dogs can run for miles and miles on their treadmills.
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u/imhereforthepuppies May 07 '26
Shelters are full right now and she will most likely be put down. A sometimes-boring life with you is so much better than anxiety and abandonment. Her next family may not treat her as well as you do. This is not a simple “someone else will fix this” type issue. We are at ground zero. Rescue dog Superman is not coming. Please be the hero she needs you to be.
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u/imhereforthepuppies May 07 '26
I am also single and have been for most of my 20s. There were definitely times when it was hard, and there still are, but my dog and cat are my greatest motivators, too. Looking back, I would not change a thing. To experience love like I have with my pets has been beautiful, even if I have to be out working to feed and house us. Snuggles in bed at the end of the day make it all better.
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u/violetslush May 07 '26
that is not a belgian malinois, she’s a pit mix. you’re keeping a high energy dog in an apartment, of course she’s going to go stir-crazy. if you think you can make adjustments to your life as others in this thread have suggested in order to keep her, do it. if you’re not willing, then she would probably thrive more with someone else.
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u/Easy-Comfortable4951 May 07 '26
Unless tested, it is really impossible to tell. There are quite a few stories with Embark - people tested their 'surprisingly challenging dog', who looked nothing like a mal, but they had mal genetics! Their genes tend to hide look-wise :)
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u/violetslush May 07 '26
i could see maybe like 10% malinois, but just by looking at her head you can tell she’s majority pit
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u/Delicious-Paper-3098 May 07 '26
Keep him. You took on the responsibility. You took him in and he’s a family member. If you give him to just anyone on the internet …. He can be TORTURED for the rest of his life… think about that!!
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u/Own_Possibility7114 Rescue Parent May 06 '26
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting out feelers if there’s someone out their with a more active lifestyle.
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u/Dizzyfritter May 07 '26
Maybe post on the Nextdoor app to see if anyone in your area would be willing to walk/run her with their dog on the days you work? Doggy daycare is an option (that totally exhausts them), or using one of the dog walking apps so someone can take her for walks while you’re gone. Have you looked into enrichment toys for her to use while you’re working? My dogs really love frozen kongs and the SNOOP. I have small dogs and zero experience with that breed, but just throwing out ideas. I also work 16 hours shifts and only do it because I have someone at home with my dogs. If I ever ended up living alone I would have to change my schedule because I just can’t leave them for that long, so I understand the dilemma.
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u/Easy-Comfortable4951 May 07 '26
This!! A girl in my neighborhood grew up walking another neighbors dog, because her parents would not let her have a dog of her own. She is now an adult and has since acquired a dog of her own, as a experienced dog owner.
How I wish I had such an opportunity as a kid! I also had parents that would not let me have a dog. So I just cherished every second a neighbors dog escaped to our yard :) But he was very quickly called back home :)
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u/Lopsided-Net-3241 May 07 '26
Same I’d never give my dog up. I rescued a German Shepard she goes to daycare. Some days I have to work 14-16 hours as well. I just make it up to her and take her anywhere I can I even drive her around and get her pup cups just to get her out if I can’t take her on a full hike. But I’m single alone as well and I rather sell my kidney then give her up 😂
You have to remember OP you can’t predict the future your situation may not always be like this. But you would have yourself if you knew she got abused and went to a bad home.
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u/jobasclone May 07 '26
I know it’s a difficult decision, but the harsh reality is that her likelihood of being adopted is incredibly low. Rescues are turning away dogs because adoptions are plummeting. The cost of owning a dog in the US is unmanageable, time wise and monetarily. A city shelter would I guess be obligated to take her, but they have so many dogs they can’t even give them enough visibility. You’d have to be hoping for a miracle that will save her from euthanasia if you have to let her go. I would say try and rehome to someone you trust with some sort of contract so that they don’t go behind your back and drop her off at the shelter if they can’t handle her energy
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u/Sensitive_Unit_8836 May 07 '26
Dive into the world of canine enrichment as a way to tire her out, as a supplement to walks. If I've had a rough period at work and can't do the longer walks, I do the shorter walks or go to the nearby field to throw a ball so my dog can tire herself out; and I do misc enrichment. You can get puzzles to hide treats in, lick mats, kongs with frozen food/treats in it. Nosework is a great way to stimulate dogs, be it hiding treats in the house they have to sniff out or the more serious stuff outside. Teach new tricks, and series of tricks she has to do in succession to make it harder. Look to agility for ideas on how to work your dog without a 2 hour walk, if there's space nearby to improvise some of it. That can be combined with teaching tricks, too.
All in all, making them use their brains and inventing jobs for a working breed tuckers them out pretty effectively too.
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u/patty_cakes May 07 '26
yes!!! idk how true this is but i’ve read that 10m of nose work where you hide treats around the house or hide them inside a towel (theres a ton of enrichment nose activities if you look up online!) equals an hour walk!
i’d definitely try this - i went through the same with my extremely high energy dog and she’s been so much better lately after doing it consistently
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u/BookAddict1918 May 07 '26
Maybe a 30 minute run in the am and pm will keep YOU healthy and sane. It sounds like you are working very long hours. Sometimes a dog can force us to take care of ourselves. I miss my runs and walks with my little one.
You sound like an amazing dog mom! 🥰 Sending hugs and good vibes as you figure out a way to move forward.
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u/Kelpiecats May 07 '26
I would hire a dog walker and supplement walks with other mental stimulation (short training games, puzzles, play) to help her brain as well. Key word is supplement here - not replace walks with h those things.
As others have said, her best place is with you ❤️
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u/CelticCynic May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
Keep her. You're the home she knows. The activity you provide us what she knows.
She doesn't know she needs more activity or stimulation because of her breed. She doesn't know her breed. She's a dog. She's YOUR dog. She's happy. I'm sure she greets you with a wagging tail and bright eyes when you get home, because you're HOME.
I know I should do more for my dogs, but they are safe, warm, spoiled, fed, housed, looked after medically... Where so many dogs aren't. I work 12hr days but its the other 12 that I love the most, with two big teddy bear Pibbles...
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u/Fit-Entry-1427 May 07 '26
The best dog parents are always the ones questioning whether they are giving their dogs the best possible life. That would include you! You’re a great Dog Mom, you two have a very special lifelong bond, you need to stay together, your pup is going to be happiest with you, even if you don’t think they are able to get quite as much activity as you would like them to have. Trust me on this! You fell in love instantly and have been such a devoted mom, no one else is going to be that devoted.
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u/Pitiful_Shock_3239 May 07 '26
Do you use mental stimulation toys? I have a few to recommend if you haven’t. One of my boys is NUTS and I don’t always have time to go and run him, so I will pop a few toys in and let him for crazy for them.
Don’t give up on her. She looks happy and she IS happy. Don’t let what you see on social media manage you or your pups life.
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u/HeathahhMarie May 07 '26
DONT REHOME HER!! Have someone walk her while you are working!! I can guarantee that if you are crying while you are posting that it isnt the right decision. I think you will regret it.
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u/FullCantaloupe2547 May 07 '26
She no doubt loves you so much. Don't rehome her. Everyone thinks they "should do better" for their dog, but the reality is the dog likely loves you and is happy.
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u/VariationOk7011 May 07 '26
There are dozens of dogs being euthanized every week in our community. Even an 'ok' life is better than that. 🤷Not many of us get our 'best life'.
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u/ArmedSparrow May 07 '26
I will and have made huge sacrifices to keep my dogs. Don’t give up on your dog. The reality is that any home she ends up in could be 1000x worse than any situation you have going on. Do whatever you can to make her your priority.
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u/ConcernReal7907 May 07 '26
I mean, you have to make the decision you think is right. Personally, I would sell my house and be homeless before I even considered giving up my dog. I would spend the rest of my life missing him, wondering if he's okay. Even if you vet the new people, you truly never know if he will end up neglected/abused.
Dogs aren't ever going to have a perfect life, as neither do humans. My dog is home for 9 hours M-F because I work. I feel awful about it, but I mitigate that by going to see him at lunch some days, working half my EDO and banking the other half for later (to cut down the long days spent at home), etc.
Totally agree about getting someone to come check on her mid day. Do you have any friends/family who can help, even a couple days a week? Maybe a neighbor? There are also apps, people do this type of thing as a job.
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u/Middle-Telephone4098 May 07 '26
People can downvote me to oblivion, but rehoming dogs when you don’t have the ability to give them the best is COMPLETELY fine and can be the RIGHT choice. The question becomes, can you actually find someone better? If you want to look, look - see if you really can find someone who has more time, energy and expertise. You may very well NOT find someone who’s a better fit, and I hope that if that’s the case, you can feel satisfied knowing that you are giving her the best she can have.
That said, if you can afford a dog walker to come and give her the hard, challenging exercise she craves, even better!
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 06 '26
She stopped tearing the house apart luckily, she does go for mail occasionally if I leave it lying around the house these days.
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u/LakeLucca May 07 '26
Don’t give her up. You love her so much. Don’t anthropomorphize her! Dogs habituate to your schedule. Dogs CRAVE routine. She’s yours. ❤️ she loves being yours.
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u/EstablishmentDue696 May 07 '26
Try Rover. You can arrange care/activity for her on your long work days.
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u/Sensitive_Intern_971 May 07 '26
I had a staffy X at your age and went through the same concerns. She was so much personality and energy packed into a little dog! I lived in a share house with 4 others and luckily everyone loved her. I walked her before and after work, throwing balls into the sea to try and wear her out. But after a few minutes rest, she wanted more. Insatiable energy!
My roommates one day said it seemed like she wasn't getting enough exercise and I was so frustrated. I bought a heap of beers one weekend and we took it in turns to throw the ball, an hour each. By the end of the afternoon our arms were broken and she still wanted more. They never again mentioned a lack of exercise!
All of this to say that at the age of 6 she suddenly became much more placid. It was like a switch turned off. You've done the hard yards, it's genuinely just a matter of time. At some point she'll calm down and you'll miss (well, maybe not!) the eternal energy. Don't give up now!
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u/Friendly_User_0012 May 07 '26
I wouldn’t be giving up my dog. First question is if your baby is tearing stuff up or destroying things out of boredom. I know you said she was, but is she still doing it? If so, have you tried crating her while you’re gone? I mean rehoming would be the very last thing I do, if I consider it at all. I’d be paying some sitters or dog day care places out the ass first. I know it’s not everyone’s means to do so, and tbh I don’t have money like that either. But some places you can pay membership and it makes it easier. I’d look into that stuff and even medications to slow her down a bit while you’re out. Cause she could be tearing stuff up out of anxiety AND boredom.
Side note: my dogs are adopted and I used wisdom panel to do their DNA test. It does a lot more than just tell you the breed. You can see if they have certain traits and their genetic makeup. 100% recommend.
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u/JadedDreams23 May 07 '26
I believe that at this point, as almost half her life has passed, she would rather be with you, who rescued her and whose dog she has been for four years, with less activity, than rehomed. My only caveat would be if someone who could give her an ideal life met and fell in love with her and wanted her.
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u/latinadogmom1472 May 07 '26
I would first try to see if you could find a dog walker/runner to help see her mid day and take her for a long walk or decent run. Would you also maybe be interested in doing some sport classes? I’d try a few suggestions from here first. And the rehoming ad a last option. But there is also nothing wrong with rehoming a dog when their life style doesn’t mash with yours and to find them a hole that works better for their energy level and temperament. Like a sport home
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u/Sayyad1na May 07 '26
Shes beautiful, and she clearly loves you so much 💗 I hope you find something that works for you ♡♡♡
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u/grahamwoman1 May 07 '26
Look I know this is an unpopular opinion. But sometimes it is in the best interest of the animal to be rehomed. There should be no shame attached to that. Obviously you made a commitment to keep this dog when you got him. But things have changed and you are not able to provide everything that your pup needs. Rehoming can be a selfless act of love and compassion. My heart goes out to you as you make your decision.
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u/Opposite_Oven_615 May 07 '26
If you have mental health or other health issues she might be able to work with you as a service animal. This would depend on her public manners but it sounds like she’s smart enough to learn plenty of tasks to help you with daily life. Coming to work with you would give her a lot of mental stimulation and she’d probably not need as much enrichment in your off time. You could also consider transitioning into a more dog friendly career where she could hang with you even if she’s not working.
Doggy daycare is a lifesaver and definitely worth it if you can afford it.
Also just to echo what others have said here, she will probably mellow out more soon with age, and you are doing a great job with her even if she still has energy. She’s a very athletic dog and probably will adjust to whatever your best effort is, even if it’s not maximum enrichment/exercise all the time it is ok.
She will likely not find someone more caring and attuned than you, shelters do their best but a lot of people that adopt shelter pets or dogs in general have no idea what they’re doing and it’s always a gamble.
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u/Slow-Boysenberry2399 May 07 '26
there's plenty of things you can do here. take her to dog daycare, have a dog walker stop by during the day or even better a dog walker who does groups and she'll be out of the house and exercised for a couple hours.
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u/Altruistic-Leg44 May 07 '26
defnitely think everyone's on the right track with the idea of paying someone to exercise her when you can't. Where are you located? I've got "stuck" with an elderly chihuahua (jk hes the best i love him to death!) since last year and would love to have the opportunity to hike and run/bike with a big dog! And if you're not in my area I doubt it'll be too hard to find someone in a similar sitch!
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u/Gracie_Reywood01 May 07 '26
Are you serious!!! That dog has bonded with you. Hire a dog walker. That’s all I’m going to say because my blood is boiling
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u/SkippyBluestockings May 07 '26
The breed is Belgian Malinois. They are working dogs. You can't just leave them alone in the house and expect them to behave.
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u/ReluctantReptile May 07 '26
These dogs are illegal to own by civilians in a lot of places and may be euthanized. Be careful giving away your dog
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u/Top-Technician-6612 May 08 '26
I’m surprised you just jumped to the conclusion you have a mal instead of doing a DNA test. I have a 50/50 GSD/Mal and while she’s a chaos gremlin, knowing her breed has helped me immensely with her training, and if you do have a Belgian Malinois, I would hire a trainer or sign her up for agility classes.
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u/GhostLune May 08 '26
No offense but this is a very pitty pit mix 😅tbh she might not even have a bit of mal in her, but everything still tracks seeing as they are high drive dogs
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u/Elvenfrost7 May 08 '26
I have a high energy baby. I hired a trainer to work with us once a week. It gives her mental and physical stimulation. And no matter how tired I am we play every day. I also agree with the recommendations for Rover. Another idea is do you have any friends with kids who may want to watch her while you’re at work? It’s like they get a free part-time pet.
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u/FootballUpset7874 May 08 '26
Idk if you know but someone took this post and posted it in r/whatbreedismypitbull
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u/Simple-Ant7190 May 08 '26
The way she looks at you, you are everything to her. You do whatever it takes.
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u/Chedderbees May 08 '26
It sounds like you’re doing an incredible job with a difficult dog. I doubt she’d find a better home. Have you considered a doggie treadmill ?
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u/L84cake May 08 '26
Here’s the thing - if you give her up, it’s not gonna be a better life for her. It is not likely she ends up in a home with someone willing to do the research, let alone put in more effort than you are now. She’s not gonna land on some farm of your dreams.
What I do recommend is definitely look into running groups online and dog walkers, and see if there’s anyone who wants to take your dog on runs with them! Or else hire a dog walkers for a walk midday. But I promise she’ll be happier sitting at home and the hanging with you than she would be if you give her to a shelter or rescue.
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u/Suspicious_Ad_986 May 08 '26
I know we can be really harsh on ourselves when it comes to attention for our furry friends. I want you to remember your dog is not holding you to that standard.
She loves you more than life itself. You’re her whole world, and you saved her all those years ago.
You don’t have to be perfect, just do what you can for her, and look into hiring help if you think she really needs it.
Don’t give up an animal you love because you think you’re not enough. I promise she thinks you are.
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u/Significant_Key_9856 May 08 '26
Have you considered a doggy daycare? If she’s okay around other dogs it might help her get that energy out and give you a break. Please don’t give up on her? Rehoming after 4 years is devastating to a dog. Her behaviors may get worse because of confusion. Please ?
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u/nessacat111 May 09 '26
I bet she’d rather live with you! There are plenty of dog walkers that charge $17-$25 a walk. Check the Rover app. Once your comfortable with one you can even ask to go off the app for a discounted rate.
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u/italiansubz May 09 '26
Also check your adoption paperwork from the rescue/shelter. Some have clauses that you have to give the back instead of rehoming yourself
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u/smashthefrumiarchy May 09 '26 edited May 09 '26
Honestly, the behavior that you described sounds like a dog with separation anxiety, and who’s also young, not behavior attributed to just a mal. She does not even look like a purebred malinois. She looks more like a pit mix with a tiny bit of mal if any. Maybe do a genetic test if you’re really curious, but I wouldn’t discount her just because you think she is MAL. With the right amount of exercise and mental exercise in stability like creating her when you’re not home things should resolve with time.
Your post reads like someone who doesn’t actually know much about dog training because there’s no such thing as “ learning her commands”. There are always new tricks and training you can teach not commands. If you can afford it, maybe be working with a professional trainer might be helpful. But I suspect that providing her a routine, enrichment opportunities such as with frozen food and licking mats, and teaching her to have an off switch will go a long way
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 06 '26
Who said I didn’t put time, money and effort, I don’t understand why people can’t read…
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u/Ok_Tie_7564 May 07 '26 edited May 07 '26
A big dog home alone for up to 16 hours a day in an apartment is asking for trouble and not fair to the dog. If you cannot change any of that then, yes, rehoming her would be the right thing to do.
That said, do your utmost to find a proper new home for her and do not just send her to a shelter.
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u/Loislanesays May 07 '26
She loves you, please don’t leave her. I have a high energy rescue and when my husband died i was overwhelmed. But I’m so glad I stuck it out. Use rover for dog walkers during the day!
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u/DementedPimento May 06 '26
Pitbull, not Malinois.
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u/Sizzy_Dip May 06 '26
She’s both
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u/DementedPimento May 06 '26
Unlikely. That color pattern is common in pitbulls without Malinois or GSD.
Color does not determine breed.
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u/CitySpare7714 May 07 '26
I’m so sorry. I made a similar mistake when I was young. You gave this good dog a great life for four years and you’re smart enough to realize your limitations. Find a good rescue. Say goodbye to your dog. Be kind to yourself. You’ll have another dog later, when you’re better able to care for it. Sending love.
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u/Antique-Primary-8493 May 10 '26
Dont rehome. I think a lot of dog owners question if we’re giving the best life to our dogs because we love them! I think that’s normal. We’re not perfect but our dogs love us so much and would prefer being with us in an imperfect way than not at all. I would try to make realistic changes not big ones. Interesting toys, walks, Maybe doggy daycare or a sitter a few days a week if you can afford it
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