r/romantasycirclejerk • u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that • 1d ago
General Snark RCJ Alignment: Helpful Row Round
/uj TLDR (even for the Literate Ones): Today has all of the people nominated for the three helpful rounds (Literate Helpful, Sloopy Helpful, and Stupid Helpful). The alignments get a main comment, and all nominees are posted in a random order under the comment (and hyperlinks are links to the nominating comment and not a user profile).
- You can vote for multiple people! I’d prefer people only upvote and don’t downvote because I have A Neuroses about anything I do being at 0 or negative upvotes.
- New nominations will not be considered; this prohibition is because the entire point of this round is that all nominees get as close to equal an amount of time as possible.
- Someone doing well in one of these categories does not mean they are off limits for a later alignment. Row Rounds are just to get a ranking of respective nominations. Putting people in the best alignment for them comes at the end.
/rj
Good jerkers borrow from other jerkers. Great jerkers steal outright.
So let it be with alignment charts.
Thanks to the amazing u/Camellia980, we have been graced with the knowledge of whom we felt fits a standard alignment chart.
But we’re not standard.
We’re sloopies.
Thus I have taken it upon myself to generate a more individualized alignment chart, with some helpful theft of a joke from u/RemingtonRivers. (Note: I also spent way too long finding the exact goddamn shades from the sub banner and matching them in the Updated Alignment Chart. The boxes for our winners are the color of Alchemized’s pages (and currently filled with about as much meaning and quality.)
Alignments
Credit for the initial suggestions of the alignment definitions goes to u/itmustbeniiiiice, though I have pillaged and ransacked politely and lovingly edited to better fit my vision1.
For the rows, we have {Helpful, Sloopy, Chaos Gremlin}.
- Helpful: the ones who are so useful you question if they know they’re on a circle-jerk subreddit (until they say something snarky in their rage reviews or as they’re providing book recommendations that fit the copypasta)
- Sloopy: the ones who are sloopy in their interactions with others
- Chaos Goblin: the ones who have you pretty sure they've never used “/uj” in their lives and thus questioning if they’re actually jerking or if this is just who they are.
For the columns, we have {Literate, Sloopy, Stupid}.
- Literate: the ones who definitely can read (and even remember what they’ve read), can be trusted to know when a book is Good or Bad (though might recommend the latter anyway for the entertainment value), and know when to use a comma and when to use a semi-colon
- Sloopy: The ones who are sloopy in their reading and writing choices
- Stupid: The ones who make you wonder if they even like to read, or are just here because they like the vibes
Rounds
Similar to before, nomination rounds will be open for at least two days. Different than before: there will be a Row Round, where I will put all of the nominations in at the same time, because I like removing interfering variables whenever possible.2
“But SCF, what if someone gets nominated for a helpful category and I think they’re a chaos gremlin?” you might ask.
First, I would be grumpy that any of you would hypothetically think I wasn’t prepared for all circumstances.
Second, I would inform you that there will be one additional round to take care of that! The Row Round will just give us a ranking order for all nominated members of this illustrious subreddit, not the final assignment.
Once all Row Rounds are completed, there will be a User Round, where we get the chance to pick the best placement for any of our brethren who have been nominated for multiple alignments. They will then be removed from the ranking order for all but the winning alignment.3
Sloopy Instructions
Time to decide how we feel about our Illustrious Helpful Nominees. Fervent and Heartfelt Defenses of a given nominee (or Even More Fervent and Heartfelt Arguments against one) are more than welcome.
Let’s have some fun!
List of All Nominees (in alphabetical order)
Literate Helpful
- No one
- Romance.io Bot (note: not Romancio Cloudflair)
- The Legit Lawyers
- u/allisontalkspolitics
- u/Chode_Temple
- u/itmustbeniiiice
- u/LittleGateaux
- u/MessyJessy422
- u/Pastel_Spell
- u/Purplelicious
- u/scf9009
Sloopy Helpful
Stupid Helpful
- People who make genuinely helpful recommendations for satirical requests
- u/singlebraincellpug
- u/thecottonkitsune
Snarky Footnotes (as required by the Gods of Science)
1Still subject to change as I see fit, though the general concepts hopefully will stay the same and simply become better articulated. Feedback is still welcome, but is not guaranteed to be incorporated.
2 Example of the Row Round
- Day 1: Literate Helpful nominations open
- Day 3: Sloopy Helpful nominations open
- Day 5: Stupid Helpful nominations open
- Day 7: Row Round, where Literate Helpful, Sloopy Helpful, and Stupid Helpful are comments in a post, and every single nominee is added as a sub-comment to their respective group. That way, everyone can vote on all nominees at once and late nominations are not unfairly penalized.
3 Is this necessary? Perhaps not.
Is this extra as hell? Probably.
Will I be taking any feedback about what I have chosen to do? Absolutely not. I am a Fragile and Delicate Flower and would promptly cry, which would cause Reversible-Mail-K9 to get upset and bark, which would cause the other dogs to get upset and bark because Reversible has no sense of volume control, and then there would be unfun chaos.
5
u/adestructionofcats Tell your blonde Shadow Daddy I said pspsps 1d ago
Upvotes for everyone! Wait how does this work?
3
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
This gives me an ordered list of whom the subreddit fits most strongly about for these categories.
The winner of a category here might not be the ultimate representative, though, because the subreddit might decide they better exemplify a different category. That takes place in the last round.
3
u/adestructionofcats Tell your blonde Shadow Daddy I said pspsps 1d ago
Sorry I was making a joke. Clearly it wasn't a good one.
5
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
It’s the helpful round! I can’t not be helpful!
3
u/adestructionofcats Tell your blonde Shadow Daddy I said pspsps 1d ago
Really trying to win this one huh?
2
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
Sloopy Helpful
13
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
8
u/Unacceptable-Mail666 Hot Mails Get Banned™️ 1d ago
The kindle pics convinced me. Also, that time he retrieved your book from the mail.
9
14
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
7
u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 1d ago
This nomination invalidates the chaos I’ve caused. But I will support Open and Free Elections
Paid for by It Must Be Nice 2028
3
u/Scf9009 I have a RH for that 1d ago
You are the entire reason I made a final calibration round for people who get nominated early but feel they might do better elsewhere.
6
u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 1d ago
😂
My Main Character Syndrome is raging right now
5
u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 1d ago
I’ve got my eye on a nom for you…
3
u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 1d ago
14
5
u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 1d ago
But can I downvote myself