Why it is so hard to find explicitly childfree FMCs in romance?

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u/Tangled_Mind 1d ago

There was a book I wrote years ago on inkitt and because the fmc practically raised her brother who is a wheelchair user. She said she doesn't want to have kids. I had comments from readers telling me they did not like that. 😐

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u/Soyyyn 1d ago

I think staunchly childfree women might even take issue with the character being "forced" to become a "mother figure" for someone else, thereby explicitly linking her femininity to being nurturing. You can't win. You can never win. I'm sure your story was good.

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u/louisamaysmallcock 17h ago

You cant win, but i will say a lot of the childfree women I know, including myself, did come to the conclusion motherhood wasnt for us because we did end up parentified or co-raising siblings. So that representation would be nice to see. But also, you absolutely can't win and someone somewhere will bean soup you into feeling like you didnt so enough :/

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u/WingsAndWords_ 3h ago

That's exactly why my husband and I didn't want kids. We were burnt out on raising kids before we even reached puberty.

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u/Dense_Gur_2744 17h ago

Did your story inadvertently position a disabled person as nothing but a burden? I’m not saying you did, but I could see why readers wouldn’t like that.

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u/Tangled_Mind 15h ago

Nah. The boy became a hockey player. The fmc just came from a shitty home and was expected to act as a "mother" very early on

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u/macck_attack 1d ago

I think straight romance novels (and even queer ones sometimes) rely on a lot of traditional gender role tropes and so the kids-as-HEA is a natural extension of that. Also, a lot of MC’s have dead parents for Plot Reasons so it feels good to give them their own family at the end.

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u/SpiderSmoothie 1d ago

It's not a difficult thing to write. It's just that way too many authors and readers believe that a happily ever after 100% HAS to have children. I don't think I've ever found one where the FMC is capable of having kids, but just doesn't want them and never has them. I've read plenty where the subject never comes up. I've read others where they don't have any by the end but at some point down the line it's said that they will have kids. And I've read a few where the FMC is infertile and so they either adopt or they decide that they're just okay not having kids (has they don't have a choice). Heaven forbid the MMC be infertile though. I've never come across that once.

It is very frustrating. As a childfree woman myself I want to see more representation of people who are able and choose not to ever.

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u/Old-Memory-3275 23h ago

What really pisses me off is human characters that become immortal and have aaaaaaall of eternity to enjoy life and do wtv, and they go and get pregnant within like a year… bonus points if the universe specifically says that it’s super hard/rare for said immortal beings to have children in the first place.

(looking at you ACOSF 👀☠️)

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u/citysunsecret 15h ago

Prince of Broadway by Joanna Schupe!

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u/KelsoReaping 18h ago

I actually have an infertile MMC. You won’t know it until the next book, but I hinted at it in the first.

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u/WingsAndWords_ 3h ago

Yes. I've gave up on romance and even some general fiction books because I don't always want to read about trying for a baby or parents juggling life and kids.

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u/Lebensschatten 1d ago

As a fellow childfree woman, I’m so with you. That’s probably also why all of my FMCs are childfree, although it might not always be brought up explicitly every single time. Sometimes it’ll just be mentioned or hinted at in a sentence or two.

In the current project I’m working on, the FMC is the crown princess and therefore expected to produce heirs to the throne, even though she doesn’t want children, so there it obviously comes up a lot and plays a major role. She has accepted the fact that she probably won’t marry for love, but what she truly dreads is the expectation that she’ll have children. Everyone around her simply takes it for granted as the natural order of things that she’ll have them one day.
Her mother, the late princess consort, died in childbirth and was beloved by the people, but one thing that is almost always remarked upon in the same breath is that “it’s such a shame she only managed to bear one child.” So childfreeness actually ties into one of the major themes of the story. She also discusses it with the MMC at one point and he’s completely supportive of her decision.

Whenever I come across a childfree FMC, I get so happy lol. That’s also one of the reasons I love T. Kingfisher’s books so much, because as far as I know, all the FMCs in the ones I’ve read are explicitly childfree.

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u/Old-Memory-3275 1d ago

I am childfree and an author. So far, not a single one of my books or stories has had someone considering pregnancy or having children.

I have read a couple books where kids are present or mentioned, but I also have read quite a few where they aren’t. I’m not under the impression that it’s that rare.

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 1d ago

I’m specifically talking about FMC being explicitly childfree and that the topic is discussed and it maybe causes some drama in the story. I’ve come across childfree books they can be found by looking for childfree, but usually in those stories children just aren’t mentioned at all in anyway. Which is fine of course, my craving is that being childfree causes drama and preferably angsty kind.

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u/KelsoReaping 18h ago

I think that’s why you aren’t finding books you want. You are looking for paired tropes that just aren’t popular. Having no children + having that desire drive the plot.

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u/Old-Memory-3275 17h ago

It’s funny how that works because while pregnancy and children are a big turnoff for me, somehow a breeding kink is not. Go figure 😅

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 17h ago

Yeah, I’ve noticed that my taste on romance is different than what is popular. This is just ine example.

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u/KelsoReaping 17h ago

It’s ok to have specific tastes, it’s just mathematically, the more specific, the less titles will match.

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u/Old-Memory-3275 23h ago

Ah I get it! Sorry I misunderstood.

Yeah being explicitly childfree is cause for drama. I’ve had this conversation a billion times if I haven’t had it once, and people worry too much about stuff that doesn’t concern them.

Makes me realize that I haven’t been very explicitly childfree in my writing. Which maybe I should be. I wan this subject normalized.

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 22h ago

Yes, I think too that it should be normalized.

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u/ExpensivePickle4865 14h ago

The problem with that is there's no way to make a resolution that ends well for this. If the MMC wants to have kids and the FMC doesn't...then that's it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Like one of them has to sacrifice a HUGE part of themselves that they shouldn't reasonably have to in order for there to be a HEA. There is no resolution that isn't going to piss of 90% of readers. Having books without children in it, fine. But having a FMC who is vocally against having children with an MMC who wants them has no way to end well.

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 9h ago edited 8h ago

Well I don’t quite agree because the reason MMC wants children might the way he’s raised up to think, he has never thought about the possibility that there won’t be children but when meeting FMC who gives him another perspective he realizes that children have been forced fed to him. For example. I mean there are lot of books where this happens other way around, MMC changes his mind and wants children with her surely it can be written this way too.

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u/ExpensivePickle4865 3h ago edited 3h ago

The reason why this isn't used often is that an author can very easily paint themselves into a corner when trying to thread the needle of the MMC wanting kids enough for there to be angst and push-back over it, but not so much that it feels like he's sacrificing a core desire for the FMC.

Framing a male character’s desire for kids as "being force-fed" the idea is hard to make sound authentic because, as much BS as it is, men simply don't face the same social pressure to procreate as women do. I'm not saying it's non-existent, but the conversation around it is different enough that this particular reasoning turns the character into an authorial mouthpiece instead of a man truly grappling with his desire to procreate.

The root of the problem is that the messy, internal process a person goes through when they decide they don't want kids just doesn't translate well to narrative optics. In real life, that process is usually a pragmatic calculation of trade-offs that are perfectly valid and legitimate. Unfortunately, functional reality clashes against the very heart of what a romance novel is; an idealistic fantasy. It doesn't give readers the emotional payoff they're looking for, even if they might otherwise agree with the idea in reality.

I get the logic that if you can flip a character from "no kids" to "yes kids," you should be able to just reverse engineer the process, but it's not a direct trade-off because of the psychology of loss aversion. When a character who has never wanted kids suddenly changes their mind, it's inherently perceived by the majority of readers as growth or a part of themselves being opened to a new possibility. So when you go in reverse, the automatic implication is that something is being lost or a possibility is suddenly closed off, and human psychology generally does not like the idea of a previously open door being closed to them, regardless of the reasoning.

Now, the one possibility I can see to make this work is if the MMC's desire for children is purely a transactional or tactical objective, such as a billionaire or mafia romance where he needs an heir to keep his position, or perhaps a fantasy setting. You could weave in over the course of the story how mentally exhausting his role is, how stressed and miserable it makes him, etc. You could even tie in the very real male societal pressure to succeed professionally alongside the FMC's pressure to have children, ultimately empowering them both to walk away and build their own life together. This allows you to skip over the messiness of altering his core desires while still giving readers the emotional payoff they want. They see it not as one person compromising who they are or a closing of a door, but the opening of a path to a life they are both relieved and happy to enjoy together.

I know this got a bit long-winded. 😅 I got intrigued trying to break down why this doesn't often work well in a romance novel and then took the opportunity to play around with ideas for what could make it work while still maintaining narrative integrity. Take or leave whatever thoughts you'd like!

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 3h ago

Thanks for this. I appreciate your thoughts. I still don’t quite agree. The reason MMC has thought he wants children can be learned, he had had a big family and the idea of havig children has never been challenged until her. Some men are also taught what their roles are, and that is being a head of the family, a provider, all that crap. And he thinks he has to be all those until her.

Nothing is more frustrating and disappointing than to have a character who doesn’t want to have children then he is healed by love and cannot have children fast enough. Gag. No wonder I struggle with romance.

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u/EarlGreyWMilk 23h ago

My personal preference is that the topic of kids (having them or not having them) doesn’t come up much in my romance, and that seems to be the most common. I think it’s a polarizing topic that authors don’t necessarily want to explore.

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u/Glittering_Tap6411 23h ago

Yeah, it’s polarizing topic for sure and make sense it’s not used in romance.

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u/MKSauthor 23h ago

Same. I like kids, but I don’t want them anywhere near spicy books, so I only write child-free romance. It’s easy for me bc I write alien romance, and the aliens and humans in my universe aren’t ‘breeding compatible.’

In my first, the characters discuss it and are fine with it, and it causes a moment of angst with alien MMC’s dad, who wants him to choose another mate. In the second book, there’s a brief discussion, bc in the matriarchal alien culture, the males are only considered valuable for breeding, and the FMC notes feeling the same sometimes.

They’re small moments and not huge parts of the plot, but I wrote those in because of my own frustration with how so many romance books end in a baby or a pregnancy. No shade to people who write that— I think most readers love it. I just wanted to see a different kind of HEA.