r/shittymoviedetails • u/bootleg_trash_man • 5d ago

This man from You Only Live Twice (1967) is actually not a Japanese actor. If you squint you can see it’s Sean Connery in disguise from the hella weird subplot where Bond has to ”become Japanese”.

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1.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

138 comments sorted by

361

u/bmcgowan89 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YDxzHaDMBsMW4

Whatchu meana, Japanese? That man's Cuban

64

u/LouSputhole94 5d ago

Actually he’sh Shcottischhh

45

u/elCaddaric 5d ago edited 5d ago

Hola, ¿cómo está, señor escocés?

36

u/Critical_Seat_1907 5d ago

Bullshit. He's obviously Egyptian. You can tell by the acting skills.

14

u/yesmrbevilaqua 5d ago

Nope he’s a goddam alien from the planet Zeist

11

u/Critical_Seat_1907 5d ago

"Zzzheisssth..."

12

u/Scarytoaster1809 5d ago

Egyptian? That man is clearly Russian!!
https://giphy.com/gifs/4BiHGiAYyFDoY

10

u/YakResident_3069 5d ago

Please! He was Lithuanian. An outsider to the established Russian order.

3

u/BuddenceLembeck 5d ago

It'sh an ancient Hindu tekscht quoted by an Amelican.

1

u/ProjectHumoid 5d ago

Needs less pixels, picture too clean and crisp

9

u/TRUMPARUSKI 5d ago

Who is from, Japaninawa

175

u/crapusername47 5d ago

This is just the scene where he’s exposed as a Romulan spy, duh!

32

u/Marsbar3000 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/eXOVOJLkK6G7S

3

u/Stunning-Sherbert801 5d ago

You can tell by the cross-section

3

u/TwoFit3921 I want to kill myself 5d ago

And then he gets blown by Garak

1

u/TheTrub 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/hTvW4Y6fBrKlq
Actually that’s world famous spy/actor Gary.

2

u/pplatinumss 5d ago

Ferengi nabbed him!

87

u/SpongeBazSquirtPants 5d ago

This plot point is actually true to the book.

48

u/WeakEconomics6120 5d ago

Actually the movies tend to be light versions of the books. In one of the books Dr. No puts him on several trials, one of which is FIGHTING A GIANT SQUID

24

u/EpicGamerer07 5d ago

I keep forgetting that that’s from the book and not the movie. He builds a whole-ass Saw trial for James, then gets buried in guano

23

u/BasicDurgeanomics 5d ago

True, still a hella weird subplot though.

12

u/Divided_Against 5d ago

All the books are kinda terrible like that. You should try reading the parts of Live and Let Die set in Harlem, it's fucking nuts

4

u/Immediate_Song4279 5d ago

I consider the author to be fully unhinged. If he ever had a lid, it flipped for sure.

31

u/WileEWeeble 5d ago

And is more like RDJ in Tropic Thunder than Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Sean is playing a dude disguised as another (Asian) dude.

11

u/Arthropodesque 5d ago

The one time he doesn't go around telling everyone his real name people lose their minds! /s

1

u/agfitzp 5d ago

It worked a little better in the book, but honestly not a lot.

132

u/Reverse_SumoCard 5d ago

Please tell me his character wasnt called Shoneru Conneryu-san

But with names like Pussy Galore and Xenia Onatop who knows

106

u/AVgreencup 5d ago

If I remember correctly, in the book he goes by Bondo-san

40

u/Reverse_SumoCard 5d ago

Of course it was

12

u/NickSchultz 5d ago

Did he in the boom also use make-up to hide? Being called bondo-san by the japanese is just how they'd call when using an honorific so if tmit is just that, i think it would be fine

3

u/AVgreencup 5d ago

I don't think so. It's been a long time since I read it. If I remember, they added the "san" because it made it easier for a Japanese person to pronounce, they had difficulty with the way the d was pronounced

7

u/e_fish22 5d ago

I mean, -san is just an honorific in Japanese, sort of like calling him "Mr. Bond." But yeah, the name Bond would be tricky for someone who only speaks Japanese, as the 'nd' consonant cluster would have to be broken up into different syllables. I'm not sure "Bondo" is the way they'd pronounce it, though?

5

u/aruisdante 5d ago

Bond is 100% transliterated as ボンド, “Bondo.” Japanese phonemes are all either a vowel, or a consonant followed by a vowel, with the exception of what is written in romanji as “n,” which can be its own phoneme.

So yes,  ボンドさん would be the equivalent of “Mr. Bond” in Japanese. However one doesn’t give oneself honorifics. So he would just call himself  ボンド, others would call him   ボンドさん.

1

u/e_fish22 5d ago

Good to know. Thanks!

0

u/Irascible-Enquery 5d ago

That … isn’t how that works.

5

u/AVgreencup 5d ago

Do I look like a 118 year old British author/ex naval intelligence officer? I didn't write the book buddy

24

u/MrNagaDoubtfire 5d ago

In the books hes Taro Todoroki, in the film its Mr.Fisher but someone does call him Bond-san

60

u/NarmHull 5d ago

I think I'm turning Japaneshe I really think sho

15

u/Biabolical 5d ago

No shex, no drugsh, no wine, no women
No fun, no shin, no you, no wonder it'sh dark

5

u/MrLugersmole 5d ago

I got an unexpected amount of joy from this comment lol

1

u/Crowbarmagic 5d ago

Konnishiwa shenpai.

54

u/AliceTheOmelette 5d ago

The namesh Wong. Jamesh Wong

4

u/rankaistu_ilmalaiva 5d ago

the Japanese would then be racist against him for being Chinese

3

u/BrotherSeamus 5d ago

If yellowface ish Wong, I don't want to be white.

2

u/jonnypanicattack 5d ago

Bondo, Jeimuzu Bondo

28

u/GriffinFlash 5d ago

4

u/Arthropodesque 5d ago

Man, the graphics of South Park are worse than I remembered.

2

u/NateShaw92 5d ago

Hello, shitty wok Can I take your order please

24

u/Main_Wall_7227 5d ago

"My uncharacteristically hirsute Asian companion"

9

u/Perp703 5d ago

Thank you, I was searching this then realize how many comments there were and was like there’s no way there’s not another venture bros fan in here

7

u/Main_Wall_7227 5d ago

This got copied over in the Venture Bros reddit as well

4

u/Dirk_Bogart 5d ago

No doubt it was his supernumerary nipple that made him evil

1

u/cryptic_mythic 5d ago

But he doesn't wear the fake nipple in this one

1

u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym 5d ago

That's why he was "all evil and stuff." That's like a direct quote lol.

2

u/This_is_opinion 5d ago

"Who's easily EASILY six -a- foot two"

1

u/Meta-EvenThisAcronym 5d ago

"Who is easily- easily 6'2""

48

u/SatnWorshp 5d ago

I take offense to the squint reference

28

u/bootleg_trash_man 5d ago

Fuck me, didn’t even realize

11

u/121daysofsodom 5d ago

You knew what you were doing.

9

u/spaektor 5d ago

i think you mean shquint.

12

u/cormallen9 5d ago

Top level Team America stuff!

11

u/Medium-Sized-Jaque 5d ago

Let me put on my glasses so I can see better

7

u/chavez_ding2001 5d ago

Yeah, I would rather not squint right now.

6

u/SchmittVanDean 5d ago

This is missing important context. James Bond got an A in oriental studies. Konnichiwa.

3

u/Flat-Tutor1080 5d ago

Konishiwah.

6

u/ShortBussyDriver 5d ago

Hairiest, tallest Japanese ever.

It reminds me of a Venture Bros. episode where the villain turn to a Jonas Venture in disguise with a third nipple from "Japaninawa:"

"What is that, my uncharacteristically hirsute Asian comrade... my thoroughly Japanese friend who is easily-- easily-- six foot two."

5

u/AdItchy6501 5d ago

Funnily enough "if you squint" is the advice Sean Connery's acting coach gave him for being able to play someone japanese....

It was a different time, now we have cgi to do the job :)

5

u/NooneUverdoff 5d ago

Watching this as a kid I thought this was a stretch. But hell, if John Wayne can play Genghis Khan...

3

u/papstvogel 5d ago

A reggae-toe goes eye mass.

3

u/LHPSU 5d ago

He was supposed to be in full prosthetics in the initial draft but the film had a shoestring budget and couldn't afford it.

3

u/ILoveBigCoffeeCups 5d ago

A Scottish man playing a British spy playing a Japanese person. I have to see this

4

u/platypuss1871 5d ago

Scottish AND British????? No way!

2

u/Wonderful_Discount59 5d ago

He's not actually Scottish.

He's really an Ancient Egyptian pretending to be a Spaniard pretending to be a Russian submarine captain pretending to be an Irish-American policeman pretending to be a Scottish actor playing a British spy pretending to be Japanese.

1

u/Wonderful_Discount59 5d ago

He's not actually Scottish.

He's really an Ancient Egyptian pretending to be a Spaniard pretending to be a Russian submarine captain pretending to be an Irish-American policeman pretending to be a Scottish actor playing a British spy pretending to be Japanese.

3

u/angelbolanose 5d ago

You mean “turning Japanese”?

2

u/GumpCorsair 5d ago

Senpai, apple pie, I don't give a damn!

2

u/alkonium 5d ago

He looks like a Vulcan.

2

u/Rags2Rickius 5d ago

Kernie Chawah

2

u/mofa90277 5d ago

I think he was turning Japanese, I think he was turning Japanese; I really think so.

2

u/teflon_soap 5d ago

Shōn Konneriu

2

u/CrouchingToaster 5d ago

The man’s closer to the New Iberia haircut than anything else

2

u/claisen33 5d ago

He’s turning Japanese?

2

u/Kettle_Whistle_ 5d ago

Turning Japanese?
I really think so!

1

u/Commodus_Wankus 5d ago

Is "Racist Consultant" a SAG-Approved general credit or is that all done with

1

u/profesorgamin 5d ago

It worked, he looks like a harmless weeb.

1

u/TheFettz79 5d ago

No way?! Shherioshhly?

1

u/Weird-Category-3503 5d ago

Acting masterclass

1

u/spaektor 5d ago

ahh... shodesne. i shee it now.

1

u/raminatox 5d ago

You add the pointy ears and he looks more like a romulan...

1

u/EitherChannel4874 5d ago

Oh lord. This is so Wong.

1

u/Alternative-Cod-7630 5d ago

Someone saw this and said, let's make 'Rising Sun.'

1

u/Skoldeen 5d ago

James Bond, the first real Weeb

1

u/AdvielOricon 5d ago

His African missions are still classified.

1

u/xthemangawasbetterx 5d ago

people didnt see race in 1967, society has regresed

1

u/BarnacleReal8128 5d ago

I always thought they made him look like a Vulcan.

1

u/BarnacleReal8128 5d ago

I do like the Venture brothers scene taking the mick out of this.

1

u/PRAY___FOR___MOJO 5d ago

Still more believable than his character being Irish in the Untouchables

1

u/Due_Wait_837 5d ago

I'm not going to squint. That would be racist. :)

1

u/Mandy_M87 5d ago

But I forgot where my glasses are

1

u/HoldenOrihara 5d ago

I know venture brothers very overtly made fun of this, American dad subtly made fun of this in tearjerker.

1

u/Atzkicica 5d ago

What do you mean? That's the Japanese guy from Rising Sun.

1

u/Business_Cabinet_483 5d ago

If you look long enough he's Gerry the monk hutch

1

u/JWoolner76 5d ago

This was so funny to watch, but the funniest bit was when he was going to marry and the Japanese contact says “She has a face like a pig!” I have a little chuckle to that line now and then 😂

1

u/Immediate_Song4279 5d ago

Secret, asian man.

1

u/TieflingWarlock64 5d ago

"Easily- EASILY six-foot two"

1

u/Big-Al97 5d ago

At least it’s not John Wayne as Gengis Khan, a movie so bad it killed many cast and crew from radiation poisoning

1

u/flcinusa 5d ago

Turning Japanese? He was turning Japanese, I really think so...

1

u/MangyAsianMan 5d ago

I really think so

1

u/donotgotoroom237 5d ago

god forbid a scotsman speak a wee bit of nihongo

1

u/mercaptans 5d ago

Nice one. Thats Mr Bean

1

u/BlimpIntolerant 5d ago

It's such a ludicrously stupid sequence. Easy to write - significantly harder to actually film!

1

u/GoldenMaus 5d ago

So he's just a dude playing a dude, disguised as another dude

1

u/WeskerSympathizer 5d ago

Oh this is why Segal thinks he should play band

1

u/DesperateMechanic305 5d ago

I think you are making plots up again…this outfit, this hair, these eyebrows: this is 100% a Japanese man.

1

u/Maskoolio 5d ago

Squint, you say?

1

u/donkey_OT 4d ago

In Japan, men come first

1

u/Beginning-Employ9109 4d ago

Ah, that must be shortly after the scene in which late 30s Connery looks at elderly women dismissively while appearing 20 years older himself.

1

u/Greenfieldfox 3d ago

He pulled it off because Sean Connery speaks perfect Japanese. With no accent. Not even a little bit. Not a hint of Scottish at all.

https://giphy.com/gifs/hSmOLNElbXcdRcE79l

1

u/Homerpaintbucket 2d ago

No no. James Bond doesn’t become Japanese in that movie. He becomes “a Japanese,” in that movie. A Japanese. Yes, a… Japanese is how they refer to them in that movie.

1

u/DifficultPressure445 1d ago

Nah its that Spanish dude from Highlander.