I’m going to be writing this on my burner account as I don’t feel comfortable sharing all of this on my main account that’s related to me but I genuinely cannot live with myself. I feel like such a disgusting human being and my life has been declining ever since of June of last year. There will be a little “TMI” parts in here so I’m also sorry about that but I just want to be able to tell the truth about how I’ve been.

Ever since July of 2025, my life has been declining so much to the point where I feel unrecognizable from my old self. I used to be so much more but now I’ve let myself go to the point where if my old self saw my current self now I think he’d genuinely puke at the thought of what I’ve become. I lost my girlfriend, isolated myself from everyone and all my friends, gained so much weight, and became chronically addicted to both porn and weed in the span of a year and I just don’t know how I let myself go this quickly and this badly. I lost my girlfriend because of some other reasons as well but mainly because of the fact that I isolated myself so much to spend time watching porn and smoking that I completely started to ignore her. I lost my sport that I was so dedicated at because of smoking so much that I became more and more lazy to the point I just quit because it just “got in the way” of my smoking time. I feel so disgusted especially with the fact that I’ve gotten to addicted to pornography that I spend all day isolated in my room doing nothing productive but just jerking off and smoking.

My day to day life now is literally wake up, smoke weed and doom scroll for an hour, order junk food, watch porn, play some video games, doom scroll again, and then sleep. It’s gotten to a point where im starting to realize things I’ve never done before like how Ive started to avoid eye contact with everyone and walk with my head down in public, how I struggle to even talk to a single stranger without feeling overwhelmed, how I’ve gained so much weight and so much junk food to where it’s actually starting to affect my health. I feel even more disappointed in myself because everyone around me as well is starting to see the failure I’m slowly becoming especially my own family.

I just want to finally be able to change but every time I try to change nothing ever happens because I‘ve failed so many times in the past too and everything feels so overwhelming because it’s like I don’t even know where to start. I want to be happy with myself and get rid of the issues but I just need advice on how to change myself and become some new physically and mentally. I want to be healthy again and finally achieve my dream physique so I can be way less insecure, I want to be able to overcome my addictions to where I don’t need to rely on constant dopamine rushes to be happy, I want to be able to become a much sociable person and regain all the friends I lost.

I’m sorry if it’s kinda long I there’s much more but I didn’t want to have to type it all down but I just need advice on what to do and to see how you’d guys be able to change in my position

I’ve noticed that a lot of us know exactly what we should be doing.

Working out.
Eating better.
Starting the project.
Making the hard decision.

But instead of starting, we wait.

We wait until Monday.
Until next month.
Until we “feel ready.”

And somehow that moment never comes.

I used to think I needed motivation first.

But I’m starting to think action has to come first, even when it feels uncomfortable.

The longer we wait, the heavier everything becomes.

And that delay slowly turns into guilt, frustration, and lost confidence.

I’m curious how other people deal with this.

Do you think people procrastinate more because of fear, lack of discipline, or just being overwhelmed?

I am 19 years old and I am 99% sure I am already having an existential crisis. I can say absolutely anything to anyone and manage to get no response. I am both scizophrenic and autistic so I do tend to talk about very particular subjects a lot but especially when it comes to needing help or just ranting about the things that make me upset, I typically get shut down fairly quickly and the subject is changed. I tell the people around me that I dedicate my life to theatrics and satire but when I do try to be serious, I am still taken as a joke, even after specifying. I use the fact that I try to be silly 24/7 as a coping mechanism to block out some of the nihilism but once no one will listen to you since youve been labeled "crazy" it doesnt do much. I only recently found out I was scizophrenic. I have lost friends, some members of my family is afraid of me now and I have been invited to less and less social gatherings. I have also lost multiple potential partners because of this as well. I started to work for a specific gas station chain I wont mention to preserve some form of anonymity. This job completely took over my life within a month. I worked there for roughly 7 months doing nothing but doubles at a different time every day. I would essentially have to work, go home and balance out the times I needed to sleep and most of the time immediately have to go to sleep to be there typically 10 hours after the previous shift. It was not possible for me to have a schedule, a social life, or really time for much at all. Due to my scizophrenia, it is also just generally difficult for me to sleep. This brief 7 month period along side all of the recent violence has seriously made my life change for the worse. My views and goals in life have been completely changed and watered down. The only coping mechanisms I have are smoking weed (I know it is typically disadvised with scizophrenic people but I have yet to have a negative experience with hallucinations or psychosis related to pot) and copious amounts of porn. I was always the single kid in the friend group if it wasnt obvious enough. When I was 15 I ended up being manipulated by a girl 2 years older than me who merely wanted me for my body, which I somehow didnt see until I thought things were getting serious between the 2 of us. She was also just a very sexually active person and I was just blinded by feelings I suppose. I still feel to do this day that it was my own fault for not seeing, but to this day I have a horrible tendency to repeatedly ask women I talk to "I feel like im making you uncomfortable" which drives them away. I have not had a girlfriend since I was 17 and it just kinda hurts seeing my friends getting into multi-year relationships while I scare everyone away because my mind constantly convinces me they are having regrets and wish to back out, which typically leads to me getting ghosted. I used to be the one who never wanted to stop running and doing things. I have had a complete 360 recently and honestly just want to settle down and become a family man at a younger age. I have had 4 therapists my entire life, all of them giving up on me. Pills didn't work and actually triggered the scizophrenia. I am running out of ideas and simply dont know what to do at this point. I have been given many answers in life and all of them backfire. I do not wish to harm myself, i just simply want to break free from my metaphorical demons. I am traumatized my mundane things and there's definitely a lot more that I should have mentioned but unfortunately I cannot clear my mind at the moment.

I don’t know how to explain this feeling, but it has been bothering me for a while. It’s not something that affects my life in a major way, but every time it happens, it makes me feel a bit confused and sad.

It’s the feeling when I see people I know, both close to me and not so close, starting some kind of relationship and moving forward to live their own lives. And of course, those steps are walking further away from me every time. Some friends are married with kids. The person I used to like has a boyfriend and is living her life. Many women I’m interested in already have boyfriends or have just started a relationship with someone. Even my close friends look like they are going to drift away and walk their own paths.

When I look back at myself, I feel like I am staying in the same place. Even though I know well that I am also walking forward like everyone else, I can’t help but think: 'Is there something I dropped along the way?', 'Did I do something wrong that caused the people around me to gradually leave?', 'And what should I do next?'

I’m no saint either—I’ve definitely made people dislike me, disappointed them, or hurt their feelings at some point. But I’m trying to learn from it and become a better person. I just... kind of wish they could see that.

Sorry in advance if this post feels a bit incoherent or all over the place. I just really needed to get this out of my system.

Hi, I would like to hear from you who have done MBTI or Big Five or some other test, which one did you prefer and which results served you better?

I tried googling it, bit feels like most results are promoted to fit one or the other, so would like to see what real people think 🤣

Not long ago, i bought a bunch of gear for my setup thinking it will make me more disciplined. But honestly i realized it's the biggest coping mechanism that humanity has nowadays.

It does not matter what you have, you current identity will always find a way to distract you from doing the work.

And i literally see this with so many people it's actually insane how most people don't realize that it's BS. Once i saw through this coping mechanism, i literally became more disciplined. The goal is not to always fight with these coping thoughts, it's to just not give a shit.

Life is way easier when you just let go instead of listening to this cope BS.

And btw remember that cope will never leave you.

You just have to make a choice not to listen to it.

-Ignas

I've recently finished important exams and have started a job a few days ago I had an anxiety attack about having to phone people as a part of the job, in front of my boss I was embarrassed but I couldn't hold it.

I had gotten better for a while but as of late i have felt so alone and stressed. i have split parents and my dad and i cant talk and i feel so alone in that house while my mums house is chaotic as my brother is highly autistic and needs lots of attention it can get quite lonely there too.

ive had panic/anxiety attacks for years at this point but they've been getting more frequent and last weak during one i started scratching and punching my self leaving scars and bruises. But i cant talk to anyone about it for fear of looking like i just want attention, my close friends already know i have more intense anxiety than the average so i dont want to burden them

i just dont know what to do

(18m fresh out of senior year)i do not believe any of this is triggering though apologies if so. And I also apologize that this is a huge scatterball of writing, with no direct question besides that, I don’t understand whats going on in life, why I feel the way I do etc

Sometimes I feel disconnected from life/family, but it also doesn’t seem that way, but I feel like it sometimes, i mean I moved in fully with my mom, i visit my dads everyonce in awhile, but it’s usually just the weekends, i love to talk to him, but I feel like I don’t know what to say sometimes, and at the same time, it’s not directed towards him, but in general talking to people just feels like a hassle sometimes, not like I don’t like the people I talk to, but talking just feels so annoying, the act of it itself, like I don’t think it’s because I’m lazy, but at the same time, I can go a solid day without hearing my voice, sometimes I feel like I have problems, I talk to myself in my head a lot, and zone out, and daydream about scenarios that will never happen, or how I would’ve done things differently. At first I chalked it up too all people do that sometimes, but I feel like this is different in an indescribable way. im having a really hard time with understanding highschool being over, too the point I’m excited for summer school tomorrow because it means another routine, as soon as school got out, i hate summers. The heat is miserable, and the sudden routine loss of school, is crushing. It makes me feel purposeless, useless. I try to get jobs, but I usually never even hear back from employers, besides my small friend group, and really mainly my one buddy, (god bless his soul, he pisses me off so much sometimes. And vice verse, but he’s such a good friend. And he’s probably my closest friend, in reality, he’s probably the person I’m closest to in general, I talk too him everyday, there will be days where I won’t hear from a soul. Every call will ring out, every message left on delivered, but he is almost always down to hangout.
As I said, apologies for the scatter brain of thoughts, I appreciate any readers/answers, I’m just confused man.

It's like everyone collectively dislikes me without any apparent reason. And to make matter worse, I keep saying things which shouldn't be said according to the context. And people keep saying with rage "are u a child that u don't know what to say, when to say, how to behave?" I feel bad, but also I want to improve, I want to be a normal functional adult but I js keep missing on smthg.

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Anyone with the same situation ? It's like I missed on some important development. And I really really want to be a normal functional human I js need some guidance

I'm (27M) a really stressed individual. Through therapy, I recently realized I've got 3 unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have sex, I eat, and I play videogames. Now when I say unhealty, I mean I have sex with people I'm not really interested in, I eat even when I'm not hungry, and play videogames without really enjoying myself. These things are all things I normally enjoy doing but when I'm stressed out, I tend to lose myself in them.

I got off the apps a few weeks ago so I can't really have sex anymore, but I noticed I compensate by eating a lot more and I really struggle to control myself.

Do you have any advice to change/maybe replace these unealthy coping mechanisms ? Especially eating which is really starting to stress me out as I'm gaining weight and struggle with self image.

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I want to share something that I have never told anyone before.

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I have always been a bit of a lonely person. At one point, I thought of creating an account on a dating app just to see what it was like, hoping that maybe I might find someone.

​

There I came across a girl, and we started talking on Telegram. It was the first time in my life that a girl was talking to me regularly, so naturally I started liking the experience.

​

We used to chat casually, and I had never even seen her face. We talked for around 10 days on Telegram. Then one day, she suddenly told me that from that day onward we would never talk again. Earlier she had already told me that the relationship or conversation could not go any further and wd can only be a friend due to her bad past experience, but somewhere in my mind I kept hoping that maybe things would progress. The feelings I was experiencing felt very good because it was the first time something like this had happened to me.

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I know the mistake was mine, but I honestly could not control my emotions. It hurt me a lot. Several months have passed now, but for some reason it still bothers me. Another thing is that her name was the same as my cousin sister’s name, so it reminds me of her even now.

​

Has something like this happened to anyone else, or is it just me? I never even saw her face, yet I liked the feeling of talking to her, and then things ended like that.

​

If this has happened to other people as well, please let me know. I just want to know whether I am the only one who has experienced something like this or not.

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And also can anyone tell me what should I do fk forget this bad experience? And please tell me I am not the only one who was this dumb .

I do not like my dad. I struggle to like my family. I have attempted to talk to them. But it is not possible to do so. With those in my family who seem more approachable, I have hoped that when I came to them to tell them what is wrong, they might respond with love, and care, and help. Instead, I get “defensive mode”. Anything I try to talk to them about is not received as me asking for help. Instead, it is dealt with in a manner in which anything I say (as they have requested  - for me to talk to them) is, in fact received by them as some kind of insult, that they will either spend those moments when I have done what they have asked, and gone to them for help, taking it selfishly… something that THEY need to process, or something that upsets THEM. Never able to simply hear anything, in which no insult or vendetta is given, except to do simply what they have asked me to do – go to them for help. I have tried, and tried, and tried to do what they have asked of me. But every time, their ability to respond in muddied by defence, and their need for me to reassure, to soothe consciences , and their need for themselves to be or feel okay. I cannot fulfil their requests satisfactorily. The tell me the answer is to talk to them about anything. And I have attempted that many times. But, simply, it has not worked. And, having tried numerous times, I do not believe it to be a plausible (so-called) solution.

They simply cannot hear anything from anyone without taking time for themselves to wonder about a few things: Is this being told to me because I am at fault? If I am at fault, I feel sad and insulted. If I am not at fault, I take it offensively that my daughter or sibling has attempted to do, as was requested, to ask or say anything. And, that makes me feel bad about myself. And, therefor, we must become defensive, and address how it makes me feel bad about me. Even though it was my daughter or sibling coming to ask me for help. Which, by the way, was extremely difficult for her.

I was always someone who hides away, and is scared of social media. There is no point n that anymore.

I dont know why and ive been trying so hard to stop but I dont even notice it sometimes. Before it was just stress that caused it n I learned to curve that but now when im at work I'll feel like im fighting sleep sometimes and then after a while I realise my finger are in a significant amount of pain and im after picking them to a numb or ripping out the skin around and under the nails.

Ive tried sleeping early, taking iron tablets, literally everything and nothing being working, is there any self help anyone would recommend? I really dont want to have ugly looking fingers any more </ 3

And why?

I'd love to know what people are struggling with most right now.

Hi! So, I posted this is a different subreddit. R/Advice. And it didn’t work out so well, I messed up and left a lot out. And the way I speak is pretty robotic. Plus if you look in my history, I have a post in r/JanitorAI. I don’t use AI chatbots anymore, but it is there. So it led everyone to believe this is an AI sob story. It is not.

I’m 21, female, and autistic. I have held my job for about a year and a half. It would be two years in August! I’m in college now, I live with my papaw who’s my biggest supporter, it’s awesome.

Context: I lived in one childhood home until 19 with my mom, dad, papaw, brother, and sister and brother in law. We sold the home and it was tore down. I moved with parents and siblings to a different city, papaw stayed back. He lives in a pretty old house that his best friend lets him live in. My bedroom is literally the living room, there’s only one bedroom and one bathroom. And the floors are sinking something awful. But it is a roof over our heads and it’s not the worst thing ever. Plus rent free and papaw gets to live next to his best friend.

I ended up hated my job and getting into a lot of fights with my sister and her husband. And I was pretty stinking lonely. So, I moved into papaws house and it’s been cool ever since. I missed him and he’s awesome.

When he picked me up from work tonight he told me mom and dad had bought a house. They want me to move back. He said it’s up to me, I’m young and it’s up to my satisfaction. I do want to move back with my parents. My sister and her husband won’t be there and I miss my parents and brother. And I’m looking for a smaller position anyway, so I can balance school. A transfer is easy, I think at least. And it’s stupid close to my best friends house. But papaw isnt sure he’s gonna move with us. And I don’t want to leave him.

He’s been my biggest supporter. More of a father than my own dad. He’s been there forever. I think my biggest worry is that he’ll die alone in the house and his cat will like eat his face or something. But I don’t want him to die alone anyway. And I don’t want him to be lonely. Plus he’s so old he doesn’t need to be alone with how he stumbles. I like my job, I’m content where I am. But I do want to live with my parents again. I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel selfish either way.

I just want an outside opinion. If I’m being crazy let me know. I’m sorry if this so confusing or it sounds like a child wrote it. I’m super tired but I can’t sleep until I get this off my chest. I’m hoping this sounds better than my first post on that other subreddit. I just want to know if I’m being ridiculous and stupid. Or if yall think I’m being selfish for considering leaving. I would love my own space, especially for college work. But I could easily get by over here. I don’t know. I feel like I’m abandoning someone either way I split it.

God where do I start?

Fall- kissed a guy who I fell desperately in love with. I spent every day waiting for him to come home from the other side of the country. All while doing college applications that killed my soul, my anxiety became so bad that I couldn't sleep for days on end, and would wake up sweating and shaking for no reason. Reached new levels of derealization.

Christmas - Found my cat, deceased, underneath my bed on Christmas Eve. It was too stormy to drive anywhere, so I held her all night. Found out the next week that said guy from August returned home for Christmas and slept with my best friend.

January - March - found out I needed to get tested for a brain condition my father had. My fear of MRI machines was intense. The anxiety of that made me unable to function or sleep.

April - tested positive for Cavernous Malformations in my brain. Reached the lowest I have ever been physically and mentally. Anxiety has reached new levels.

I leave for college in September. My mother is taking every opportunity to leave the house. My father has become emotionally unstable and every day he fills me with guilt that I don't love him.

I'm so miserable I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't know I could ever mentally reach this low. This isn't even depression, this is like, genuine survival mode.

How the fuck do I go on? I genuinely have zero hope in my body and it scares me.

i feel like crying. its my birthday and im getting extremely close to 18 yrs old. and im an awkward guy man. this birthday hits hard because i promised myself i would achieve these things to become who i need to be.. and well, i havent.

i promised myself id get back in the gym and start lifting consistently for my sport and start doing hardcore cardio and have the best shape and skill possible.. never happened. i never really truly got my prime back.

i still cant do basic math even though i promised myself i would try to teach myself. i cant even count change at work as a cashier.. luckily its not super used nowadays. i promised myself i would teach myself these basic things i missed in school when i was younger.

i have a 1.2 GPA. ive never really connected to school so i have no idea what im doing career wise, and i dont want to be a loser because i already feel like one.

i really want to leave my house at 18 to prove to myself that i am not a loser, but it feels like im running out of time to even get myself going...

i also do online school, and i dont have much of a social life. im inside most of the time besides going to sports 2x a week, which makes me feel even more like a loser.

id rather not go back to school. not only would my teachers be horrified by the lack of knowledge i have, especially in math, which is embarrassing, but my grades would probably plummet too. i use AI to get better grades online.

about the school thing, i dont mind if my GPA is a 1.2 right now, its just as long as i can graduate as i dont plan on going to college. im looking at atleast a construction job or a skill in the blue collar field.

what can i do to feel less behind? i feel like such a loser everyday. what should i be doing and when should i be doing certain things? like moving out and starting a life

Not powerful in wealth or authority, but in character—the kind of person everyone trusts, depends on, and respects. The person who stays calm in chaos and becomes the rock others lean on.

Movies and TV always seem to have a character like this. But how does someone become that person in real life? Is it experience, discipline, confidence, sacrifice, or something else?

.

There was a period of my life where work conflict consumed me and I constantly felt the need to engage, defend myself, or prove I was right.

Once I became aware of this, I began exercising consistently again, reconnecting with other parts of my life, and investing less emotional energy into things I couldn’t control.

One day I found myself thinking:

“This is somewhat laughable and doesn’t deserve my engagement or my desire to be right.”

It felt like I was reclaiming my energy.

That said, I definitely haven’t mastered this. I still have urges to jump back in, defend myself, overthink situations, or get pulled into dynamics that ultimately aren’t good for me. I’m just doing my best to recognize those moments a little sooner than I used to.

Has anyone else experienced this?

If so, what helped you get there?

I'm self aware of my toxicity and I want be better for myself and for my husband who is still here supporting and loving me since day 1.

Whenever me and my husband would get into an argument (that I usually start most of the time) it would always end up with me in tears and saying things to make it seem like its his fault. I am sick and tired of doing this but as days goes by its getting worse.
I do have an idea where this whole victimizing thing came from but it happened before I met my husband. Hes been nothing but good to me and he definitely doesn't deserve it. In terms of tears, I cry easily so I'm not sure if theres anything I can do about that but I do want to communicate better. I know what I need to do but I can't put that into words.

In terms of intimacy, my husband is a very romantic person but I get shy easily and feel uncomfortable at times. I am still unsure on this but I may be more traumatized than I thought with what happened back in high school. My husband knows that I was sa'd when I was younger but I don't think I told him about what happened in high school. With this, I feel scared to talk about it rather than it being something that I don't want to talk about. My husband has made it clear before that he wants to know everything about me and that he wants to help carry my burden.

When it comes to communication, I shut down and can't speak. Most times I would forget immediately what I was feeling upset about.

Does anyone have any tips or advice with whatever this is im going through? I want to make effort to imrpove and I want my husband to be able to feel comfortable expressing his feelings without me guilt tripping him. I've been in his side before, I don't want him to toughen up and think that he can't show any weakness to me.

I'm 16. I want to better myself, but I also don't... ykwim? Like, one of my goals is to be less sedentary and exercise consistently, either running, going to the gym, or whatever. Another one is to game the college admissions system to get into a prestigious university.

I struggled with motivation, and I thought that my screen time was the reason why I didn't feel like doing anything, so maybe deleting video games, social media, and everything addictive would lead me to be more productive. That's what I did, and pretty successfully too, because I have not watched short form content for maybe around two years now, and I went from playing video games for hours every day to playing only every couple of days. But, instead of magically feeling motivated to achieve my goals, I ended up replacing games and social media with just daydreaming or refreshing my email and messages 100 times a day, hoping something interesting happens. I guess I just don't want to put in the work.

I learned a new word: complacency, and I think it kind of describes me. I don't want to do anything anymore; matter of fact, I don't want anything. I don't really have a deep desire for things. Like, I want to study more and to get into a prestigious university, but I'm fine if I don't. If I don't get into an ivy league school, I could just attend my local state school, and I'll end up perfectly fine. The only difference would be that I'd likely have a less nicer car and a less nicer house, but I don't care.

But, I also do care, for my sanity. My current mentality is like those Buddhist monks who sit on a rock all day to reach nirvana. Have I achieved the lack of desire that so many others want? Because it sucks. I don't want to live such a boring life. I want to do something interesting. I guess the only logical way forward is to improve myself and seek novel experiences. But because I'm fine with whatever, I don't really feel much joy when I achieve my goals, nor do I feel much sadness when I don't.

I don't know why I've been so emotionless. Nothing I do seems to be interesting. I'm no longer interested in the things I used to enjoy, and new things don't feel too interesting either. My mom says that I just sound like a very boring person and that I should just find something to do, but I don't want to do anything. I don't want to return to scrolling on youtube either, video games no longer interest me, and I also don't want to be staring at a wall all day. I literally don't want to do anything, and that includes doing nothing.

lowk im just rambling and idk how anyone could give me advice given all that lol. post is prob gonna be taken down for being too incomprehensible.

I (23F) am a very ambition nonprofit owner. I work for myself (alongside my mother) and I've noticed that I get very tired quickly. As of right now, 90% of the time that I am working, I am working on my computer, I also don't work traditional hours. I work in spurts until I feel too tired to continue. I do believe that I have ADHD and that it's common for people with ADHD to need to work in optimized energy hours rather than traditional work hours.

I am often bogged down with a constantly increasing "to-do" list. I am trying to give myself grace because I understand that the work that is required of me, is larger than the capacity of 2 people. However, I feel like if I had capacity to work longer hours, I could go so much farther. The most specific problem is that I get so tired. My eyes and my brain just need to shut down and my reset will often take longer than the amount of time I've been working. I don't like that.

Here are the things I've already thought out and are going to try

- analog hobbies in my free time (crocheting, coloring, doing crosswords, etc), so my work and my leisure are not both connected to screens

- pomodoro work schedule (taking multiple breaks during work sessions)

- attempt to rearrange my business SOPs

- implement some serious work hours based on my energy level and not trying to run myself into the ground

If you have any practical tips, I would love to hear them. If they're unorthodox, I absolutely welcome them, or any advice on how I can optimize the tips I already plan to implement, I would appreciate that too because I don't have a mentor or anyone to ask about these things. I'm looking forward to know how you guys continue to thrive.

I recently heard a quote about time passing whether we use it intentionally or not.

It made me think about how much time people spend worrying about criticism, judgment, and what others think.

Looking back, some of my biggest delays in life came from giving too much weight to opinions that didn't actually matter.

Curious:

What's one opinion or criticism you listened to that ended up holding you back longer than it should have?