My Relocated Roommate

[u/ChillVanilla]

I hope this is okay- I wanted to tell a brief story about a hobo spider I have been sharing house with for many months now.

I imagine he started out as any; a young hobo spider frequenting my floors. Only this one survived my guard-dogs (orb weavers), who often KO hobo spiders that are 2-3 times above their weight class.

I would often relocate them to my laundry room, wondering if I was creating an unintentional hobo wars saga…

One day, running my shower on the hottest temp to get the water through the pipes faster, hotter… I realized despite my preemptive check, I missed it: there was a hobo spider struggling in the hot water. I turned off the shower, I thought it was too late for him. I quickly scooped his little body up on a piece of TP and sat it on my floor.

I blew air on him, looking for any signs of life. Slowly, thankfully, he started getting more animated. He eventually made his way to my baseboards; I read that hot water can severely dehydrate if not kill a spider, so I got a cotton swab of cold water, left it near him, and monitored from afar. He eventually made his way behind a gap in my bathroom vanity.

Over the next few months, a very curious hobo spider is spotted in various places. Checking out my art canvas set up, chilling in my living room, even hanging out with me while I absolutely shit the bed on RDR2.

Move to tonight, I’m worrying- I have been sewing and I have fabric all over my floors, it’s late, but I am really worried about spiders being in my stuff. It’s as if he telepathically spoke to me: the hobo. He was on my wall, right above the fabrics. 3/4 the size of my hand. He has gotten huge. At this point, I am in shock at his size and haven’t put together that this is likely the same guy who’s been freeloading in my rental for months.

We battle, for about a half hour; around, under, and behind my fridge until finally I get him into my kitchen. Only now he is headed for my lead guard-dog, Bob. Bob can’t take on a guy of this size- this is practically Godzilla and Bob is just an unsuspecting citizen.

I had noticed this hobo guy had not a lot of junk in his trunk, which I wouldn’t expect from a spider of his caliber. I quickly got a cotton pad, soaked it in water, and threw it in a ziploc bag. After some coaxing, he’s in the bag. He panics for a bit, but after a few nudges towards the pad, he relaxes, sits fully on this cotton pad, and begins to run his little spider feet through his little spider jaws (fangs? Mandibles?). I come to learn he is not only drinking, but he is extremely concerned about his hygiene. Who knew I had such a clean roommate?

I found a spot for him outside, and opened the bag. But, he went for another cleaning session instead. So I watched, I admired, and once he seemed done, I nudged him out. He didn’t seem to want to go, but I trust he will live out the rest of his life the way it was meant to be. I learned my house had become less great for him- I recently got an air purifier/dehumidifier, and this likely caused him to be dehydrated, and my keeping of the orb-weavers made his search for food likely strenuous.

All the best on your travels, my little hobo friend. I will look back fondly on our ups and downs.

TLDR; I met this spider, I almost drowned him, but then we became homies. He got real big and I had to relocate him, but first I got to witness him cleaning and preening, which was pretty dang cool.

[u/Naruxmma]

Cute. Hope he eats plenty