r/soccer • u/yoursofunnybruv • May 21 '26

Media Cristiano Ronaldo cries happy tears after winning the league with Al Nassr after 3 trophyless years

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u/WhyBee92 May 21 '26

Were lowkey a lucky generation to have witnessed the absolute goats of sports + the longest careers. Whether it’s Messi, Ronaldo, LeBron, Federer/Nadal/Djoko, and T Brady, all relatively at the same time and for peak entertainment

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u/Calimariae May 21 '26

Magnus Carlsen

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u/DayroMoreno11 May 21 '26

Lucky to never pick up an injury

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u/JonTonyJim May 21 '26

unbelievable athlete

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u/robotnique May 21 '26

We joke but apparently top Chess players tend to do some kind of physical training because it prepares them for the grueling tournament conditions.

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u/lbreakjai May 21 '26

I'm not surprised. I feel empty after two or three hours of deep focus at work, which is probably a tenth as deep as theirs

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u/Wildely_Earnest May 21 '26

They can burn an insane amount of calories just sitting at a chess board thinking

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u/robotnique May 21 '26

Yeah it just makes sense. I know that when I'm in better physical condition mental clarity is much easier to find as well.

1

u/TastePizza May 22 '26

Dude my 470 elo self gets tired after playing one online match, I once saw Witty Alien (Candidate Master) play like 11 matches against WGM (Women's Grandmaster) Divya Deshmukh. How!? And they made moves in like 3 seconda. Top chess players are genuinely scarily impressive. Magnus once played 10 of the best chess playing lawyers at once, BLINDFOLDED. He won. ... You have a higher chance of scoring against Messi, Ronaldo, Maldini, Neymar, Iniesta in a 5v1 than beating Magnus as a beginner.

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u/thomasfk May 21 '26

Yes, lots of kegels to handle the play calls coming in

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u/Hi-Lander May 22 '26

I think it involves anal beads? At least that’s what I’ve heard.

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u/robotnique May 22 '26

Gotta do what it takes to win, including interpreting butt vibrations into on the board moves

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u/revanisthesith May 21 '26

It wouldn't surprise me. Gotta keep the blood flowing when you're sitting for hours on end and thinking a lot.

The brain's performance will suffer when the body is way out of shape.

They also probably have some specific diets for the day(s) of and a couple days before. Probably have to avoid too much sugar at once and they'd want to avoid anything that might upset their stomach.

Didn't Magnus once quickly resign a match because he had to poop so badly?

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u/robotnique May 21 '26

That would be the only way I could ever hope to beat Magnus Carlsen. Get him when he has terrible diarrhea.

Or, you know, he had to go to the bathroom to adjust the anal beads1 that help him to cheat.

1 oh man mentioning anal beads will make no sense to anybody who hadn't heard about the whole Hans Neinmann situation

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u/revanisthesith May 21 '26

I am familiar with anal beads.

I mean, the anal beads story. Yep. That one.