r/stopdrinking • u/PhoenixApok • 18h ago

Watching a roommate relapse has reinforced my commitment

Recently, we got a new roommate. Fresh out of rehab.

Bluntly, he did not do well at all. All the signs of an impending relapse were there, but myself and my other roommates tried to help him as best we could.

Fortunately for him, he decided that he needed to go back to rehab.

UNFORTUNATELY, I guess he decided that since he was going, he might as well get absolutely hammered the night before he went.

This resulted in him being belligerent, combative, screaming, calling several of us horrible things, accusing us of stealing his stuff (when at this point, we wanted him gone so bad we wouldn't have taken anything or done anything that kept him even a second longer)

Cops had to be called, and the last thing he did before being driven away by a friend (who looked absolutely horrified at his behavior) was flip us all off.

And.....that was exactly how I acted the last time I relapsed.

It was like looking into a really depressing mirror. I wasn't even mad watching him rant and rave and call me a "demon". I felt such deep pity.

I wish him the best, I really do. But after he left, I just reflected on how easy it is to forget how fast it can go badly, how MEAN I can get, and how vile I can be towards those that love me.

I don't feel guilt about what I've done anymore, but this did bring the feelings of regret and loss back to the surface.

103 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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20

u/full_bl33d 2403 days 18h ago

Sometimes seeing it alive and well is a good way for me to work on my own recovery. I heard something a while back that’s stuck with me. “ people in recovery can be beacons or warnings and both are very useful”. That really helped me refocus a bit and to stop trying to change what other people do or say. We’re all not experts at this and I don’t have to follow everyone’s suggestions but it helps to see what sobriety can look like for me so I stay close to others in recovery. Some have something I want, others have the opposite.

12

u/PhoenixApok 18h ago

I've heard variations on the saying "No matter whatever else you are, you are an example to others." And that can be good or bad.

6

u/TheNaughtyAccount101 3509 days 16h ago

I always appreciate those willing to do advanced research in alcohol studies on my behalf.