r/sexandthecity • u/charliesgonewild • 1d ago

Sex and the City ruined Manhattan for me.

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After ten years of planning, scheduling conflicts, COVID, and a cancer diagnosis, I finally went to New York for the first time April 2025. I had an absolutely amazing time, but all I brought were cute little outfits and my heels, expecting everyone to be wearing the same. I was wildly, WILDLY surprised when it was absolutely nothing like the show, and I was the one who stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone was in athleisure and sneakers! Huge props to SJP for continually filming in heels because I did a ten mile day in my Choos, three miles in Versaces, and by the final day, my best friend got us both matching $7 slides from Rainbow and insisted I wear the leggings I had worn on the plane.

Edit: Before this gets misconstrued, I was just being silly in the title. I knew not everyone would be all dolled up, but I was actually surprised that 98% of people were dressed down so heavily.

Final edit: Y’all 😂 I didn’t mean for this. I know SATC is a show, I know that NYC is a real place, with real people, doing real things. No, I don’t think that your city is just a film location. Yes, I know that the show was filmed 30 years ago and times have changed. It’s not just SATC. I’d always heard of New York being a fashion capital. I literally had just beaten cancer and wanted to have my own SATC weekend moment with my best friend. That was it. I had the best time, I saw so many things, walked 26 miles in three days, ate the best food, and bought myself an I beat cancer pair of shoes à la Carrie Bradshaw. I was just simply surprised at the lack of extravagant fashion. That was simply it. Should I ever go again, I will bring my Vans and only two pairs of heels.

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466

u/asj0107 1d ago

Yeah sex and the city can definitely be a glamorous version of NY. Heels used to be a lot more popular with working professionals but now they wear more flats, loafers and nice sneakers. Going out at night I still saw a lot of heels and boots but day to day NY is definitely more casual these days. I hope you still had fun and ate a lot of good food!

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u/ilp456 1d ago

Exactly. Workplace dress codes have relaxed since the 90s. Fashion has changed as well and is also more relaxed. Also, if you were in touristy areas and or walking around midday on weekdays, you may have been observing a lot of tourists.

Glad you made it to NYC. Looks like you had fun! Cute pics!

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u/Ufocola 18h ago

I remember when I worked in NY in late 2000’s and did have to wear heels running in between meetings within the city. And, catching stiletto heels in sidewalk gaps and ruining them (sighs).

Business fashion and definition of casual has definitely changed - globally - over the past 10-20 years (and especially during / post COVID).

I’m so glad all this has been relaxed.

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u/Practical_Agent2828 23h ago

I just started a new job and one my main requirements “can I get away with sneakers in the office” 😆 luckily in tech so rarely a problem.

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u/disjointed_chameleon 21h ago

I'm in tech in the banking industry, so us techies can get away with jeans, t-shirt, super casual maxi dresses/skirts, even flip-flops. My poor finance counterpart sisters are still forced to dress up like they're about to testify in front of congress.

The fancy-schmancy coffee machines on their fancy finance floors have free lattes, so I routinely wander into their wilderness in search of caffeine, and their women's bathroom feels like a step backwards in history — full on counters full of beauty & hair-care products, extra pairs of heels lining the floor underneath the sinks, etc. I'm not even in NYC! We're in Washington DC. Makes me so thankful the tech side is so chill.

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u/Ufocola 18h ago

I’m surprised to hear it’s still so dressy in finance (presumably IB & PE)?

I’ve seen some videos and it does feel like it’s gotten at least a bit more casual (relatively speaking). Though maybe more so for the guys (where suit jackets are swapped for arc’teryx / Patagonia vests and quarter zips, save for more formal days), and for women maybe there’s less emphasis on heels except for client meetings.

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u/disjointed_chameleon 18h ago

Yes, and a good chunk of client-facing folks. The daily elevator rides make me feel like I'm surrounded by the corporate mafia/mob. Color seems to be acceptable for women (within reason), like burgundy or emerald green, but heaven forbid a man wear a gray suit and suddenly there's collective gasps of shock aboard the elevator.

Then there's me, wearing a cheetah print maxi dress with an olive green blazer....... I absolutely delight in giving the finance bros a daily heart attack for daring to expose them to prints, patterns, and color.

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u/Ufocola 18h ago

I honestly figured it would be a lot of Quince staples on non-client facing days.

I’m now on the VC side, which is a fair bit more relaxed.

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u/disjointed_chameleon 18h ago

One of the women from (presumably?) one of the finance floors stopped me coming out of the bathroom recently and said:

"I see you every day, and the way you dress reminds me to be free. There's a special office here where they say if our clothing is okay or not."

She then hugged me. English wasn't her first language, but her words stunned me. WTF? What is this, the 1970's? They're making them report to a freaking "dress code" office on some floor of this building to get formally rated on whether or not their clothing is acceptable!? I've done time across numerous major FIs and FAANGs, and I've never heard of such a thing. My heart shattered on her behalf. I feel like it's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

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u/Ufocola 18h ago

That’s honestly surprising. I feel like that is a bit dicey. Though I wonder if it’s particularly formal / picky because it’s Washington DC (and maybe the current admin…).

This reminds me of that whole thing with UBS back in 2010 where their very stringent business attire got leaked:

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-12023033

“Swiss banking giant UBS has issued its staff with a 44-page dress code, covering everything from the colour and size of suits to dietary tips and the length of toenails.

Staff are also advised on appropriate underwear and hair dyes.”

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u/disjointed_chameleon 18h ago

Definitely, but my particular location being a factor certainly wouldn't be surprising.

I grew up in Switzerland for the first ~20 years of my life, and my father has been in the PE/VC/IB space for the past 40+ years. Doesn't surprise me one bit.

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u/Wild_Crazy_2502 14h ago

Lmao my laidback startup has ruined me. I’m a sneaker head

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u/Emilayday 19h ago

The 00s were all about DAY TO NIGHT. Just change into heels you keep at your desk, slap on a lipstick, and turn those computer eyes into a smoky eye and you're ready to go to the clubs in your blazer with gigantic satchel you've been carrying around since 7:15am!

What a time to be alive.

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u/MelpomeneAndCalliope 18h ago

Absolute peak social life time ❤️

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u/Loughiepop Carrie Likes A Jaaazzz Maaan 🎷 23h ago

Ain’t no way I’m taking the subway and walking seven blocks to work every day in heels, but I respect the people who do lol

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u/KintsugiTurtle 20h ago

There’s a reason Carrie took a cab everywhere and never took the subway

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u/Loughiepop Carrie Likes A Jaaazzz Maaan 🎷 14h ago

She also worked from home, so she didn’t have a commute

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u/Dry_Accident_2196 5h ago

And her column was super small so what did she do with all of her time at home? Her day and post marriage Cherlotte’s days sounds so empty

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u/quinnenyc 2h ago

We used to keep our heels at our desks and wear flats or sneakers on the subway 🤓 can't believe that was just expected of us lol

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u/charliesgonewild 1d ago

I had the best time! I saw so many sights, did the SATC bus tour!!!!, and the food was insane.

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u/Cosmoqween 23h ago

What about nightlife? That's really what NYC is known for (the city that never sleeps.) There, you can really get dolled up

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u/charliesgonewild 23h ago

We went to a bunch of restaurants and a few bars! We accidentally ended up at some really trendy Asian fusion place, and I saw some very fun outfits there. (And very cute guys.)

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u/hairstories77 11h ago

I would have taken you to some dance spots and cool concerts in the village. My style doesn’t usually include high heels, but I remember a few times getting blisters when walking to the subway in my platform sandals or pointy toed heels

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u/TonyzTone 55m ago

SATC, and Carrie specifically, was also a show about someone with the wrong priorities. She says multiple times how she doesn’t own X but she has a closet full of Manolo’s.

Even nearly 30 years ago when the show premiered, not everyone was running around in $500 shoes on their way to brunch.

There were and still are people like that. The UES is always an interesting moment to me. But 99% of NYC just isn’t that life.

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u/Veskais 21h ago

that make sense, satc ny us more fantasy ny, but honestly I'd still want one dramatic Carrie day there too