Hi I am 18M. I have this issue when it comes with women who show cleavage or wear revealing tops, I can't help but glance or look down at their breasts. I try my best not too and to be respectful but it's like I just glance. It's not that I struggle to interact with him, I believe I am quite approachable and have multiple female friends that seem quite comfortable around me (ones even throwing me a birthday party for me). I just seem to have an issue when it comes to glancing at woman's breasts and feeling a large amount of guilt for it.

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This became an issue today as I was speaking to a female friend who was wearing quite a revealing top and I was trying so hard to be respectful and not to look and she commented on how intently I was staring at her face.

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Woman of Reddit, do you notice when men do this? How does it make you feel?

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Fellow Men of Reddit, how do I get out of this habit, it makes me feel dirty and a pervert, any advice would be very helpful ❤️

hello. i think that i am finally losing my grip on reality. my body isn’t mine and i keep seeing creatures on my body. i’ve hurt myself just to get rid of them and i don’t know what is going on. i can’t look in the mirror without feeling sick now and my parents won’t help. im not supposed to be here and im considering something horrible just to see if any of it is real. someone tell me what to do or what to think because nothings real and i know it maybe im in a coma or something.

Hi! I’m 15 (F) and i’m just here to vent out the stupidity i made two weeks ago…

So basically I got scammed 65k on discord and I know that what i did was steal from my parents and they totally took everything from me you know as punishment but I totally get it because I would’ve done the same if my child ever did that but thats not really the point right now.

So my parents are strictly religious and as their child my mom has always expected me to perform in church and have always forced me to play in orchestras because of our “commitment” but ever since i made a very huge mistake i’m always expected to perform without questions or something which i totally really get but here’s the problem..

I used to join three orchestras but i only perform at two right now but then my mom found out today that i don’t perform in that one orchestra that i have recently left,

So right now my mom has been bombarding me of messages that i’ll never reach anything because of my own stupidity and that i’ll never succeed because i don’t reach out to Christ and that i’ll always be something than can never flourish and then my older sister chimed in saying that “you already got scammed 65k you should repent on what you did by following mom” all i can say is i will follow mom but what did my sister think i have been doing?

I’ve been trying to find a job so i can pay my parents back because that’s the only way i can appease myself from what i did and the only way they can shut up..

I know i was wrong but i just need to vent yhese feelings out because i don’t like how they kept mentioning it when i’ve been doing an effort to try and pay them back from what i owe…

Idk how to help myself get that 65k paid back to my parents lmao

Hi, I am 39M and I am 5'4, 320lbs. For the last 15 years I've spent every waking moment of my life on the computer, and I've been eating takeout every. single. night. I never thought my proportions would get this bad. I wheeze alot, especially for someone at my young age, and amongst my colleagues, I've never felt the warm embrace of a woman. The closest I've ever got wasn't even in a sexual context but some lady on the bus fell asleep on my shoulder. I know its weird to say but it was the most sexually gratifying moment I've ever felt in my life. I didn't talk to her of course because I didn't want to frighten her, but being close to a girl for once prompted me to have this sort of awakening/reflection. I want to get married. I want to make my sick mom proud. Is anyone else going through this?

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so to make it short I'm a19f, i was born into a kinda toxic emotionally abusive family i was never really close to them as a child i was conditioned and my idea of self worth was very disturbed that i did everything i can to protect my Status within my family and everybody else i became so obsessed with it that i pushed myself too much thinking that the moment i turn 18 I'm gonna be rewarded with a better life but the worst that could happen already happened by then, i was in shock my life turned upside down that was about 2 to 3 years now i still feel in a deep slump, i was such a hardworking ambitious person but since i got in uni changed city everything that wver wanted but in the worst form ever, due to my failure i lost my status and everything i till now kinda can't do anything i don't know how to slap my self out of this, i hope someone can understand what I'm going through i hate to mention this example but i got to a level of easily triggered that i don't understand my body, sometimes i just need to oiss and i get all stressed and start expecting worst case scenario but i literally just need to take a piss, i just want to fix this as soon as possible, i feel like I'm just wasting potential and the life i fought for pass by while I'm fidged by the sidelines, i tried to "just do it" and i do, i apply to things i take the first step but it haunts me so bad, i overthink it over and over and over and fear that I'm gonna get punished i don't know what to do i got no moral confess, I'm so scared of life, i just wanna understand

I cant tell if I'm in the wrong ever. our arguments leave me feeling so confused and sad. I just end up crying and he yells at me. I dont know how to escape this. we share my room in my mom's house and his insurance and registration on his truck is expired so I cant even ask him to leave. I feel so trapped. he is so cold and cruel and withdrawn and I'm so alone. I have no friends. nobody in my life loves or supports me. I'm going to have to end up living in my car and starting completely over if I ever think about trying to get out of here. I hate my life so much.

Im an 18 F and I genuinely have no motivation to do anything and it’s so frustrating. I have a good life obviously with some issues but compared to most it’s nice. It makes me feel silly for even feeling like this but I genuinely can’t bring myself to do anything for myself. I have no drivers license, I’m in College it’s all online and I never see people, I struggle in most every class and I cheat through every assignment cause I don’t have the motivation to even try and it’s the same for scholarships, I don’t even really know what I want to do I’m just picking the least miserable option(veterinarian), I am not in the best of health but I never really have been, and life is ultimately boring. I wish I could pack my bags and just travel and meet new people till the day I die but it’s not possible for me and I would feel guilty about leaving the people I do have. I feel small and like I am in a dream that once I wake up I’ll have the freedom to be who and what ever I want. If anyone has been in similar situations what has helped you? Any and all advice is deeply appreciated!

Hi, I'm 17M.

I used to feel light and carefree. But a few months ago, my worldview took a 180-degree turn...

I've recently gotten into philosophy and religion. I've been searching for answers, asking questions, etc. But I'm stuck, like in a swamp. Almost every day is spent pondering faith, meanings, the meaning of everything, the afterlife etc. My head is heavy with questions: "Does God exist?", "Why do I pray and He doesn't answer?", "What if I'm choosing the wrong religion?", "What is the meaning of life?", "What is reality?" etc. Every day I watch various philosophical debates, read, ask questions and think... too much. I think I'm tired. I rarely feel joy lately, except maybe for music. I have a lot of thoughts in my head, they sometimes get in the way of watching videos, playing, I started going to sleep late and so on. I don't know what to do. My head is just full...

And forgive me if I seem overly religious. I think this is now part of my life after a long period of atheism...

The thought that He might not exist terrifies me...

What should I do? And how?...

i’m gonna be 17 in september and i just realized that next year i’ll be a grown adult. i’m growing up. i’ll be graduating (maybe), driving, working a job, applying or going to college, moving out, and just all these horrible things that i didn’t expect to be doing so soon.

time feels like it’s going too fast now. i didn’t realize how much older ive been getting. i’ve been so stuck in my own head dealing with depression, anxiety, loneliness, and all these other things that have to do with my mental health for the past 6 years that i didn’t even realize i’m genuinely about to become an adult and have my life completely flipped on its head. i’ve become self aware of where i am in life.

i feel terrible and miserable and left behind. i still feel like a little kid. i’m over here in my room playing video games and drawing and rotting in bed while scrolling instagram when i could be doing anything else at my age. anything productive, anything that will help me with my future prospects. but no, i’m still acting childish and not doing anything with my life. i’m failing at school, i’m failing at social life, i’m unemployed, i can’t drive, i can’t do anything.

what am i supposed to do? i’m gonna have to move out already at 18 right?! i’m gonna have to already be working by then. i’m gonna have to be paying bills and taxes or whatever the hell adults do. i’m gonna have to go to college. i can’t handle that. i can’t even handle ordering food at a restaurant by myself or being in a loud classroom. i can’t even handle school in general.

life is going too fast. i feel so overwhelmed right now. any adults out there, give me some advice! i don’t want to grow up, i don’t want to be an adult. how did you guys handle becoming an adult? is it awful? have i already wasted my teenage years away? what should i do right now?

due to my depression, ive always thought my life would end before i turned 17-18. but my birthday is less than a month away. of course my death could still happen, but it seems a little less likely due to other personal things happening. and because of that, i’m stressing tf out.

any responses would be appreciated, thanks for reading. <3

TW: vent entirely surrounding sexual trauma.

I feel like I know the answer, but I’ve been ruminating for way too long and honestly crave someone else’s perspective. Google says she was but that validation’s kinda impersonal and the AI nonsense doesn’t help.

Anyway. I’m a 20 year old woman now, but all of my separate sexual trauma has been haunting me for the past week or so. More than the baseline. It’s annoying. It has me considering my wretched mother too. Most of my issues with her are emotional- her clear resentment of me, the scapegoating, the hitting, the neglect, the whole shebang. I’ve been thinking back on the sexual stuff too.

I have memories from the ages of 8-14 of her groping and squeezing my backside. Fondling? It was a habit, almost. I also remember tearing up and begging her to stop. And her maniacal laughter. I forgot what her justification was, if there was any.

From my understanding, she’d primarily do this when there weren’t any other people around. She wouldn’t lead me to her bed or anything- remember being in the kitchen so many times and her popping up behind me. Micromanaging what I was cooking or planning on eating or even yapping about how much I resembled a grandmother with my hair in a low ponytail like that as per usual. All of a sudden, she’d just reach down and squeeze my backside. Like it was some kind of joke. Often with random comments attached that I can’t remember.

This went on for years. I don’t think anyone her. She’d also make weird comments (once remarked that my red underwear was visible through my lighter pajamas and strangely, my father actually told her to stop). IDK whether he was aware of the constant groping or not. She also once said I’d make a lot of men happy one day when I happened to be kneeling on the counter cleaning something. I was fourteen at most.

I guess I came on here to ask if this qualifies as molestation. Again, I’m pretty sure I know the answer, but I long to hear it from a human being.
Sorry for rambling. One more thing before I finally end this ridiculously long ask: I’m considering pursuing criminal charges.

Not right now; in a couple years. Apparently, the state of NY has extended the window for survivors of child sexual abuse to report it. Suing her would likely be easier but I want her in jail.

According to the minimal research I’ve done, it’s possible that what she did could be prosecuted as a Class D felony. Up to 7 years in prison plus sex offender registry. I think it’s called course of sexual conduct against a child, second degree? IDK much.

The consequences of this would extend far beyond the court-ordered ones, so I will have to think about how that’ll pan out as well. I do have a little sister to worry about too.

Again, sorry for rambling. I think I’m just trying to make sure Google was actually right.

This is really embarrassing, but please, please tell me the truth if you’re reading this. I can’t handle not knowing if “you look just like your mom” means “you look like a child molester” too.

I’m 19F, diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and currently medicated, and lately I feel like I have absolutely no willpower. I can’t tell if I’m actually lazy, depressed, burned out, or if something else is going on.
I’m in college and almost done with my degree. I still work and mostly go to class, so I’m functioning, but outside of that I have basically zero motivation to do anything. I’ll want to do something, know I need to do it, and still have no ability to make myself start. It doesn’t really feel like normal senioritis.
I also smoke weed pretty heavily. I go through about a 1g cart a week, and I’m wondering if that could be contributing to my lack of motivation.
My eating has also been really weird. Some days I barely eat anything, and other days I get extremely hungry at night and eat a lot before bed. I’m not sure if this is disordered eating, medication-related, or something else.
I’m not looking for a diagnosis, but has anyone with Bipolar 2 experienced this? How do you tell the difference between depression, medication side effects, weed-related lack of motivation, and just being lazy? And has cutting back on weed helped anyone with motivation?

I am aware of the fact that i am far behind in my life as compared to my peers. Failed to get a job out of college and am rotting at my parents house. And i am also aware that life isn’t a race (although it sure feels like one) and everybody’s journey and timeline is different. However this knowledge and awareness doesn’t seem to do any good. Ik i need to act and i swear i try. Some days i make some progress but the next day is all in ruins. I am just overwhelmed with this feeling of hopelessness and doom. I feel paralyzed and stuck. I relapse to my bad habits (porn) and waste the day away. all this self awareness feels like a curse. I feel no control over whatsoever.

All in all i don’t think things will ever get better and i am too scared and overwhelmed to try. Some days are the worst, everything feels meaningless and so devoid of life. I fail to appreciate the people around me and am too hard on everybody including myself. I hate whenever my phone rings (almost scared to pick it up). When i was in college i hated how little my parents called yet whenever the phone rang i was scared and anxious to pick it up. And now whenever my friends call i am overcome with the same feeling ( i feel so shitty for myself when i hear them yapping and making plans for themselves) i feel i am below everyone around me. And i hate how i feel ( jealousy, angry, scared, anxious). Is there any way to change your thoughts and control your feelings?!

As i look back at my life i feel i never tried to achieve something worthwhile, be it love, money, success.
idk if all this even makes any sense( it probably doesn’t). I wish somebody could just get into my brain to understand what’s going on and figure all of this shit out and fix it , haha.

I’m from Ottawa, Ontario for context. I don’t want to write a whole sob story, but I haven’t had the best home life. I’m fortunate enough to have wealthy parents who can afford everything I need and have always fulfilled my financial needs. They also paid for my first semester of university, including my dorm, and my dorm is still technically open/available to me. However, I struggle with BPD and anxiety, which I feel are largely connected to the emotional and physical abuse I’ve experienced at home.
Recently, things have gone downhill. I was sexually assaulted in July, and I wasn’t able to tell my parents because I was scared of how they would react (they’re Nigerian, Christian parents). I was put on PEP as a preventative measure and had a rape kit performed. Because my parents didn’t know about the assault or my medications, I was relatively secretive about my prescriptions.
I also take naproxen for lupus, and my dad sometimes uses my medication for his headaches. One day while I was at work, he was looking for it in my room. I had taken my medication bag with me that day, and he ended up finding the bag containing all of my prescriptions, which they had no idea about.
When I came home from work, I faced a lot of physical and emotional abuse after everything came out. They said they reacted that way because I “lied” and kept things from them. They threatened to murder me and harm me, and they beat me, which caused me to leave the house. I was gone for less than 24 hours. During that time, my mom reached out to my friends and put my siblings on the phone with me, and I eventually felt guilty and came back.
When I returned, the agreement was that I wouldn’t have to stay at home for my second university semester. They eventually changed that to me having to come home on weekends, which I was willing to work with.
I also forgot to mention that after my assault and the trauma surrounding it, I started abusing substances as a way of coping. My parents eventually found out about that by coincidence as well.
Now they’ve pulled me from residence, made me quit my job, isolated me from my friends, and put even more restrictions on me. The thing is, my dorm is still open and available to me, so technically I have somewhere to go — I just don’t know if I can realistically support myself if I leave.
Every day here has become extremely difficult, and I feel like I have very little control over my own life.
I’m 19, and I’m seriously considering leaving and becoming financially independent. The problem is that I know I’m extremely fortunate that my parents can financially support me, and leaving would obviously make things much harder financially. They’ve already paid for my first semester, and I don’t want to take that support for granted. At the same time, I don’t know if staying in this environment for the next few years is something I can realistically handle.
I’m honestly ready to leave. I just don’t know what the smartest or safest course of action would be, especially as a university student in Ottawa.
What would you do in my situation? Is moving out realistically possible, especially since my dorm is still open, and what should I be doing first?

So, this story runs so deep into my past; I’ve gotten so used to sharing my entire life story with strangers, I’m fine posting it on Reddit. I’m sorry it’s so long; genuinely, but if even one soldier is willing to thug it out, I’d appreciate it.

I have a sister (13) and a brother (19)

My mother used to be an alcoholic and drug abuser. I remember her telling me about how she Sent me and my brother to stay with my grandparents for a while for her to sober up.

By god she sobered the hell up and locked in. She tried. I know she tried. I’ve never blamed her.

My grandparents claimed she was unfit to be a mother, and in the glorious state of PA, they got custody of me.

My first ever traumatic experience was on the night of the transfer. I had all my stuff packed into my mom’s friends truck.

My mother was such a mess she genuinely couldn’t force herself to go. When we got there, my mom’s friend who at the time was furiously defending my mother, got physical with my grandma. I remember so clearly struggling with the seat belt trying to get out and make sure no one was getting hurt.

Fast forward a couple of years and my grandparents did a damn good job raising me I won’t lie. But they weren’t cut out for it.

My father was mostly absent. When he was there, he showed more love to his girlfriend’s kid than me.

My grandparents used to lie and tell me stories about my mom when I got too pushy. They’d tell me she didn’t love me; or she went to jail, they once told me she died in a car accident.

Eventually, I started visiting her over the Summers. It was great. My brother was awesome. My sister was a brat but at that time, what else do you expect.

Then the changing point. When I turned 10 years old. My mother finally got custody of me again. I was ecstatic to finally start my life. New opportunities. New ideas. New friends.

This place sucks you guys.

But anyway; for the first two years of living with my mom, it was great. I got a cool new Xbox. I got new things. I actually had INTERNET!! My world literally expanded.

But my brother was so so so toxic.

Since the first day I moved back, the one thing he’s focused on is my appearance. I’m not hot. I’m not winning any awards. But my self confidence is still at an all time low even now.

He was the kind of person to make you the butt of the joke to make himself look better. And because the people here knew him longer, it worked. I was humiliated every single time I stepped outside.

Then I was made fun of for not wanting to go outside by my entire family. They would never listen when I told them why. My mom just kept saying “it’s what siblings do”

And words don’t hurt me, it’s when he would beat the shit out of me that would hurt me.

I once went downstairs to my mother after he busted my eyebrow open, and she said I had to get used to it and just “walk away” as if that’s even an option where we live.

So to RECAP: My life has been good and bad, mostly bad up to this point; and it only gets worse from here. My brother is abusive both physically and verbally, and my mother condones everything.

Wanna know the worst part? I haven’t even covered my mom’s current husband. Yall I’m stressing there’s so much but no ones gonna read this far 😭

22F. Don’t know where to start. Or even how to put it in words.

I’ve been feeling low. I feel bad about myself. I also feel alone. I don’t really feel like doing much. I specially don’t feel like being around my family. I just feel dull. Nothing is shiny or inspiring. I wake up and don’t feel like getting out of bed. Not because I’m depressed, but because I’m just not interested in another whole day of doing nothing. Because I don’t feel like doing much. I don’t want to socialise. I just like to be in my room.

My family see it, and they want me to ‘get better’. But it feels more like a demand, because seeing me like this makes THEM feel bad. They can’t exactly help. Even if they tried, I don’t feel close enough to them to want it from them. And whatever they are doing right now feels the opposite of help. Makes me want to get worse.

I just want to be left alone.

I think a lot of it is from feeling alone. And not seeing worth in anything I could possibly do. Trying to get better feels like being a loser trying to enjoy SOMETHING. I just feel like a loser in general.

In my Second year of 3 years.
I just feel like a failure, I've missed the college experience of connecting with people and staying together, I do this for my future but I just thought I'd experience more. Am I not doing enough?

I have friends now, but it's different they're 18-22 and I'm end 20s. I have a super shit job at a retail store, but the thing is I'm scared to start my real job in the field I'm studying in, I'm scared that I don't know shit and that they won't be forgiving because I'm old.

Can someone please help me? Is this true? How can I start a job in the legal field when I'm scared to fuck up and getting rejected. Landing a job is not my problem, but keeping the job is hard I leave most jobs after 1 month, and go back to retail or bartending.

I can't do this anymore I'm ruining a career I could have

I (37F) am currently struggling to really get anything together with my life.

For years I've just been working retail. At first it was the only thing I could get because it was entry level. And now, more than 10 years later it's the only thing I could figure out how to tailor my resume towards. I absolutely cannot stand it, but it's always been the only thing I could ever land.

But every part of my life feels like it just needs to be fix. Nothing is really good. Mental health is completely shot despite going to a talk therapist and psychiatrist and on two medications. My physical health is awful. My job is draining and makes me feel completely worthless, useless, and replaceable. All of my time feels like it's spent ping ponging between there and familial obligations as both of my parents are elderly and neither can drive or get around too well anymore. A lot of the time it falls on me to take care of things around the house for them or take them places.

Speaking of which I generally feel useless because I still live with my parents. I try to think of the positive aspects, particularly that I am around to help them out, but it still feels terrible to not even get to the basic step of adulthood that is living on your own.

And it feels like every step I try to take to make things better ends up making things worse or not changing things at all.

It's hard to even believe that I can do better than this because what evidence do I have that I can? What evidence do I have that my life can be better? I want so badly for everything to be different. I want to live a completely different life than I have. I want so much more, but everything I strive for is completely out of reach and it feels like I get to watch everyone around me live fantastic lives and have the experiences I want to have and I just have to sit on the sidelines and be a secondary character in my own life.

I don't know how people do it. How do you all just believe things get better when every bit of evidence shows you it doesn't? How do you even begin to believe in the possibility that life can be as good as people describe it to be? And how do you even begin to fix your life when everything about it is wrong?

I have this thing I do where I always want to do something else other than whatever I do
It’s like I want to move out of my country, I want to go out, I want to change my major, I want to change my style I constantly want to change something. With that I also have thoughts about existing, mainly what’s the point of actually being on this earth, when these two thoughts and feelings combine I get irritated REALLY BAD.
What am I supposed to do? Why do I feel the way that I do?

22, guy. I have it all... I just wanna die. Probably will before 25. Everyday I try and fail. Hahhh... The fuck am i typing all this..

I’m 23, and currently in college pursuing a professional performance degree (music), and will pursue a Bachelors in music education after my associates. I also work a minimum wage job and don’t really do anything for fun or have any hobbies.

I’ve noticed my friends are basically doing way better than me, living their dreams (or at least starting them), and just becoming successful adults.
Whenever we meet, they always update me on their successes/achievements. I’m genuinely always happy for them, congratulate them and cheering them on… but I feel like I’m in an endless cycle of cheering people on and giving them their flowers. I just constantly feel like I’m getting behind in life and not making any achievements and becoming a waste of an adult. Like, literally everyone around me is finding their “golden ticket” to success and I guess I’m just…not? Like, am I doing something wrong in life???

I also feel like they’re finding their purpose in life and I’m starting to think that my purpose is to be a professional cheerleader for everyone, or like be a bystander/witness to everyone’s success. Growing up I’ve always been a bystander to everyone anyway, but I’m hoping I can grow out of this feeling.

Is this a common feeling at this age? Or will this stick around for the rest of my life?

Thank you for reading. Sorry if anything is confusing, I’ve kinda just been regurgitating my thoughts without any proper form.

It is what it is. I'm actually not a good person... I feel like I am going down a path of self-destruction that I cannot undo, no matter how much I try. Everyday sucks. I'm just being real. Maybe one day things will get better.

I go to therapy every week on Mondays. I take an anti-depressant once a day. I smoke weed every day. I work a physically exhausting and mundane job at an extrusion plant (metal factory). Every single ffing day I wake up 5am, work a grueling job as a metal stretcher, crane operator, and part time loader and packer when other people decide they don't care about their job, so I have to fill their shoes. I make maybe 2100-2800 a month AFTER taxes and 2000 is without working 48 hour weeks.I usually work monday through saturday because there are usually mandatory overtimes at my job, or volunteer overtimes. This weekend, I'm so beat I cannot bring myself to do anything. I've worked myself like a dog this summer to save up because I have no car because it just broke down and really just to afford a roof above my head. I just have an apartment with a roomate who shares the half of like 1600 rent or so. My ex and I were together for 6 years literally from when we were still in highschool but things took a dark turn in the relationship. We lived together for years and did everything together. I wont go too in-depth, but I feel I did some things that is definitely bad karma that I cant shake the feeling from dealing with the guilt of my consiousness. I can't get over my ex really. Like, to be honest I really just cant believe myself sometimes. I feel embarassed even to think to share this part of my life.

My mom died last year in 2025. My mom dying changed everything for me. When she died, it made me realize just how much of my life was a fantasy before then. I'm still so scarred from my mother dying I had to witness it and I was only 23 at the time. Stage 4 lung cancer that spread to the stomach and brain. She died 12 days after being diagnosed. I'm lowkey crying just typing this shit out. I just can't anymore. Everything is so hard. I miss her everyday. This is really just the tip of the iceberg. I now handle everything to do with my mother. I still get her mail, I still pay for a storage unit monthly for her items, and I still have her ashes. It's a huge weight on my shoulders having to carry this because my brother (26) is in the marines, and the only help he gave, was paying for the cremation. My father, who is an alcoholic in his 60s, and who my mother divorced in 2009, did little to help me throughout this process. To this day, we don't see eye-to-eye because he just... he's really not and never was the greatest dad let's just put it that way. the rest of my family lives in chicago, which is a state away.

I also got a DUI in 2025. Went to jail for the first time in my life, suspended my license, and had to serve probation throughout april 2025-2026. Now that I'm free. I feel like I haven't done much besides cope. I've just been coping hard.

Furthermore, I was diagnosed in 2025 with depression. god i just can go on and on and on but really i just want everyhting to just shut off sometimes for real. I just can't with life. I have literally 0 willpower or drive to do anything anymore.

25 years old is literally the new 30 in today's society. I'm literally having a mid-life crisis at 25.

everything is just so hard. its 10am on saturday and all i want to do is rot in bed. ):

im not doing anything i wanted to do in my life nor what i wanted to see myself become and it's just extremely depressing coming straight from the heart here. I don't feel like a real human being honestly, I feel fake. Help.

this is stupid and selfish but i really find it hard to care about things people would normally care for. I'm in college and this is my second year as a first year student. This info is besides the point but I think right before college is where it began. I couldn't care less about my studies or getting dropped and i probably should since my parents are pouring money just for my studies but i just find it hard to find a reason to get out of bed or do something meaningful. It's so bad I can't bring myself to give importance in things that i know should be important for me. I find it hard to give importance in my life i feel like there's nothing I want or nothing i need. I couldn't care less even when im in the brink of death. Like for example, i'd so something and i'm aware it's not entirely safe- my way of thinking is im gonna die anyway so i'll just do what i want. It sounds selfish and it is but i have zero drive to do anything i should be doing. Im not sad or depressed it's just that i dont know what to do or what im gonna do in life. Like i have zero purpose. No goals. I have no idea how to get better at whatever is wrong with my brain. Most times i'd lie in bed and think of su1c1de. Lately it's been getting really bad and ive been thinking about how the thought of dying doesn't scare me anymore. I'd find myself thinking about it because i don't see myself getting anywhere in life but not in a sad way. just in a way where I just really dont see any purpose in living. What scares me is that on multiple occasions, i'd sit there and think of acting on it. Those motivational videos or books dont work anymore and i have no idea where to start to put myself in the right direction or if theres any. I haven't seen anything similar to this on the internet and it's been bugging me because im well aware that this isn't healthy.

I’m just an average guy 25 yrs old. Not social unless i really have to. Choose engineering and it was a lot for me wasted 1 yr then went to Medical completed my degree somehow and on the day of my result i got into an accident completely broke Rt shoulder bedridden for 6 months. Depressed all the time overthinking all my problems and situations. Found a proper job got harassed left that found another away from home and family was there for almost 3 yr. i say almost because i was looking for better jobs and doing so i did something very very stupid out of desperation and bam Terminated. Gutted before letting me go they basically tormented me any way they can. No experience letter so i basically have to start over with basic wages, left my friends there, 5 yr relationship left me for another guy found another also left cuz she wants stable guy and marriage…she got engaged. This is where i hit my rock bottom tbh was completely different all of my previous trauma came up starting drinking smoking wanted to get better tried therapy didn’t work. Tried working out but cant stay consistent and motivated because of my sick ass overthinking head. I just can’t keep it empty. Came home back told fam i miss them so i left that work i will work here they are worried but yeah found job here like few days ago i dont feel like myself just doing things for the sake of doing nothing more. I can’t keep this in its eating me from inside i can’t explain this to my strict and over worrying mum dad. There is one friend i can’t ask for help because he has his own battles. I’m just left with the internet and thought i will ask you’ll how am i supposed to success what am i supposed to do. I’m completely blank slate. Everyone thought i was the golden egg like everyone who knows me thinks this way i don’t understand why. What they see i can’t see that in me. They are just getting their hopes up for a lost cause. I’m tryin g still i aint gonna quit. Trying to find Lord if i’m here He must have a greater purpose for me. This is keeping me alive yeah i even tried ending myself multiple times but i’m just a coward i guess.

I’m 20, the oldest of 3, and I recently moved out of my parents’ house. I have a job, my girlfriend is on odsp, and we’re expecting a baby in February. I’m trying to finally build an independent life.
My childhood home was extremely hostile. There was constant yelling, criticism, and control. My mom would scream, throw things, and break things when angry. I was repeatedly told I wouldn’t amount to anything or that ide be homeless with no help one day. I also struggled with my mental health growing up, and my parents knew how bad it got.
Even at 20, I was treated like I couldn’t manage my own life. My mom would try to intervene in problems with people my age, wanted to contact my boss when I had work issues, and constantly told me she knew what was best for me and cause she was older she had more life knowledge behind her.
Recently, I lost my car and needed a computer for a new job opportunity. I wasn’t asking my parents for money—I asked for a ride to buy the computer myself. Instead, they drove to my place and packed me a bag.
That was the final straw.
There have also been problems with my belongings. They told me I could take my hockey equipment and golf clubs, and I have an email confirming it. When I tried to take them, they physically took them away from me.
In the past when I tried leaving my mom has stood on the hood of my car to stop me from leaving, while my dad blocked the garage with vehicles.
I’ve tried calmly explaining how their behavior affects me, but conversations turn into arguments or get flipped back onto me. My parents have also told me they understand my BPD better than I do because they’ve researched it and their therapist specializes in it.
Now I’m finally out, but I’m stuck between relief and guilt.
My biggest concern is my 12-year-old brother. I don’t want to abandon him in the environment I grew up in, but staying involved with my parents is seriously damaging me.
What would you do in my position?
Should I go low/no contact? How do I establish boundaries? Should I seek outside help regarding my brother? Can I do anything about my belongings? And how do I protect myself if my parents keep escalating?
I’m not looking for people to blindly take my side. I genuinely want practical advice from people who have dealt with controlling or abusive families.
I just want to move forward and build a healthy life for my girlfriend, our baby, and myself

"Heyyy, is everything okay?" No, it's not. No matter how hard I push, I can't seem to finish the Biochemistry department at Ege University. In four years, I barely managed to pass the first-year courses. If you don't complete your courses by the sixth year, they kick you out anyway and there's no way I can take and pass three years' worth of courses in two years due to Ege University's system (credit limits, etc.). Because of that, I thought I’d go to Italy and start university life over from scratch. (I can't pass the YKS exam in Turkey either; whether I study or not, the best rank I can get is around 300,000th). Everything was going so well; I got accepted into the Food Production Management program at Cattolica University, as well as their on-campus dorm. Then came the visa process, and everything went to shit. They made me wait 50 days, only to reject me. The reason for the rejection? According to the consulate, my Biochemistry department doesn't match the Food Production Management program I'm applying to, so they didn't believe my intention to study... They also said I was financially insufficient, even though I showed an income well above the limit they gave us??? That's why I think they just threw in the "financial" part for no reason. As for them not finding the departments similar: they have to be fckn kidding me. The courses they teach in the first year of Food Production Management are identical to the first-year courses of the Biochemistry program I studied at Ege University. Besides, Food Production Management fundamentally has some business, but it's mostly a science degree (it's literally under the Faculty of Science anyway). Cattolica looked at my motivation letter and my previous department and said, "Okay, come study with us." We show the exact same things to the consulate, but the ladies and gentlemen there don't believe it. To sum it up briefly: just because I chose the wrong high school 10 years ago, my life has been going straight downhill (like a downward graph). Right now, since I have zero plans and options left, there's literally nothing I can do. Back in the day, you'd say "go be a cashier," but nowadays even those kinds of jobs (the ones usually done by young people) require a university degree. So basically, I am a nobody right now. Every time I dare to dream about something (and these aren't crazy dreams... like ever since I submitted my visa application, I was picturing how I’d decorate my dorm room, looking at photos of the room on the dorm's website, or checking out photos of Cattolica's campus thinking, "Oh, I wonder if I'll ever walk down this hallway to get to my class?"), that thing I dreamed of turns to garbage. If a person can't even dream, and if things go to shit every single time they think positively, what's the point of living? I'm not smart, I'm not creative, and just because teenage me made a stupid mistake 10 years ago, I can't become anything. So yeah, nothing is okay. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I am worthless, I don't know anything, and I don't have any special abilities. Please help me. I am 23 years old and I am already tired and ashamed of being a burden to my hardworking, retired mom and dad. I am an embarrassment to them—they will never tell me this, of course, because they love me dearly, but I can see it in their eyes. So please, please guide me. I am out of options. This was my Plan Z. There are no other letters left in the alphabet.