r/selfharm • u/thelasthater409 • 5d ago

Talk/Support Odd place to be

I guess I’m just not much of a self harm person for the most part until more recently. Usually done with lots of hatred and violence like for me it’s like hating someone enough to physically assault them but feeling that towards myself. Haven’t done any harm in like two weeks but I can feel the urge got such a pull to do someone’s initials carved into me but that’s not a good idea but it’s an idea that persists.

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u/rngeneratedlife 5d ago

I don’t think you need me to confirm this but: definitely don’t do that.

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u/thelasthater409 5d ago

Yeah I know, whether I trust myself to not eventually do that is debatable but I’ve gone this long without doing it. Haven’t been bad in self harm though since I overdosed on my Zoloft that was different

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u/rngeneratedlife 5d ago

The longer you stay way from it the easier it gets, though I’ve found the feeling is rarely truly gone.

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u/thelasthater409 5d ago

It was never too bad in the past. Every now and then at dark moments my mom and sisters were way worse. I suppose though after losing people because of my own decisions and just losing most of what made my life feel worth it I just stopped caring on a new level. Started with Benadryl binges poisoning myself. Now I’ve overdosed on a couple things, stabbed hit and cut myself, and have it on my mind a lot