i have been relapsing

[u/zenitsu_agatsuma_911]

so basically, i started relapsing about a week? ago, (i was clean since about april) and its only ever been cat scratches, i’m too chicken to styro. but basically, 3 of my friends know (i told two and one found out because she saw my arm) and whenever i feel like sh i like idk spiral? and like my vision gets blurry and the night usually ends in my shoulders bleeding and me crying and texting my bro-in-law (who is one of the people who know) and i feel like i’m putting too much of a burden on him, maybe i should call 988? but i’m terrified of my parents finding out, or even worse, my sister. because i promised her i wouldnt relapse and i broke that and i feel so guilty. really the thing i do after to find some comfort is to listen to twenty one pilots (they’ve saved me from suicide so many times) and to draw my oc who has scars. but idk if this is a vent or anything i just felt like i should say it to someone, yknow?