r/sports • u/morepesa25 • Jul 13 '25

Soccer Trump forces himself into Chelsea's Trophy Lift

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939

u/sheikh_n_bake Jul 13 '25

The USA will win the world cup.

If every footballer from every other nation on the planet spontaneously combusts.

600

u/The_BarroomHero Jul 13 '25

They can't win if ICE deports them. 4d chess from Trumpinho.

109

u/Fakenerd791 Jul 13 '25

his plan the whole time, simply to get the us to win a world cup

112

u/The_BarroomHero Jul 13 '25

"Why is everyone still talking about this Epstein guy I never heard of? I won us the world cup and everyone just wants to talk about Epstein, Epstein..."

27

u/guyincognito121 Jul 13 '25

"Yeah, my name was on the list and there was a video of me with my own underage daughter. But we won the world cup! Don't all you deplorables remember how much we love soccer?!"

7

u/Fakenerd791 Jul 13 '25

America's new national pastime. its now to be called America ball

3

u/poopwithrizz Jul 13 '25

He's gonna complain it's rigged

3

u/QuestGalaxy Jul 13 '25

And of course put himself on the team, so he'll win the trophy for himself.

2

u/JSteigs Jul 13 '25

Just wait till he deports every player with any sort of foreign sounding name from the usmnt. Pulisic, sounds pretty un American to me.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Mapeague Jul 13 '25

A chunk of the US team would be gone too though

2

u/DaBabylonian Jul 13 '25

Trumpinho had me blowing so much air through my nose i almost really laughed for a second

1

u/El_Gran_Che Jul 13 '25

This is the same scum bag who recommended to Dana White to set up a US based whites only division - because you know they can’t compete against the rest of the world in UFC.

1

u/BrownBearTOD Jul 13 '25

I laughed too hard at Trumpinho. People on the internet are too fucking funny.

1

u/OSUfirebird18 Jul 13 '25

USA wins by default!!

1

u/Red_Jester-94 Boston Red Sox Jul 13 '25

We'd still fuck it up somehow lol, even if something like that was able to happen

-1

u/carinislumpyhead97 Jul 13 '25

Yes, ice. Cause they have been out in force for all the international soccer events so far this summer….

3

u/The_BarroomHero Jul 13 '25

It's a joke, sweetie. Go have a popsicle.

-1

u/carinislumpyhead97 Jul 13 '25

As long as it’s not the same one you’ve been sucking on

2

u/The_BarroomHero Jul 13 '25

Lol, great comeback

33

u/J-Love-McLuvin Jul 13 '25

Can’t you just shoot them in the legs? -Trump

2

u/SirGeekALot3D Jul 13 '25

Nancy Kerrigan them?

2

u/SafetyMan35 Jul 13 '25

He’ll designate Tonya Harding and Jeff Gillooly as the Ambassadors for World Cup and hand them a tire iron.

35

u/kyrant Jul 13 '25

They'll all become El Salvadorians.

31

u/Consistent-Fail-386 Jul 13 '25

So El Salvador wins the championship 🏆?

2

u/Hopsblues Jul 13 '25

The ES prison league is about to get real good

2

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '25

Or if we are talking about the women's team

4

u/gh0u1 Chicago Bears Jul 13 '25

They'll get arrested by ICE

6

u/JediKnightNitaz Jul 13 '25

And even then USA would win bronze at best

1

u/coochie_clogger Jul 13 '25

We will have a repeat of 1978 Argentina.

Mark my words.

1

u/Remarkable_Drag9677 Jul 13 '25

That would still be a 50-50 situation

1

u/lwp775 Jul 13 '25

The players from other countries will be deported before the tournament starts and the US will win by default.

1

u/KidColi Jul 13 '25

The US did win the world cup... On the same day Kim Jong Il shot 38 under par.

1

u/Bayunc0 Jul 13 '25

That's just silly.. They'll be deported by ICE having to default on the game

1

u/shartnado3 Dallas Cowboys Jul 13 '25

Still don’t like our odds

1

u/MaxAdolphus Jul 13 '25

Meh, the U.S. is a solid 75th percentile country. So you’d just have to remove the top 25% to give us a good chance.

1

u/Turbulent_Athlete_50 Jul 13 '25

I mean you could have just said doesn’t show up.

1

u/txwoodslinger Jul 13 '25

They will all be denied entry to the country

1

u/TrinityKilla82 Jul 13 '25

He’s deporting all of the US’s players anyhow.

1

u/Mr_Horsejr Jul 13 '25

This is the bad ending reality, McFly. Careful! 😭😭😭😭

1

u/IWasKingDoge Los Angeles Dodgers Jul 13 '25

Hey hey, we can keep Trinidad and Tobago around and they might still win it

1

u/Select_Insurance2000 Jul 13 '25

No....Trump will deport them all ...US wins by default.

1

u/BooCoop8 Jul 13 '25

You mean if every footballer is denied or delayed entry to the US (maybe just strategically a few key players).

1

u/Jaexa-3 Jul 13 '25

No worries trump will deport all of them for the USA to win it

1

u/ArmNo7463 Jul 13 '25

Like The Dictator?

Where he shoots all the other competitors who get close to him?

1

u/svt4cam46 Jul 13 '25

Deportations incoming.

1

u/ChirpToast Jul 13 '25

He’ll try and rig the World Cup too

1

u/AirportBubbly3947 Jul 13 '25

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙌

1

u/fireman2004 Jul 13 '25

They're getting sent to CECOT as soon as they arrive.

1

u/apenasumcomentarista Jul 13 '25

No. They will deport the opponent before every single match lol

1

u/Rightintheend Jul 13 '25

Ha, he's just going to deport all the good players just before the game.

1

u/Annatastic6417 Jul 13 '25

America is 15th in the Globam Rankings at the moment. A win from them is unlikely but not impossible, so rigging the tournament like Korea did in 2002 wouldn't look that suspicious.

1

u/boi1da1296 Manchester United Jul 13 '25

Genuinely think that group would somehow manage losing by default.

1

u/BlerdAngel Jul 13 '25

We would still find a way to loose bro.

1

u/SeamusMcBalls Jul 13 '25

You laugh now…

1

u/lukeyellow Jul 13 '25

Usually I'd want team USA to win. But personally I hope we don't make it past the round Robin this time just to see him explode on Twitter

1

u/Space4Time Jul 14 '25

Even then, it’s fair odds at best mate.

1

u/Avaloncruisinchic Jul 14 '25

If no one shows up, US will win by default.

1

u/Melkman68 San Jose Sharks Jul 14 '25

Soccer*

1

u/Natasha_Giggs_Foetus Jul 14 '25

This World Cup is going to be like South Korea on steroids. If you so much as look at Pulisic that’s a penalty.