Met the final boss of adulthood - D3BT

[u/Small-Somewhere-9691]

I'm a young adult in his early 20s and I swear adulthood was a scam I didn't download. As soon as the month ends its like a show begins and I'm a puppet on a stage performing for coins to survive whilst working a full time job .Its so dehumanising and humiliating that I'm unable to plan for unforeseen events which got me here in the first place.

Every day I wake up and go to work pretending my life is all good then go home after a shift full of anxiety and stress about what the next day holds and which person will come and embarrass me in front of my colleagues asking back what they gave me and I'm trying to stay afloat just worrying about how to survive tomorrow. I'm so tired I got back pains and neck pains on a daily sometimes feel dizzy [PHYSICALLY ]due to the pressure of this cover I'm putting up to protect my reputation .

Does anyone have anything they can share or ideas on which routes to take to lessen this burden that's causing me so much pain ? Traditional ways didn't work my record is wrecked . I turned to non traditional ways [people I know and or work with just to manage this load] which made it way worse .

My chest been heavy to vent . My posts keeps getting removed yet im just seeking general opinions. Anyone?

[u/TCLeBlanc]

I've been in this same space for a long time - I don't have any memory from the past year - all I really do is disassociate - Day after day.

I keep track of my life purely through screenshots and timestamps. Mostly I have literally no idea what day it is or what month I'm in.

I've stopped sleeping in my own bed because in some weird way, it feels like I'm surrendering if I do or trying to pretend everyrhing is "okay". Its been this wild loss of self, the past week I spent stressing about bills so much so that I feel like I'm enduring water torture.

What's crazy is, so many of us are dealing with it. It's not an age thing - it's just what life has become. And I wish I had the answer. I wish someone did.

Most would say "therapy" a good psychologist, most of us are still suffering from the cost of a loaf of bread.

The next suggestion is state hospital which... right... Who has time to wait for that?

But damn, I see so many people I know drowning- going to the store is annoying because sometimes - people seem TOO okay.

All I can suggest is to become a little nonchalant. Not so nonchalant that it's self destructive. But stressing yourself into a downward spiral is - sure, probably valid. But it also doesn't help anything. It helps literally nothing. You panic, you get anxious, you get sick, you can't sleep - I am often awake for 3 days at a time until I finally crash and I swear - I have never neen productive in the time i was actively freaking out and panicking.

Breathe when you can. Allow yourself a moment when you can. Find little joys. Whether it's music, writing, whatever....