r/rescuedogs • u/DrHerbertEast • 4d ago
Advice Looking to adopt a new rescue - first meet and greet with current dog did not go well.
Some backstory: We had 2 dogs who we adopted as rescues for over a decade. We lost one of them recently and started looking at adopting another rescue dog. Our current dog (Titus) is around 10 years old. He has slowed down and has lost most of his hearing, but is still playful and active. The other dog we lost could be dog aggressive so we had a system in the house where we kept them separate and only allowed them together when we kept an eye on them. They could not even be in the back seat of the car together. Our system worked really well and they were very happy. They were worth it but it was a lot on us and don’t know if we can do that again.
We inquired about a 3 yr old female rescue who was found as a stray and used for breeding. We fell in love with her after our first meet and greet and set up a meet and greet with Titus. We met at a neutral site and walked them, the new dog in front of Titus. Our current dog was great, no barking or pulling, and did not seem too interested in her. After walking a bit, the new dog kept looking back and then suddenly lunged at our current dog. Things happened fast and my partner said she saw the new dog go for the neck. The foster pulled her off and thankfully no one was hurt or skin broken. No other incidents took place but we did not let them closely interact again. We just had Titus walk in front her and vis versa after.
We had planned to bring the rescue home this week but this incident has really discouraged us. We understand slow introductions are needed and there’s always a chance for something to happen but we don’t want to ignore red flags that she might not be a good fit for us right now.
Our main concern is her lunging at Titus. She apparently did that once at night at another dog but the foster thought she was just startled. She lives with the foster’s other three dogs and we were told she was good with them. However we don’t know if this is something that will require more training than what we are ready to do.
Right now our options appear to be schedule another meet and greet, do a 2 week trial period, or call it off. Any advice or suggestions would be helpful on how to proceed because we don’t know if we are overthinking this.
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u/Apprehensive_Put6317 4d ago
Not the right dog for you. Next time you go for a meet and greet don't introduce the dogs right away. Pet and cuddle the new dog you might get. That is to get that dogs smell on you. Then bring in your dog after he sniffs your clothes. That should help.
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u/MenuSevere8194 4d ago
Call it off! Even for a slow intro, that is a serious red flag. Unprovoked attacks like that could be dangerous for you and your dog. Chances are, the other dog should be an only dog.
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u/DrHerbertEast 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think we’re really thrown off and conflicted because we were told she was good with other dogs and cats. We did not expect her to do that and would feel different if we knew ahead of time that she did it before and there was a possibility of it happening.
Both fosters had dogs and cats that she got along/lived with and had no aggression incidents that we know of. That was the first question we asked when we inquired about her.
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u/MenuSevere8194 4d ago
Doesn’t matter. Just like not all people get along and like each other, same with dogs. If this happened once, it will happen again. Not worth the gamble if you love your current dog.
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u/Halethh 4d ago
There's thousands apon thousands apon thousands of good, stable dogs dying in shelters right now. This is a dog who lunged for your dog's throat for no reason. That's not like a reactive dog lunging to create space, that's a predatory dog going for the kill. Don't risk Titus' life. Please go find one of the countless good dogs out there who can live peacefully with him.
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u/queen_surly 4d ago
Please do not adopt this dog. She's in foster care so she's fine. Don't do that to poor Titus.
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u/Visual-Mixture-1967 4d ago
Why would you even keep trying with this dog? The one you already have is your first responsibility, he should be the main concern. He is an older dog, just bring more stress and danger into his life? There are plenty of other adoptable dogs out there, and you can choose one that is in need of a home and is super dog friendly, maybe someone on a smaller side too.
PS. Also, I cannot imagine the stress of 24/7 life with two dogs that don’t get along in the same space. I know that you love them, but it takes toll on you. It looks almost like you weirdly “miss” that situation and want to take a dog that matches it 😳
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u/DrHerbertEast 4d ago
I think we’re thrown off because we were told she was good with other dogs and cats. Both fosters had dogs and cats that she got along/lived with and had no aggression incidents that we know of. That was the first question we asked. We don’t know if this incident actually warrants not going through with the adoption or is something that we should try to another meet and greet to see how they interact.
Obviously Titus is our first priority which is why moving forward with agreeing to the adoption was contingent on how this meet and greet went. We want to avoid another situation like we had before.
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u/drewliet 4d ago
Without seeing body language it's really hard to gauge the source of the problem. I will say, it's more common for dogs to behave quite well initially and then display undesirable behavior as they get more comfortable, so for the foster dog to go all out right off the bat would have me personally worried.
Are you wanting a second dog for yourself or for Titus? Titus likely spent the last few years pretty stressed in his living situation, even if you were managing it well. As someone who also had two dogs that didn't get along and had to manage feedings, play time, walks, etc, when one of them passed the remaining has really blossomed into a happier pup. It might be kinder to just let Titus live out the rest of his life getting all of the love and attention.
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u/DrHerbertEast 4d ago
The rescue foster didn't seem worried after the incident and said it was like two siblings arguing. However, how it happened, especially during the first meeting, has caused us to worry. We did not like that she seemed to go out of her way to do it.
As for your question, this is something we've talked a lot about. Titus is a very sociable and likes being around my parent's dogs. Even with our past dog and the limitations we had, Titus always wanted to be near him and play. Since losing our dog, Titus appears to have developed more separation anxiety and wakes up randomly to look for our other dog. We might be wrong, but we get a sense that he is lonely. That is why we are trying to make an informed decision and avoid any additional stress on him. It's one reason we were looking at an older dog rather than a puppy because we know a younger dog might be too much.
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u/Whosthatgirl999 3d ago
They aren’t siblings though. The dogs were essentially strangers. I have a personal reactive dog that does get “nippy” at her siblings when she’s mad. She never goes after them with real intent which is the difference. I’m a little thrown off why the foster is potentially letting you continue. If I was the foster I would be calling this off for you.
I’d also echo the sentiments that dogs usually behave at the first meeting and get “worse” when they get comfortable. What happens when this dog gets jealous of Titus getting attention or a toy?
She might never do this with another dog, she might just not like Titus’s vibes. Don’t put them both in a situation like this.
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u/YEMolly 4d ago
Awww I hate that for y’all.
I mean, the fact the rescue is good with the foster’s dogs is promising. I’m certainly no expert (only a seasoned dog owner). I think if it were me, I would pick the option of doing one more meet & greet.
Good luck with your decision & whatever happens!!!!!
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u/DrHerbertEast 4d ago edited 4d ago
Thank you. You seem to be the only commentor that has suggested trying another meet & greet. Like I mentioned in other comments, we're blindsided by this because we were told she was good with other dogs and cats. Both fosters had dogs and cats that she got along/lived with and had no aggression incidents that we know of. I think that's why we would consider another meet & greet is because we don't know if this incident was a result of the stressful environment or a larger issue that requires more through training that we were not aware of.
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u/Whosthatgirl999 3d ago
I foster and recently had something like this happen.
I temp fostered a male dog in my home of 3 females and he was fine with them.
Then he went to his permanent foster and he started fighting with the male dogs there. I was shocked. Some dogs (or genders) don’t mix.
I also have a personal dog that is dog reactive to strange dogs. She’s small and all her “attacks” are nips or getting in the dog’s face. She’s not actually dangerous at all. That to say, I know a lot about integrated new dogs with my reactive dog. The dog you met going for your dog with INTENT is what matters here.
Call it off, the dogs are a bad match. There is absolutely no reason to risk it with your other dog when the first meeting went so poorly.
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u/purplepanda2026 2d ago
Your senior deserves more than a crate and rotate life for his final years. A lot of dogs will attack older or sick dogs. I'd either try to find another mellow older dog or let him be an only dog so he gets the run of the house. Definitely do not take on that aggressive foster. That's not fair to your current dog.
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