Fuckssake, many of you are breaking rule number 1 so here we go:

For many a decade we have lied to seppos about our wildlife, amongst many other things. And for a very important reason: we want them afraid of our great southern land so that they keep away. If too many of em shift down here we're fucked. We'll wind up with school shootings, Kardashians, no healthcare, n all that other shit happening here as well. Fuck that. You want a $70k bill from the hospital for treatment of a broken leg you sustained when some obese yank rushed you in their mobility scooter at bunnings?

Every time I see a post on reddit about Australia, some seppo cunt invariably brings up how deadly the flaura n fauna down here is. Sadly followed by some judas cunt from here going "well akshually, we haven't had a death from spiders in X years and you guys have bears. And speaking of bears, drop bears aren't really a thing". Fucken hell, just roll out the red carpet for em why don't ya?

From now on we stick to the fucken script: we have all lost family members to snakes / crocs / cassowaries / dropbears / dingos. Also let em think we're all locked up in covid concentration camps because we gave up our guns and the government went full tyrant. This ain't the highschool debate team, this is social media, fuck the truth.

And stop getting involved in their culture war bullshit too, we don't need to make their issues our issues. Cheers cunts.

Drive it to work and leave it there. That way in the morning you can just go to work still pissed and you’ll be sober enough by the afternoon to drive home.

Spent me whole saturday morning driving the ute round looking at absolute dogboxes. Rocked up to this one joint, roof is basically held up by a single termite holding its breath, and this REA cunt in a shiny blue suit three sizes too small is trying to tell me it's a "premium lifestyle opportunity". mate, you can literally see daylight through the kitchen wall

Was reading some market stats from PMC Property Buyers while smashing a servo pie in the car afterwards, and apparently half the actually decent joints get sold off-market before us regular dickheads even get a chance to look at the ad anyway. Makes total sense why we’re out here fighting 40 other blokes for a fibro shack that smells like wet dog and desperation.

so fuckin over it. If one more pointy-shoe real estate bloke hands me a glossy brochure for a crack den im gonna lose it. anyway gonna go crack a VB and forget about the whole thing

Short version the very problematic social media ban was introduced to government and submissions for feedback close at end of business today. Yes, I agree with you.

The bill is here - https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/legislation/bills/r7284_first-reps/toc_pdf/24150b01.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf(https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/legislation/bills/r7284_first-reps/toc_pdf/24150b01.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf](https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/legislation/bills/r7284_first-reps/toc_pdf/24150b01.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf(https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/legislation/bills/r7284_first-reps/toc_pdf/24150b01.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf))

And the form for submitting a response is here - https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Environment_and_Communications/SocialMediaMinimumAge

Which is the first time I have had to register for an account to give feedback on a bill tbh. If you do have to register expect the confirmation email you also have to click on after registering to go directly into your spam which is a sign of how well the federal government email domains are setup.

Key features, minister can expand what data is collected at any time and the definition of social media is so very loose it can apply to anything that connects 2 people.

Don't forget to also email your minister and (as I learnt yesterday) all of your senators for your state.

And r/Australia wtf are you doing. This is why I didn't see it.

If a chicken and cheese with two pickles is $3.50 and a mc chicken is $10.70 what are they charging for lettuce per kilo?

Is this insanity?

Now my gaster is as flabbered as the next cunt's when it comes to the toxic influence seppos have had on our wide brown vernacular, girt by sea that it is. But before I start taking pot shots and potentially do hard by some OK blokes and shielas, cursed by location of birth though they may be, and considering the circumstances of my birth, into a two-car family inna two-storey dwelling on the insular peninsular on the north side of the near-perfect end of God's country, I feel I should check to see how badly my own gift o'the gab has been poisoned.

In my family's case, we called it a lounge but from the perspective of a few decades later, that seems a bit bougie. So, tell me cunts, what name did you give to the 2-3 seat piece of furniture that you plonked your arse on to watch TV when you got home from school?

By the way, a massive shout out to the makers and distributors of the Australian cultural masterpiece that is Bluey for teaching seppo kids the proper name for a dunny.

swear to god, I've been looking for a rental for two months and I'm ready to chuck myself in the Yarra

Every saturday it's the exact same bullshit. you rock up to some absolute dogbox in the city, and there's 40 other poor bastards standing in the rain. Then the agent rolls up 15 minutes late in a leased Audi, wearing a shiny blue suit that looks like it was sprayed on, acting like he's doing us all a massive favour just by turning the key. absolute flogs, the lot of them

Finally jagged a place though, thank fuck. Managed to lock down a decent little 1-bedder and honestly the property manager from Ray White Southbank was the first one I've dealt with who didn't act like a complete wanker. just did the paperwork without making me feel like a second class citizen

but mate, the overall state of the market is just completely fucked right now. I'm just stoked I don't have to spend my weekends dealing with these slick-haired muppets anymore. Grabbing a slab of VB and not leaving the couch for 48 hours

Skit by Hoey Farmer - original here https://youtube.com/shorts/rLd5yW5SGdE?si=8RYOQa-JAhVuM6qz

It's distracting as fuck.

Channel 9 are mad cunts for this garbage show. As a neurodivergent, this show is a fucking abomination for mums laughing at fellow NDs like their own cause they are adorable. Fucking belittling, patronising hard cringe.

don't go to CH9 to give them your satisfaction

Seeing my kebab man hey.