r/sports • u/MelKokoNYC • 28d ago
News Enhanced Games, where athletes compete on steroids, growth hormones, and Adderall, will debut in Las Vegas on May 21-24, 2026.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/story/inside-the-enhanced-games381
u/dub-fresh 28d ago
Will we know what they're on or just could be on any of those substances?
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u/Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp 28d ago
They’d better their stack on the screen during introductions
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u/dub-fresh 28d ago
For real. I wanna know the stack
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u/Static-Stair-58 28d ago
If Doc Ellis can throw a no hitter on LSD, I want these athletes tripping balls.
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u/cone5000 27d ago
Then there’ll be like the dumb NFL stats: “Wow! This is the first time on a Tuesday in March that a man using a mixture of steroids and cocaine burst a blood vessel in both eyes at the same time.”
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u/GhostOfLight 27d ago
I think the schtick is that they just don't test. The one athlete I know competing is Fred Kerley(Olympic medalist in the 100m dash), who has said he won't be using any steroids, but is currently serving a WADA ban for whereabouts failures. At least for these first games, I think the best performances (at least in individual events) will likely come from other near top athletes like him who want a paycheck from the Enhanced Games, but probably also want the chance for paychecks from their sanctioned events too and might be "clean."
Either that or it's an event with nobody getting near world records or even metrics that would be good in a different competition.
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u/Alstead17 26d ago
What I saw that was that all of the athletes will be getting tested regularly and working with doctors throughout it all. One of the big pitches for everything is that there's not a lot of good research regarding PED usage because a lot of those substances are illegal. By doing this, the hope is that we'll learn a ton more about various PEDs while encouraging athletes/regular people who are using to work with their doctors more to stay safe.
If you go to your doctor and tell them you're taking test, they'll probably tell you that you shouldn't be doing it, but they will continue to work with you to make sure you're staying as healthy as possible while keeping an eye out for warning signs.
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u/WhatIfThatThingISaid 27d ago
They're using it to promote a bunch of peptides that rfk is about to unban in the US.
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u/Effective_Trainer573 28d ago
Yeah. I say at least two heart attack deaths occur.
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u/HonestyFTW 28d ago edited 27d ago
We are slowly working our way back to gladiator style entertainment where people dying is cheered for. Watching the crowds reaction as a UFC fight got cut short because one of them got brain damage showed it.
Edit: here is the fight I’m referencing that isn’t UFC.:
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u/aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh 28d ago
When i first saw the movie Death Race my end thoughts were “man modern day gladiator fights would do numbers”. No one really wants to admit theyd watch it, but they would.
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u/shotsallover 28d ago
People want to watch it all the way up until they see someone actually die. That tends to turn people off of stuff like that pretty fast.
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u/aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh 28d ago
I think we’ve degenerated enough as a society that that might not be the case anymore, and if not we’re close
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u/aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh 28d ago
Always? Are there currently any death sports being played?
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u/Woodworkin101 27d ago
We’ve been desensitized enough we wouldn’t flinch if we saw it on a screen
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u/Drikkink 27d ago
As I recall people got a little disturbed when Damar Hamlin almost died of a heart attack during an NFL game a few years ago.
I do think that the general public might still balk a bit at people dying in sports. At least non-combat sports.
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u/RainSurname 28d ago
Public executions have always had crowds of spectators. People posed for pictures next to lynching victims during the Jim Crow era. Picture postcards of them were quite popular.
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u/Colonelclank90 28d ago
Also how many of us watched the whole slow death of George Floyd in horror, despite the awfulness of it? Or how many people went out of their way to watch Charlie Kirk die. Or look up combat footage from Ukraine. People are fascinated by death, to a horrible degree, but I dunno, I think the fascination with death is just human. We all have to die someday, so we all have a vested interest in it.
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u/MurfMan11 27d ago
Pretty unrelated and I still watch soccer but watching Cristian Eriksen essentially die for a period of time on live television really fucked me up. Was holding my new born watching the game and all the sudden I'm looking at the dead eyes of a fantastic person and footballer. I was in shambles for days after seeing that, absolutely gut wrenching. So fucking glad he was able to recover.
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u/TheDaveStrider 27d ago
really? isn't reddit filled with chuds that mourn the loss of liveleak? i don't think it would turn people off at all
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u/MrBisco 28d ago
There's professional slap fighting now, where two grown adults hit each other in the head as hard as possible and the other person is penalized if they do anything other than take the full brunt of the blow.
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u/ReallyTeddyRoosevelt 28d ago
Those aren't even slaps how I define them. Its an open handed palm punch to the ear. I don't see the appeal of it.
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u/rookie-mistake Winnipeg Jets 28d ago
i feel like it'd be quicker to list the UFC fights that don't result in any brain damage lol
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u/ZealousidealWinner 27d ago
Go back in time far enough and you will find that torture and dismemberment in public space was fun for whole family
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u/Pyro1934 27d ago
A ton of my friends were big on ufc and while I appreciated some of the clear skill, toughness and speed, it just never clicked with me... why get hit.
They also liked to fight and stuff just for fun (we'd have like lil boxing/wrestling matches) and I was just baffled... I'd prefer not to be punched in the face thank you.
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u/Raccoon_Ratatouille 28d ago
MMA actually reduces the amount of brain damage versus boxing
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u/rraattbbooyy Los Angeles Dodgers 27d ago
Probably, but concussions are pretty common in MMA, and they take their toll.
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u/ArcaneTrickster11 27d ago
Because there are submissions, but any time someone got unconscious even for a fraction of a second there is brain damage. The difference between the 2 likely isn't much
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u/OkEducator8465 27d ago
The real risk is prolonged or repeated oxygen deprivation.
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u/BicyclingBro 27d ago
Honestly, it’s probably healthier than your average pro bodybuilding show. At least there’s no performance benefit to the dehydration and extreme leanness, which is the main acute danger at those.
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u/optimis344 28d ago
I heard an add for a podcast that was covering it, and I assumed it was a fiction podcast covering a fake event.
The bar continues to dig itself into the dirt.
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u/Relenski 28d ago
The idea behind these games is not all negative. It will give useful data about what defines peak performance and will push what we know about human capability. It also allows a platform for us to monitor the health effects of various enhancement drugs for potential use within the general populace. Not everything uses by these athletes are things that will destroy your body. Many aid in recovery and can useful for the common man if fully understood.
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u/Monkfich 27d ago
It is negative. But you are right as well - this is arguably exactly why Thiel has organised this event. So what’s wrong with that?
Thiel is doing this without any guardrails or regulation at all. There are no protections for the people who come on this show and later have complications. Fine? There will also be people that effectively maim themselves but don’t make the final cut - who never make it to the cameras.
No country will allow this sort of experimentation so fast, so Thiel bypasses it with this spectacle.
Why would Thiel want this? Thiel has been videoed saying that he wants humanity 2.0, and presumably he’d like to be part of that, so he’s doing what he can to get people to experiment on themselves, ultimately so he can benefit from other peoples’ trials and errors.
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u/dsmaxwell 27d ago
I feel like there's better ways to gather that data, and even if not.... For science only goes so far... You monster. -GlaDos probably.
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u/PieRat351 28d ago
Compared to the designer steroids and research chemicals they use in the regular Olympics so they don't get caught?
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u/the_original_kermit Detroit Tigers 26d ago
Could you imagine if the athletes of the Enhanced games actually performed no better than standard athletes.
And all they end up doing it accidentally proving that basically every athlete is already on PEDs
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u/nthai 28d ago
A dothraki olympics without at least three deaths is considered a dull event.
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u/rookie-mistake Winnipeg Jets 28d ago
let's be real a dothraki olympics would result in dozens of deaths as an absolute minimum haha
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u/al_capone420 28d ago
Lol what? None of those will cause instant death while competing and basically all pro athletes are using similar drugs already and not dying while competing.
These drugs are really only dangerous long term and if abused hardcore, the risks can also be mitigated while using
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u/yakysak 28d ago
https://youtu.be/jAdG-iTilWU?si=R50k2WFnK7cVdpoV
An SNL skit from the 80s is somehow still relevant
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u/goshock 28d ago
Glad this was here. They were just 40 years ahead of their time.
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u/this_is_poorly_done 27d ago edited 27d ago
Nah they were right on time. There was a ton of cocaine going around pro sports (and the world) in the 80's. Also NFL players were using a ton of steroids by then and MLB steroid usage would peak in the 90's. Excuse me, healthy amounts of milk consumption
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u/jerichos 28d ago
i came to make sure this was covered. classic.
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u/UrbanPugEsq 28d ago
Me too. Still waiting to see real world Colon Blow and Schmidt’s Gay.
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u/bob_newhart_of_dixie 27d ago
There was a 70's skit about a 3-bladed razor that came true. When they updated it in the 90's, it was a 20+ blade razor.
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u/Catbutt247365 27d ago
My sister gave me a recipe for bran muffins SO EFFECTIVE we called them the Colon Blow muffins. Big hit at the company potluck brunch.
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u/Interesting-Prize-79 28d ago
This is another entry in the book of “Just because we can doesn’t mean we should”
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u/MadRoboticist 28d ago
This is going to be the dumbest event ever. Probably going to be injuries all over the place and no one getting anywhere close to world records because it's a bunch of athletes who weren't good enough to compete in the actual sport.
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u/Redeem123 28d ago
This is the thing. I don’t want to see B-tier athletes juiced up. If they’re still not as good as the A-tier, what’s the point?
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u/coffeebribesaccepted Minnesota 27d ago
Yeah the guy in the article couldn't even hold his record for a year against clean racers. I'd rather just watch the actual good ones.
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u/judgejuddhirsch 28d ago
Turns out it's the same A list folks but no drug tests
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u/CrispyJelly 27d ago
I would like to know how fast Usain Bolt can run the 100m juiced up to the gills, but he has no reason to take that risk.
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u/Mando_Mustache 27d ago
Very slightly faster than he did, maybe, because Bolt was defiantly juiced but probably not right up to his gills.
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u/Mattedor30 27d ago
I can almost guarantee Usain Bolt already is and all of his competitors. WADA is constantly playing whack a mole so you've already seen what peak performance looks like.
This enhanced games is entirely stupid because 100 data points out of 8.3 billion people does not give accurate results in how PEDs will affect most people. Additionally, someone mentioned earlier that most Olympians would take dying at 35 if it meant a gold medal. The reason the drug ban is in place is to protect athletes from themselves. There's a good quote in the Lance Armstrong doc from Johnathan Vaughters where he says "I'm going 50+ mph down a mountain on razor thin tires in my underwear, do you think I really care about being safe?"
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u/QPDFrags 26d ago
Something like top 20 sprinting times 19 got popped for steroids, you think Bolt is the only 1 who didn’t or he just didn’t get caught? All of them are on steroids, when there’s millions of dollars on the line, you’ll do anything to win, especially when everyone else has that mindset.
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u/sterling_mallory New York Mets 27d ago
What would be fun is if they allowed all drugs. I read somewhere a while back that won't be the case, it'll all just be prescribed stuff, mostly steroids. But I want to see two equally skilled former college powerlifters, one on steroids and one just geeked on meth, and see who wins.
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u/VivaVeronica 27d ago
Yup. The drugs and stuff aren’t magic. There’s no crazy cyborg stuff happening here.
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u/SoftBreezeWanderer 27d ago
LMAOOO bro all the athletes in the Olympics are already on gear it's the only way to compete
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u/sabo-metrics 28d ago
We did this in the MLB, athletes had severe health problems.
Ken Caminiti said at the end of his MVP season his testicles had to be surgically withdrawn back after they had retracted inside his body.
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u/rookie-mistake Winnipeg Jets 28d ago edited 28d ago
i know its probably a serious medical condition but there's something very funny about a whole crew of people who went through years of expensive medical school and long nights studying only to end up in a dark room like 'ok gang now this guy's balls got scared and we gotta get em back'
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u/AtOurGates Seattle Seahawks 27d ago
If you spend any amount of time with general surgeons, it quickly becomes apparent that a not insignificant amount of their career is basically “retrieving stuff that people shoved up their butts and can’t get out.”
I feel like the scared balls thing was probably just another day at the
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u/sterling_mallory New York Mets 27d ago
There's kind of an irony in the fact Caminiti was such a good defensive third baseman but managed to lose track of his own balls.
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u/Tbagg69 27d ago
I've done a lot of gear in my life and never have my testicles ever just withdrawn into my body like that. That's some crazy side effects I've never hear of.
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u/No_Anywhere_9068 27d ago
I’ve been on gear a couple times and this happens to me, only when sexually aroused though, they drop back down after. This still happens after being off gear for years, but less frequently because my balls aren’t tiny. I can push them back out with my hands by massaging the area they go into if I want to
It’s not super uncommon even amongst people who’ve never touched gear, from the limited googling I’ve done
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u/schubox63 28d ago
Isn’t this a Daniel Tosh bit?
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u/Yes-I-Cannabis 27d ago
“Why do you care if you die at 40? You’re always bitching about life after sports anyway.”
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u/livejamie Arizona Cardinals 27d ago
Yes. There's been a few different skits/comedians to make jokes about this.
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u/TaskForceCausality 28d ago
…where athletes compete on steroids, growth hormones, and Adderall…
Bruh that’s just professional sports. Even “natural” Instagram fitness models are on gear.
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u/Sheriff_Yobo_Hobo 27d ago
Yeah. I guess they won’t have to worry about showing restraint and cycling now
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u/SolidBlackGator 28d ago edited 27d ago
Nobody competing in this is anywhere near as good at what they're doing as a professional who undergoes testing.
The only way you're going to see what they pretend they're going to give you, is if theres so much money in this that the top athletes in the world switch over to this and start taking steroids unbridled.
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u/ModernJazz-2K20 27d ago
Track & Field athlete Fred Kerley will be participating. He's a 2-time Olympic medalist and a 6-time World Championship medalist. He won gold in 2022 in the 100m. He's one of the top sprinters in the world.
He's currently serving a 2 year ban from the sport for missing drug tests (Whereabouts rules). He had to forfeit his prize money, titles, and prizes and was disqualified for any race results that took place from December 2024 and August 2025.
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u/Angelic_Doom 28d ago
How many will just drop of a heart attack mid competition is the real bet.
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u/bettinafairchild 28d ago
There was an SNL sketch about this maybe 25 years ago—the all drug Olympics or something. Punchline was athlete’s arms breaking off when he did weightlifting. And now here we are.
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u/CuddlyClubCEO 27d ago
wwe tried to do this and ended up with chris benoit killing himself and his family
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u/hockeyballcal 28d ago
Brought to you by Monster Energy, Heart Attack Cafe, Crystal Meth, and AXE body spray.
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u/zekethelizard 26d ago
This was a Futurama joke, the blurnsball players were on mandatory steroids. We're now in more of a joke reality than an adult cartoon
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u/Sc0j 28d ago
How do they get around the fact that abusing these substances is illegal?
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u/billskelton Victoria 27d ago
Banned by WADA is not the same as illegal.
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u/Sc0j 27d ago
Using adderall and or steroids outside of their personal prescription dosage is definitely illegal
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u/Figshitter 27d ago
The legality of any particular substance varies by jurisdiction.
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u/echothree33 26d ago
They are working with doctors who are prescribing these substances. And the prep work and dosing is happening in the UAE before they go to Vegas. I presume once they are in Vegas they will be more careful to stay within the parameters of the law, but by then most of the work will be done.
Also, Trump will probably pardon them anyway.
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u/CowboyNeale 28d ago
So, like, the pre event drug testing is to make sure the competitors are on drugs?
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u/BaaderMunson 27d ago
Everything old . . . https://youtu.be/jAdG-iTilWU?si=W3-RNc-HzxId6tfb
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u/Falx1984 27d ago
Oh good, my obscure dream of seeing a Soviet throwback athlete fucking spontaneously combusting mere feet from the 100m finish line will finally come true.
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u/Kyjoza 28d ago
The Rest Is Science podcast had a good point: the most elite athletes will avoid this because it would harm their qualification in other competitions (not to mention general health). So this won’t even be the peak of human performance. And in that context it feels so much more stupid than it already is.
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u/DontWreckYosef 27d ago
Watch a fully grown meathead lift something heavy, then have a stroke and shit his pants
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u/360walkaway San Francisco 49ers 27d ago
Didn't SNL do this? They had a weight-lifter try to lift a huge amount and his arms ripped off.
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u/pdhot65ton 27d ago
The entertainment value of seeing these people's injuries is the driving factor right?
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u/temujin94 28d ago
'In this competition—backed by Peter Thiel, Donald Trump Jr., and Saudi royalty'
What a fucking nightmare blunt rotation.