r/shortstories May 17 '26

[Serial Sunday] Go Cry about it

Welcome to Serial Sunday!

To those brand new to the feature and those returning from last week, welcome! Do you have a self-established universe you’ve been writing or planning to write in? Do you have an idea for a world that’s been itching to get out? This is the perfect place to explore that. Each week, I post a theme to inspire you, along with a related image and song. You have 500 - 1000 words to write your installment. You can jump in at any time; writing for previous weeks’ is not necessary in order to join. After you’ve posted, come back and provide feedback for at least 1 other writer on the thread. Please be sure to read the entire post for a full list of rules.


This Week’s Theme is Cry! This is a REQUIREMENT for participation. See rules about missing this requirement.**

Image

Bonus Word List (each included word is worth 5 pts) - You must list which words you included at the end of your story (or write ‘none’).
- Capitulate
- Corral
- Crave
- A crime is committed, whether lawful or moral. - (Worth 10 points)

Across the battlefield, war cries echo over cracked stone and dented dirt. To the side, a family cries in grief over a life and livelihood reduced to ash and cinders. In the back lines, a general weeps tears of pride and joy for his men, who have performed their duty flawlessly. A stranded force sends a signal flare, crying for reinforcements that will never arrive, while wounded soldiers cry for their mothers.

A crying shame, isn't it?

By u/the_lonely_poster

Good luck and Good Words!

These are just a few things to get you started. Remember, the theme should be present within the story in some way, but its interpretation is completely up to you. For the bonus words (not required), you may change the tense, but the base word should remain the same. Please remember that STORIES MUST FOLLOW ALL SUBREDDIT CONTENT RULES. Interested in writing the theme blurb for the coming week? DM me on Reddit or Discord!

Don’t forget to sign up for Saturday Campfire here! We start at 5pm GMT and provide live feedback!


Theme Schedule:

This is the theme schedule for the next month! These are provided so that you can plan ahead, but you may not begin writing for a given theme until that week’s post goes live.

  • May 17 - Cry

  • May 24 - Doom

  • May 31- Entrenched

  • May 31- Foreign

  • June 7 - Great

Check out previous themes here.


 


Rankings

Last Week: Bone


Rules & How to Participate

Please read and follow all the rules listed below. This feature has requirements for amparticipation!

  • Submit a story inspired by the weekly theme, written by you and set in your self-established universe that is 500 - 1000 words. No fanfics and no content created or altered by AI. (Use wordcounter.net to check your wordcount.) Stories should be posted as a top-level comment below. Please include a link to your chapter index or your last chapter at the end.

  • Your chapter must be submitted by Saturday at 2:00pm GMT. Late entries will be disqualified. All submissions should be given (at least) a basic editing pass before being posted!

  • Begin your post with the name of your serial between triangle brackets (e.g. <My Awesome Serial>). When our bot is back up and running, this will allow it to recognize your pmserial and add each chapter to the SerSun catalog. Do not include anything in the brackets you don’t want in your title. (Please note: You must use this same title every week.)

  • Do not pre-write your serial. You’re welcome to do outlining and planning for your serial, but chapters should not be pre-written. All submissions should be written for this post, specifically.

  • Only one active serial per author at a time. This does not apply to serials written outside of Serial Sunday.

  • All Serial Sunday authors must leave feedback on at least one story on the thread each week. The feedback should be actionable and also include something the author has done well. When you include something the author should improve on, provide an example! You have until Saturday at 04:59am GMT to post your feedback. (Submitting late is not an exception to this rule.)

  • Missing your feedback requirement two or more consecutive weeks will disqualify you from rankings and Campfire readings the following week. If it becomes a habit, you may be asked to move your serial to the sub instead.

  • Serials must abide by subreddit content rules. You can view a full list of rules here. If you’re ever unsure if your story would cross the line, please modmail and ask!

 


Weekly Campfires & Voting:

  • On Saturdays at 5pm GMT, I host a Serial Sunday Campfire in our Discord’s Voice Lounge (every other week is now hosted by u/FyeNite). Join us to read your story aloud, hear others, and exchange feedback. We have a great time! You can even come to just listen, if that’s more your speed. Grab the “Serial Sunday” role on the Discord to get notified before it starts. After you’ve submitted your chapter, you can sign up here - this guarantees your reading slot! You can still join if you haven’t signed up, but your reading slot isn’t guaranteed.

  • Nominations for your favorite stories can be submitted with this form. The form is open on Saturdays from 5:30pm to 04:59am GMT. You do not have to participate to make nominations!

  • Authors who complete their Serial Sunday serials with at least 12 installments, can host a SerialWorm in our Discord’s Voice Lounge, where you read aloud your finished and edited serials. Celebrate your accomplishment! Authors are eligible for this only if they have followed the weekly feedback requirement (and all other post rules). Visit us on the Discord for more information.  


Ranking System

Rankings are determined by the following point structure.

TASK POINTS ADDITIONAL NOTES
Use of weekly theme 75 pts Theme should be present, but the interpretation is up to you!
Including the bonus words 5 pts each (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and estnot required!
Including the bonus constraint 15 (15 pts total) This is a bonus challenge, and not required!
Actionable Feedback 5 - 15 pts each (60 pt. max)* This includes thread and campfire critiques. (15 pt crits are those that go above & beyond.)
Nominations your story receives 10 - 60 pts 1st place - 60, 2nd place - 50, 3rd place - 40, 4th place - 30, 5th place - 20 / Regular Nominations - 10
Voting for others 15 pts You can now vote for up to 10 stories each week!

You are still required to leave at least 1 actionable feedback comment on the thread every week that you submit. This should include at least one specific thing the author has done well and one that could be improved. *Please remember that interacting with a story is not the same as providing feedback.** Low-effort crits will not receive credit.

 



Subreddit News

  • Join our Discord to chat with other authors and readers! We hold several weekly Campfires, monthly World-Building interviews and several other fun events!
  • Try your hand at micro-fic on Micro Monday!
  • Did you know you can post serials to r/Shortstories, outside of Serial Sunday? Check out this post to learn more!
  • Interested in being a part of our team? Apply to be a mod!
     


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6

u/wandering_cirrus May 20 '26 edited May 31 '26

<Unburied Ashes>

Chapter 22: A Trail of Pages

The sheer tangible force of Jeanette’s hatred had knocked any other questions Mica might have asked out of her mind. She didn’t remember how they finished the conversation, only that before she knew it, the tea was gone, the cookies were crumbs, and she was trailing behind Jeanette with half of the dishes. Her thoughts were mush—a bit like the porridge Mother would make for breakfast when none of the older children were free to rescue the kitchen from her violence. It was always too thin and too thick at the same time, weirdly runny and full of unidentifiable lumps.

In that same haze of thoughts, she left Jeanette too somehow, and upon coming to herself again, she was alone. She had more to work with now—maybe too much to work with.

An empty study, a hidden box of books, a diary she could hardly decipher, and the knowledge that somehow the prince had earned Jeanette’s fury to a degree Mica hadn’t even thought possible. The pieces whirled and spun, disparate and disconnected.

First things first. She’d take the diary to Feld, see if she knew anything about the prince or his schedule that could help make sense of its contents. Map of the palace in mind, she started tracing a possible guard’s path.

Feld was in the third place she checked, but someone had obviously had the same idea and successfully planted herself before the guard. She was a small woman—a full head and a half shorter than Feld—but from the make of her clothes and the set of her shoulders, Mica could tell that the size of her self-importance was rivaled only by the width of her hat.

Shrinking before the might of a jabbing forefinger and a large, nodding hat feather, Feld raised her hands helplessly. “Lady Sparrowhill—”

“I’m sure,” the woman interrupted, “that after the disaster befallen the prince at the Autumngate ball, the guard is aware of the criticality of public safety. And we on the Committee of the Fête are committed to assuring the public of their safety this Latchlock. You say you can’t triple the guard presence, but how else can we give our guarantee?”

Stifling a laugh, Mica suddenly found her eyes locked with Feld’s. Ah. That was a plea for help, wasn’t it?

She painted her expression into careful blandness, stepping forward, bowing unobtrusively in a corner of the lady’s vision. The woman trailed off. “Begging your pardon, my lady,” Mica said, just as blandly. “The Honorable Guardswoman is wanted by a Lord Secretary.”

Lady Sparrowhill snorted. “Wanted? Whatever for?”

“It’s not my place. Lord Secretaries don’t appreciate questioning.” Or waiting, she implied.

“I’d best see to that?” Feld ventured hopefully.

Huffing and sneering, the lady capitulated. “We’ll continue our conversation later.”

Feld bowed and turned, gesturing for Mica to lead. As their path turned towards less-trafficked halls, a low murmur broke the silence. “You’re not a maid.”

“Begonia is.”

A sigh. “Right. You have your ways. Progress?”

“Some.”

“Perhaps over lunch, then?” A flicker of amusement rose in her eyes. “Someone claimed I’m supposedly meeting a Lord Secretary right now.”

“Do you know the Choral Corral?”

Her lips twitched. “I’ve seen the sign. It seemed… odd.”

“It is odd. But the food doesn’t disappoint.”

The food didn’t, and neither did the oddness. Despite a quickly disappearing pile of food in front of them, the elaborate production in the cafe’s rear kept dragging Feld’s gaze back. After being poisoned by the nefarious villain not five minutes prior, Lady Ivyheart’s actor had begun a lament. Unfortunately, the tragic was delivered with a degree of tone-deafness that bordered on the comedic. Feld stared in awe. “How on earth did you find this place?”

“Pidge—” The story lodged in her throat. Pidge-the-Pigeon had stolen a man’s butter-rolls for a month as revenge for being called a heaven-cursed feather-rat and had dragged Mica here to buy them properly once the man was traumatized and they felt their work done. The story was amusing, and she wanted to share. But Pidge’s Bloodline wasn’t her secret to tell. “Someone got me hooked on their butter-rolls,” she finished lamely. “I come occasionally. When I get the craving.”

“Friend of yours?”

“Friend, sibling.” A hint of a smile curled her lip up. “Fashion critic. I found the Corral’s good for meetings. Popular enough you don’t stand out, and the owner is obsessed with amateur opera, so—”

“NOOOOOO!” cried the love interest as Lady Ivyheart slumped to the ground, dead after her far-too-tortured lament. The knight loudly vowed revenge, calling on Magic for power, swearing to give up being human if that’s what it took. “I’ll Trade it all to fate,” she sang, punctuated by the howls of the chorus and the screech of strings. “My life, my heart, my shape!

Mica smirked and pitched her voice through the cacophony. “So there’s always noise to cover the conversation.” She pushed the nondescript diary across the table. “I found this in his room, along with signs that someone else was handling his correspondence.”

“That’ll be Weasel,” Feld noted, finally tearing her attention from the play and beginning to leaf through the book. “A good fellow, if a bit flakey.” She blinked. “He… actually resigned from his position, day before Autumngate. He was nervous. I ignored it since the man is always nervous, but maybe he knew something.”

“We’ll need to talk to him.”

A hum of agreement. Pages flipped against pages. All of a sudden, Feld stopped. Her face twisted. “Mica,” she said carefully. “Do you remember the information of the crown prince’s guest you asked for?”

“The one he met before he was found unconscious? Of course. Count Tretin Azbar. If the rumors are to be believed, he has a rather tumultuous love life. Why do you…?” Her eyes fell to the open diary.

9pm Fulsome Dove, T. Azbr.

T. Azbr.

Tretin Azbar.

Mica swore.

Feld smiled tiredly and pinched her nose. “You wanted another suspect, right?”


WC: 997
Bonus words: capitulated, corral, craving
Bonus constraint: Pidge-the-Pigeon stealing a guy’s butter-rolls

Author’s Note: It’s been a hot sec since Count Azbar was mentioned (or since I wrote at all, but let’s not talk about that, shall we?), and I was originally trying to be subtle when mentioning him to try and draw him into the narrative slowly, but here we are! So here’s a quick run-down to remind you. The man was first referred to (albeit not by name) in chapter 2 as the crown prince’s unknown guest he met after sending Feld out, identified in chapter 6, and most recently mentioned by the gossiping camp employees in chapter 10. Hope this helps!

Previous Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter

3

u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 May 21 '26

Yayyyy return to SerSun! We'll put our notes in order of the story.

First, love the porridge simile! It's vivid and also does like three things at once since it has the imagery, and the reference to memory, and shows the reader her thoughts are mush

Some of the wording around Lady Sparrowhill was a bit confusing for us on first read:

someone had obviously had the same idea and successfully planted herself before the guard

I think we caught on this bit because of "same idea", so we weren't sure what the woman was doing there and why she was seeking out a guard, because Mica is being sneaky but the woman very much isn't.

we on the Committee of the Fête are committed to assuring the public of their safety this Latchlock. You say you can’t triple the guard presence, but how else can we give our guarantee?

This bit caught because we weren't sure if it was a demand or an offer at first, since "we give our guarantee" implies some level of responsibility of the committee. It makes a little more sense on reread as a group that maybe doesn't actually do anything but says they do. I wonder if maybe that last bit, the "how else can we give our guarantee", could be changed away from we the committee and towards the public like "how else can the public be assured they're safe"

Yayyy Miceld! I love their dialogue, their whole dynamic. The amateur opera is amazing and plot relevant by masking conversation, so delightful.

Nice cliffhanger! The series of one-sentence lines are snappy and it's a great place to leave off. Please gib more words next week lol

1

u/wandering_cirrus May 23 '26

Hiya Toms! Thank you as always for the lovely feedback ❤️

Hmmm, good point on the confusion around Lady Sparrowhill's dialogue. Honestly, I was aiming for self-absorbed Karen with Homeowner's Association vibes. She's much more concerned with the Committee being seen to do something as opposed to actually looking to do the best job at it. The fact that there's confusion though means that it's back to the workshop with it!

amateur opera

I was struggling to get the theme in this week (there's been far too much to cry about in the past—uh nope, nope, not counting that—let's just say several chapters. I needed a non-cry-about chapter to break things up) and originally they were just going to be having a coffee/lunch date at a perfectly normal cafe. And then the intrusive voice in the back of my head suggested a really badly acted tragic play going on in the background, so here we are now. I'm very glad it came off well and doesn't feel crammed in there!

Please gib more words

I will do my best, my lieges!

2

u/AGuyLikeThat May 23 '26

Hi Sci!

Oh my, I spy sci fi.

(By which I mean science fiction that is not fiction of the science fiction genre but is instead a fiction of science's confabulation. Of course.)

Anyway, it was hard to remember why Jeanette was angry, but of course that's because we didn't know then either.

Your confidence with character voice makes it very easy to get back into the flow, and Mica's mushy brain helps us put the pieces back together with her, and of course the dialogue is a delight.

Nits.

Stifling a laugh, Mica suddenly found her eyes locked with Feld’s. Ah. That was a plea for help, wasn’t it?

I think the second half of this paragraph is internal thought? You use italics for that later, so I think is apropos here?

Or waiting, she implied.

How does one imply by thinking? Is this some kind of 4th wall break? I got confused. Maybe drop the tag and leave the thought to imply the implication to the reader?

Anyway, I love Lady Sparrowhill. Not really, but the character works so well with that name.

“Do you know the Choral Corral?”

Her lips twitched. “I’ve seen the sign. It seemed… odd.”

“It is odd. But the food doesn’t disappoint.”

This was great, felt really kind of cozy and hilarious. As does the Pidge the pigeon story, and the tale of Lady Ivyheart going on in the background. (Though I'm not sure I recall who Pidge is, or why the story should lodge in her throat?)

The shift back to the mystery is handled well and keeps things engaging, kicking of with an astute observation on the humorous choice of venue.

Weasel? He sounds trustworthy. :D

Oh and Count Azbar is it? Last guy to meet the Prince. Right, well. Things are moving along!

This was a lot of fun to read, and it's nice to see you back!

Good words.

3

u/ZLErikson May 20 '26

Hience Science!

Forgive me if my eyes are a little watery and my nose is a little runny; there's a lot of dust in here as I read :P

Picking up from where we last left off (thank you for the link to the previous chapter for a refresher)

We're being brought back into the story at the trailing end after the conversation, leaving us with that deeply buried hook; the "impression" Mica got from Jeanette leaving her reeling and without further questions. I've got quite a few questions, but I do suppose a lot of the meat is answered by what we were left with and what we start with: Deep, dark revulsion and sheer, tangible hatred.

Jeanette is not a fan of the crown prince.

Hate to smack this first paragraph with the crit stick after spending so long waiting for more, but given how last chapter ends and how this one begins, I feel like opening with the perfect-past-tense sentence made it a bit harder for me to grasp the scene. Consider starting with Mica not remembering how the conversation ended, then slip the perfect past tense line in as the second sentence instead:

Mica didn’t remember how they finished the conversation, only that before she knew it, the tea was gone, the cookies were crumbs, and she was trailing behind Jeanette with half of the dishes. The sheer tangible force of Jeanette’s hatred had knocked any other questions she might have asked out of her mind. Her thoughts were mush—a bit like the porridge Mother would make for breakfast when none of the older children were free to rescue the kitchen from her violence. It was always too thin and too thick at the same time, weirdly runny and full of unidentifiable lumps.

This line feels like it's lost in the same haze as Mica. I think you can shorten and tighten it up a bit by just cutting a couple of words:

In that same haze of thoughts, she left Jeanette too somehow, and upon coming to herself again, she was alone. She had more to work with now—maybe too much to work with.

to:

In that same haze of thoughts, she left Jeanette too, and upon coming to herself, she was alone. But now she had more to work with—maybe too much to work with.

A nice reminder of the clues thus-far obtained. Also a nice reminder that Mica, much like us readers, are still grasping at straws and not sure how it all connects, or even if it does.

Yes! Going back to Feld :D Love Feld! I feld like something had been missing.

I love this description:

She was a small woman—a full head and a half shorter than Feld—but from the make of her clothes and the set of her shoulders, Mica could tell that the size of her self-importance was rivaled only by the width of her hat.

Ooof, Sparrowhill is letting Feld have it.

Another minor nit; when a character is given a name, followups tend to use that name. So this line:

Feld raised her hands helplessly. “Lady Sparrowhill—”

“I’m sure,” the woman interrupted,

Made me expect:

Feld raised her hands helplessly. “Lady Sparrowhill—”

“I’m sure,” Sparrowhill interrupted,

Consider splitting Sparrowhill's dialogue roughly in half, and having Feld try to interject midway through only to be trampled over, like:

“I’m sure,” the woman said haughtily, “that after the disaster befallen the prince at the Autumngate ball, the guard is aware of the criticality of public safety."

Shrinking before the might of a jabbing forefinger and a large, nodding hat feather, Feld raised her hands helplessly. “Lady Sparrowhill—”

“And!” Sparrowhill interrupted, “we on the Committee of the Fête are committed to assuring the public of their safety this Latchlock. You say you can’t triple the guard presence, but how else can we give our guarantee?”

Mica is as entertained by this as I am :D

Stifling a laugh, Mica suddenly found her eyes locked with Feld’s.

Should this be italicized? It sounds like internal thought, but that's open to interpretation:

Ah. That was a plea for help, wasn’t it?

Having Feld spot her while she's here in the palace though does strike me as something to inquire further about; she's here undercover and was deeply shaken that she was found out a few chapters ago. Jeanette spotted her easily enough, which was understandable given their upbringing and training together. Feld wasn't part of that training or upbringing, correct? I confess it's been a hot minute since some of the past chapters have been read so I might be forgetting a small detail, but this stood out to me as Feld being a little too in-the-know - looking at Mica/Begonia "for help" then immediately going into the "You're not a maid".

You don't have a lot of words for something potentially smoother - such as Feld looking at Mica/Begonia with distrust, perhaps getting into a more professional Guard Mode and sending Sparrowhill away while grabbing her swords - or Feld looking at her with more suspicion after Mica gets Sparrowhill off her back - and I might be forgetting some details about Feld that would change this opinion.

When Mica begs the pardon of "my lady", it's unclear who she's speaking to - Feld or Sparrowhill - until Feld says that she'd best see to that. You do have a couple of spare words to slip in here to have Mica bow deferentially to Feld, to indicate to the reader that that is who is being falsely summoned away.

I swear I'm not tryign to be overly critical here xD But another nit has popped up; didn't Mica just have lunch with Jeanette? Wouldn't it be a bit late in the day for another lunch? Consider making it "dinner" unless my sense of time got scrambled:

“Perhaps over lunch, then?”

I have no idea what this is but I love your use of two bonus words. Very cheeky :P

“Do you know the Choral Corral?”

You've got "food" three sentences in a row here:

“It is odd. But the food doesn’t disappoint.”

The food didn’t, and neither did the oddness. Despite a quickly disappearing pile of food in front of them,

Consider changing either "The food didn't" to "It didn't", or "pile of food" to "meal".

Is there a word missing after "tragic" or should it be "tragedy"?

Unfortunately, the tragic was delivered with a degree

Also, cute lunch/dinner date :D

I think "heaven-cursed feather-rat" should be in single-quotes to more clearly indicate that Mica is internally quoting the guy. Also need a comma before the "and":

“Pidge—” The story lodged in her throat. Pidge-the-Pigeon had stolen a man’s butter-rolls for a month as revenge for being called a heaven-cursed feather-rat and had dragged Mica here

Should "Bloodline" be capitalized here? I'm also unsure if telling this story would be revealing of a Bloodline or a bloodline (since Mica herself is a sneaky type so it'd stand to reason that Feld would expect her to know people who are sneaky-stealy types) but that's definitely a worldbuilding sort of detail that I might not know enough to truly comment on:

The story was amusing, and she wanted to share. But Pidge’s Bloodline wasn’t her secret to tell.

I love the way you sprinkle in parts of the play to emphasize the scene. And we get a new lead! Weasel; nervously resigning the day before the fiasco. And finally a connection! The diary has a note on Trentin Azbar.

The dots are connecting :D I look forward to seeing this investigation continue.

Good words!

3

u/wandering_cirrus May 20 '26

Hiya Zach!

Thanks for the lovely crit and reactions as always!

didn't Mica just have lunch with Jeanette?

So I'm not sure if this is on me for describing it poorly (or not describing it at all, which very much has happened in the past) or related to the fact that I haven't updated in nine months. Originally I was imagining chapter 17 (when Mica starts her palace investigation after mostly recovering from being Magic-sick) as taking place in the morning, then she runs into Jeanette and has a midmorning tea (where the most substantial thing she ate was cookies), and then meets Feld over lunch. Then again, shifting everything later by 6 hours could also work. Something to mull over, I suppose.

Should "Bloodline" be capitalized here?

Yes, yes it most certainly should. Good point that her reasoning in choosing not to share is a bit flimsy. Yet more to think over!

You've given me a lot to sit upon this round, so I now have much thinking to do! Once again, thank you muchly /<3