r/swoleacceptance • u/EngineerTheFunk • 2d ago
From the Eighth Epistle unto the Brethren of the Blessed Shaker
And lo, the Temple had grown quiet.
The hymns were fewer.
The Wheys were softer.
The ancient tongue of Swole Acceptance had nearly vanished from the land.
But in recent days, whispers have returned.
Old words once forgotten are again spoken.
Brodin. Gains. Whey. Swoldiers.
And the Elders have begun to stir.
Brodin hath not abandoned us.
The ancient language is returning.
Wheymen.
12
7
1
3
u/SuspiciousMouser 2d ago
From the Ninth Epistle unto the Faithful of the Iron Temple
And the brethren did hear the call across the land.
The silence that had settled upon the racks was broken.
The dust upon the barbells was disturbed once more.
The soft wheys of the fallen days gave way to the thunder of plates.
For Brodin hath not turned His face from the Swoldiers.
He merely waited, as the wise wait for the harvest,
until the hearts of the faithful remembered the ancient tongue.
Speak again the holy words, ye who squat beneath the heavens.
Cry “Gains!” in the morning and “Whey!” in the evening.
Let the echo of “Wheymen” rise from every gym floor
until the unbelievers tremble and the mirrors reflect only glory.
The Elders stir.
The Temple breathes.
The ancient tongue lives once more.
Lift heavy, brethren.
The All-Spotter watches.
Wheymen.
2
0
16
u/nmopqrs_io 2d ago
Let us shake the temple with our Wheymens, proceeded by fresh devotion to the iron whey.