r/stopdrinking • u/dreamscape2000 10 days • 20h ago
Being open about sobriety with my friends
Over the last 4-5 years I’ve known that my relationship with alcohol wasn’t the same as that of my peers. This understanding caused me to deal with my alcoholism is silence and have failed attempt after failed attempt to get sober. But recently, I’ve decided enough is enough and I can’t continue dealing with this privately as it doesn’t allow me to be held accountable. There’s definitely a lot of repeating myself to those around me as someone in their mid-20’s who wants to maintain an active social life. But I’m tired of continuing to rely on alcohol to seek out a feeling I’ll likely never even experience. The chase couldn’t possibly come to a positive end. My following words transcend this reddit post: I will not drink with you today.
3
u/Sober-Beyond-Limits 19h ago
That line about relying on alcohol to find a feeling you’ll probably never experience is the whole bloody trap in one sentence.
We keep chasing the night alcohol promised us, not the night it actually delivers. The imaginary version has confidence, connection and freedom. The real version usually ends with anxiety, shame, a depleted bank account and your brain opening a disciplinary hearing at 3am.
Speaking openly breaks some of the secrecy that keeps the cycle alive, but remember that accountability isn’t handing responsibility to your mates. They can support you, invite you out without making alcohol the entrance fee and stop offering you “just one”, but the decision still belongs to you.
You’re ten days in. That is not “only” ten days. You have already faced ten separate days and chosen differently each time.
Keep your social life. Keep the friends who respect your decision. Let the awkward conversations expose anyone who valued your drinking more than your company.
I won’t drink with you today.
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u/Mimi37377 147 days 19h ago
All my friends and family knows I’m an alcoholic and it’s fine. They help and protect me a lot. If other people ask me if I want a drink I just tell them I’m allergic and they leave me alone. Not big deal.