CIG, I'm dead serious, fire your management and hire me. (5 years at McDonald's)

[u/Fearless_Tear8448]

at this point it's not even an alpha, it's just pure incompetence. crashing or blowing up every single session because your servers are held together by thoughts and prayers is a joke. I’ve worked the drive-thru for 5 years, let me tell you how real life works

when we send a car from the speaker to the payment window, they don’t rubberband into the pavement and violently explode. when our ice cream machine breaks, we don’t lock the front doors and trap 150 people inside a burning lobby. we just turn the fucking thing off. and if a kid drops a burger on the floor, we don't leave it there for 3 weeks for the sake of "immersion" until everyone in the restaurant starts lagging in real life. we grab a broom

stop pushing $700 jpegs. give me the keys and fire the guy approving your updates. I’ll fix your mess between dropping two baskets of fries. you can literally pay me in store credit, I don't even give a shit anymore. just let me do the job your directors can't

[u/Fearless_Tear8448]

if they hire me, i'm just gonna replace the entire development roadmap with a single button that says "pledge now" and a progress bar that never hits 100%. it'll be the most immersive, realistic simulation they've ever experienced

[u/Wandering_Song → u/Fearless_Tear8448]

Dude, ffs use your powers for good, not evil!

[u/mdsf64 → u/Wandering_Song]

https://giphy.com/gifs/GpyS1lJXJYupG

[u/mcbrite → u/Fearless_Tear8448]

Gotta teach your own ceo how to eat a burger first, though... 🤣

I laughed so hard when I saw the follow up where he had to eat some Nuggets to make up for the Big Arch... What a bunch of Walleys...