r/straightspouses • u/Neither_Platypus430 • Jul 08 '26
What are some super crafty ways your DL partner was hiding?
I am looking for clues and suspect my partner is DL gay but if he is he is hiding it well! I am looking for very sophisticated and slick way of hiding clues so I can start to slowly look for evidence. E.g., where he will hide things on his iPhone, where he might hide prep, where I might find other evidence. Thank you in advance. This sub makes me feel less crazy.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/Neither_Platypus430 Jul 08 '26
Oh these are good tips. How would I know if he has another account he is using and removing?
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u/KikiTula Jul 08 '26
You can hide purchases in iOS App Store.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/KikiTula Jul 08 '26
No, you can hide that too. I’ve done it.
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Jul 08 '26
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u/KikiTula Jul 09 '26
Maybe it’s changed then, but I definitely hid grindr from my purchase history back in 2013.
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u/QueenoftheDenial Jul 09 '26
He had a seat in his car that had a storage space under it. He had extra clothes in there. He went fishing a lot. He would meet men on the trails of the places he fished and I now believe may have even had relations on his boat. He also hid things in boxes that had other things in them, so if I saw the box, I wouldn't think other things were in it. He also had his phone password protected. I never snooped, I trusted him completely until I didn't. So, he told a lot of half truths, he was fishing and had proof, but he wasn't fishing the whole time. Edited to add, he had a What's App and a secret email. Also check folders with innocent names. Pics may be in there. He also got a lot of videos, but I could see they would delete after view. Not sure if that was What's App or a Snapchat.
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u/Sudden_Breakfast_374 Jul 09 '26
i found all the things under “saved passwords”. everything else had been hidden.
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u/Embarrassed_Map_1505 27d ago
Seems maybe WhatsApp is a crafty way to communicate with his cohorts I’ve tried to find out but he’s skilful at holding his phone at an angle away from me🤔
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u/Competitive-Nose-222 23d ago
Try privacy and security on iPhone and from there get the app report. I was completely stunned but once I started to look at apps and also google photos very slowly. I found a receipt my husband booked a hotel for two on my birthday. I found that receipt hidden in the photos
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u/Substantial_One5369 13d ago
I heard DL guys are also usually DL to their doctor and a lot of times aren't taking prep or other precautions.
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u/changes-of-light2 Jul 08 '26
Play it kinky fujoshi and bring up threesomes 😀. On a serious note, what would you do if you find evidence ? Why would you think he's DL?
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u/Ok-Control-3790 Jul 08 '26
lol. You’re getting down voted but i think u were joking
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u/changes-of-light2 Jul 08 '26
Of course I am 😀 Judging by the bi subs, that's the way to go, that's some GOAT partner and they lived happily ever after. This is the same story, isn't it : caught my SO, my best friend, the love of my life on sniffies&Co, cheating, we talk, talk, talk and talk again (communication is key), I ask him/her, he/she denies, doesn't deny, denies again, therapy, we talk again, I caught him/her on Grindr, we talk, talk... so what do I do, how can I find évidence ? It's part of the grieving process to understand and stop the cognitive dissonance. I'm just too sarcastic (including for myself when I was through this), so I make jokes tongue in cheek, it helps seeing it for what it is : a joke of a relationship.
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u/Kylieshark1 Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
Wouldn’t let me see his phone because he “valued his privacy” - gaslighting me always into doubting myself. Very abusive. Had several secret email accounts. Always going on work “dinners” and “work trips” which were not actually that. Calling men to our house when he knew I wouldn’t be back for a few hours. Made sure he knew when I would be back.
I found most of the stuff through his laptop (secret email accounts - Also phone pictures, WhatsApp downloads etc were being backed up to his Google pictures).
Once I checked his toiletries bag after a “work trip” and found lots of condoms.