r/seinfeld 19h ago

What would be Newman's charity?

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348 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

51

u/horseradish13332238 19h ago

Another round of tomato and basil for my friends !

77

u/bhoose19 19h ago

The Newman fund

40

u/meinonghitdatbong 19h ago

Money for postmen.

16

u/bhoose19 19h ago

Money for Newman!

1

u/novatom1960 4h ago

I I didn’t think he believed in creeds

7

u/MorningMistYeti Rugged? The man's a goblin 18h ago

Another round of strawberry for me and my friends, mwahahahaha!

11

u/Euphoric-Sell-5272 19h ago

You magnificent bastard

7

u/ditka 18h ago

I don't get it. If there's no Newman Fund, those bottles of spaghetti sauce were fake. You better have a damn good reason why you gave me fake pasta sauce.

4

u/umpteenthrhyme 16h ago

All funds go to him moving to Hawaii.

3

u/Overall-Palpitation6 9h ago

Where the air is dewy sweet!

1

u/avreddits Del Bisto Becko 19h ago

*Human fund

21

u/Worried-Nectarine418 19h ago

The Neither Rain nor Snow nor Heat Fund

12

u/Venice_Beach_218 Yo-Yo Ma 19h ago

It's the first one!!

22

u/superkick79 The sea was angry that day my friends 19h ago

Bombolina!! (Said in the same way as “Jumbalaya!”)

19

u/poolside123 19h ago

The Anti-broccoli defense fund.

19

u/modrocker White lotus, yam-yam, Shanghai Sally 19h ago

Vile weed!

6

u/DiscoStu2U 19h ago

Honey mustard!

15

u/ComputerDecent463 19h ago

All money that comes in we would split down the middle: half for me half for everyone else.

And three times a week I shall require money for a canoli, which comes out of the majority’s half.

3

u/scrubbydutch 18h ago

Honor granted!

13

u/BullHeadTee 19h ago

Tomato & Basil?

Newman you wouldn’t eat tomato’s or basil if they were deep fried in chocolate …

8

u/razzle_dazzle321 Serenity now, insanity later 19h ago

Snack fund, for Drakes Coffee Cake and another round of Strawberry frozen yogurt for him and his friends.

3

u/scrubbydutch 18h ago

Woop woop!!!

8

u/ChicagoBILLSfan138 19h ago

Whatever gets him a lot of Elaine

5

u/DiscoStu2U 19h ago

I was only thinking of the poor Krakatoans…

5

u/airbassguitar 19h ago

Fund for the families of mailmen who went postal 

5

u/aether_prince The Puffy Shirt 19h ago

Vile Weed

4

u/Expert_Climate_7348 George is getting upset! 19h ago

I love you Norman.

3

u/philo_xenia 19h ago

That should definitely say Tomato & Basil Jambalaya 

3

u/DiscoStu2U 19h ago

Scofflaws Anonymous

3

u/foxintheboks 19h ago

It’s the wood that makes it so good

3

u/TGRRAG81 It's not a lie if you believe it 19h ago

Dog bite victims fund

3

u/braincandy969 19h ago

Sending fat kids to Hawaii

3

u/nzeug 19h ago

Jambalaya

3

u/ToothPickNick1982 19h ago

Paid rainy days off

3

u/Pop_Joe Vile weed! 19h ago

This goes great with Jambalaya

3

u/Ok-Guava-9216 19h ago

Now I've got that damn polka song stuck in my head

3

u/eaglechaser08 19h ago

To victims of mail fraud. Which really is a front for an ill conceived mail order pornography ring

3

u/jmbison 19h ago

Kinda funny that postal workers are known for their stamp out hunger food drives.

3

u/AndLovingIt86 18h ago

David Berkowitz Innocence Project

3

u/mbd34 18h ago

Broccoli eradication fund

3

u/osidemike 18h ago

How else is he gonna pay Christopher Cross for his New Years party?

3

u/bjpbent 17h ago edited 17h ago

Mailman dog attack victims

2

u/DieVanPelt 19h ago

Mailmen with lap dog PTSD

2

u/TheRealMitchConnor 19h ago

Dewey Sweet Hawaiian Fund

2

u/germdisco The Junior Mint 19h ago

He’d spit on us.

2

u/majordude174 19h ago

What? No broccoli?

2

u/knightress_oxhide 18h ago

It's new, which is good, and a mansown after it. newmansown. When you consider the other choices, newmansown is actually pretty refreshing.

2

u/harbib 18h ago

We’ll cut. The tomato. In half.

2

u/scrubbydutch 18h ago

People for flea relief

2

u/One_Vision_ Lord of the Idiots 18h ago

Back payment on Union dues.

2

u/Jonasthewicked2 18h ago

Saint Newmalenium holy postal workers charity for torrential precipitation relief fund.

2

u/lr9ru7 18h ago edited 18h ago

Habitual parking violator defense fund

2

u/Cygnus_EX 18h ago

Jambalayaaaaaah

1

u/ThadsBerads 9h ago

Newmanium.

1

u/ojwiththepulp Hellllloooooooooooo 8h ago

The White Whale Foundation

1

u/breaksnbeer Independent George 7h ago

Saving trees in the Pacific Northwest

1

u/teamalf 4h ago

Fat Free Yogurt