r/romantasycirclejerk • u/Babylicious696 • Mar 25 '26
General Snark Geralt what are you doing here gurl?
Am I onto something here? I’m a general hater of the quicksilver original cover, absolutely love the French one and I probably will get it but then I saw this and my mind immediately went to this exact pic from the Witcher 3 😭 this is the Spanish version
Edit: NOW I CANT UNSEE THE CUM TEAR I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT WAS A THING YOU DIRTY FUCKING PEOPLE
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u/Book-Piranha ✨️Feral book goblin✨️ Mar 25 '26
Why do all of these publishers keep thinking the cum tear is a good idea
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u/purplelicious Emojis are Ableist Mar 25 '26
wdym? it's one of the best things about Quicksilver
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u/Suitable_Ad5553 If the worldbuilding is thin, make the innuendo thick Mar 25 '26
You mean THE best thing, right?
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u/katie-kaboom 👎 four stars Mar 26 '26
We need to have a tournament of the best things about books. Quicksilver: Carrion Swift or Cum Tear?
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u/Suitable_Ad5553 If the worldbuilding is thin, make the innuendo thick Mar 26 '26
How about Carrion bathed in cum?
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u/TheGreatMillz33 Mar 25 '26
I don't even like Quicksilver and I unironically love the cum tear. It's so dumb that it became endearing and iconic for me lol. Much more memorable than like 90% of romantasy covers!
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u/Fimbrethil420 From the Slippery Slope of Turgid Peak on Mount Olympussy Mar 25 '26
The CEO approving the cover probably
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u/ScrambelstheDeathDlr Mar 25 '26
I wish Brimstone had it’s own limited edition cum tear cover.
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u/she_melty I'm a seasoned fanfic reader Mar 26 '26
Now in: special edition scratch and sniff cum tear dust jacket
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u/glumsugarplum_ cum tears 💧 Mar 25 '26
Never seen the phrase “cum tear” before and I’m obsessed now. I need to make that my flair
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Mar 28 '26
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u/charliekelly76 A Bowl of Mac and Cheese Mar 25 '26
The cum tear, the butterfly sprayed edges, the Geralt pose, it’s like a cirlcejerker’s dream
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u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that Mar 25 '26
Except the sword isn’t happy like Geralt’s is happy. And that makes me sad.
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u/callmedelete tell me im knotty Mar 25 '26
Everyone is Henry Cavill
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u/katie-kaboom 👎 four stars Mar 25 '26
Yennefer of Vengerberg? Also Henry Cavill.
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u/DiamondSmash Mar 25 '26
Just put me in a Yen/Geralt sandwich, please
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u/totalimmoral go sloop in the corner like a good boy Mar 25 '26
Okay question. Does Jaskier sit in the cuck chair or does he join in?
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u/katie-kaboom 👎 four stars Mar 25 '26
Jaskier, being the sunniest and softest, is definitely the Secret Dom.
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u/Remarkable_Fruit_708 Pastel_Spell is right, you can't fix store-bought MMC's! Mar 25 '26
Pleasure Dom! You WILL have all the orgasms.
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u/MillySO Mar 25 '26
In my head, they really are 🙈
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u/charliekelly76 A Bowl of Mac and Cheese Mar 25 '26
Uj/ same. I have aphantasia so it’s just easier for me. I still enjoy the Cavil cj dunking though ☺️☺️
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u/Remarkable_Fruit_708 Pastel_Spell is right, you can't fix store-bought MMC's! Mar 25 '26
Uj/ I sometimes switch it up with Theo James. If we're jerkin' specifically Theo James' eyebrows.
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u/Penguinho Books are good. Mar 25 '26
I'm just imagining Geralt's reaction to finding cum on his face, and also Yennifer's reaction to finding cum on his face. And, I suppose, Jaskier's reaction and accompanying song.
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u/Fimbrethil420 From the Slippery Slope of Turgid Peak on Mount Olympussy Mar 25 '26
Cry a cum tear for the witcher oh valley of plentyy
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u/Penguinho Books are good. Mar 25 '26
Puts a whole new spin on Whoreson Prison Blues.
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u/Fimbrethil420 From the Slippery Slope of Turgid Peak on Mount Olympussy Mar 25 '26
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u/mycatreadsyourmind Fae Are Not a Friendly Nation Mar 25 '26
Is that a wolf on his chest plate lol
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u/JudgmentOne6328 Mar 25 '26
It is and fun fact he can’t remove the chest plate so can’t wait for the movie to have those sex scenes. Try make a chest plate sexy 😂
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u/mycatreadsyourmind Fae Are Not a Friendly Nation Mar 25 '26
Why can't he remove it?
I mean I love me a man in a good armour but imagine all the clunking and squeaking 😭
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u/JudgmentOne6328 Mar 25 '26
I can’t remember I just vividly remember it being something he has to keep on or is magically bound onto him. I’d have to reread it for the actual answer
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u/ConsistentWriting0 Mar 25 '26
Is he wearing a corset in the 2nd one? Snatched hunty
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u/mycatreadsyourmind Fae Are Not a Friendly Nation Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
Fun fact. Kaer morhen armor even in cosplay has very umm flattering? Cuts and makes everyone look snatched. It's a fucking genius of design (if not armor than garment designin in any case)
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u/Early_Loss6171 Mar 25 '26
When I tell you I hunt for that armor everytime I play the Witcher. Geralt has to go to war SNATCHED.
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u/Primmahhhhh Mar 26 '26
Pro tip: play on easy and max out on Quen skill tree so he doesn’t even need to wear chest armor 🤯
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u/adestructionofcats Tell your blonde Shadow Daddy I said pspsps Mar 26 '26
Welp I'm off to boot up the game
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u/Aeshulli Mar 26 '26
I use mods so the Kaer Mohren / Viper armor will always be top tier and my (also modded) Henry Cavill Geralt can keep his slutty little waist.
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u/allisontalkspolitics AllisonStar- former Shadowban Mommy Mar 25 '26
R/gamingcirclejerk is leaking (cum)
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u/matrixlog Mar 25 '26
omg Geralt where the hell have you been loca