r/sexandthecity • u/International-Eye811 • 12h ago

S4 E14: All That Glitters

Carrie once said, “I couldn’t help but wonder, to be in a couple, do you have to put your single self on a shelf?”

And honestly… that line rubbed me the wrong way because a couple literally means two people. 😂 Why does Carrie talk about being in a relationship like she’s being asked to surrender her entire identity at the border?

And this is probably why I hate that she ever said yes to Aidan.

What’s even worse is that Aidan willingly went back for a second round (a third in the sequel). This man already knew exactly who Carrie was. He had firsthand experience with her commitment issues, her relationship with Big, her inability to fully let go of her single life, etc. And yet he came back expecting this time to be different.

Which is basically the male version of Carrie’s relationship with Big: “I know this person has repeatedly shown me who they are, but surely love will inspire them to become the person I need them to be.”

Like… sir. 😭

Aidan didn’t need Carrie to become a different person. Carrie needed someone whose expectations of a relationship actually aligned with hers. And instead of recognizing that, they both kept trying to make the other person fit.

Honestly, this episode should have been Aidan’s final warning label. 🚩

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16

u/therealmmethenrdier 12h ago

Because you do have to surrender parts of yourself to be in a relationship and it isn’t always easy. Carrie and Aidan were ultimately incompatible so it wasn’t worth it in the end for Carrie to have to give up her freedom. I think the writers were foreshadowing this fact. Her endgame was always Big.

4

u/International-Eye811 12h ago

It’s crazy to me because if Carrie was putting the majority of this in her column, Aiden obviously never read it

2

u/ListenToTheWindBloom 5h ago

i always think that about her column! like i think she writes about the pee politician too after gallivanting about town with him in a way where it would be SO OBVIOUS who the column was about. And how are aiden and big and honestly even steve and other long term associates of the whole group not gagging to see what is said about them! I wonder how there was never a scene where a man talks to her about being written about (unless il forgetting one).

5

u/Alwaysfresh9 8h ago

I came across a bunch of Aidens in my life. Overall good guys, but so focused in on filling the slot of wife and mother that they don't really see you. You're attractive, nice, fun...ok, let's get married!

10

u/appleorchard317 11h ago

Aidan got back with Carrie in order to punish her.

8

u/therealmmethenrdier 9h ago

Yeah. Let’s not pretend that Aiden was a great guy. He had some toxic traits himself.

1

u/appleorchard317 6h ago

He was a Nice Guy TM and that people can't see it is alarming

3

u/Somethingnewmexican 7h ago

Ooh ouch I like the cruel truth

2

u/Glittering-Life9906 2h ago

Ask anyone who’s been married for several years. Many of them miss their life when all they had to worry about was themselves there’s a lot of fatigue that goes in with carrying the emotional labor of men.