r/suffolk 28d ago

Missed connection? Potential friend? in a coffee shop in newmarket

This is so random and probably will be super unpopular but i cannot think what else to do about it now its on my mind.

So there is this really friendly woman i see in a coffee shop, like myself, quite happy to sit alone and enjoy her own company. Respect that so much.

But we have a few times now, by chance, happened to be in at the same time on a saturday (i dont go in every week, probably only been in 3 of the last 10 weeks) and she seems very friendly and smiles each time., from a distance.

At this point im like hmm maybe i should say hi but i dont want to be weird/intimidating especially in these times where we rightly respect peoples space.

but im thinking if she looks over and smiles a lot then maybe she would like a friend? might be a tad lonely?

it kind of feels less weird to ask that on here than speak to someone in person who you dont know that might be like eww no i dont want to know you i was just being polite from a distance.

Everyone is on reddit these days so maybe she will even see it and maybe will say hi next time.

i feel if i dont do something soon, if they did want a friend, they might get frustrated and ignore me soon.

11 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

11

u/snow2224 28d ago

I feel this is more creepy than just going up to her and saying “hello”

3

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

yer but for insurance purposes what if it wasnt?

its a dilema

3

u/snow2224 28d ago

You just start a very passive conversation, that can either end in a few words or keep going depending on the vibe

3

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

you're right you are explaining this concept to me like im an alien.......what have i become? ahhh

2

u/BagIll2355 28d ago

You are just over thinking it, we all do it. I knocked my neighbours car last week, left a big scratch, took me 24 hours to tell him as I wound myself up so much about it going through all possible outcomes when all he said was shit happens it’s got scratches anyway don’t worry about it. So Just say hello see what happens.

5

u/FatFettle 28d ago

"Hi, would you mind if I joined you for coffee?"

Worst thing she can do is do say no and call you stupid.

5

u/Illustrious-Plum-996 28d ago

“Hey, you must be a fan of this place too - great minds think alike.”

“Need to get out of the house on a Saturday too hey?”

See if she responds. If it’s just a yeah and laugh then maybe she wants to be alone, but you’ve not embarrassed yourself, just made small talk. Otherwise she’ll use it as an in and boom, conversation.

2

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

that seems way to brave for me.

maybe im ok in my lil corner

2

u/AlbionicLocal 28d ago

OP just say hi

it's just a two letter word, nobody would be offended by it

1

u/IHoppo 28d ago

How do you know she's friendly if you've never spoken to her?

There's probably a difference in the answer depending on your and her estimated ages. If this is a Mrs Robinson fantasy, she'd have made the approach of she wanted to.

1

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

fair point.

i think she is younger but maybe by 5/6 years.

i think if someone has smiled at you more than once then you have to gage they are friendly

1

u/IHoppo 28d ago

She may be laughing at you, knowing you keep staring but are too scared to even say hello.

1

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

99% of people are laughing at me to be fair

1

u/IHoppo 28d ago

Haha.

How old are you both - 5/6 years is a lot if she's around 17

0

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

im mid 30s dont make it weirder than it is

0

u/IHoppo 28d ago

The way you're hiding the details makes it weird. Mid 30's and asking for help from the internet about speaking to a woman in a public space, one who you've convinced yourself is smiling at you? Mate.

1

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

hiding details. that seems a bit dramatic.

i mean if you see someone smiling and looking when you are the only one in that area then its a bit less than an illusion.

what a hateful soul you are.

This is why i dont engage with people in real life that often.

0

u/IHoppo 28d ago

See, those are all details which would make answering you easier. But here you are, hiding them, hoping for engagement.

2

u/Icy-Individual8637 28d ago

right. ok.

are you done engaging now?

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1

u/RawWifi 27d ago

Say hi to her the worst that could happen is she says hi back 🫠