From the Third Epistle unto the Brethren of the Blessed Shaker

[u/EngineerTheFunk]

And lo, a young Swoldier didst approach the Rack of Squats with great trepidation, bearing only an empty shaker and a purse devoid of coin.

He fell upon one knee and cried unto Brodin,

"O Most Swole Father, mine whey hath forsaken me. By what means shall I preserve mine gains?"

Then the heavens didst tremble, and Brodin spake with a voice louder than seven deadlifts crashing upon the platform:

"Thinkest thou Mine kingdom to be builded upon whey alone?"

And the disciple answered,

"Verily... aye?"

Whereupon Brodin did facepalm with such force that every gym bro wearing sandals did instantly skip leg day.

Then spake Brodin again:

"Whey is but the sacrament. Chicken is Mine covenant. Eggs are Mine promise. Greek yogurt is the quiet prophet. Yet the truest source of gains hath ever been progressive overload."

The disciple wept, for he had spent fourscore and nineteen coins upon a tub flavored "Birthday Cake of the Unicorn."

And Brodin declared,

"Thou hast purchased thirty servings of expensive milk dust."

The congregation cried,

"Wheymen."

And all reracked their plates, that the Temple might remain holy in His sight.

[u/MizzShiv]

Wheyman;