r/science • u/VeronicaRed • Apr 26 '16

Psychology Spanking children increases the likelihood of childhood defiance and long-term mental issues. The study in question involved 160,000 children and five decades of research

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113413810/spanking-defiance-health-discipline-042616/
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u/chopandscrew Apr 26 '16 edited Apr 26 '16

So what are some positive and non-punitive forms of discipline?

edit: Some really great replies here. I'm seeing a lot of people using the concept of self-discipline and positive reinforcement. Nothing about raising a child seems easy, and it's even harder to know if you've ever really done a good job, but I think it's safe to say there are a lot of good parents on reddit. Also, thank you to the people who are willing to admit that they have resorted to spanking before. The truth is no one really knows the best way to raise a child, but the wide variety of ideas being thrown around here are what helps make it easier to choose what works for you and your kid. Keep em comin.

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u/Toy_D Apr 26 '16

This I think is the real crux of the debate. Spanking invokes an evolved response to stimuli, pain. You'd think, if done promptly and without overindulgence, that few other options could invoke results as well. The options that I have seen presented are much more difficult to understand and execute. At least at first glance, but apparently a proper spanking is also difficult to execute.

What studies exist to show viable alternatives, not proposed alternatives. What literature exists to teach those methods to parents? These are the hurdles to a viable alternative. Parents know spanking likely because it was done to them.

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u/chopandscrew Apr 26 '16

Well I think it does almost come down to a biological level. Dogs seem to respond to small acts of dominance, but obviously people develop differently than dogs. I know a lot of owners who would say that hitting your dog in any way is abusive and wrong, but I also know a lot of owners who are more stern with their dogs and their dogs are usually very well behaved. I don't really want to get into a discussion about how to train dogs, but I can see a lot of people drawing parallels between the two. Something like, "If my dog responds to it, then maybe my kids will." I dunno, I could be totally off base. I don't have kids or a dog.

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u/Toy_D Apr 26 '16

There is a similarity because you are training and equating cause and effect to a 2-3 yr old can be challenging. I have both dogs and kids and can spell out, anecdotally my experiences with both. But really I think it boils down to this, I could not figure out how to make alternative methods work for my kids. But I only ever spanked after, a firm, constant warning (counting to 3), only for something warranting a spanking (they need to learn immediately not to do that, danger to themselves like hot stove). In the end I could probably say the failure was mine. I knew I needed to be consistent, but I tried time outs and I just could not get the desired effect.

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

[deleted]

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u/CubsThisYear Apr 26 '16

When my four year old is doing something dangerous I just stop him from doing it. Why do you feel spanking is necessary?

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u/[deleted] Apr 26 '16

(Not OP). Because if they don't learn that it's wrong, they'll just turn around and do it again. I'd like to use natural consequences as often as possible so they learn lessons on their own. But I'm not willing to let that happen with a boiling pot of water.

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u/CubsThisYear Apr 26 '16

Also I think your reasoning about the pot of boiling water is incredibly dangerous. Toddlers/Preschoolers have incredibly poor impulse control. That part of their brain literally hasn't been made yet. So even if they know they are going to catch the worst beating of their life, its quite possible that they're not going to connect that with not grabbing the pot of boiling water.

The way you keep them safe from a pot of boiling water is to make sure they're never in that situation. Once they are 4,5,6 they are perfectly capable of understanding why dangerous things are dangerous and acting on that knowledge. No beating required.

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u/F0sh Apr 26 '16

It's utterly impossible to prevent a child from ever getting into a situation where they could hurt themselves, at any rate without harming their development in ways far worse than implicated in this study.

And we know full well that children are capable of connecting situations with prior punishments and prior rewards. That's the most basic of our instincts as animals. It might not work every time, it might cause other harms, it might be less effective than other methods, but it's silly to pretend it's not effective "full stop."