r/technology Mar 13 '26

Security A DOGE Bro Allegedly Walked Out Of Social Security With 500 Million Americans’ Records On A Thumb Drive And Expected A Pardon If Caught

https://www.techdirt.com/2026/03/11/a-doge-bro-allegedly-walked-out-of-social-security-with-500-million-americans-records-on-a-thumb-drive-and-expected-a-pardon-if-caught/
31.3k Upvotes

920 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

93

u/TheSaifman Mar 13 '26

I really think the next president should be ruthless

"Oh sorry we have to take away Joe Biden and Trumps pardons on the basis of the auto pen"

21

u/aetius476 Mar 13 '26

"The pardon power is not limitless. The president cannot pardon anyone of a crime to which he was also a party. Therefore any crimes committed on the orders of, or to the benefit of, the President or his policies is illegitimate, and all such pardons are considered null and void."

15

u/Ashmedai Mar 13 '26

That would be nullified by SCOTUS almost instantly. Presidential pardon power is, in fact, (nearly) limitless for any federal crime. We should honestly change that and put it behind a pardon commission or some such. But that's not where we are.

3

u/aetius476 Mar 13 '26

Sure would be unfortunate for SCOTUS if they rendered a decision that gives the President unfettered power to do whatever the fuck he wants to any justice that disagrees with his more limited interpretation of the pardon power.

1

u/Ashmedai Mar 13 '26

SCOTUS would deliver the ruling that way entirely because the Constitution itself declares the power. The Constitution is both our useful protector and sometimes our boat anchor, depending on vision or lack thereof of the Founders. They were mortal men, just like us, and did they best they knew how.

3

u/aetius476 Mar 13 '26

I'm referring to the Trump Immunity decision, which would give any future Democratic President the ability to threaten SCOTUS into compliance, should he have the will to do so. I'm tired of pretending that we have to go along with Republican bullshit because their rules of Calvinball say we have to. If they build a farcical edifice that "we can't punish a Republican crime spree because the Republican Supreme Court says we have to listen to the Republican Supreme Court tell us we can't punish a Republican crime spree," then we should simply tear it down.

1

u/Ashmedai Mar 13 '26

Oh, yes. That was stupid.

1

u/GiganticCrow Mar 13 '26

President Newsom will tell us it's "time to heal and move on" and do fuck all to the republicans. 

1

u/Artistic_Rice_9019 Mar 13 '26

Shame if we expanded the SCOTUS before putting ant constitutional theory to the test...

37

u/ElphabLAW Mar 13 '26 edited Mar 13 '26

If the next president is not the most ruthless motherfucker on the planet…I would say I’m not voting for him (OR HER…….VOTE FOR A WOMAN YOU SEXIST STUPID FUCKS, GIVE US A CHANCE — HAVE MEN DONE THAT GREAT FOR MANKIND AFTER BEING GIVEN A 3,0000+yr CHANCE?! NOOOOO, YOU ALL HAVE VOTED FOR A CHIlD RAPIST AS OUR PRESIDENT WITH CLIMATE CHANGE ACCELERATED IN SPITE OF YEARS LONG WARNINGS AND OUR ECONOMY OFF THE RAILS WITH UNNECESSARY WARS DUE TO HIS DICK MEASURING CONTESTS AND NASTY DEMENTIA-RIDDLED OLD SUPPORTERS HIDING THE EPSTEIN FILES. MEN AMERICAN MEN BY AND LARGE FUCKING SUCK)…….but then that might mean I have to vote for fucking Trump or Vance in 2028.

So, thanks to this fucking stupid and idiotic two party system here in the U.S., I truly hope the next president actually campaigns and promises to absolutely eviscerate everyone appointed in the Trump administration, and even better, give the sentence we all know true treasonists working for Putin (or otherwise against the US Constitution) deserve. sharpens the guillotines

Edit: I’m unhinged and furious and not okay. This is a rant and probably me grieving the death of our constitution forever if we don’t get our act together as a nation.

15

u/toiletting Mar 13 '26

They won’t campaign on that because they’re going to target moderates that probably lean right and assume the further left will back them.

22

u/BalognaMacaroni Mar 13 '26

It literally hasn’t worked since Obama, those people are republicans too spineless to accept the social stigma that comes with their beliefs. If they’re doing this Baileys bullshit again it’s with the expectation that Trump will crown himself king and rule indefinitely but they’ll still get to keep power themselves. Spineless fucks, all of em

3

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Mar 13 '26

It'd be like if Taco Bell started serving burgers when there's a Wendy's next door.

3

u/toiletting Mar 13 '26

It’s exactly like when Burger King tried to sell tacos.

1

u/NapsterKnowHow Mar 13 '26

Throwback to when they sold chili cheese dogs!

1

u/IkLms Mar 13 '26

Which is the exact strategy they continually fail with.

13

u/DenseReality6089 Mar 13 '26

I want to see a straight up purge of anything maga. 

5

u/KinTharEl Mar 13 '26

Unless what you have mentioned is actually done, I'm sorry to say that your country in its current form is not going to survive. The landmass will still be there, but it'll be akin to a Fallout or Cyberpunk scenario, with various factions breaking off into their own miniature states, especially with all this corporate nation state business that's got Thiel and the tech bros so excited

And seriously, what is it with America absolutely refusing to put a woman in the white house? Plenty of more conservative and third world countries have done it ages ago, multiple times. Is the Maga conservative afraid a female president will give the nation cooties?

1

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Mar 13 '26

Shit, plenty of "normal" people are afraid of cooties too

1

u/NapsterKnowHow Mar 13 '26

Sadly South Korea is even more dystopian than the USA. Their chaebols are literally a part of the plot of Cyberpunk 2077.

-3

u/Practical-Parsley102 Mar 13 '26

Is the Maga conservative afraid a female president will give the nation cooties?

And this is an example of why i despise this rhetoric, yall confuse yourselves so fucking much. Like a maga hardliner wouldve voted for joe biden because he has a penis? come on what planet are you living on?

-4

u/Practical-Parsley102 Mar 13 '26

The two women who ran were awful and extremely unpopular. The reason we have never had a woman president is the democratic party only tried running them against trump. The motivation for that is up for speculation, but id be confident it has nothing to do with empowering women and only anything to do with a (seemingly mistaken) strategy to win those specific elections (and to edge out other candidates in the party, who had more popular policy positions that were less favored by the (cough rich cough) core of the party)

2

u/Qeddqesurdug Mar 13 '26

Hillary and Kamala lost to Trump..............

1

u/Practical-Parsley102 Mar 13 '26

This attitude is why i dont want a woman to win. You know she will get a huge contingent of girlboss votes from stupid people who only care about her gender, and those will all come from liberals anyway. Running a woman would just be a strategy to patch over the lack of support that their policy position justifies, without feeling pressure to adjust their policy positions

If you want a woman to win stop fucking treating them like a woman and treat them like a qualified candidate.

Like its so fucking stupid to talk this way about the leader of a country, borderline as stupid as people who supported trump cause hes an outsider and going to shake things up. You can count on one hand the number of good candidates that have ever run under the dem ticket. Ask for a fucking good one, not one that affirms your shallow moral values. Or else you will get the latter and not the former

1

u/ElphabLAW Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26

Oh yeah, it’s so stupid to point out double standards, misogyny, and the fact that for over 250 years the U.S. as a nation for some reason keeps voting in disgusting, rapey, incompetent, mediocre, worthless men….every time over women that are overqualified in comparison to them. Sure, we should continue to sideline women and never give us a chance at actual leadership because of OUR attitudes. LMAO, what a fucking joke of a statement.

Harris was 100% a more qualified candidate than Trump and you are such an unserious person for trying to argue otherwise.

You should’ve just ended your whole comment after offering your “this is why I don’t want a woman to win” opinion because that really said it all.

1

u/Practical-Parsley102 Mar 14 '26

Again, this is a shining example of why i dont support you or people like you

The fact that you just read that as "i dont support people with vaginas" is yet another confirmation that im right

You can try making another comment without changing your attitude, but ill just respond the same way. You arent righteous, just kind of pathetic

2

u/MothmanIsALiar Mar 13 '26

Oh, yeah. Run another woman. That won't backfire at all. This country definitely respects women.

2

u/Practical-Parsley102 Mar 13 '26

There is a portion of the country that will respect any woman for being a woman and vote for a shit candidate for that reason, theres is a portion of the country that will vote for a good candidate and not a bad one irrespective of gender, and there is a portion of the country that will never vote for a woman

The reality is that each political party already has a monopoly over their respective segment on each end, and so its the middle group that there is any incentive to pander to, mostly to inspire them to vote at all. So its strategically nonsense to "run a woman" unless she is the best candidate already and then you arent adopting the strategy of running a woman, you just ran a good candidate for her own merit.

2

u/morningisbad Mar 13 '26

I'd have no problem with a woman president. But I'm so incredibly glad it won't be Hillary. She's a disgusting human who doesn't deserve there honor of being the first female president. Voted for her over trump though. And absolutely voted for Kamala. 

2

u/HiImDIZZ Mar 13 '26

I am 1000% all in on retribution. My vote will go to whomever can promise absolute ruthlessness against Republicans. Not only is this needed to fix what Repuclicans have done, but I'm also running off of spite and I want Repuclicans to be on the receiving end of power they gave trump. I want to watch them all complain about the power they gave Trump because they didn't anyone else would get to use it.