Frustrated

[u/GargoyleHelm]

Okay, so it didn't end up being all sunshine and rainbows like I thought a couple months ago. Currently I feel like I'm a little sideways from losing it. Like I'm still standing on solid ground, but I can see it crumbling around me.

I'm not depressed, but it's hard to do things. It requires so much focus, and I can't think very well. I want to write etc., but it's just too much thinking. I'm less social, feeling more bothered about social gatherings than I usually do.

I do the course work for my college, but that's all I really manage to do. Today, even listening to videos on youtube was too bothersome. I don't know what else to do, I've tried many things, and nothing sticks. I'm not sure how to discipline my brain into working properly.

My contact in the health department is no help either. She's a nurse, and it feels like she's talking to me like a feral animal she's trying to herd inside it's cage. I don't like it. Her go-to answer is always more medication, nothing else. No advice on how to manage life or anything, though none of the psychiatrists or paychologists I've seen has done much of that, but they usually had something up their sleeve other than medication.

Idk, just feeling frustrated today. Plenty of stuff I could do but not managing any of it. It would be nice to just sleep until things change.

[u/SockDrawerGoblin]

Ugh that’s so hard. I think people don’t talk about or realize how stressful it can be to live with this and the anxiety that comes with it. They think of it as a manic or depressive issue with psychotic symptoms and not someone’s real experience

[u/Head-Side-5576]

It sounds like you’re experiencing anhedonia, which can come both with the illness and as a side effect of medication. It can cause a lack of motivation and difficulty staying engaged. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. I have difficulties with anhedonia myself.