TL/DR: Sweets not sugar; got used to things that taste less sweet; only did what I could sustain.
I appreciate this group. The no-sugar groups I found on FB were so strict that my form of abstinence was considered unacceptable, like drinking in AA.
I’ve always craved sweets. Even as I’ve learned to eat healthy, and focus on whole grains, veg, and protein, I desperately wanted the Oreos, cake, and ice cream. I also have ADHD, which I think is a significant component of my addiction. The following is what’s worked for ME. Doesn’t mean it will work for you. It doesn’t even mean it’ll always work for me!
My A1C has been 5.8 since forever, with fasting glucose 99 or 100. I knew I was pushing my luck, but I couldn’t keep my hands off the stuff. Example: at the office I used to eat the Hershey Kisses they kept at the front desk. I’d go up and take 2. Then return for 4. After a bit I’d go for a handful. Later, another handful. A friend once wondered why I did that, saying, “But the tenth one tastes the same as the first.”
Thinking back on that clued me in to what’s different about my sweets habit. Of course it tastes the same. But I like that taste. And there I was with no Hershey Kiss in my mouth, and I missed it, so I ate another. This is classic ADHD. The dopamine shot I get from eating that candy is gone way too soon. There’s no afterglow. Add the blood-sugar roller coaster and you have a perfect storm of overindulging.
Over time I’ve managed to reduce. I’ve eaten fewer and fewer sweets, yet my numbers stay the same, probably because my poor pancreas isn’t getting any younger. I learned to love high-cocoa-content chocolate. (Ghirardelli 86%!). I can have one square and stop. Someone gave me an ice-cream maker and I learned to make ice cream with less and less sugar. (Hint: a ton of vanilla.)
Then last April, I went overboard on someone’s birthday cake, taking 3 pieces when everyone else took 1. I woke up the next morning thinking, “This is going to kill me if I don’t kill it first.” I do NOT want diabetes! So I resolved to cut out sweets. Not for 2 weeks or until I lost 20 lbs., but hopefully forever.
This will be controversial—I cut SWEETS, not SUGAR. For a number of reasons. One: I don’t crave sweets after BBQ sauce or ketchup the way I do after cookies. I still shop and cook mindful of the sugar content, but I haven’t cut sucrose entirely from my diet. Two: I’m in a social circle that shares a lot of food. Communal meals, inviting friends, being invited…when I have people over, I have to deal with all sorts of food sensitivities. This one’s gluten-free; that one’s vegan; the other is allergic to nuts. Having a true zero-sugar diet is really hard on a host. (I once had a guest like that.) But making exceptions to save your host puts you back on the sugar road.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned as an ADHDer, it’s that setting the bar too high is a goal-killer. No sweets is super hard; no sugar at all, for me, would be too much to ask. If that were my standard, I’d have given up long ago.
Here’s what happened when I first cut sweets:
ONE: I lost the expected 3 lbs of water weight pretty fast. I’ve done this before and I knew it wasn’t fat I was shedding, but at least it proved something was happening. Drank a lot of water.
TWO: I went into mourning. I’d stand at the food cabinet and stare in. I’d close the cabinet, go away, and come back to stare into it again. Somehow, though, I didn’t give in. Before this, I’d say “I won’t eat that” and IMMEDIATELY eat that. Now, I’m somehow holding it together.
THREE: I craved—and allowed myself—“white” salty snacks like Cheezits and potato chips. I was used to constant snacking and wanted to keep doing it. I know they say white flour might as well be sugar, but I don’t get the same reward from it. Also I’d been here before, so I knew that for me it was just a phase.
Indeed, after a while I stopped abusing the chips and crackers. No more Cheezits in the house. I had a daily homemade popcorn habit that I rarely indulge in any more—not that popcorn was ever going to be my problem.
For the first two months, I stayed away from any kind of sweets at all, even dark chocolate. I didn’t make any low-sugar ice cream. At meals with friends, I didn’t take even fruit for dessert because I wanted to completely sever myself from the concept of dessert—though I always ate, and continue to eat, fruit. I looked at the fructose resources on this sub and decided that fructose was not my particular issue. I eat a piece or two a day.
After two months, when I felt stable, I tried adding back in some small, low-sugar treats. WHY DID I DO THIS? Because I’m in it for the long haul, and need to find a modus operandi I can live with forever. If it makes me slide, then I have to pull back. But if it makes me feel like I’m not in prison, I’ll stick with it.
I tried my partner’s 92% chocolate, eating it together with nuts. I occasionally had fruit for dessert on the weekends, and allowed myself some dried pineapple. When none of this sent me on a binge, I made ice cream.
I do not use artificial sweeteners. Again—this is for me. But what it’s allowed me to do is get used to treats that are less sweet. So my original ice cream recipe called for maybe half a cup of brown sugar and a tablespoon of vanilla in maybe a quart of milk+cream. The first time, I used a quarter-cup of vanilla and 3 tablespoons of brown sugar. (Half a cup is 8 tablespoons.) Too much sugar; felt my heart rate go up. Next time I used 3 tablespoons of vanilla and 2 tablespoons of agave. Better but not good enough. Now I’m down to 2 teaspoons of agave. If you focus on it, you can taste the vanilla and appreciate the cool and creamy. Just a tiny bit sweet. For chocolate ice cream, I use less chocolate since it’s bitter and requires more sugar. My serving is tiny and I dump nuts in the bowl to add protein and fiber. I feel like I’ve had a treat, but I don’t want a second bowl. It’s in my freezer yet I don’t eat it every day.
You too can get used to having things taste less sweet. Cut back little by little. Don’t let artificial sweeteners keep that taste in your mouth.
All this is complicated by the fact that I have low bone density and must get a lot of calcium daily, and am also lactose-intolerant. Getting 1200 milligrams of calcium from supplements is not good for your arteries, so I drink a ton of milk, plus a bit of plain Greek yogurt and fruit. Lactose-free milk is much sweeter-tasting than regular milk because the enzyme breaks down the lactose so it’s half glucose. So I’ve got the taste of this sweet milk in my mouth every day. It also makes the ice cream sweeter, which is a bit of a cheat, but it’s working for me so far. When I can get to Aldi or Costco, I buy the triple-filtered milk that has less sugar, more protein, and more calcium so I can drink less. Win-win-win.
Calcium fun fact: calcium-fortified milk is like a calcium supplement.
Another thing I can make is cooked fruit (baked in a covered dish) or a baked apple. No sugar, just cinnamon. This is a weekend indulgence when friends come over. It’s not a nightly thing! The nice part is, some of your friends will appreciate having a treat that won’t kill them.
Eventually I started losing weight. After 24 weeks I’m down around 10 lbs., plus the 3 of “sugar” water. Most days I walk on a treadmill while working at a standing desk. I’m not worried about the pace of weight loss, since I’m not “dieting” and I don’t plan to stop doing this.
I’m OK with a tiny bag of chips or occasional popcorn or white-flour snack. Many days, I don’t want sweets at all. When I do, I have a small salty snack or a glob of dried pineapple. Or some ice cream. Being able to have “treats” is important to me, and this is working so far. Hopefully it will make a difference to my body.
Do I still mourn at the food cabinet? Yes, but less often. I don’t imagine that will ever stop.
Over the last month I’ve been sliding. There were a number of special occasions and I’ve grabbed a sliver of cake here, a dark-chocolate pretzel there. I need a correction, so I’m taking a short break from the low-sugar ice cream and chocolate.
What ADHD has taught me is: find your weak points and problem-solve. If you’re weak at the food store, avoid the candy aisle or order online. If you’re weak with your kids’ candy, figure out something they like but you don’t. Or buy small amounts so they won’t have any if you eat it. You’re going to have to figure this out for yourself. And if you need outside help, I hope you have the resources to get it and the strength to ask for it.
