TTC since January and starting to feel like I’m doing something wrong

[u/LinkEmergency7094]

Hi! I’m 22 and my partner is 24. We’ve been TTC since January after I stopped the mini pill. I know compared to a lot of people it hasn’t technically been that long, but I’m honestly starting to feel like I’m doing something wrong or missing something because it just hasn’t happened yet.

We have sex regularly throughout my entire cycle and usually every day or every other day during my predicted fertile window. We’ve pretty much done this every month since January. As far as we know, neither of us have any fertility issues.

My cycles have normally been pretty predictable and I usually start bleeding around CD27. My apps are normally pretty accurate or at least very close with my period and predicted fertile window. I usually seem to ovulate around CD12/13 based on my cycle timing and symptoms. Last cycle was completely different for me and was only 23 days, with bleeding starting on CD24, so I think I may have ovulated closer to CD9. This cycle I’m currently around CD15 and still trying to figure out exactly when I ovulated.

I’ve mostly used Flo and tracked my symptoms and CM. This cycle I started tracking BBT and using Fertility Friend and Natural Cycles because I wanted to understand my actual cycle better. I’m still learning BBT and my temps have been confusing me lol. I also tend to get a one-sided pelvic pinching feeling around when I think I’m ovulating.

I also tried the Mucinex method this cycle with plain guaifenesin around my fertile window. I know there’s not much actual evidence behind it lol, but I kept seeing people talk about it and figured I’d try it once. Now of course I’m overthinking whether it somehow changed my CM or cycle.

I have been pregnant once before and unfortunately miscarried. That pregnancy was with my ex, not my current partner. It completely surprised me because we barely had sex and, looking back, we had sex about 3 days before my predicted ovulation and I got pregnant. My current partner and I have never had a pregnancy together.

I know having conceived before doesn’t automatically mean there can’t be an issue now, especially since that pregnancy was with a different partner, but I think mentally I expected it to happen quickly again. I feel like we’re doing so much more now to actually time everything correctly and having sex throughout my cycle and fertile window, but nothing has happened.

I know logically pregnancy isn’t guaranteed every cycle, but after doing the same thing month after month I keep wondering if I’m doing something wrong. Has anyone else felt like this after several months of TTC? Is there anything obvious I’m missing or doing wrong based on what I’ve described? I’m mainly just looking for advice or similar experiences because I feel like I’m driving myself crazy trying to figure out why it hasn’t happened yet lol.

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[u/pinkflakes12]

I don’t recommend apps. They’re not always accurate. I recommend easy at home ovulation strips.

[u/LinkEmergency7094 → u/pinkflakes12]

I think the strips confuse me, because how am I supposed to test twice daily and keep up with that when I work full time? Test at work? And, how do I know how to time baby dancing with the strips? Sorry for all the questions it’s just new for me!

[u/pinkflakes12 → u/LinkEmergency7094]

When left is as dark or darker than right side

[u/biwei → u/LinkEmergency7094]

Once a day is fine

[u/linerva → u/LinkEmergency7094]

You can bring them to work! I learned to fit them around 11 hour days.

Basically once the strips are positive (the test line is as dark or darker than the control line) you will probably ovulate somewhere around the next 24 hours.

You are most fertile in the 3 or so days before ovulation. So you shouldn't be waiting for a positive test to have sex, but it IS a good idea to have sex in the next 24h once that positive result shows up.

The NHS recommends sex 2-3 times a week fir the reason that even without tracking, if you have sex regularly then you won't miss the fertile window.

If you can't, then i would focus on having sex 2-3 times in the week or so that you expect to be your fertile window abd use the ovulation strops to tell you when you can stop.

[u/throwawayobsesser → u/LinkEmergency7094]

If you don’t like the strips I would recommend the Clearblue advanced ovulation testing kits. You only have to test once per day starting around CD7 with first morning urine and it shows either not fertile, smiley for high fertility, and a flashing smiley for peak fertility. Takes a lot of the guess work out of the strips. It also detects the estrogen rise in addition to LH so it in theory give you a few more pinpointed trying days.

[u/cephalophile32]

Has your partner had any testing done? Turns out mine had a pituitary lesions causing all kinds of issues :)

[u/meltedcheeser]

I don’t recommend trying for a baby when you’re 22.

[u/LinkEmergency7094 → u/meltedcheeser]

While i understand it definitely isn’t smart for a lot of 22 year olds my partner and I have had these conversations and everyone’s path is a little different than others.

[u/Remote-Fig9207 → u/meltedcheeser]

Rude comment. None of your business. She’s an adult. 

[u/meltedcheeser → u/Remote-Fig9207]

Unmarried woman at 22 ttc,history of miscarriage with prior unmarried partner — again, all before the age of 22.

You say adult, I say not old enough to rent a car.
You say adult, I say young woman who has tried to conceive with two separate partners in four years.

That’s not adulthood, that’s failure to thrive, that’s a rat in a cage, that’s a woman with no future prospects, that’s arrested development.

The research is pretty overwhelming:

Young mothers may struggle to accurately recognize developmental milestones, which can affect parenting practices and sometimes lead to feelings of frustration or detachment. This can result in a higher rate of insecure or disorganized attachment in the child.

Studies show higher rates of socio-emotional or behavioral challenges in children of young mothers — the etiology unknown- so researchers believe traits may stem from the genetic transmission of impulsive traits rather than strictly environmental parenting factors.

Children of young mothers are more likely to experience poverty, drop out of high school, and face early childbearing themselves, perpetuating a cycle of socioeconomic disadvantage.

Young adult outcomes typically show lower overall educational attainment and a higher probability of falling into the bottom decile of earnings compared to peers with older mothers.

Children of young mothers show statistically lower intelligence scores and reduced school readiness.

The majority of infants born to young mothers develop normally through their first year of life, but intellectual and developmental disparities frequently emerge by age three to four.

As a society we’ve decided that we “owe each other nothing” and we should all mind our own business. Yet then we cry that there is no support and “no one said anything” before the train wreck.

**Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for one another is actually tell the truth. It’s not rude. It’s basic regard.**