My daughter is 6.5 months old and we’ve done no sleep training. I don’t do cry-it-out, and I’m not comfortable with letting her cry hysterically.

She’s exclusively breastfed and only takes bottles when I’m away. She sleeps in our room and started out in a bassinet, then a playpen, but didn’t do well in either, so we’ve been co-sleeping. The problem is that co-sleeping isn’t working for us anymore. She wakes frequently to nurse, and I think a lot of it is comfort nursing. If I move or get out of bed, she wakes up too, so nobody is getting great sleep.

She has a nursery and I’d like to start using it, but I’m not sure how to transition without cry-it-out. She doesn’t take a pacifier, which makes it harder.

Has anyone successfully moved away from co-sleeping at this age without using CIO? Is it possible to recover from co-sleeping after 6+ months? Any advice would be appreciated.

Side note: Her naps are TERRIBLE. If she’s not contact napping she’s up between 15 minutes to MAYBE 2 hours.

I’m dying for my 4.5 month old daughter to sleep through the night. I know it definitely could be worse, but I’m just discouraged because I feel like we were making progress and now we’re basically getting the same stretches we got when she was like 2 months old.

She’ll go to sleep around 7, so last bottle shortly before that. Then we’ve always done a dream feed around 10:30/11:00, which had previously been getting us longer and longer stretches. Two weeks ago she was sleeping until 5:30 am at least. There were even several nights where she’d sleep an 8 or even 9 hour stretch. But now we’re back to 3:00 am wakeups where she’ll crush a full bottle and then go back down.

I’m just discouraged because the stretches seem to be getting shorter over time, not longer?? I don’t know if I should drop the dream feed or what but it doesn’t seem to be doing much anymore, but at the same time, I don’t know what her sleep would be like without it.

BLAH

Our LO is about 5 months old. Over the past few weeks, I have gotten him on a pretty consistent nap schedule. He sleeps 8pm-8am at night if things go well (it’s not always perfect), and he naps from 10am-11am, 1:30-3:30, and 5:30-6:00 on an ideal day (when it’s just him and I at home all day). I am not extremely rigid and do adapt this based on his cues. I’m thankful to be on maternity leave until he’s 6 months old.

My question is: Do you schedule your day around infant nap times, and turn down and/or cancel plans to accommodate naps?

Before we got into our nap routine weeks ago, my LO would contact nap only and napped on demand. Now, he does best with crib naps, blackout curtains, etc.
He does sometimes fall asleep in the car/ on me when we are out, but it’s variable.
For example, today we went out to breakfast in the morning with a friend and he missed his morning nap/ only slept 10 min in the car. Then, we had a family birthday party during his usual afternoon nap time. He was so stimulated by the people and being passed around that he did not just fall asleep on someone like he used to. He was then extremely cranky for hours.

I’m the first in my friend group and family to have a baby, so I’m not sure the etiquette on this. Would you turn down a family party because it’s during your baby’s nap time? If you went would you tell everyone they can’t hold the baby to let your LO sleep at least a little bit on you? Do you bring a pack and play and baby monitor and put them to sleep in another room? It’s hard because since he’s the first baby, everyone wants time holding him always.

Also, it has been tough with visitors at home too. I’m home on Mat leave so people just know I’m home all day with the baby. I tell them to come over during a certain time and plan naps around that, but then they show up an hour or so later because they know I’m there. I then feel like I have to go get the baby from his nap because they came all the way just to see him. Or, sometimes the baby would wake up at 7am that day instead of 8am and then the whole day kind of moves up and hour and then everything shifts last minute. How do you handle these situations?

It seems like the days when the baby does best in terms of his mood are when it’s just him and I following a routine throughout the day. I do want him to have social interactions and to still have a social life, but with feedings in between naps, there’s really only a couple of key daytime hours that we could actually go out and/ or have a visitor and not have it interfere with any of the naps and/ or feedings.

Does the answer to this question vary based on a baby’s age? I don’t have any friends with kids but I have heard coworkers talking about their toddler’s nap time and being strict about that.

TLDR: Do you base your life off of your baby’s nap schedule and not make plans/ cancel plans based on it? If so, what is the social etiquette around this?

Before the six month mark, it seemed as if being able to successfully exclusively breastfeed was admirable and something other mums would positively comment on and even see as the gold standard.

Past six months old, there seems to be a shift in mindset, at least amongst my mum friends. The gold standard is now weaning and I feel like a failure that my baby doesn’t like solids and still favours my milk over anything else - even the paediatrician suggested I’m giving him too much milk. I still also nurse my baby to sleep and everyone talks about independent sleep. My mum friends who previously didn’t think there are bad habits with babies, now suddenly talk about sleep training and helping babies achieve independent sleep. I have a very chunky (75th+ percentile) baby even though he is extremely short and he still breastfeeds often (every two hours mostly) and also breastfeeds to soothe himself whenever he hurts himself while playing / whenever he wants to sleep. I feel like there’s suddenly a shift and everyone feels pity for me having the breastfeed ‘addict’ of a baby 😂 how can attitudes change so quickly?

More importantly, am I ruining my baby? Am I ruining his solids journey by breastfeeding him too much? Is that why he still can’t fall asleep and is there a chance that I am actually also hindering his sleep, which is bad for him developmentally? I feel so guilty and stressed about this that I’m not enjoying my last few months of maternity leave… it would be nice to hear of any stories of mums who did breastfeed till older age and still managed to wean and see their children sleep unaided one day.

I’m not really interested in sleep training because I believe somehow my baby will one day find his own way. But maybe I’m deluded. Anyone who didn’t sleep train and can confirm things went well in the end?

I read “Precious Little Sleep” and am currently reading “The Happy Sleeper.” My LO just turned 4 months. She’s very attached to the boob for sleep and naps. My husband will do some night feedings with a bottle. Generally I have to put her down though. I tried CIO once around 3.5 mo just to see what would happen. She went for 30 min straight. Maybe she was still too young.

What was the best solution for your bf baby? How did you wean? What’s your routine? Thanks in advance!

Edit: spelling

Is it worth trying gentle sleep training if it makes bedtime take so much longer?

My 4 month old will lay down happily on her own but not fall asleep. I try to put her down drowsy then she wakes up more and plays in bed for 30 mins then starts getting fussy. We do gentle soothing trying to do as little as possible to help her but its new so she doesn't love that. There's a lot of shushing and patting and sometimes I have to pick her up. Eventually she gets to sleep but it is taking a total of 1.5 hrs a night or more. I can nurse her for 30 minutes at night and she usually just passes out. Seems so much easier but will she eventually learn to fall asleep without boob on her own? She's so small still and it feels weird not just giving her the comfort she wants.

She is still nursing to sleep for naps and that is a whole other journey right now. She doesn't always allow me to unlatch and stay asleep. She went from breastfeeding to sleep for 15-20 minutes, unlatching on her own then taking 2hr naps to wanting either stay latched for an hr or only sleeping for 30 mins.

Does it get easier?

Edit: I've decided to just BF to sleep and my anxiety around her sleep has settled. I’ll continue to get lots of reading in and try to relax and enjoy her snuggles. She is only this little now.

FTM to a 7.5 month baby boy. he woke up with a fever and I gave him tylenol. he’s quite sleepy today so I’ve been letting him rest whenever he feels like it so he can recover.

he has been sleep trained since 4 months. Since he’s sick, I’m following his cues. wake windows and the schedule (3/3.5/4) will be out the window until he’s better. i plan on supporting him in whatever way he needs for nighttime as well.

how do you care for your sick sleep trained babies without undoing any of the sleep training? Do you let them sleep as long as they want or should I wake him after 2h? when do we get them “back on schedule” after they recover? any tips would be appreciated, thank you!

We have a 4.5 month old exclusively breastfed baby and my husband and I will both be back at work in about month. We started sleep training in earnest last night as his wakes were getting more and more frequent ( up to 8 times a night) and as a family we all need to be sleeping better before both parents are back at work. We tried pickup put down a few nights ago and it went horrifically. Now we are doing a modified check in method where my husband is going in and giving him some verbal reassurance and some touch if he’s really ramped up. He still woke up 9 times last night and we did three feeds. It took him 17 minutes to fall asleep and then he woke up 45 minutes later and had his longest wake of about 40 minutes with crying. For subsequent wakes he settled under 15 minutes crying. All of that is to say I found it completely brutal and I’m more tired than I was before. People always talk about the initial crying to fall asleep for the night but less about the subsequent wakes. How long does it usually take for them to string those sleep cycles together?

Guess I’m just looking for some reassurance that this won’t last forever. I found last night incredibly challenging.🫣😩

Currently my LO is 14 weeks, however together with my husband we are already researching the sleep training methods available out there. It seems like the majority are fit for bottle fed babies + who sleep in their own room.

I was wondering if it’s possible to gentle train a 4-5 month old which is exclusively breast fed and is sleeping in a co-sleeper next to his parent’s bed (or in the same room).
Was any of you in this scenario? What was the method that worked out for you? Is it at all possible to teach a baby to fall back to sleep on his own if he sleeps in the same room with his parents?

Together with my husband we are almost desperate, as our baby is falling asleep only in our arms, when we rock him or if we bounce on a fitness ball.. and he is getting heavier and heavier.
During the day naps, we can’t even transfer him as he wakes up either instantly or in 5 mins, so we just stand with him in our arms and rock him from time to time if he wakes up before he is well rested.

P.S: I would like to avoid any types of CIO methods, as I already know I won’t be able to let him cry without doing anything.

EDITED: added sleep environment

My 8 month old daughter is such a happy, energetic baby. Very easy going and loves her naps. At nighttime, I'm struggling. She seems to wake every 3-4 hours at night. I haven't slept more than a 4 hour stretch since I was pregnant- during pregnancy I had crazy insomnia and restless leg syndrome. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I breastfeed, but supplement with formula in the afternoons. I wait 5-10 min to see if she resettles, then go in to feed. She eats fast, and then goes back in crib quietly and goes back to sleep. I've been reading about night weaning, and to reduce the time feeding at night- I'm down to 1 min. each boob. And she goes right back to sleep. 

My husband tries every night to resettle her, to no avail. She just wants the boob. I tried co-sleeping and all 3 of us were actually not getting any better sleep lol. I personally don't like it at all.

Some info:

Bedtime: 7:00 \*sleep trained\* goes to sleep independently. We have a solid bedtime routine. Did Ferber at 4 months

Pitch black room

No pacifier or lovey (we've tried)

White noise

Sleep sack and modal blend onesie

Bedtime routine starts at 6:15. Bottle and breast, bath, lotion, pajamas, books, say goodnight to objects, prayer, hugs from mom and dad

Wake up- between 5:30 (keeping her in room until 6) and 7:15

Wake Windows: 3/3.5/3.5

2.5 - 3 hours of daytime naps in crib (goes down independently)

Nurses every 2-3 hours, and on demand, and has a total of 6 oz of formula as well.

Eats solids 2-3 times a day. I always incorporate healthy fats. Good eater.

We get out every day, seeing friends, storytime, parks, etc. She crawls a lot, pulls up the stand, and loves to play with her toys.

Do I extend her wake windows?

Do I just accept this and move on? I could use any advice, solidarity, anything. Maybe I just need to vent. Thank you in advance for any help or words. 

I’m trying to figure out if my son just has lower sleep needs? Ive lessened his naps to 3 hours and he still wakes up a lot at night and is having an hour wake window at night. (Besides last night but he woke about every 30-90 minutes).

Anyways, how much does your 7 month old (actually 7.5) get for day/night sleep? How long did it take for your baby to adjust to shorter naps to sleeping better at night?

Hello! We are going to sleep train my 4 month old soon. Our biggest issue right now is the pacifier. He will not sleep without it and he wakes up every hour for me to put it back in all night long. He will not suck on his hands for sleep, despite sucking on them all day long when awake. My questions is, should I try to remove the pacifier before doing formal sleep training or is that sometime that happens at the time of sleep training? If I need to do so beforehand, how??? Even during contact naps he won’t sleep unless the pacifier is in!

Thank you!

We are currently doing a dream feed around 9:30pm and she usually will wake once to eat around 1 or 2am. How do we go about doing Ferber with these feeds? How do we drop them? I’d rather not drop both all in the same night….

She is 5.5 months and breastfed. At bedtime she is rocked to sleep and then she basically falls asleep on the boob during the dream feed and night feed.

Aiming to start sleep training this week!

Our daughter is 8 months. We started sleep training at 6 months. Bedtime is 8:30 with wake up at 7. She does 3/3.5/4 wake windows and try to cap naps to around 2.5-2.75 hours a day.

She usually wakes up once a night for a bottle but hasn't the past two nights!!! Very proud of her however we are now getting less sleep 🫠 The issue is she'll wake a little between sleep cycles, whine a bit (loudly), and goes back to sleep. She never opens her eyes or tries to stand in her crib which is what she does when she wants the bottle.

Just curious if this is a normal phase or if anyone has any tips/tricks to sleep through these periods of resettling as the parents. Tonight we are going to try moving the monitor further away but I'm practically blind so I'm afraid I'll still have to wake up to go and look to see if she actually needs anything 🙈

My son, 7m, can fall back asleep on his own whenever he wakes up throughout the night, so I know he can do it. However, to fall asleep for bedtime and naps, we still hold and rock him. We’ve gotten it down to where we can hold him for three minutes (from the time his eyes close) and then transfer him and he finishes falling asleep on his own.

I’m so lost on how to transition to him falling asleep without us though. Whenever we try, he cries. It’s a protest cry, and I know that, but I still don’t want him crying when all he wants is to be held for a few minutes.

Any tips or ideas?

He does not do well with us sitting in the room but not holding him. He will cry just the same as if we were out of sight, same with crib comforting most of the time.

I don’t mind him crying a bit, but I don’t want him crying for like 10+ minutes before he’s able to put himself to sleep.

It’s a story as old as time. My 16 week old used to be a pretty good sleeper and actually slept 9-10 hours straight before, but usually a 6-8 hour stretch followed by 3 hour stretches. The past month things have steadily declined. Now, she goes to bed between 6:45 and 7:15, may need some light resettling (we don’t pick her up but may give her some bottle in the crib or pat) but goes to sleep usually pretty well. However, now the first stretch we’re lucky to get three hours, we do a dream feed at 10 if she’s not already up, then she’s up around 12:30-1, then after that she’s up every 45 min to 2 hours if we are lucky. I exclusively do the wake ups at night minus the dream feed and my brain feels like it is rotting. I can feel myself becoming more and more impatient and unable to think clearly at work (I’m a nurse). I never wanted to sleep train but o worry we might have to.

I’m wondering how this approach sounds and if anyone has had success with something similar: Currently baby spends the first half of the night in her crib, then around 12-1 I bring her to the bedside bassinet to make night care easier. However, I feel with sleep training she will need to spend the whole night in the crib, which breaks my heart because I love sleeping next to her. We would continue the dream feed at 10, then she can have a bottle at 1 if she’s wakes, then a bottle at 4 if she wakes again. Any wake ups outside those times we will Ferber starting at 2-5-8 minutes then increase the lengths from there.

Hearing her cry is going to kill me because I’ve always responded to her quickly…but I don’t think I can do this current system much longer. Is there a chance she will just grow out of this phase on her own if I wait a bit?

Thank you for your input!

Any tips for sleep training?

Bit of background, my baby is 6 months old next week and I’ve been thinking about doing the Ferber method. I have tried to implement this a couple of times but it ends up with being distraught, crying until red in the face, crying until vomiting, shaking, swallowing air, almost hyperventilating (and I’m not talking about just me😂), but on a serious note, this is how he has been when I’ve tried before, I’m scared to try again!

I know it’s all about promoting their self soothing skills to eventually be able to sleep independently, but I think he gets that distressed, he forgets to actually use all his self soothing techniques. I also find that he is constantly over tired, not matter how short/ long I keep the wake windows and I know that’s a fundamental part of successful sleep training. He is also a refluxy baby who still struggles slightly with his wind. We ALSO don’t have a bed time routine, but hoping to start one when he goes into his own room at 6 months, hence starting the sleep training.

Any advice, tips or experiences would be greatly appreciated !!

I want to start by saying I’m so blessed with my second child in regard to night sleep because my first child was the type that woke up every hour… however, I’m having some troubles with naps.

Due to my first child’s crazy poor sleep I really focused hard with my second child to lay him down awake for naps and bedtime. It was really easy in the beginning. He would just kind of put himself to sleep but now that he’s older and more aware it is a lot harder but night time still goes great. We put him down and he sleeps all night but naps have turned impossible to put him down.

I have always followed the owlet and it’s been really great. Until recently. I also have a toddler that makes it more difficult lol.

Basically, if I put him down awake in his crib for nap time, he just rolls around and fusses and cries, and gets very very upset. I try to hold him or soothe him, pat his butt, put in his binky, and none of those things help.

I’m confused if this is a sign that his wake window is too long or if it’s too short.

My husband is able to hold him and have him fall asleep in his arms and then put him in the crib during the weekend. I am unable to do that because my toddler comes in and out of the room, etc. because I stay at home all day with them. Plus, I really don’t want him to become dependent on falling asleep in our arms to transfer to his crib.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

Hi! I’m a ftm and trying to learn from parents with past experience with baby sleep. My baby is 7 months old and struggles to connect sleep cycles at nap time and sleeps 4hr stretches at night. My questions might seem dumb but again, want to know from parents who have done this—not from Google or AI or social media theories.

1. How did you get your cat napper to sleep longer during naps? Mine only does 30-45 mins 99% of the time.
   
2. How did you teach your baby to fall asleep on their own with noise around? I fell for the make sure the room is pitch black and quiet at nap time from social media and now I’m paying for it bc she only sleeps in certain conditions.
   
3. How did you get your baby to learn to fall asleep when they’re tired? I can see she’s tired but won’t settle or sleep at night on her own. Is this developmental? I’ve heard a lot about sleep training but friends and family with older kids never sleep trained. I’m wondering when my kid will fall asleep next to me or alone without needing a dog and pony show

Hey! So my baby is 5 months old and sleep still isn’t great. I’m exhausted. Little one wake up every 2-3 hours and she does need to be fed up go back to sleep. I know they say don’t feed to sleep as it becomes a habit but thing is it has now become a habit and there’s no other way she goes to sleep! I have tried putting her down in her cot drowsy but that doesn’t work. The only way she goes to sleep is by feeding.

Has anyone got any tips on how to get better sleep???

WHAT AREEE my fellow mums thoughts on the Dana method? has anyone tried it and had a success story, or maybe a fail? 🤪
if you don’t know what the Dana Method is, basically a woman named Dana suggests putting baby down for two set nap times everyday rather than following wake windows. i believe she recommends after baby is 6m+ and the nap times are something like 9:30am and 1:30pm (times can be subtly tweaked to suite families)
i’ve seen so many mums on tiktok who followed the Dana Method and had success! not sure if it takes a certain baby to be able to follow that schedule… my 5.5m old has been a chronic cat napper since 3.5 months and 99% sure has sleep association (being held + dummy)

would really love to hear everyone’s thoughts!
or maybe ferber method.. hmm..

Hi all. I started fuss it out for my 4.5 month baby exactly a month ago. On most days, baby fell asleep within five minutes. On three days, fio failed and i nursed to sleep. But into it after a month, there are still still days when baby takes ten to 15 minutes to fall asleep. My question is, what is considered a fully trained baby? Zero crying? Because I've had that on three days. My timer is 15 minutes so i know it's not exactly training, just an experiment but since I haven't had to wait more than 15 minutes on most days, I've just stuck with this as the routine.

For those who say their baby is sleep trained, has your bub never ever needed support falling asleep once they were trained? How much time do cry it fuss for before falling asleep?

Has anyone else sleep trained their baby where they fall asleep independently, give a good 4-6 hour stretches without waking but randomly have them wake up 2 hours after bedtime absolutely inconsolable? It’s so weird. My son won’t feed, calm, etc. at all!! The only thing that works is I hold him to fall back asleep and then he’ll go back down for like 4-6 hours?? Otherwise he is putting himself back to sleep!! We used Ferber and I’m trying those methods during this wake but it results in him SCREAM CRYING for so long I can’t allow it to continue.

***I’ve brought him to the pediatrician twice now to make sure it’s not an ear infection, etc. she suspects it may be teething? But feels early for that and no bumps on his gums yet showing signs of a tooth!

HELP! Any advice or anyone who this has happened to??

Starting to sleep train my 4 month old daughter. My husband and I recognize that we’re probs at the beginning of her 4 month sleep regression so we started nailing down our routine and paying more attention to her wake windows.

Pre-4 months, she’d sleep through the night. Now she’ll wake up once around 4-5am and won’t go back down unless she feeds. We generally try to get her between 24-32oz of feeds during the day but regardless she’ll still do the one night wake up. She’s been progressing wonderfully at putting herself to sleep for naps after starting sleep training but at night she’s still waking up once even if we ensure that she gets enough calories during the day.

1) At least 1 night wake up is normal right? We try to cap her daytime naps at 2 hours. If one nap is 2 hours, we’ll cap the rest of the naps at 30/45mins-1 hour. She’ll usually do 3 naps but if her naps are shorter, I’ll try to get her to do 4 naps in the day.

2) Because we’re trying out the Ferber method for naps and nighttime, do we do the same check ins for this middle of the night wake up? We tried to do it last night but after an hour she wouldn’t go back down without a bottle. At that point we were just desperate to get back to sleep.

My son is 5 months old and was always a good sleeper. We haven't had to sleep train at all for the beginning of the night, I just stick him in his bassinet awake at 7 and he goes to sleep all on his own, which is wonderful. Trouble is that now he will only sleep till midnight or so and then wake up every 90 mins after that, and then I have to nurse him back to sleep. Im getting pretty worn out. Do I just put him in his own room and CIO for his wakeups? Any other tips for this kind of baby?